An Idiot's Guide to Free Cake
I wrote a Klance fic a few months ago based off a Tumblr prompt by alrightevans, "I just saw a thing on fb like ‘does somebody wanna be fake engaged to me for like 2 hours to try free wedding cake samples’ and I'm just…………………imagine ur otp". It's my first time posting on here so hopefully this goes smoothly lol.
It's also lightly inspired by a story a friend once told me of how she faked an engagement for free cake at a restaurant lol. I had a lot of fun writing this and I just figured I'd share it here as well!
If you'd rather read on AO3 (https://archiveofourown.org/works/56362210)
Thanks for reading!
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Keith slid into the slightly sticky booth seat, already regretting the decision to come.
Well. He wouldn’t call it a decision. That would involve options. Non-coerced options that didn’t involve threats and blackmail.
Keith buried his face in his hands, taking a deep, steadying breath. It’s just one dinner. All he has to do is grit his teeth, order his food, avoid eye contact, and dip once an appropriate amount of time has passed. He can do this. He has to do this.
His dignity is at stake, after all.
Distracted by his internal pep-talk, Keith didn’t hear Lance approach until he was crashing into the booth across from him with a loud huff. Keith dragged his head up to glare at the man.
Lance, late as always - though this time thankfully so - seemed unbothered by Keith’s glare. He flashed a smile at the hostess who showed him to the table and thanked her warmly enough Keith noticed the beginnings of a blush bloom on her cheeks. Even after the hostess scurried off, Lance still didn’t turn to look at Keith.
So this is how he wants to play, huh? Even though Keith planned on using this exact tactic, it annoyed him that Lance had started before he could. He got here first. It should be him starting the averted glares and pointed silence.
Keith mentally kicked himself. He was being childish. Lance tended to bring that out in Keith; a side of Keith that even he didn’t know he was capable of until Lance came into the picture. Lance just had a way of getting under Keith’s skin. He knew all the ways to make Keith tick. It would be humiliating if Keith wasn’t able to do the same to Lance. Though, unfortunately, that’s precisely why they’re in the predicament that they’re in.
Keith lifted his chin defiantly, refusing to utter a word to Lance. Not even a sign of acknowledgment. Lance came late so he should say something first. Instead, Keith busied himself with the menu, scanning the options.
Fuck this place was expensive. $25 for a plate of pasta. For most places Keith goes to, $25 can cover the meal, drink, and tip. Why they couldn’t just meet at a college town restaurant was beyond him. Lance just had to pick this place. Keith rolled his eyes in annoyance before scanning the rest of the menu for something somewhat reasonable. He found a burger, with fries (truly a surprise), for a little over $18. It was still going to be a pricey meal, but at least it wasn’t $25 for pasta.
Across from him, Lance picked up his menu and scanned over the selections. Softly, almost too quiet to make out over the din of the people around them, Keith could have sworn he heard Lance say, “Jesus.” Lance’s teeth tugged at his bottom lip, chewing absently as his brows pinched together in time with his eyes dropping lower and lower down the menu. Keith gritted his teeth.
If you’re so shocked by the menu, why did you pick this place? He wanted to snap. But he’d already sworn to himself he wouldn’t say anything first and he’ll be damned if he breaks so soon. Keith looked around the cozy, intimate restaurant. They were seated in a cramped booth against a dividing wall that split up the main dining area. The kind of booth that encouraged closeness and murmured conversations. It seemed like a place that preferred you to lean in close, maybe hold hands, and share stories or inside jokes with one another. A small oasis in a crowded restaurant. Keith found himself leaning back against his seat, chasing away the idea.
The lighting in the room was soft, almost annoyingly too buttery yellow for comfort, which made Keith rub his eyes in agitation. Waiters bustled around, bright smiles plastered on their faces. Some walked from table to table, their sole purpose being to offer wine and top-off drinks. This was definitely not the kind of place Keith often found himself in.
He thought about his past few meals - whatever concoction he could create to fill his stomach while not draining his wallet. Until recently, he’d been coasting off a diet of cereal and ramen. But he was sick of ramen and he was beginning to think he might be lactose intolerant. He’s not proud of it, but recently Keith succumbed to mixing store-bought queso, chicken nuggets, rice, and hot sauce and using it as a dip for his chips. It tasted better than it should have.
