A student's journal

This is a journal of an accounting student studying in Dubai. I'm pretty new to Tumblr but u can check out my Instagram: Unmitfaige_saltoon. If u have any questions regarding Dubai or university life feel free to ask me lmao.

[unmitfaige]

I’m stuck

     First of all, I’m really sorry that I kinda ditched Tumblr for the past few weeks. I was busy meeting assignments dead-lines n shit. Hmm. I kinda did an observation session on myself, long story short, I realized that no matter how I love doing something, when it gets serious, I tend to back off from it. In the beginning of the semester, I was really interested in a course that’s about innovation and entrepreneurship, later on during the semester, when shit started hitting the fan, I kinda wanted to withdraw from the course. It’s weird since I thought that I was always a hard worker. It doesn’t only occur in my studies, I really do enjoy gaming and all, however, when shit got serious - I have to participate in a tournament this week - I kinda want to pussy out of it. I dunno what happened to my self-esteem man. It sucks.

     Anyways, I kinda started meeting a new year’s resolution goal, I kinda am keeping my relationship with my dad to the minimum. Surprisingly, its actually amazing since there’s nothing that relates me to ma dad except the allowance that I get from em in the start of every month. By doing this, even though it might sound awful to many people, it made my dad to stop messing up with my life. He didn’t really interfere with it b4, now however, he doesn’t do anything that might effect our relationship since I can literally just get out of the house and never see em again. I know that he’s aware of it. I REPEAT it again, its not as awful as it sounds, he never really engaged with me at all in my childhood, so I won’t let em mess up my adulthood. It’s as simple as that.

     I’m kinda taking my studies more seriously that I did in the past semester. This is the only good thing that is happening right now. Anyhow, I kinda did go out twice on a hiking trip with ma homie Ammar, it was splendid, I loved it. The trail was speechless and the company in itself was amusing. I kinda do wanna again but the weather started getting warmer and warmer so it’s not the ideal time to plan a trip like that now.

     That’s it for now, I might be sharing more later on. On that note, adios mi amors.

[unmitfaige]

lookin’ fresh...

     I’m finally starting to feel great again. It’s all about the small moments that determine everything. I can’t really remember every small detail that occurred this weekend. I learned a couple of things, it feels nice. Perfect start to the week. I love it when it starts superbly. I think I over-thought again in the past week. I over-thought to the point I didn’t accomplish anything at all. I’m taking things a notch down this week and see how things r going to turn out. I’m finally studying properly. Took me 3 weeks to get to that point. I’m planning to exercise daily from now on. I still don’t got no purpose though.

     My parents r going to be out this week. Freedom, huh? Maybe. I’m thinking about going out camping this weekend since the weather is still incredible. It’s weird. This year’s winter is different. It’s really cold here in Dubai.

      Anyhow, I hope this week goes without any woes.

[unmitfaige]

Listener or Talker?

24/1/2020

     One thing that most of y’all don’t know about me is that, I’m not an initiative kinda guy. It doesn’t reflect myself as a coward, however, I hate it when am the only anomaly in a group. I can surely stand out of the crowd, sometimes I don’t feel like it. I don’t get it.

     Most people can be classified into being talkers or listeners. I’m definitely a listener. It’s not that I convinced myself into being one, I tried being a talker, it’s hard. Being a human-radio needs a natural skill. I was so close into majoring in psychology. I still do. I like it when I listen to other people’s issues and then give them a reasonable answer. It’s not creepy, u need patience and will to do that.

     One of the main things that shows that am a listener is that, I love quiet places. It’s comfortable. That’s y I don’t usually go to parties and concerts. Nevertheless, there r times when I lose control and go all out. It’s cool, breaking the routine from times to times.

[unmitfaige]

Thoughts...

     Love is a weird thing. It’s the only abstract that I can’t really analyze nor understand, that’s why it’s beautiful. I would like to talk and release my thoughts about this topic since I’ve just completed the series *How I Met Your Mother*. One of the best series I’ve ever watched, it’s so worth the wait. I kinda deepened my knowledge about how relationships work. From friendships all the way to the romantic one’s.

