Authenticity is the color purple,
you and I each of us a different shade altogether,
When merged with authenticity, we all come out a little different than one another.
The portrayed meaning of what authenticity is and how it looks, doesn't matter.
As long as we stay true to ourselves, no matter how it may manifest on you, on me.
In this reading, I want to talk about your version of authenticity and what it means to you. I hope it helps. ♡
For this pile, I sense early responsibilities were a part of growing up.
The little man symbolizing some sort of masculine figure with small and tricky ego that got triggered easily.
Living on eggshells as not to offend or rile up the little man with sensitive ego.
I see, some sort of religion, in this case, religion symbolic to values and ethics not necessarily about gods or faith.
Being non-existent, the gore'ish sight of live stocks being butchered, but the distant portrait of a herbivore dinosaur that is now extinct somehow intuitively suggests some sort of family values or traditional ethics losing and fading away.
And your authentic self would mean, getting in touch with your first nature.
We human beings have millions of nature within us, like a closet full of clothes.
As we are born naked, literally.
We look at the giant closet full of selves, and see this one particular self that we like and so we choose to wear it, embody it.
But unfortunately, the early audience to whom we twirl around for, trying to show our choice of self, when rejects that self or dismisses it by declaring it unfit for the theme of the world.
We sadly put back our first chosen self and then go through the closet, cut apart some selves and mutate it into becoming something that is 'fit' for this world.
And in your case, I think you crafted a self, out of many selves of yours, that is self reliant, independent, mature, empowered and fiery.
Something that reflected back to that little ego'ed man, his ownself and making them comfortable seeing you.
And handling the chaos of your surrounding by becoming what the chaos needs.
So this might have been your reoccurring theme, you seeking unconsciously people who are chaotic so a self of yours, that you were allowed to be, can manifest into reality.
We are people for whom a blank mind with no sense of self is the most terrifying thing second to death.
And as we are a child, if we are not made aware of our own autonomy, this self sustaining nature of ours that can create a self without anyone's input or a dynamic dictating it.
We believe that a dynamic must exist for us to exist.
So you who believes being mature, responsible, cleaning up after someone else is what you are, without a chaotic person or chaos around, that self can't manifest itself.
Such is why you seek such circumstances where you have to be the organized, reliable one.
But now the time has come, for you to embody your first choice of self.
The peaceful, the calm, the self composed and unaffected by people or surrounding, this innocently self absorbed, head in the clouds, self of yours.
Introverted to the core, yet so endearing and thoughtful.
This self, this self that you had to put behind.
Now, you are in a place or someone who can create that space, to embody it again.
I love that your energy here is of someone who doesn't meddle in people's affairs, very self absorbed in an endearing way.
The kind of person that wouldn't think too much of someone's slip and fall, or most embarrassing nightmare.
The kind of person, you would hope to stutter in front of, or fall in front of.
Because they are too in their own world to care or judge.
I think your first choice of self, was this very endearing introverted figure.
Bookish, nerdish, full of hobbies and interests and quiet and reserved.
But there are these contradicting aspects of you that is completely opposite to that first nature of yours.
Anger, aggression, go-getter, ambitious, hot-headed, etc.
And I think that self is also very much you, that you crafted to survive and sustain security, but now it's time to reconnect with the first self of yours.
A room where you are, with bunch of others.
And the room is filled with things valuable to you, and there is this open door, always tempting your inner most desires, your feet ticklish, and impatient to walk out, freely.
But just as you are about to head out, people break stuff, cause a mess, bunch of loud noises and things shattering and something in you gets triggered into turning back to that source of chaos and cleaning up after them.
And you clean, and clean and clean and when everything's done, you look at the door again and just as you are about to leave, things starts breaking again.
Realize where you are holding yourself back.
Is it because if you walk out that chaotic room, you will have nomore circumstances or people's dynamic to have a self of yours?
Your authenticity, your definition of it is becoming everything your father or mother wasn't, your home wasn't.
Your version of authenticity is you going for a walk, with no destination in head, just out that damn room and people.
And taking a walk where you are there alone with yourself and your happy lungs that is breathless for a good reason this time.