So while Keith was not looking forward to the price of this meal, and was most definitely not looking forward to spending it with Lance, he was, at the very least, fucking thankful to be eating something other than the remnants of his fridge.
A waiter coasted up to their table, high ponytail swinging even after she came to a stop. “Hello and welcome! My name is Addison and I’ll be taking care of you two this evening.” Her voice was bubbly and sweet. Lance glanced up from his menu, startled by her sudden appearance.
He recovered quickly, a smooth grin unfurling across his lips as he returned her smile.
“Good evening Addison,” he replied, voice gentle and welcoming. It wasn’t flirtatious, as Lance often is with others, but Addison still seemed a bit flustered. Keith wanted to kick Lance in the shin but he held himself back. He wasn’t technically doing anything wrong.
“Right, erm…” Addison trailed off for a second, seemingly losing her place in her routine. “Can I get you guys started with any drinks?”
“Just a water for me,” Keith told her. No need to spend almost five dollars for a glass of soda that was mostly just ice. Addison gave a quick nod before turning back to Lance.
“I’ll take the summer peach tea,” Lance told her. Of course he would get something like that. Never mind that Keith didn’t know what options there were to begin with, having deliberately chosen to avoid them on the menu. But he wasn’t shocked. It was an entirely Lance-like drink. Sweet, fruity, and overly indulgent.
“Oh, that’s a good one. I get that all the time,” Addison said, sounding a bit too sincere to be genuine. Keith wondered how often she even ate at the restaurant. If it were him, he wouldn’t dare eat where he worked. Just being there for work was exhausting enough. It would suck to come in when he wasn’t even scheduled. “Would you guys like any appetizers to start with? Or are you ready to order?”
Lance shot Keith a wide-eyed look, the kind that would be comical if Keith wasn’t already so annoyed with him. Part of Keith wanted to say, “Why yes, we are actually.” just to watch Lance scramble to find something. But that would be a little too dickish.
“I still need a minute,” Lance admitted, sheepish.
“Oh absolutely, no worries,” Addison reassured him. “I’ll be right back with those drinks.” She zipped away, disappearing almost as fast as she came. Keith sighed, sinking back into his seat as the silence settled over them, creating their own shitty little bubble of discomfort.
Lance’s face was pinched, brows puckered and his lips scrunched in his thinking expression. Keith watched as he began to tap absentmindedly on his chin with a long, slender index finger. Finally, Lance puffed out a sigh, seemingly coming to a decision. He placed the menu on the table and glanced up, jumping when his eyes met Keith’s.
Keith’s own eyes widened, startled by the sudden eye contact. Quickly he dropped his gaze to his hands, fingers curled into a tangle in his lap. He heard Lance clear his throat and wondered if Lance would be the first to break their standoff.
But whatever Lance was about to say was interrupted by Addison’s sudden return. Lance thanked her warmly, not the least bit annoyed by the interruption, while she cheerily deposited their drinks onto the table. Keith felt a surge of gratitude to the server, thankful to prolong the inevitable for a few moments longer.
“So, are we ready to order yet?” She asked cautiously. Keith glanced up, casting his gaze from Addison, to Lance, and back to Addison.
“Um, I am…if you are,” he mumbled, looking back at Lance again. Lance nodded, shooting one last look at the menu. Taking the chance, Keith gave his order to Addison. “I’ll take the classic cheeseburger. No tomatoes on it, please.” Addison’s head bobbed as she jotted down the order.
“No tomato, got it. Everything else on there okay?” Keith nodded. “And are the fries okay as your side?” He nodded again. She smiled and took his menu from him. “You got it then. And for you, sir?”
Lance glanced up again, the usual smile unfurling once more. “My turn already?” He let out a small chuckle. “There’s so much to pick from, it’s hard to settle on just one thing.” Addison laughed.
“Oh, I know. The menu changes every season, so there's always something new.”
“Does it really?” Lance asked, genuine curiosity in his tone. “That sounds awesome. Makes you want to come back to try it all." Keith wanted to roll his eyes. Lance seemed to make it his goal in life to be liked by everyone. "But for today," Lance continued, his face briefly scrunching up before finally deciding. "I think I’ll settle for the shrimp ravioli.”
“Excellent choice,” Addison said as she scribbled on her pad. “I haven’t personally had that one before - shellfish allergy - but I hear customers raving about it all the time. I’ll go put these in for you.” She swept away again, her ponytail swinging like a pendulum behind her.