    Nowadays, people underestimate the value of these relationships. There’s less trust between individuals and even lesser connection between pupils. The question is, why is that happening even though we r living in a world where technology and advancements r the main leaders of the economy? Abundant theories have expressed that Social Media plays a huge role, but does it? People r lacking the “Real” factor in relationships. U don’t have to be perfect partner in order for the relationship to succeed. I don’t know about the rest of u, but, if you’ve seen the series “You” ur gonna get me. The guy tries to sound, look, and be the best. Guess what? It didn’t work. I can’t say that it never works, its just that, being ur true self is the best version of you that u can ever be.

    True relationships r hard to acquire and even harder to maintain. Damn straight.

[unmitfaige]

Start of a new week

4- 1- 2020

Ah, fresh start, second chance. It’s the start of a new week where amma be productive as hell. I’ve already gathered all the documents needed to apply for part-time jobs again, did some cardio, and took personal photographs. Tomorrow is going to be amazing, I’m finally going to do my first important productive work of the year. Fingers crossed that amma get that job. More to come in the upcoming day.

[unmitfaige]

Productivity, ain’t it?

25/Dec/2019

     It’s been a couple of interesting days really. A lot of productivity’s happening. With Christmas on doors, I gotta say life’s good for now. I still maintained my perfect 4.0 GPA. Ugh, I love it when I accomplish something fantastic. I went shopping with my homie (A). I’m done with my CV, hopefully apply for a part-time job next week again. I’m reading everyday, it’s actually fun.

     *Normal People* by Sally Rooney. It’s a messed up book where the writer narrates the story of two high-school youngsters falling in love under weird circumstances. The book is really awkward, which made me like it even more. It’s sexual in one way, funny in another. I’m still in the beginning, guess that amma spend my time continuing the story. I don’t really get intrigued by the idea of reading books n shit. Amma try my best with this one.

[unmitfaige]

Just finished ma exams

I’m back in the game y’all. After a devastating semester, am finally done with ma studies. It was a bad semester tbh. I got way too lazy in the middle and kept on being that way till the end. I kinda got lost in my issues. I really do need to get back up again. I need to get better and do better. I’m starting a new thing from tmoro and on-wards.

THINGS AMMA TRY TO CHANGE:

-I’m gonna go out more often     -I’m gonna try and be a better brother                  -I’m tryna be more fit                  -amma meet new people from different cultures   -amma get a part-time job          -amma try be in a relationship. (my heart got broken in the last one)                -tryna read more consistently.                             

That’s what I thought of tdy. I’m gonna stick to these goals and try to achieve them. It’s actually my 2020 goals, however, since am done with uni now, I’d like to give them a shot. See how they turn out by then.

[unmitfaige]

Follow up on ma story

10- 12- 2019

I still didn’t find a job. Bummer. I’m feeling good though. I started sleeping properly, guess that’s y I started feeling great. I’ve started revising and writing notes to prepare for my finals. Things r great. No job tho. Meh, things r fine. I’ve been watching *How I met your mother*, funny series it is lol. I’m excited about this new year’s eve. Guess that a lot of things r going to change. A lot of things that I WILL change lmao. From habits, all the way to fears. I wanna start fresh. Last new year’s eve was wasted in the army lmao. I was celebrating at the camp with my homies. At that time I hadn’t finished my A-levels, had a whole year in hell (army), and didn’t know what I wanted to do in my life. It was rough, legit. Speaking on that matter I don’t know how I survived all that shit. It’s pretty cool since I can overcome anything now. I’m unstoppable lmao. Amma score a 4 GPA in the second semester as well. Fingers crossed.

[unmitfaige]

Back

It’s been a while since the last time I wrote. I’m still alive, no worries, for the time-being at least. I just needed some time off from writing. That’s all. I’m going to continue my 100 days of productivity, I never back down from a challenge. I just need some time to assess some things. I just wanted to say that today was a great day. Got so many shit done and figured out. My homie (A) is finally getting some peace and stability. I’m happy for em. I still didn’t find a job yet. YET. Amma try ma best during next week.

