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Blog Post #6 (AF AMER 112A UCLA)

This excerpt is 788words.

Since I didn't get the chance to talk much about my creative process in my rationale for the final project I figured I could focus less on traditional academic writing and more on the creative process that drives me as an artist. I thought this blog would be a better place to talk through the inspirations behind my project and how specific themes from the course shaped the story I ended up creating.

To be honest, I’ve always disliked writing essays (really just writing in general). I’ve already written more than enough this quarter, and the idea of producing another long academic paper made me feel exhausted before I even began. I didn’t have the motivation, I didn’t have a clear topic in mind, and I knew I’d have a hard time writing something that’s supposed to be lengthy as what was required of us. That’s why my “art major brain” immediately wanted to create a graphic novel instead. Drawing is where I feel most comfortable, and a graphic novel would let me tell a story visually which I felt would be very similar to making a film, but without needing actors or relying heavily on writing skills that I’m not confident in.

Unfortunately, the graphic novel idea didn’t fit the project guidelines, so I had to let it go. Since I was running out of time and already had a story idea taking shape for the graphic novel I could no longer work on, I decided to write it out anyway. I don’t consider it my best work, which is no surprise as again, I don't like to write.However I can admit, but the process of brainstorming the plot was surprisingly fun. (I also should note I don't plan on revisiting and revising the story either.)

Anyways a major influence I had came from another class I’m taking on demons, the uncanny, and fears in the ancient world. Learning how different cultures brought to life the supernatural, curses and what came after life on earth helped me imagine a character who is sort of caught between the unfamiliar expectations of a religious tradition he barely understands and the harsh reality of the life he already lives. In a way, my character was reflective of myself being someone who doesn’t know really anything about the church or religion, but still respecting others beliefs as it's still always around me. In my story the main character tries to participate in something he doesn’t fully understand and because of that he misuses it in ways that end up hurting the people he loves most.

At the same time, the content from this class also heavily shaped my creative direction. Our discussions about the Black Church, especially its portrayal during the blaxploitation era had really stuck with me. The way those films used the church as both a community’s strength and a setting for horror created a style of storytelling that I found really interesting. The Black Church is a recurring symbol in Black horror and it signifies a number of things. Protection, judgment, and much like in my demons class can also become a place where spirituality overlaps with the supernatural. Even though I didn’t grow up in the church or know much about it personally, seeing how often it showed up in the films and stories we analyzed made me curious about what it represents culturally and how it can serve as fertile ground for horror narratives. Though, I later realized after submitting that I made references that are specific to catholicism and black people are usually christian or baptist.

Either way those influences are what pushed me to build the unsettling atmosphere of my story around church related rituals like confession. I wanted to explore what it might feel like for someone who is unfamiliar with church traditions just like me to step into that world and misunderstand the rules in ways that have serious consequences. You can also see thai in Eve’s Bayou where Eve didn't quite understand the power spoken words hold in the ritual context. The confusion, fear, and pressure my character experiences are similar to the tension often seen in Black horror narratives that deal with religion. This idea that faith can guide you, but it can also expose you if you don’t know how to handle it.

In the end, even if my story isn’t perfect, it connects back to something we discussed repeatedly in class, which is monsters are born from collective/societal fears, and horror becomes a way to make sense of what truly doesn't make sense. My story’s conflict doesn’t come from the supernatural but from fear, guilt, and misunderstanding much like the characters we studied throughout the course.

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Blog Post #5 (AF AMER 112A UCLA)

This excerpt is 558 words

This week (week 7 I believe) I read two books and watched one film. The film we watched was beloved. I believe it was directed by Jonathan Demme. I’m not going to go too deep into Beloved because honestly, I didn’t really understand everything that was going on in the film. What really stood out to me though was how unexpectedly gory and just very  uncomfortable some scenes were. You might be like “well duh, it's a horror film.” but I bring up just because of what we had discussed in the section. We talked about whether that level of gore was actually necessary, and it was interesting because on one hand, people today are kind of desensitized to violent images. I mean, we see them everywhere in movies, games, online, literally everywhere. But on the other hand, for people like me who still find that kind of imagery really hard to look at, the discomfort you experience from watching the scene might be the whole point. It forces you to sit and think on the horror of what really happened instead of letting it get smoothed over or just absentmindedly tossed aside afterwards like we often would when we see gore like this in other forms of media. That part made sense to me even if a lot of the other themes were harder to follow. So instead of pretending that I understood all of Beloved, I’m going to focus more on the books I read until I give it a rewatch, because they were just a bit clearer to me