“I like her,” Lance mused. Keith shot him a look, eyebrow rising in a silent question. “She seems nice,” he added without looking at Keith. Whether he was talking to himself or he noticed Keith’s gaze was unclear. Instead, Lance unraveled a straw from the plastic casing and plunked it into his drink. Keith squinted at the concoction. Tea was settled at the bottom, mixing with what Keith assumed was lemonade on top, with chunks of peach floating alongside ice cubes. He wondered if that was any good. And how well that would go with shrimp.
Just the thought of that made his nose wrinkle. He wasn’t a big fan of seafood and the idea of eating shrimp and washing it down with a peach-flavored Arnold Palmer sounded awful.
“Is that any good?” He finally asked, caving. He wasn’t technically losing his one-sided cold war, Lance had spoken first after all. Whether it was just to himself or to Keith didn’t matter.
At least, that's what Keith told himself.
Lance’s gaze flittered up, eyes wide like he was surprised to hear Keith speaking to him. He blinked, slowly, before considering. “It’s pretty good,” he admitted. “But I am regretting it, now that I’ve ordered.” It seemed Lance had come to the same conclusion that Keith had. Peach tea and shrimp ravioli probably weren’t a match made in culinary heaven.
“Can’t see why you’d think that,” Keith said, his tone dry and words a little more sarcastic than he’d meant for it to come off as. Lance bristled slightly, his eyes narrowing as if he was readying for a fight. Keith winced. “Sorry,” he muttered. This was supposed to be a peace negotiation. He wasn’t here to make things worse.
A few days prior, Lance and Keith had gotten into another argument. Keith couldn’t even remember what it was about; their bickering had been the background to so many hangouts that their friends finally sat them down for an intervention. Shiro and Allura led the intervention while Hunk played mediator for Lance and Keith. Pidge was just there for the chaos.
Regardless, the issues between Keith and Lance were getting too big to overlook and their friends were tired of it. Keith hadn’t realized how bad it’d gotten until Allura firmly stated that until they got their act together, neither would be invited to any gatherings in their friend group.
Keith could tell that the command sat heavily on Lance. When Allura announced the plan for Lance and Keith to go out to dinner and play nice…Keith contemplated throwing the whole friend group away. But he couldn’t do that to them. He cared about his friends more than he was willing to admit out loud and would be lying if he said he didn’t find the time they spent together enjoyable. Lance included. It was the first time Keith had ever been part of a friend group and it felt good. He liked spending time with them, going bowling, studying in the library, and doing other silly shenanigans around campus.
…Not to mention, Keith wasn’t so sure he could replace them if he did throw them away. He wasn’t exactly approachable the way Lance was.
“Whatever,” Lance sighed, leaning his cheek against his palm, giving him an almost pouty look. “So…” he started, looking like he was, for once, at a loss for words. “You’re into places like this, huh?” Keith frowned.
“Why would…” he trailed off, shaking his head. “Wasn’t this your pick, Lance?” Lance snorted a laugh.
“God no. If it were up to me, dinner would be Taco Bell and we’d have gone through the drive-thru.” A laugh burst out of Keith before he could press his lips together to suffocate the sound. In a half-hearted attempt to smother the sound, he faked a cough, covering his mouth with his hand to hide the smile spreading across his lips.
“How romantic,” Keith replied dryly. Lance shot him an over-dramatic wink which earned him another laugh from Keith.
“Romantic indeed though,” Lance mused, eyes roaming the dining area. “I didn’t even know a place like this existed in this town.” Lance turned back to Keith, brows furrowed in confusion. “But wait…if you didn’t pick this place-”
“Absolutely not,” Keith cut in.
“And I definitely wouldn’t choose such a place…” he cocked his head just slightly, the move reminding Keith of a confused puppy. “Who the hell did?”
Keith lifted one shoulder, trying to banish the thought from his mind. “If I had to guess, probably Allura. Seems like the kind of place she would have been to at least once.” Lance hummed softly in agreement. “Though if I’m being honest,” Keith bit back a sigh. “It was also very likely…”
“Pidge,” they said in unison. They stared at each other, wide-eyed, before sharing a small laugh.
What the hell is going on here? Keith thought to himself. This was probably the most he’d ever enjoyed himself in Lance’s company. Keith never thought there would be a day that he'd genuinely laugh with Lance instead of at him.