You are like a drop of dew that fell from a drenched leaf, in a violent and fast paced river.
But your fate had always been to be still and calm.
So this whole journey of yours had been, you crashing into stones, going here there and everywhere, getting pulled by the river's force.
But I see, the lands collaborating with your needs and ending the steep carves that further extends the river's journey.
There is a hollow pit, a giant and round end, where all the aggressive river that you have been flowing fast with, gets poured into.
And becomes a still lake, where you will live after many harsh speeds and forced pace, calmly.
So this purple authenticity when merges with your own unique shade,
This is what it transforms into.
I also am picking up the white rabbit and the little dog with furs that looks eeriely pinkish, as though the blood has tainted their pale form.
The rabbit symbolizing some sort of feminine figure, her pale fur with eyes all pinkish.
Because in this whole art, the color red is very significant.
And I like how the girl has her shoes red and so her hair clips.
As though the ground or the roof is bloodied and she knows that wearing the color red is the best choice to not have something of yours ruined.
Unhygienic, reckless, and very much unconcerned of wellbeing.
The whole room is, and all the industrial smoke, suggesting all the waters near are already tainted, while the only clean looking waters being in the portrait of that giant herbivores dinosaur.
Suggesting goodness and wellbeing growing extinct somehow.
If I may speak with pure unfiltered intuitions, I would say that the household somehow was a mess, red hinting of something violent or toxic.
It reminds me of calm grey paintings where the color red when dabbed with mindfulness and limit, accentuates the craft but when smeared recklessly, ruins it all.
And I think something was way overboard here.
Anger, being the first suspect of mine.
And the eerie forced smile of the bunny, but her pale furs kinda hints her purity that is distorting out of fear.
When red meets dark shades, it further grows scarlet and gore'ishly bloody but when red meets pale colors like white, it turns into a subtle pink.
Suggesting her form of pure nature being slowly swallowed and infected by the surrounding.
And in this art, I noticed how the little man is dressed prim and proper, and the bunny is all messy, getting her hands dirty.
As if she was made to do everything around, and the little man pretending to be above it all.
We see this sort of dynamic a lot in Asian and even western countries, and when I say this, I can literally see Chinese characters in bunch of sausages.
Maybe you are from that part of the world.
Where a feminine figure was thought to be doing everything around the house.
And I see here that it was affecting this particular figure.
Maybe you moved out around the age of 21 or your teen years but something in you still seeks the same environments you were raised in.
People who are responsible and self reliant, unsettles you.
Because with those people, your usual reliable, mature, organized self cannot manifest itself.
With them, you don't know who you are or what to be.
With chaotic people, its easy, you become organized.
With unreliable people, its easy, you become reliable.
But with people who are none of that, you don't know what you are.
Places like Greece and Asian countries are coming to mind.
You could be from around there.
This introverted and in your own world self that you were, at the very beginning, your first ever choice in self and nature.
Cannot ever come to flourish in chaotic environments.
You have to choose your surroundings well.
And be brave to have this blank feeling within you, that comes from stepping into a new self that you are not used to.
With people who are organized, self-reliant, and responsible.
You know what you can be?
With noone to coddle or raise or take care of.
You will have time for your own inner hobbies.
Like a monk wanting to pursue enlightenment yet being unfortunate enough to have been placed in a circle where everything keeps on crashing down.
In a place like that, no monk ever gets to pursue his inner hobbies of peace and clarity.
But when the monk finally changes his location, his place, and surroundings, he gets to have the safe space to close his eyes and indulge in a deep meditation, which he couldn't do before.
Just like that, go for it!
All unfamiliar yet, kind to your self.
And don't feel hopeless and shame for having been something else than your 'authentic self', don't take it as a waste of your time.
Because nomatter who and what you had to become inorder to survive, you might have been influenced by outside sources and not your own preferences but still, it is you, it will always be you.
Everyone has their own closet full of selves.
And no one can grab the pieces in your closet, neither can you ever grab theirs.
We are left here to use only our own materials.
So, the figure you grew up around might have made you believe being just like them, aggressive, and too much of a hothead is a way to not trigger them.
