Jade Lynns take .

Walk with me thru my twenties 🪲 🦆🍄🌞✨ 🪼🫧🐚🪐

[unregulatedgirl]

Welcome to my blog

"Walk with me thru my twenties"

My name is Jade, and I'm 20 years old. I'm diagnosed with Borderline personality disorder, and this blog is a place for me to document my journey through this disorder. Living with BPD has shaped many parts of my life, but it doesn't define who I am. Here is the messy, the breakthroughs, the setbacks, and everything in between

I’m writing about healing, self-discovery, relationships, trauma, mental health, and learning how to build a life that feels peaceful instead of chaotic. Some posts will be deeply personal, while others will simply be reflections or lessons I’ve learned along the way.

If you’ve ever felt misunderstood, overwhelmed by your emotions, or like you’re trying to figure out who you are, I hope you find something here that reminds you you’re not alone. And if you’re here just to better understand someone who struggles with mental health, I hope this gives you a window into an experience that often goes unseen.

This isn’t a blog about having all the answers. It’s about being honest, growing one day at a time, and documenting the journey as it unfolds. I’m glad you’re here.

[unregulatedgirl]

I think we would all be a little happier if we stopped to admire the ecosystem and watch some insects every once in a while 🦆🍄🪼🌞🪲🫧

[unregulatedgirl]

Would have never know this was the falls🤯🍄🫧🪲🦆🌞

[unregulatedgirl]

A Beautiful Hilly Hiking Trail

For most of my time here on Earth, I've looked at life as just a race to the next great day. Now, reflecting back, I know it was because, to me, only good days meant I was progressing through life. Now I understand that every day there is progression. Regardless of whether it was good or bad, you still learned something. You probably still saw something beautiful or heard something meaningful. You may have even had a laugh or two. As long as you're getting up and doing what you need to do regardless, it's progression.

So, like I was saying, most of my time here I've looked at life as just a race to the next great day. How I've shifted my perspective is that instead, I look at life like a beautiful, hilly hiking trail in a forest. Some days through this hike will be smooth and beautiful; others will be rough and boring. Some days may start out rough and hilly, but by the end of the day, there's a beautiful sunset to look at. Then others start out easy and beautiful and end rainy and sad. But at the end of the day, it's still a beautiful, hilly hiking trail, and no matter what part of it you're on, it will always be that.

[unregulatedgirl]

July 6th 26’ ✨🫧🪲🪐💋

[unregulatedgirl]

My favorite flics of June 26’ ✨🪲🌞🫶🏻

[unregulatedgirl]

Loving You, But Letting You Go

A Reflection on What Detachment Meant for Me

A lot of people think detachment simply means not caring, but that isn't the case at all. In fact, it's quite the opposite.

For me, detachment became the understanding that nothing in this world truly belongs to me, not even the skin I walk in. Everything is temporary. Sometimes, the tighter we try to hold on, the more we push peace further away. I used to believe that loving someone meant holding on no matter what. That if I loved them enough, waited long enough, or abandoned enough of myself, eventually things would change. Detachment isn't unloving someone. It's recognizing that you can love someone and understand that your two paths need to part so you can both move on with your lives, instead of exhausting yourself waiting for change when your cycles have shown you, time and time again, that things will not change.

Detachment Sleep Affirmations

The biggest thing that helped me was detachment sleep affirmation videos [which I will link to this post]. Over the past two months, I've been experimenting with sleep affirmations, and I've genuinely noticed a shift in my anxious attachment patterns and the way I think. I first heard of sleep affirmations on TikTok, and I thought back to when I used to listen to horror stories before bed and often found myself having crazy nightmares brought on by the horror stories, so I decided to try the affirmations, only to see a change in my behavior and mood within just 4 nights.

I release the urge to overthink, overgive.

I am allowed to rest without checking, fixing, or proving anything.

I let go of the need for constant reassurance. I reassure myself.

I no longer abandon myself to be chosen by others.

The right connection will not require me to shrink or chase. I breathe deeply and let go of control.

I am no longer available for anxiety disguised as chemistry.

These are a few powerful affirmations that focus on anxious attachment.

Sleep affirmations reportedly help reduce rumination before bed, lower stress by shifting attention, create a calming bedtime routine, and reinforce personal values and goals. Scientific evidence does not support claims that sleep affirmations instantly rewrite your subconscious, manifest money or relationships through sleep alone, or change your personality without active effort while awake.

Now it's what you do with this information that will lead to an impact on your life. Others can plant seeds; only you can do the work that leads to your success.