“Yeah, I can see that one for sure,” Lance agreed, rubbing a hand down his face. “That gremlin would definitely have chosen the most awkward place possible for us to meet.”
“Awkward? What would make you think that?” Keith said, his tone on the verge of teasing. Lance stared at him, a flustered look on his face. He thought Keith was being serious.
Keith grinned, pressing on. “I mean, we’re just two dudes, sitting in a small, intimate restaurant with mood lighting and music, on a Friday night at six pm. Entirely normal.” Somewhere between “two dudes” and “mood lighting” Lance caught on to the fact that Keith was joking and had smothered another laugh into his hands. His head was tilted down, making it hard for Keith to see Lance’s expression, but he felt a small flutter in his stomach. He was so used to getting on Lance’s nerves, and vice versa, that it was a bit odd to be making Lance laugh. It was weird to be laughing all. This was not on Keith's Intervention Dinner bingo card.
After a moment, the laughter subsided and the two lapsed into a comfortable silence. Neither said anything for a few minutes. Keith wondered if he should say something, but Lance beat him to it. “You know, it’s a shame we’re sworn enemies.”
Keith blinked. Once. Twice. “What?” Of all the things Lance could have said, “sworn enemies” wasn’t even in consideration. Where had Lance gotten that idea from?
It seemed even Lance was starting to feel self-conscious about his statement. His cheeks flushed a faint pink, but he carried on regardless. “You know, academic rivals—sworn enemies. Destined to never be friends. That sort of stuff.” Keith considered what Lance had just said.
“I don’t get it.” He said finally, voice flat with confusion. He squinted at Lance. “When were we ever academic rivals?? Lance, we aren’t even in the same major.” The pink in Lance’s cheeks reddened.
“Before college,” he muttered. “Back at the Garrison.” Keith’s memories of the Garrison were foggy. Not due to time, but to a lack of desire to dwell on those days. Dropping out of the Garrison was the best thing he’d ever done. He’d very nearly foregone schooling altogether. It was only due to Shiro pushing him to get his GED and then eventually look into colleges that Keith even made it to where he is today.
“Still not sure what you mean,” Keith admitted. Lance looked appalled. No. Not appalled. He looked outraged.
“What?” He snapped, his voice spiking for a brief moment. Keith shot a nervous look around the room. “What do you mean? How could you not know what I’m talking about?” Keith opened his mouth to say something but wasn’t sure what would be best in this situation. He snapped his jaw shut, hissing a breath out between his clenched teeth. There he was. This was the real Lance. Loud, dramatic, and with a chip on his shoulder about god knows what. Keith felt his irritation begin to rise.
“Well you see Lance,” Keith said with forced patience. “When someone says, ‘I don’t know’, it typically means that they don’t know.” He shot Lance a glare, surprised to see the ferocity in Lance’s eyes as he glared right back at Keith.
“I spent every day at the Garrison being compared to you,” Lance snapped, jabbing a finger at Keith. He was doing his best to keep his voice low but Keith could tell that others were starting to look at them. Keith couldn’t find the will to care about that though.
“To me?” He asked, incredulously. “Don’t be ridiculous. Why would you get compared to me?” Keith wasn’t positive, but he was almost certain they rarely crossed paths at the Garrison. When he’d met Lance during welcome week two years ago, both newly minted college freshmen, he’d been surprised to hear that Lance had already known him. Since Keith was notoriously bad at remembering faces, he’d just brushed it off. Now he was starting to wonder if that’d been a mistake.
“Because,” Lance hissed. “No matter what I did, no matter how good I was, I could never beat you. Even if I did, technically, surpass you in terms of grades, there was always something or another that you still managed to do better. And everyone talked about that. If I was second place, you were first. It didn't matter if you'd already left. I was constantly chasing after your stupid shadow. It wasn’t just teachers comparing us, our peers compared us too.” He slumped back in his seat, his back thumping hard against the booth seat. He looked utterly defeated, the anger draining out of him. Keith felt a small stab of guilt looking at him.
“I didn’t know that,” Keith admitted, a little embarrassed. He had felt like he’d been drowning during his time at the Garrison. It was strange to hear someone else reflect on it like he’d been some scholar student.
Not some fuck up that dropped out in a fit of rage.