And you might have went to your closet full of selves, trying to find a self that is exactly like that small person, upon not finding any.
You probably grabbed ahold of your assured self, empowered self, bold self, passionate self, and mashed it together, crafting aggression out of it, and you might have worn them.
But nevertheless, they are you.
And now it is time to wear and embody a self that you want and prefer.
Sometimes the world is like a greedy leech, latching onto your back and giving you ideas, like an annoying person we all know, with whom we can not ever go to a supermarket with, because of them constantly whispering to you, 'you need that, get that, get this.' When we know its actually them who wants it but is making us get it for them in lucrative ways.
So those years, from all your befores, think of them as training years.
The obligated actions of you putting behind your authentic self, which means your chosen self, and wearing a self that you had to.
Think of those, as you first trying on your chosen authentic self, but somehow it being a bit loose or tight, so all those years where you were not your authentic self, was some sort of muscle or weight training, for you to fit into your authenticity later.
Now, your training season is over.
I hear your authenticity will fit you perfectly well now.
You little herbivores dino born in a world full of T-rexes.
You sweet little introverted thing.
In this pile, I see an idealistic roof hovering over your head constantly.
The 'be good' portrait suggesting some sort of values you were raised on.
When we hear the phrase 'be good.' We think it has only one context, that is, be a good kid, well behaved and golden.
But it has many underlying faces, some people's 'be good' meant academic excellence, and some people's 'be good' meant moral obligations and ethical standards, some people's 'be good' meant never displease me, make me look good by remaining eeriely poised and well behaved for a child, etc etc.
And I think in this pile, the 'be good' meant some sort of strict way of being that would sustain this certain image your guardians were aiming for.
And I get reminded of the movie fleabag, haven't watched it but a scene from it sticks out where the girl keeps looking at the invisible camera and keeps talking to it , weirding out the guy next to her.
And somehow I feel like you were that weirded out child within your family.
You noticed young, although as a kid, context and comprehension lives far.
We can still pick up hints through energies and vibes.
I think when you were young you had this raw sense of self, you behaved as though you were inside life not a stage or a studio.
But you would notice your guardians who talked to you, as though millions of imaginary onlookers and audiences inside their head were witnessing them speak, performing every interactions.
You would feel like that guy from the movie fleabag, getting weirded out, and getting confused as to why, even when you were one on one bonding with them, it felt like millions of others were also present.
This stage like life where everyone was performing 24/7 wired your authentic self into expressing itself performatively.
Your authentic self is everything you are at this very moment, and some unexplored traits such as curiosity and adventurous nature, but it's like putting a person on the spot, his usual comment about the weather when talking becomes a performance when he is pushed into a stage and made to repeat the same mundane comments about the weather he made before.
I think just like that, you were put on the spot and had no choice but to turn your authentic self into a script itself.
I think a large part of your life has been denial of your own hardship and humane struggles.
There is this empowered spirit in you that despises to be victimized and hates to ever call yourself a victim, which is a very good thing but somehow it has gone overboard and you have reached a point where this empowered perception of yourself has somehow dehumanized your experiences in life.
Like a proud dragon who is a giant in strength and fire, burning villages and swallowing people.
The dragon thinks himself to be the one who might make someone a victim but himself is never one.
And such empowered pride blinds even the others, as everyone outside of him also thinks the same as him.
'Its a dragon, it can never feel pain or feel struggles.'
And for many times, this will feel validating because with this narration vulnerability cannot bloom and you feel invincible but, its a form of kindness, a form of grace that the universe's weaves into your existence.
Like having this one person or group that perceives the dragon to be the victim, being persecuted by all, with bows and arrows, constantly struck by swords sharp and ruthless...
These victimizing perception is very necessary to humanize oneself.
But you seem to lack that or are heavily reluctant to ever let yourself be humanize that way.
I see this clean and polished, color coordinated room in this art, symbolizing some sort of proper upbringing and the contrasting toxicity that the media portrays in more of a dramatic and harsh ways, like breaking glasses, messy rooms, violent parent, cussing and cursing each other's name and existence, etc etc.