I’ll start with the Lake by Professor Due. This reminded me of like girl scout or school camping trips where we would live in a cabin and you would see all this greenery you don't see very often in southern california especially LA. The whole scene just feels like a horror movie waiting to happen and this book only worsened that fear because it pretty much came true. From my understanding, it’s about a teacher who goes to this peaceful lakeside spot to get her life together I think and prepare for the school year but that obviously didn’t end up happening because of the dreaded lake. The horror in this book really has a way of creeping up on you cause it's not like in movies where you get this BAM type of in your face jumpscare. It's more of a sinking realization that something is completely off and you really need to get out pronto but by the time you realize it was too late. In a way I feel like this way of installing fear into an audience is very reminiscent of trauma or like the past that you really wanna deal with showing up when you least wanted it to. It also reminds me of some film that I’ve been thinking about for the longest where they had a name for a monster which lived in the lake and some kids were told not to go in it but ended up missing because they messed around and found out when something came, grabbed them, and sunk them to the bottom of the lake. I couldn’t tell you what it was called but both the movie and the book have officially made me suspicious of any calm body of water. Thanks Professor Due!

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Blog Post #4 (AF AMER 112A UCLA)

This excerpt is 439 words

I wanted to start with the night of the living dead. As I first started watching the  movie it just felt like any other old time black and white horror film, that is until I got to the ending. I really didn't like how it ended if I’m being honest. It just felt like there was no way the gun happy white men couldn't tell he was an actual person by the way he was aiming the gun. Even if he wasn't, he was so far from them there wasn't anything he could do to them. 

On the other hand all Ben had to do was shout out "what's good" or something so they knew he wasn't a ghoul/zombie. I feel like him dying was such a waste after all of the rest of the effort he put into boarding the house, trying to protect everyone, watching the people he was fighting alongside die, and even arguing with the one other guy inside. He had made it to the very end with all odds against him even taking the role as a leader to try and get out of this horrific situation then it all went up in flames when he died in the end. 

After going to lecture and learning this wasn't just any old zombie story, it was reflective of its time and specifically when MLK was assassinated it felt even more horrific than it did originally. I would never have guessed that would have been the case or that Ben just coincidentally was a black person casted for this role. It also made me think about how different it was to a movie like Get Out where at the end we're thinking Rose is going to be saved when the police car comes. They will get out of the car and see Chris standing over her dying body and want to immediately attack Chris, but instead it's Chris who is saved by his TSA friend. A great surprise. In this movie I was thinking this is going to end super cute, super sweet, just as Get Out did with the people scouting the area saving Ben....but no. It seems in these movies where race is one of the larger themes at hand it's always only one side, one race that wins and the other let down. Very similar to how real life is unfortunately. Whether that's good or bad I wouldn't even know without watching the whole movie through, but I’m glad I was able to get some historical context from the lecture to better understand the political climate as this was being filmed.

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Blog Post #3 (AF AMER 112A UCLA)

This excerpt is 444 words

I remember watching Eve’s Bayou with my mom a loooong time ago and I probably didn’t understand much seeing as I didn’t remember anything but the characters faces. However upon watching it just recently I was impressed with just how beautiful the film looks even with the scrappy sort of feel it has from the quality. My interpretation of the film’s message would have to be that there are times we just really don't understand the pain and emotions being felt by those we love most. It reminds me of the concept surrounding the word sonder however, this movie was a reminder that we truly all lead uniquely complex and layered lives and you can’t always understand even those closest to us.

Not sure how I expected to understand anything as a kid watching this with how complex and layered it is, or why I was even watching this at all at my age, but still I really enjoyed it. I’m generally not a very big horror person either, but this class may just make me change my mind. Eve’s Bayou has also brought up another sub genre within horror (domestic horror) which I didn’t even know existed. 

All that aside, I know there are a lot of debates about what actually happened in the end, and honestly I’m not sure whether I believe the father had assaulted Cicely or not. What I do know is regardless of whether it happened or not, there is no reason he shouldn’t have been well aware of how his own daughter felt for him. Leading those inappropriate feeling’s on seeing as its double taboo, incest and pedophilia, it was wrong for him to entertain it at all. That's not even to mention the fact that you have a whole wife and aside from cheating on her emotionally with y’all’s daughter you’re cheating on her with all these other women as well and aren’t even able to keep your kids away from the shock of it all. You’ve taken away their innocence and honestly probably ruined their perception of what a happy home/relationship should look like. Seeing how much I despise Samuel Jackson’s character, I must admit he played it well.

On the contrary, my favorite character would’ve probably been Mozelle. Yes she also had shared some of the same issues as the father, however I still felt a strength and comfort from her wisdom and guidance that she had shared with Eve. She felt so unapologetically human and I think it was really her words and reflection that made me come to the conclusion that I did regarding the message of the story as a whole.

