#self work

[rewrittenone]

Post It

Recently, I had a podcast interview scheduled but the guest backed out at the last minute. From what I’ve observed since, this may have been a good thing. The person I’m talking about here posts multiple times per day on her social media. This started a couple of months after she cancelled. Her posts have a common theme, herself. There’s nothing wrong with that, it just strikes me as a little…

[themerakimethod]

There's a kind of overwhelm one rarely names, for it doesn't look like suffering from the outside: the overwhelm of awakening arriving faster than the Self can integrate it. An opening arrives — through practice, grief, &/or some sudden thinning of the veil — and the insight is real & beautiful, but also far more than the everyday personality knows how to carry.

One's instinct is sometimes to push toward more :: more opening, more seeking, more light. Yet the Vedic understanding offers something steadier: realization isn't the destination, embodiment is; the awakening wants to become livable, woven into how one speaks & rests & moves through an ordinary Tuesday. Fire, left to itself, consume; but, met with the grounding of Earth and the rhythm of the breath, it becomes warmth one can live beside.

The work of this season isn't to reach higher, for it's to let what one has already glimpsed descend gently into the body, the days, the lived, and particular life.

[unregulatedgirl]

Do it regardless.

Over these past few weeks, I've been on an emotional rollercoaster. Every day waking up was unknown, was I gonna wake up sad, or angry, or even still tired? Many days, I didn't want to get up, and in the first few, I didn't get up. I laid there in my misery. But as days went on, I started to build a routine. I had realized I couldn't lie there forever. I once heard someone say, "Don't let this bed be your grave; get up." So I got up, and I've been going ever since. Tired, still showed up. Sad, went with tears in my eyes and a tissue in hand. Scared, coached breathing, but still moving. So day by day I keep going, some days are light and breezy, others are heavy and lonely, but regardless, I will have my turmeric tea in the morning, do my stretches, and take care of myself because at the top of the hill I'll be glad I never stopped.

[sacredbloominglotus]

[moth-centrifuge]

I have had moderate success so far!

I’ve brushed my teeth at least once every day (I should try to up that to twice eventually)

I’ve also showered every day!

I’m gonna need to clean my room soon-ish, maybe after I get back from work 2day?

I visited my family over the weekend, which was a bit of a nightmare… they aren’t the best people to be around.

I also got a hair cut! Which I need to lowkey dye asap cuz I look ginger lol

But overall, I’m doing fine on the plan so far!

[findingpeacethroughchaos]

[moth-centrifuge]

Howdy!

I’m Moth (obviously not my real name)

I am an 18 year old trying to get out of depression and to develop some actual good habits.

I was severely medically, emotionally, and hygienically neglected as a child since I grew up with a crazy hoarder father and a mom that didn’t want to be a mother.

My ultimate goal is to be healthy both physically AND mentally

I am physically disabled due to them medical neglect, and now that I’m 18 Ive been kind of left to put myself back together.

This blog is about my self improvement- I will be very open here about very weird and “gross” struggles I have.

I will make one post a day with my daily goals, but here is a list of my goals, both short and long term;

Daily:

Shower

Brush teeth

Eat 3 meals + 1 small snack

Every month:

Shower every day for the entire month

Brush teeth every day for the entire month

Do my laundry once a week

Not order takeout for a month

Keep room clean (in a way where I’m not ashamed to keep my door open, at least)

Do my physical therapy exercises every day

Go on 1 walk for 15 mins (the longest I can currently walk, with assistance)

Have at least 24 hours on the clock of studying for uni

Within 6 months:

Go down the size needed for my wheelchair from bariatric to semi bariatric

Go to a bar

Set up an appointment with a psychiatrist

Make a new ID (lost old one while moving) & change address

Move out of gov housing w/ friends

Stop SH completely

Find an accessible gym

Book an appointment with an ED specialized dietitian

Lose AT LEAST 10kg

Have a full portfolio

Within a year:

Lose 20 kg AT LEAST

Book a reevaluation appointment for eligibility for HRT

Start uni

Start process of moving out of the country (this will take at least 3 years lol)

I will post every single day which goals I hit and from what catagory with full openness of course.

I will also challenge myself to share images of my room, even if it’s really dirty and gross specifically so that it won’t get to that stage.

Again I know all of this sounds like “easy” things but keep in mind I am in pain 24/7 and also had to learn how to do all of this on my own completely.