And I think you who think trauma is either that or nothing, dismisses your own humane struggles.
It might not have been in such harsh extent as the TV series of law and order shows but nevertheless it was hard.
Unlike pile 1, your pile has this suffocating feeling.
Pile 1 was too free, so much so that no sense of restraint and poise or shame could contain the violence in limit.
But yours have this rigid, suffocating sense of poise.
Where your guardians would never express themselves in such free ways, there was in them this heavy weight, always too careful, too occupied with how they appear to ever yell at you or scream things that they truly think or feel.
Sometimes you might have even dreamed of seeing them lose their composure because for you, even that chaotic violence would have felt such a relief, to finally see your guardians see as humans and feel safe being one yourself.
In this art, everyone is facing us, kinda like a camera.
And it looks like their entire space is inside a camera's frame.
I get this example of a person first setting up a camera, putting it in 10 sec mode and gathering their family into the frame, and as the photo's printed out, they all gather to look at it and there they realize inside that frame they look the most perfect and to escape life's vast frame where every angle is out for all to see, they begin living inside the camera's frame only.
And your authentic self is like the coming of age adventure movies, where a child turns 16 and declares to his guardian, 'I'm going for an adventure!' and they would respond, 'alright. Good luck and have fun!'
But yours, unfortunately was not the case, you couldn't say that to your guardians because the response would have not been the same.
Your authenticity means you standing up from that photo posing chair and walking out the picture frame and living.
And it has become your habit, it is not going to be easy to leave that place.
We are people who have in us, needs and yours are distorted and codependent on your environment.
You know when people say they yearn for validation, sometimes its not simple like that.
If the person doesn't have a distorted sense of self, he or she will need something without having this fixated dependence on a particular source.
You want to be validated for your accomplishments yet you have in your head a fixation to a source, only that can fulfill, except that, nomatter if the entire crowds on this giant earth says I'm successful, it won't hit the spot, like the particular source we have chosen our fulfillment to be.
You know you are like a cup, empty, and the world that is 70 percent water, abundance with things you need and want, yet unfortunately the water that first met you was somehow distorted and had this possessive and suffocating dependence on you, they calculated the amount of fulfillment they gave you and the amount of deprivation, to plant the same dependent distortion in you with them. So now, you are this little cup, with water all around, fixated on the first drops, codependent and isolated.
Refusing every other waters if its not the ones you are dependent on.
And I think this is a crucial part why you feel very hesitant and uncomfortable leaving the nest.
Children usually have trouble doing things that their parents have made clear, upsets them, because either they are financially dependent on them or they are emotionally dependent.
In your case I don't think its a financial thing.
It's more of this codependent bond where your internal needs only recognizes them to be your one and only source of fulfillment.
It's like you are in a desert and you have this hyperfixation on sparkling water.
You finally find, out of God's grace, a little puddle of blue water, and even then, you dont take a sip because for you, it's Fiji water or nothing.
There is a world outside the frame you are posing inside.
You cheeky little thing, adventurous and curious to your bones.
Your feet aches to walk a mile, a mile that has scenarios to offer that are not what you are surrounded in.
A bon voyage with exhilarating exploration of things you have never seen or felt before.
But you are surprisingly timid, when it comes to your capabilities outside that range you are used to living in.
Your confidence is like a mobile network that can only work in the country that it was built around.
Your range, is limited, but the confidence in that limited range is vast.
And you can outstretch what you are used to, with your natural traits such as curiosity and a sense of adventure.
I don't want to hurry you into change, no that is not my intention.
My words that triggers awake an awareness in you, I want that to be patient with you.
Sometimes some awareness pushes you too hard into changing, makes you feel like if you do not, you are ruined or things are ruined.
Take your time, ponder and melt your poise in this puddle of awareness.
Think, think and feel, here and there.
Acknowledge your own limitations and restrictions.
And how awful it makes you feel.
One more example I am getting is of a prince, born out of two great figures who have this tendency to keep their offspring on edge, the 'I have to earn their goodwill, I have to put on a show to receive applause' kind of push and pull tactic, where the children have to live trying to impress or win an approval by showing their value but toxicly enough, each time the child proves their worth and as their value grows, the more restraints the parents put.