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Blog Post #2 (AF AMER 112A UCLA)

This excerpt is 453 words

This week after watching Us and going to discussion, I’ve been thinking about how it compares to Get Out. While both of these Jordan Peele films fall under “Black horror,” the two just felt oddly different to me. I just couldn't quite put my finger on it until going to discussion to talk about it with others. Like in Get Out the major themes presented to us mostly focused on racism and how society treats Black people. Basically how the people around us who define what is “normal”, interact with those categorized as “othered”. Us on the other hand, turns the camera back around and asks what happens when we become the problem ourselves. He quite literally makes us reflect on our own privileges or lack of as we see in even the very first scene of the movie where the girl walks through a mirror maze. 

As we continued on this discussion, comparing and contrasting the major differences in themes between the two, we kind of all agreed that Us for some reason just felt scarier, and more “entertaining” than Get Out did. When our TA asked why that might be, originally one of my classmates had said it's because Us has such stereotypical horror elements. LIke the whole monster, violence, breaking into the house, etc. And though I agreed to an extent, I had also thought well maybe in truth it's because not everybody can't relate to a story like Get Out where it plays on fears very specific to the black experience. No Shade of course.  For me what made Get Out less scary was that even though I’ve experienced discrimination like racism I couldn't relate to it as much as the play on privilege did in Us. I think that’s part of what made it feel scarier too. I mean I could in a way imagine myself in this movie especially seeing how many different characters it impacted. In the movie it seemed like nobody was safe, so why would I be an exception? Not to mention the way Us feels like anyone could relate because of just how "personal" it feels. This movie felt more scary to me not because of the violence or jump scares, but because it forces you to confront uncomfortable truths about privilege, guilt, and the parts of yourself you try to ignore. Us felt like a mirror, both literally and figuratively. It reflected not just fear, but a need for confrontation. While Get Out revealed how others can take away your control, Us asked what happens when you believed you had control all along and didn’t realize what sacrifices you were and what cost you paid to make it where you are at.

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Blog Post #1 (AF AMER 112A UCLA)

This excerpt is 636 words

I wasn’t exactly sure I had any particular expectation for the course coming into it. I knew that it was an African American Studies course, it fulfilled my upper-division requirements, and it involved watching horror movies, so I didn’t think much of what it is we might learn. However, I was pleasantly surprised.

Now I’ll admit I’ve only recently gotten into watching movies and films, so I had never watched a majority of the films that were listed under this course. When I finally got the chance to watch Get Out, I was mesmerized though. I was a bit spooked during certain parts (of course), but as an art form the film had my eyes glued to the screen. I come from an art background, so the visuals of course caught my eye first. The lighting, the suspense, the sound, even the composition of each frame. Everything just spoke to me in a way that truly drew me in. But as the movie continued, even coming from someone like me who knows absolutely nothing about film, could kind of catch on to some of those deep underlying messages.

I was also watching it with my mom, so I was able to talk about it with her while we kept finding things to pick apart like how certain characters felt “off” from the jump even before anything bad happened. The part that really stuck with me was the “Sunken Place.” Even though I didn’t completely understand everything the first time, that image of the main character sinking into darkness while still being aware really stayed with me. The scene just feels even more horrifying when I think back on it after learning what the “sunken place” refers to in lecture. Originally it felt similar to being trapped or silenced, like screaming but no one could hear you. My mom said it reminded her of how people sometimes feel in real life when they try to speak up but will just get ignored or talked over.

That scene made me realize that Get Out wasn’t just trying to scare those who watched it, it was trying to make you feel something deeper, something uncomfortable especially for black people, the audience which it targeted. I started to think about how horror can show real fears that Black people or anyone labeled as “the other” experience, just in a different form. The way the movie used something as simple as a cup of tea and a spoon to hypnotize someone it’s so subtle but also so terrifying. It’s like the danger wasn’t just there physically it was mentally playing mind games on you as well.

Something we talked about in the lecture that really stuck with me was when Jordan Peele mentioned how, in traditional horror movies, it’s usually the white character who ends up being this hero, the one who survives or saves everyone. In the case where the black person is the protagonist surrounded by another white case there would be one white person who wasn't considered this monster. But in Get Out, he wanted to flip that idea and show how unsettling it actually is when you realize that, in real life, that “hero” figure isn’t always there for Black people. Hearing that made me rethink the entire movie. It made me realize how powerful it was that Chris was the one to save himself, and how the movie forces the audience to confront that uncomfortable truth. I realized this movie isn’t just scary because of what’s happening on screen, but because it critiques real life.

This class has already taught way more about horror, and specifically black horror, than I knew before. I look forward to the rest of the class to come and learn more about the many ties which lie between film and society.