Keith leaned back in the booth, unsure of what to say. He glanced across the table at Lance who looked too immersed in his bitter memories to notice. Keith wondered what he would have been like if he hadn’t dropped out. What Lance would have been like. Their relationship certainly wouldn’t have been any better. The chip on Lance’s shoulder was far too great to overlook and Keith had been too eager to jump into every fight that came across his path at the time. It was probably good that they didn't encounter each other back then.
Not that much has changed in him, it seems. Considering the way he and Lance still bicker and argue even though Keith isn’t always sure why. Sometimes it was the way Lance looked at him. Or the way he seemed to imply certain things. Other times it was just his obnoxiously loud nature. How he seemed too carefree in a crowd. Too at ease no matter where he went, even when he got swarmed by others. Like honey to a sea of flies.
Keith hadn’t wanted to be another drop in the swirling mass. But there were times he craved it. And maybe that too was why he started being nasty back at Lance.
Sunny, golden boy Lance. Always eager to please. He was a friend to anyone and everyone, and despite how he seemed, intelligent as hell. Looking at Lance made Keith feel like he was looking at a bitter reflection of himself. Of who Keith should have been. Smart, determined, charismatic, and a bit more (okay, a lot more) outgoing. Even though Keith knew if he had stayed, things would have only gotten worse, there were times when he looked at Lance and felt that bitter surge of jealousy. And like a little kid who felt inferior, he wanted to knock Lance down a peg sometimes.
Keith bit back a laugh at the stupidity of it all. Was this seriously worth all the fighting? Was it worth nearly splitting up a friend group because of some shitty emotional baggage?
“I just…” Lance started to say. Keith watched Lance swallow, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he stalled on the words. “I just don’t know why you left.”
Keith winced. He wasn’t expecting that conversation. He had half expected one of their friends to have spilled the story to Lance. Allura, Pidge, and Shiro all knew the story. He wasn’t sure about Hunk. Hunk was so easygoing it probably didn’t occur to him to pry.
Keith let out a sigh. “It-”
A waiter arrived, his hands ladened with their dinner. “Alright, so I’ve got the shrimp ravioli,” he placed it down in front of Lance when Lance held up his hand. “And the burger,” he continued, sliding the second plate over to Keith. “Dinner of champions right there,” he added with a slight chuckle. Keith bit back a snarky remark, glaring at the retreating waiter’s back.
“Did you just get bullied by the waiter?” Lance asked with a forced chuckle, attempting to steer the conversation away from his previous question. He busied himself, fidgeting with his plate and avoiding eye contact. Keith rolled his silverware out of the fancy napkin tangle it was trapped in, a tad too aggressively.
“Sure as hell sounds like it,” he muttered. He popped a fry into his mouth and goddamn it that was good. His mood eased as he ate a few more. “About your question from before,” Keith could see Lance tense, his eyes laser-focused on his plate. His napkin was gone and Keith wondered where he’d put it. “It’s not like it’s a secret…”
“How is everything y’all?” Addison chirped as she manifested at the edge of their table. Both Keith and Lance jumped, eyes as wide as saucers. She giggled a little. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you two.”
“You’re good,” Lance assured her, recovering first. “Everything seems perfect so far, thanks,” Keith grunted in agreement. Satisfied, Addison flashed them another smile and disappeared, probably off to startle another table.
They sat awkwardly for a long moment, Lance playing with his pasta and Keith pretending to busy himself with his burger. This is worse than earlier, Keith thought. At least then it was intentional.
“Garrison and I didn’t mix,” Keith said finally. Lance froze, still staring at his pasta. “I was…” Keith trailed off, searching for the right word. Hopeless? Helpless? Pushed to the brink? “Miserable,” he decided, choosing the least pathetic sounding option. “I hated being there. When Shiro was gone and it was just me left behind,” he pressed his lips together. Inhaling deeply, he finished, “The Garrison doesn’t care about its students. Just their results. And I had too much going on to give a shit anymore.” He looked over at Lance, surprised to see his eyes locked on him. Ocean blue depths unfathomable. Keith squirmed a bit in his seat. He didn’t like how Lance looked at him, eyes impassive for once. It was too unsettling.
“I didn’t know,” Lance said softly. Keith’s body went rigid. “Garrison sucked in a lot of ways. But for me, it was everything. I didn’t think about how it would be for someone else.” Lance swirled his fork in the sauce on his plate. Keith wiped his palms - for some reason they were sweaty - along his jeans.