[unmitfaige]

Days 64 & 65 outta hundred

25- 11- 2019

Sunday:

     Highlight of the day is that I got a second chance to adjust ma Marketing report. Since the class got cancelled, we had some time to sit with our tutor and ask about our report. He said, and I quote: (it’s barely a pass) - meaning that it was shit. I’m the top performing student in his class that’s y he said it elegantly lmao. We got a second chance to fix it though. I stayed there for 2 straight hours just rewriting shit and adding new information. We had a chit-chat later on - Ugh, he talks a lot.

Monday:

     It was a productive day. I got to study Marketing for a couple of hours at the end of the day. I’ve attended two classes, 2 hours long each. Ugh, so many new information and shit to learn and over-think about. That’s y I kinda hate studying new shit. I implement it to my daily life.

Anyways, I’m not in the mood to write about anything else except ma studies. I think that I need a vacation or some time-out. I need to clarify my mind and start organizing shit. My life is a mess rn. I need to solve many issues, so I guess a vacation might be really cool.

[unmitfaige]

Days 61, 62, and 63 outta 100

23- 11- 2019

Thursday:

     I’m chillin in the houuuse !!! Absolutely nothing. I went for a night walk at 1 in the morning. Got surprised that other people did it as well. It was a breezy night, temperature was about 16. It never happens in Dubai lmao. I relieved my nerves kinda. I was over-thinking about many shit for the whole damn day. I needed something to let go of my stress.

Friday:

    I visited ma grandma’s in the afternoon. Kinda was fun since we went to the garden that’s beside their house and had dinner. I played football for the first time in a very long damn time lmao. I’m still good though, I guess. We had fun, didn’t expect it at all. Every family got their own food and we shared it between us. Ugh, I really did need that shit lol.

Saturday:

     Highlight of the day was me over-thinking my mind out. I couldn’t keep my thoughts in one place so I had to write them down on a piece of paper. Sometimes I think that my brain is gonna explode and amma die from it. I probably have a high chance of me dying from that shit than natural death.

     My uncle’s wife had a kid yesterday and I got way too lazy to go see her. It was 11 in the evening, I guess that “I had university tmoro” might actually work. I love em. He’s been very cool with me since I was a little child. I might go and visit ma uncle later on. (I’ve never done anything like that ever).

[amxr90]

Childhood

Ammar…. you are a 19 years old young emirate boy who really hates the regulation, culture and how the system of his country works. I never had a normal child hood…. I was a 12 years old young boy who even didn’t know what was the definition of SUICIDE, who tried jumping from the roof top. If I knew then what I know now…..well it probably wouldn’t have change very much and it probably wouldn’t change very much because some times It doesn’t matter what you know….. what you feel just takes over. Imagine you staying there stuck in a narrow dark place of your own. Crying and heart broken. Why were you so sad, depressed and tried killing your self you may ask, well because my parents got an divorce and I was forced by our stupid law to live with an alcoholic cheater who would often enjoyed using physical force against his son for literary no reason, too living every 6 months with my aunties which they hated me by the way. You may wonder but didn’t you mentioned that you were living with your dad..well yes we had a home right before that asshole sold it and abandoned me to travel to his dream country which I call it a sex slave country ( Thailand) for almost 3 years. Back then I couldn’t see my mother……why??? because one I was underage so I had to live with my father and two because she was a female, YUP a FREAKING female. Unfortunately in Islam females have zero rights and my country is a Muslim country so yeahhh and lastly but not least I was constantly living from house to house. Finally, one of my aunts got feed up of me and literary at 7:03 pm kicked my 12 years old ass out of her house and I had no where to go or call. Your father??? Thailand obviously!!! By the way before my auntie had the balls kicking me out she called my father and got the confirmation. Lol amazing loving family I’ve got.        

TO BE CONTINUED 

[unmitfaige]

Heart-broken 😟

[unmitfaige]

Days 56 till 60 of productivity

20- 11- 2019

Saturday:

     Weekend. Ugh. Was bored as hell man. I went out with ma homies on Saturday, but that’s it. Nothing more. I stayed in ma house, went into full-gaming mode and did some reading as well. It was so boring that I couldn’t even remember.

Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday:

     Ugh, it was a marathon. On Sunday, I received my Marketing project, which was supposed to be given a week b4. It was due in two days. I had to write a marketing report that consists of 1500 words with references, do a presentation, do a marketing poster, and take a video of our presentation. OMG it was so fckn hard. I was stretched out to the limit. The thing is that I had a group that should’ve helped me. I’m stupid though, I like doing things on my own terms. I literally just relied on (A) only to supply me with the information to start writing. I’m not a team-worker at all. I’m good in communicating with others, but when it comes to something that will affect me, HOHOO, I rely on myself since I know that I’ve done everything possible to get the best outcome. That’s me. Anyways, I did everything in less than 48 hours. Due to our last member not doing anything, he messed up in the video presentation and made up waste 3 to 4 hours to just take a 10 mins video. Absurd. I don’t give a crap about my submission. I’ve put in the best of me in that time period. I just hope that we won’t fail lmao. It was kinda trash.

Wednesday:

     Ugh, feels so fckn good to be free. I missed this feeling lol. I spent the whole day doing absolutely nothing except chilling. Weather was so damn good that day that I took a long walk. Spent almost 8 hours on  my PC that day lmao.

[unmitfaige]

Day 55 outta Hundred

15th of November 2019

I’m happy. That’s all what it matters. It was a chilly day. Cold breeze. Drizzly weather. Such a perfect day. I learnt all about Rain-meter application today. Spent around 5 hours on it. Results r more than satisfying tho. It’s so damn worth it man. I did a bit of meditation as well. Uh, I feel so damn good. Went to ma fav coffee shop and ordered a classic black coffee. Mighty all mighty it was delicious. Life’s good. It’s all what matters.

[unmitfaige]

Days 53 & 54 outta 100

13th and 14th of November

Wednesday:

Hmmmm. what did I do on Wednesday? Can’t really remember. Well, if I don’t it means that it wasn’t that important I guess? Meh. All what I remember was me kicking (A)’s ass in Billiard and completing my Scientific Research. Casual day. Ohhhh, wait a second. I GOT MY CAR BACK!!! Just remembered.

Thursday:

It’s the start of the weekend boiiiizz. I had a single class - Managerial Accounting. After that, I drove from Dubai, to Sharjah, all the way to Ajman. Spent around 3 to 4 hours driving. Fuckin amazing though! Driving your car feels so damn good man. My pocket doesn’t tho. I kinda did pay around $1000 to fix it. Guess what? I don’t fckn care man. I got ma car back. I whipped (A)’s butt AGAIN and went with ma homies to the beach in the afternoon. It was a good day I guess. I need to work on ma studies in this weekend though. Gotta catch-up.

[unmitfaige]

Day 51 & 52 outta hundred

11th & 12th of November 2019

Monday:

Huh. How long would I need to get rid of cough n shit? Gosh, I literally stayed in my room for the whole day. Waste of time man. I’m still so exhausted from the marathon as well lmao. Guess that I took the right choice by staying at home. I did some research n shit, so it wasn’t that wasted. Other than that, I kept on gaming.

Tuesday:

Some good news at last. I’m going to receive my beautiful car tmoro. AT LAST man. (A) won’t have to pick me up every morning now. I got no special Uber driver now 🙄. I lost to em in Billiard btw, It’s 21-20 for (A) now. Ugh, amma need to practice on my own to beat the crap outta him. Anyways, am so glad that my car is going to be ready. However, am grieving since amma have to spend my savings on it 🥺.

I went to the Dutch embassy with ma university. Waste of time it was. The thing is though, I went with ma homies, so it wasn’t that bad really. Productivity, zero. Learned something new, absolutely not. The location was pretty cool tho.

[unmitfaige]

Day 49 outta 100 (almost the half lmao)

10th of November

     If u expected productivity then this ain’t ur post lol. I utterly didn’t do anything productive today. My body won’t move from yesterday and I suddenly got all sick and shit. Cough, running nose, and fever. Ugh, how can my day be any worse lmao. As soon as I said that, I lost an important certificate. AHHHH, impossible man.