[unregulatedgirl]

That is the story, and I wrote it.

I'm not afraid to admit I slipped up on you; this time it was different, though. This time, I taught myself to detach and ultimately choose myself. I carefully reflected on our time together and recognized the exhausting highs and lows that could last minutes, hours, or sometimes even days. After spending a weekend together and observing this pattern up close, I sat up at 2 a.m., tears in my eyes while he slept next to me, and I decided this wasn't gonna be my life anymore. I was holding on to an idea, to a hope, a wish, that we could change and be better, even though our patterns had shown us over and over again that we wouldn't. I had to look at the now instead of what could be, and I stood up on my own two feet and said my piece of exactly that. I choose me, I accept me, and most importantly, I love me.  

   Blog on detachment coming soon…. <3

[unregulatedgirl]

To the little girl in me who never understood why you felt so unimportant. I’m going to give you everything you’ll ever need and want. I’m going to set you up to stand on your own two feet. I will be the parent you so desperately needed and I promise you can call on me. I’m so proud of you for making it thru the cards we were dealt. I’m here to be the hero you always begged would save you. I’m here now and I’m never looking back. I love you.

[unregulatedgirl]

Do it regardless.

Over these past few weeks, I've been on an emotional rollercoaster. Every day waking up was unknown, was I gonna wake up sad, or angry, or even still tired? Many days, I didn't want to get up, and in the first few, I didn't get up. I laid there in my misery. But as days went on, I started to build a routine. I had realized I couldn't lie there forever. I once heard someone say, "Don't let this bed be your grave; get up." So I got up, and I've been going ever since. Tired, still showed up. Sad, went with tears in my eyes and a tissue in hand. Scared, coached breathing, but still moving. So day by day I keep going, some days are light and breezy, others are heavy and lonely, but regardless, I will have my turmeric tea in the morning, do my stretches, and take care of myself because at the top of the hill I'll be glad I never stopped.

[unregulatedgirl]

Accepting what we cannot control.

I used to think that if I tried harder, I would get what I wanted, but more often than not, external factors were completely out of my control. You can scream, you can cry, you can break things, but acceptance is the only way through, because it's the doorway to reclaiming your own peace and power. In this piece, I'm going to speak about how in those moments of denial, or emotion, you still have yourself, your breath, your thoughts, and your choices. No, you can't choose the outcome of the story, but you can choose how you react.

If I have an interaction that was unpleasant or uncomfortable, my brain often replays this interaction. When I find myself feeding into it or wishing it had gone differently, I stop and ask myself, "Am I arguing with something that already happened?" I may sit back and fully replay the story one more time before telling myself this is what happened, this is my reality. I allow myself to let go of "what could have been" and remind myself that I cannot control the past, but instead how I respond moving forward.

After I've named the reality, I bring myself back to the present moment through my breath. The 5-finger breathing method is my go-to. Hold your hand in front of your face, palm outwards, take your index finger from your opposite hand, and breathe in through your nose while tracing up your pinky finger with your index finger, then, while tracing your pinky finger back down, breathe out of your mouth. Repeat this with every finger until you get to your thumb, and if you need another go around, trace your hand going the opposite direction. As I trace each finger, a sense of calm rolls over my body. This method reminds me that I always have the ability to come back to myself

The more I practice accepting the things I cannot change, the more I understand peace is not something I find outside of myself, but something I create within myself. No acceptance does not erase sadness; I still grieve things I wanted to be, but acceptance lets you feel the emotions without letting them consume you. Maybe healing is not becoming someone new, but maybe it's returning to yourself after spending so long losing pieces of who I was trying to earn love.

As time goes on, I return to my breath, to this practice, knowing that every time I do, I'm choosing myself again.

[unregulatedgirl]

An addiction to intensity.

The two types of intensity that I’m going to speak about are healthy intensity and unhealthy intensity in relationships.

Healthy intensity consists of feeling excited and safe. You can think clearly and be yourself. Disagreements may arise but they don’t threaten the relationship. Affection is consistent, you feel more grounded over time. You maintain your identity, friendships, and goals. Communication brings clarity, boundaries are respected, intimacy grows steadily. you can feel chosen without constantly proving yourself.

Unhealthy intensity consists of feeling euphoric then terrified, every conflict feels like abandonment, punishment, or the end. You become obsessed, anxious, hypervigilant, or emotionally out of control. Affection is unpredictable or conditional. You feel emotionally exhausted over time. The relationship becomes your entire emotional world, Communication leaves you confused, Boundaries trigger guilt, fear, or retaliation. The relationship escalates very quickly. You constantly feel the need to “earn” love.