The young prince who was given this lenient form of restriction when young, just out of concern, 'you may explore all of the castle, but never outside.'
And for a small prince, the huge castle became an adventure, but as the unfortunate tactic of 'proving your worth.' comes to life, the prince works hard and studies long nights, into proving his value, more and more than before.
As the applauds come on, and a little giddy feeling of pride fills the prince.
The whole castle shrinks into, 'you may now only explore the libraries, or your chambers.'
As the prince's values grow, so does his restriction.
Yet the poor prince who feels the need of validation that he believes can be received only through the king and queen's words, cannot stop chasing more value, even though he knows, each time he is to become more valuable, he is to lose an acre of his little freedom, again.
Until one day, there will be nothing left.
This is your cycle, the reoccurring theme of your humane experience.
The dilemma, should I stop chasing approval and lose this ambitious spark that has been the main stream of confidence in me and gain freedom out of their disapproval.
Or should I just keep on earning more and more praise and streams of confidence and lose my adventure?
It's terrifying isn't it?
There is no, one above the other here.
Both matters and should matter.
It's sad and somehow not an easy context we can be openly mad about.
If a father who feels this sad sense of 'need to be needed' and the only way he feels needed is when you bring to him a tight container that you can't open.
That father with a little security in him, will open that jar for you and never tell you, that in this world many many many others have hands as strong as his, strong enough to open many many jars for you.
Instead, he will be quiet and let the codependency bloom between you and him, nobody wants to feel replaceable. Nobody.
And some parents think, being the only one for us and feeding us that idea, will keep us into forever needing them.
Which is sad to them and for us.
Don't be angry, that is not what I want you to feel for your surroundings.
Because that is not how you want to go about.
Just see them humanely and let yourself be liberated from this cycle of putting people on a pedestal or showing them a pedestal and demanding them to meet it.
When you see your loved ones, in humane light.
It will be easier for you to grant yourself some grace.
One day, we will have children of our own and this subject of good parenting, I want us to approach this not to one up our parents or show them how its done, but in a way, doing their childhood a justice, because it must have been hard to be raised into such belief holding person where they had to make us dependent on them...
To make our children, into a father or mother who can tell their children, I can open this jar for you, and so can others.
I can nurture you and so can your friends.
I can validate you, so can the crowd.
It was not chaos you grew up in, it was suffocation.
Like you were born inside a running reality show where your mom and dad were a character in, being so fixated in acing their roles that you missed out on their most authentic portrayal of a parent.
You missed out on the one on one intimacy, the bond where each conversation feels like an immersing tennis match, with noone around.
Just you two going back and forth.
It's going to be alright.
My words, take them as a manifested form of grace by the universe, this narration where I speak of you, as a sad and lonely being.
Even though you prefer the ones where you are the empowered one.
You endear the ones you surround yourself with, you cherish the place inside the frame and its okay to have the contrasting emotion of also wanting to leave and venture out.
'The more a prop inside a set becomes significant, the more permanent its place becomes.' So much so without it, the picture will not be complete.
I think you are someone who likes not the feeling of being home but returning home.
There's a difference right?
When you have the autonomy to leave and explore, that is when returning home feels beautiful.
You want to return home, but that requires you leaving.
So take your time and grow into a person that can function even out their usual range.
A sim that has network even outside the country.
For this pile, I sense the ongoing theme of your life's arc had been ostrasization and being misunderstood 'deliberately.'
It's one thing to be misunderstood out of an instinctive reaction, but being misunderstood as a thorough thought, out a paused response is a calculative and deliberate thing.
And I see many responded as such.
Not even a reaction but a calm choice they made, as to how they wish to receive you.
And I hear this beautiful analogy in my head,
The people around you, all knots, tangled and restricted and you a sharp sword born to undo them.
But people so used to the sensation of restriction, almost receiving it as some sort of safety, all those entanglements being a habit that they have built their identity around, fearing you and your nature's purpose.
If you undo me, what am I going to be? If not a knot, then how am I to live?
Fearing you from deep within.
Also another one comes to mind,
In a house full of disease and illnesses, you being a cure.