“It’s not like I made it known,” Keith sighed. “And we barely spoke.”
“Yeah, but,” Lance pressed his face into his free hand. “That doesn’t mean it was fair.”
“And I feel like a complete asshole right now.”
Lance lifted his head, eyes narrowed as he shot daggers at Keith. “Not helping,” he snapped. Keith laughed, shaky but genuine.
“I thought it was.” Lance rolled his eyes but didn’t retaliate.
“I’m sorry,” he said. He was sitting up straighter now, his eyes serious. “I didn’t realize. And that’s not a good excuse, nor should it be considered one. I was an asshole and I made my problems be your problems too.”
Keith was a little thrown off by this. He hadn’t expected such a heartfelt apology from Lance. “It’s okay,” he said. “Truly. It was shitty that you had to put up with their comparisons. It wasn’t fair that they kept pitting you against me. You’ve made amazing accomplishments. No one should have made them or you feel less than.” Lance blinked, his expression stunned. For a minute, Keith worried that Lance would start to cry.
“Thank you.” Lance’s voice was small and shy. A little guarded. He popped a ravioli in his mouth. “Damn this is good,” he said, mouth full. Keith laughed, picking up his burger. The food was good. Almost good enough to forgive the ridiculous price. “I’m taking some of those,” Lance said suddenly, swiping a few fries off Keith’s plate. Keith let out an outraged sound and swatted at Lance’s hand the second time it crept near his plate.
The rest of the dinner passed smoothly, Lance only managing to steal a few more fries before Keith nearly jabbed him with a fork. Once they’d cleared the air, it appeared they had a few things in common. When Keith had mentioned that he’d never been to the beach, Lance was distraught. He started gushing about the joys of beach weather, promising to take him one day.
“This summer,” he said, eyes shining. Lance was grinning so wide he looked like he was glowing. “I’ll take you to the beach. We could do a whole weekend trip.” Keith grinned, surprised to find that he was actually considering the idea. He’d never been one for the beach. There was no way Lance was getting him into the ocean.
“Let’s make it a group trip,” Keith suggested. “Allura would love to go.” Lance surged forward, jostling the table. Keith glanced over at where their empty plates had been pushed to the end, worried Lance’s sudden movement would knock them over.
“Oh my god that would be amazing!” Lance exclaimed. “We could rent out a beach house or something if we all pool together our cash. We could get sparklers, do picnics, barbeque…I can even teach you how to surf, Cowboy!” Keith spluttered a laugh.
Lance shrugged. “It’s better than Mullet, right?” Keith grimaced.
“How are we doing now?” Addison asked, sliding up to the table. She scooped the plates up as she spoke. “Do we think we can stomach some dessert?”
“Uh…” Lance shot a look at Keith. The curiosity was clear on his face.
“Could we see the dessert menu?” Keith asked for him. Addison bobbed her head, chirping that she’d be right back with one.
“Thanks,” Lance said, looking slightly embarrassed. Keith shrugged.
“You know it’s going to be ridiculously expensive,” Keith pointed out. Lance dragged out a sigh, splaying his arms across the table dramatically.
“That’s true, but I like looking anyway. It’s like window shopping.”
Keith rolled his eyes. “So you torture yourself even when you know you shouldn’t?”
Lance looked like Keith had just said something incredibly dumb. “Well…yeah. Obviously.” Keith shook his head.
“You’re unimaginative,” Lance shot back. “Live a little. Enjoy the flavors of life.” He pulled his cup closer, blowing bubbles into the remaining liquid.
“Y’know,” Keith began, bemused by Lance's sulking. “I know someone who once got a cake slice for free at a place like this.” Lance squinted up at Keith.
“Seriously? How the hell did they do that?”
Keith smirked. “She faked an engagement with her friend.” Lance’s eyes widened, a startled huff of laughter bursting out of him.
“You’re kidding!” He laughed. “That’s amazing. Why have I never thought of that?” He paused, his head tilting to the side like he always does when he’s considering something. “Do you think that stuff actually works?” Keith considered the idea, fingers twisting on the ring he always wears on his right hand. He noticed Addison heading towards them, a menu in hand.
