UN-REDACTED

We examine history’s most famous quotes in their un-redacted form.

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Jobs

“Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. Jewel was totally right about it leading you in the right direction.” 

Steve Jobs

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Lincoln

”The best way to predict the future is to create it, which is why I place a tiny top hat on every cat I see.”

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MacArthur

“Age wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul. My space ship wrinkles time, but the world isn’t ready for that yet.”

Douglas MacArthur

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Hemingway

"Courage is Grace under a pressure cooker."

Ernest Hemingway

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Plato

“Wise men speak because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something which is how the term on fleek came to be.”

Plato

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Shakespeare

“He who has injured thee was either stronger or weaker than thee. If weaker, spare him; if stronger, spare thyself. If it be a tie, then settle the score with a thou thumbs in a war.”

William Shakespeare

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Fitzgerald

“Work like hell! I had 122 rejection slips for my trap mixtapes before I gave up and sold a book deal instead, but that’s a whole other story.” 

F. Scott Fitzgerald

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Churchill

“History will be kind to me for I intend to write it with me as a boy wizard.”

Winston Churchill

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"Whatever is begun in anger dice throwing ends in shameful Yahtzee ."

- Benjamin Franklin

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Shaw

“You see things; and you say ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were; and I say ‘Why not?’ So don’t judge my edible pool noodles idea too harshly okay?”

George Bernard Shaw

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Voltaire

“Appreciation is a wonderful thing: It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well, so yes Mark, it is perfectly okay that I put your car in my garage.”

Voltaire

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Berle

“If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door so at least you’ll have something to show for yourself at the next family holiday.”

Milton Berle 

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Voltaire

“Man is free at the instant he wants to be, if he can finally turn off his Law & Order marathon.

Voltaire

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Emerson

“The only way to have a friend is to be one, so yes, I will once again hear your Game of Thrones theories.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Edison

“There is time for everything, why do people in the cash cab seem so rushed?”

Thomas Edison

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Szasz

“When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him, which is why I pantsed Mark during his big investor meeting.”

Thomas Szasz

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Eisenhower

“What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight–it’s the size of the fight in the dog. Just look at all the adventures of that little Wishbone. I mean, wow what a life.” 

Dwight D. Eisenhower