An addiction to unhealthy intensity can stem from a childhood that was very unhealthily intense. You grew up in chaos and now choose it because it’s what feels familiar to you and healthy intensity can seem boring because peace feels boring to a person who’s only ever known chaos.

One things to take away from this is intensity and love are two different feelings and just because something is emotionally intense doesn’t mean that it is love. Love is safe. Real love doesn’t rely on instability to feel real.

[unregulatedgirl]

unconditional love.

May 22nd 2026. I'm sitting in the living room when I scroll onto a video talking about unconditional love. Which I reflected on, and that is the only love I know how to give. But I learned today that unconditional love is not meant for romantic relationships, but rather from a parental figure or from yourself. When you give unconditional love to your romantic partner who is unable or unwilling to reciprocate. It create a power dynamic. That grown person is not going to deny this unconditional love, especially when they have no one else around that is willing to deal with there bullshit. When unconditional love is introduced into a romantic relationship, It can be harmful and toxic when it removes boundaries. So instead of trying to get or give that unconditional love to a romantic partner, give it to yourself. I heard a quote the other day, and it was something like this: "You don't lose healthy companions by loving yourself, you lose them by not loving yourself." Meaning you will never lose what's meant for you by doing what's best for you, so if you lose it, don't trip; it wasn't aligned.

[unregulatedgirl]

Book review

Hello! today I wanted to take some time to write a review on a book I read a couple months ago.

Lock the doors by Vincent Ralph is a young adult thriller. Lock the doors is about a teenage boy named Tom who hasn't had the best life. His father is not around, His mother is not very good at choosing men to be with and because of that its caused tom to see a lot he shouldn't have from a young age. Fast forward into Toms teenage years his mom surprisingly has found a good man to be with named Jay who has a daughter named Nia. They move into toms mothers dream home, but Tom has found something odd about this house. There's holes in the bedroom door as if there were locks on it and I know what you're thinking "its just a lock" but the thing about these locks was that they were on the outside of the door. Kind of like whoever put these locks here was locking someone or something in. Not only were they on his door they were also on his step sister Nia's door. The room right next to his. His mom and step dad told him not to worry he is just over thinking it which is not an unusual thing for Tom. So he try's to forget and attempts to go to sleep in there new home. But all he can think about are those holes. The next day at school Tom is greeted by the principal, a women, and, a girl who looks his age. This women though, she looks oddly familiar. Then it comes to Tom, she's the women from the open house when they came to look at his now new home. The Principal asks Tom if he could show them around the school, Tom agrees. The women interduces the girl as her daughter Amy. But there was something weird about her, she looked so sad and broken. Tom gives them the tour and goes to class. thinking about how sad Amy looked. Then tom remembered If that was the women who lived in the house and Amy was her daughter Amy must know about the holes in the doors. The next day Tom gets to school and is told but guidance that he will be Amy's buddy to help her get used to the new school. Tom is confused. There's no way the school just randomly assigned me as her buddy. she had to have requested this. A hyper Amy walks up to a confused Tom. "well I guess you're my buddy" she says. "you think I could get another tour?" she asks Tom. I think you should ask for another buddy Tom says to Amy, and walks away as Amy asks why. During class all tom can think about is Amy. She is kind of like a song you hear first thing in the morning and cant get out of your head all day. Tom keeps thinking about those holes too. So at break he decides to go back up to Amy and give her a tour. He know if he wants to know about the holes in the doors he has to get Amy to trust him. Eventually Tom finds out that the holes aren't the weirdest part. Amy's family has only moved a cross the street. "don't people usually move for a new beginning" he thinks to himself. I have to figure out was going on. I have so many questions. What is with these holes in the doors? and why would Amy's family move just a cross the street? Tom has no clue but he does know that if he ever wants to know he is gonna have to get close to Amy to find out, and oh boy does Tom not know what he is in for.

This book is great if you are really into mysterious drama. The book has 319 pages and for me was a particularly fast read. I would definitely rate this book 4 stars out of 5. Very easy to get into, honestly couldn't take my nose out of it. If you'd like to know the mystery behind the holes in the doors you can order this book of amazon. Here is the link: https://www.amazon.com/Lock-Doors-Vincent-Ralph/dp/1728231892/ref=asc_df_1728231892/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=564764382853&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=16768874699341899012&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9058761&hvtargid=pla-1635715833506&psc=1