“Only one way to find out,” he said slyly. Lance’s expression shuffled from confusion to shock, landing on bewilderment as Keith slid out of his booth and knelt in front of Lance. Lance played the part well, hands flying up to his mouth in fabricated surprise - probably to hide the laughter plaguing him. His eyes glistened and Keith had to hand it to him, the guy could act.
“Lance,” Keith said, struggling to keep the snicker out of his voice. “Would you…” he blanked. He hadn’t thought this far ahead. Was he supposed to give a speech? What would make this more believable to the onlookers slowly beginning to tune in?
Luckily, Lance saved him. “Yes!” He squealed, throwing his arms around Keith’s shoulders. It was the closest the two had ever been and Keith’s frantic mind stuttered. Lance pulled back, just far enough to press his forehead against Keith’s. His skin was warm and the faint scent of his cologne - citrus and bergamot - tickled Keith’s nose. Lance fluttered his lashes dramatically, a soft huff of laughter escaping before he could stop it. He bit his bottom lip, most likely to stop himself from laughing even more.
“Can I put it on?” He asked Keith, voice soft and sweet. Keith stared at him, in awe of the performance Lance was putting together. Damn, he really wants that cake huh?
“Uh, sure,” Keith muttered, his voice a bit too rough. He took Lance’s left hand, willing the ring to fit as he slid it onto Lance’s finger.
It was a perfect fit. Lance did chuckle then, loud enough for others to hear him. But it felt right. He cradled his hand against his chest, beaming at Keith as he did so.
“It’s perfect,” he cooed. He glanced up, feigning surprise as he took in the onlookers watching them. “Oh!” He exclaimed, pressing his hands to his cheeks. “This is so embarrassing,” he said, a bit too loudly to be casual. Keith bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing out loud. He noticed Addison hovering not too far away, her hands covering her mouth, the dessert menu dangling from the crook of her elbow. She looked so moved by their performance that Keith felt a little guilty for fooling her.
“Oh my gosh you two,” she breathed. “Would you like me to…I don’t know…take a picture?” Lanced nodded excitedly, passing her his phone. As she readied the camera, Lance wrapped his arms around Keith’s neck once more, his cheek pressing against Keith’s.
“This is gonna be one hell of a story to tell the others,” Lance said through his teeth, his grin so wide it could split his face in half.
“They’re never gonna believe us,” Keith muttered back, his own smile broad and genuine. The story was so far-fetched that Keith wasn’t even sure a picture would be enough to convince them.
Addison snapped their picture and returned the phone to Lance, who gushed about how “perfect” the photo was. Keith was rising to stand when Addison announced that she would be right back and walked off with a wink.
“I think it worked,” Lance hissed, eyes sparkling with glee.
“It better have, I didn’t put in all this effort for nothing,” Keith teased. Lance rolled his eyes. They both knew who put in the real work to convince the crowd. Lance took out his phone again, fingers flying across the screen. Before Keith could ask what he was doing, his phone pinged with a message alert.
The photo Lance sent to the group chat was surprisingly good. Maybe it was the camera on Lance’s phone or the lighting in the restaurant, but the two looked convincing. A little too convincing. Keith’s cheeks were flushed but he looked happy. Genuinely happy. Like it had been a real proposal gone right.
Hunk: What happened during your dinner???
Allura: Mission…successful?
Pidge: Is this real? This has to be fake right? Did you two stage a photo to make us think you actually made up?
Hunk: That sounds like something Lance would do…
By the time Addison came back to their table, the two were laughing so hard, Lance was wiping tears from his eyes and Keith’s face was hurting from smiling so much. The cake she placed in front of them was chocolate, with a looping chocolate syrup, “Congratulations!” on the plate. At Lance’s suggestion, the two took turns feeding one another for their first bites.
The cake was dense and fudgy, with bursts of tart raspberry sauce between the layers. It was way too sweet to be something Keith would typically order, the chocolate icing coated his tongue and melted into a sugary syrup in the back of his throat. Keith watched the way Lance melted with every bite, his expression pure bliss as he shoveled bite after bite into his mouth.
“Best fake engagement ever,” Lance said around a mouthful of cake.
Keith smiled, knowing that the cake was probably worth every penny of the ridiculous price that it normally sold for. Later, be it tomorrow or the next day, Keith knew he would feel a bit guilty for conning the restaurant. But for now, Keith savored every last bite.