Bitter yet just what they needed, but them being used to the sweet sweet poison that had been costing them their wellbeing, resenting your taste and the discomforting sensation when a long latched disease is in the precipice of being annihilated into a cure, making them distance themselves from you.
The tarot deck I'm using is the tarot of the divine, and in there, the card 10 of swords has this art where a man has chopped all the fingers of his daughter except the thumbs, and that somehow intuitively hints me into a forced hypnosis of some sort, teaching you beliefs through bullying and harm, that you may not ever call someone out for their behavior, you may only ever blame yourself.
I will speak of this through a story,
In a small house, there lived a very unkind guardian who cared none about the right things or fairness, raising 5 children with such negligent nature.
The youngest, however, had a nature that was righteous and upright, very different from his surroundings.
As the elder siblings would cause trouble around, breaking vases, dirtying the rooms, scribbling on walls with unerasable shades, the negligent yet a punishment enthusiast guardian would frantically run in, with upset words searching and seeking for the one who caused it.
'Who did it? Who was it?'
The guardian would ask with wrathful impatient.
And the youngest, who had a clean and honest nature, a bluntness with no adult ego that excuses bad behavior, would raise his hands and point the fingers at all those who caused it.
Upset and deeply offended by the youngest's straight nature,
The older siblings would bully him and spare him no mercy.
Cutting off all the fingers that could easily point to another and leaving only the thumbs that can only ever bend to the direction of self.
And each time, they all would cause trouble, gleaming at the loss of truth.
For the guardian eager to punish would run in again,
Only at the sound of breaking things, not people.
'Who did it?!! Who did it??! The guardian would demand a culprit with a yell.
As the youngest one would raise his hands out of nature, poor child would have no fingers that could ever hold another responsible.
With only two thumbs left as his tools, yet each facing him alone, the forced on redirection that betrayed truth and reinforced all the while a blame to self, and self alone.
With such helpless conditions and rewiring, the poor boy would live being punished for things he never did.
I see this was your story growing up and my heart goes out to you.
You are like a pearlish dew birthed by the clean rain, falling into a murky pond and then being labeled as someone odd and incompetent, worth a bully, worth exclusion, by the pond that surrounded you.
'Why are you not green?? Like us.'
As you learned inner loathing of your ownself through hostile suggestion from people around, that you have something inherently wrong about you that needs fixing.
You are like a scenic sky, and people a stubborn filter.
Foolishly trying to capture you in a black and white filter and then claiming that being you.
Not pausing for a moment ever, to check what internal biases have been already set, like filters on a camera, being adamant about the sun being grey when it is actually golden, just because the filter their camera is set on, distorts the sunny shade of the sun.
I feel this heavy grief, the grief that comes from being told you are this and not that.
Losing the empowered right we all have, that is, representing ourselves.
'I am someone who is artistic and I like colors, especially on the rainbow palette.'
Such representation of ourselves we have the right to give to others, saying outloud what you are to another, like introducing our names to them and it would be odd isn't it? If you said, my name is this, and the person who is receiving it responds with, 'no you are not! Your name is actually this.'
Thats your grief and frustration.
You say to people who you are, you represent your ownself yet people twist your representation and voice out their own, forcing on you their own biases and complacent description of you that benefits them.
Such form of helplessness is deeply frustrating and difficult to bear.
You are someone who is very open and I think you found your way as an adult, or you are currently in the process of doing so, but unlike the other piles I like how your art has this girl who has her insides literally out for all to see.
Except the crown Chakra and third eye Chakra areas, suggesting that your intuitive sides and everything related to your psyche is still hidden compared to the other aspects.
You might need to work on expressing that of yours kindly and steadily, take small steps, and make a progress.
And what i am getting here is,
People who see you, are literally given an answer about who you are.
Right then and there, as your authentic and bare self is for all to see.
But people feeling this reluctance to go with that answer.
Our minds needs to feel like they fought for an answer or dug their hands on the most dirtiest corners to get a conclusion, our critical thinking needs to be tickled wide awake and triggered into working to ever feel like we were involved in finding some sort of answer.
In your case, the answer is bare and on their faces.
Like an uphill road where the feets are most involved with the road, which makes it feel more like we are riding the cycle.
Compared to the downhill slope where we barely greet the pedals and just swiftly ride downwards.
People feel the need to have a say in the answers, which in your case, noone gets given a riddle or a double meaning questions for them to solve, its just there.
And that unsettles some, making them feel like the answers are out of their hands, fearing and loathing that lack of involvement makes them hesitant to believe what you show.
And I think for you, the lesson is to realize not everyone will respond to you the way your worst experiences with some unfolded.
You are going to be loved dearly, mostly by those who don't overwork their mind out of fear, especially by those, who dares to let the world and the people be not so complicated.
Not everything is a maze, a riddle, a complex dichotomy one needs to stack their mental prowess for, sometimes its right there.
And sometimes swallowing that easy answer feels terrifying, it feels like a trap.
It's like having a parent who made you always work for things, and suddenly one day out of nowhere gave you something without asking a task out of you.
It unsettles you, it does.
But your people, the daring kind, will take that risk.
Will receive you and your bareness, like a vacation for their overworked mind.
'With you, i dont need to run my mind.
What you say, what you represent, what you show,
I will hear them, receive them, and use those materials to perceive.'
Sometimes perception is like a light switch, sometimes some people are duplicitous and riddle like, they dont mean what they say, and with them our minds are the most alert, and with them we have to build the entire socket, the bulbs, the wires and also on top of that, let our perception turn the switch on.
But some people already have all those materials built up, all you need to do is, turn on the switch, with your perception.
You are like that rare vacation that a mind never free from burdensome survival duties would love.
If a mind escaped out the body, it would love you the most.
With you, I can finally let be. '
Thats what a mind, out of a fearful body would say to you.
But don't be sad, those minds that are ruthlessly analyzing you still, is trapped inside a scared body....fearful of the world and its people...that is why, that is why, it doesn't have the privilege to recognize a vacation when it sees one.
But you will find those, who will.
Your authentic self is the one who doesn't divert the responsibility and the blame to yourself, even though the one who caused is someone else.
authenticity for you means, to call out people.
To regrow those tiny little righteous fingers that were there like a divine arrow to shoot at a direction where a correction needed to be born.
You my dear are divinely righteous.
The one with whom everyone is a victim and a culprit.
To have someone who names your position honestly,
When you are suffering, and then being reassured as a victim.
When you are harming, and then being redirected as a culprit.
Nobody likes being victimized, or demonized.
But your truth is like a stem, the most capable in growing part of a plant.
You take the flowers, the leaves, the little pollen seeds, high up to an air, so different from the roots below.
You kindly remind people that their humane hands, voice, actions are being led to a direction that they will not flourish on.
You kindly remind people that their humane power, empowered esteem are dismissing the other humane suffering caused by another.
Your truthful arrows are needed.
A human is both a victim and a culprit.
To be reminded of that, is something essential for transformation.
There is a form kindness you can only learn when you admit to your victimization.
There is a form of kindness you can only learn when you admit to being the culprit.
Being helpless yourself, exposes a vast form of ways, you can encourage the one who is helpless just like you.
Being blinded by power, exposes a vast form of ways, you can humble the one who is blinded by power just like you.
Just when you think, you can only ever be better if you help or were someone who needed help before yourself.
The universe shows you, how causing harm once yourself, also is a great catalyst for evolution of one's character, ethics, morales, heart and spirit.
You my friend are beyond lovely.
The angel side that whispers on the other side of the devil,
'Thats not right....do you really want to do this dear?
You are so much better than what you are about to say or do.
Let's not do that now, let's think this through.'
We all need an angel like you, resting in one of our shoulder, speaking to us about our potential and kindly redirecting us towards it.
I love you, you cute little compass.
When someone realizes that they are lost,
And admission to that, takes vulnerability, courage and swallowing of the truth.
Which is hard for many but those who do and discover their vulnerability and lost lostness, to them, my dear, you will be the most endearing existence in life.
Take care, and take care of your authentic finger arrows.
You are doing great, sweetie!
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