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Class: Writing back to kids’ letters for santa Alfred the nonbinary tranny: I’m going to steal this one from destiny because it MUST be destiny.

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Can you lend me a few inches? I say to the man with the very large height.

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Hey you might wanna try growing up its like a new trend going on

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Lmao this is literally me everytime I show my friends my crush's facebook: He looks bettER IN PERSONN I SWEARR!!!

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I woke up today not wanting to wake up

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I like to tounge my McDouble in between the two meats before every bite

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How to kill someone 101 If you find out what they are alergic to bake some cookies with that exact ingredient in it and place the cookie when no one’s there on the persons desk with a note written with your nondominate hand saying just for you with a heart near it and just watch them disintegrate into atoms while you’re eating your popcorn Protip

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your ego is at an all time high

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I think it's kind of strange how I constantly say kill myself but yet my biggest fear is death it self

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Whenever I post a selfie on any social media I usually go through three stages with it

Stage 1: The oH MYy god I look so god damn moTHER FUcking hot as shiiiitttttt I’m so blessed watCH OUT MOM’s lock up ya boys dick stage Stage 2: The oh hey why does this picture look different what the fuck should I dele- nahh I’m still hot sort of idk Carly commented beautiful on it is she lying? that bitch stage Stage 3: The OHHHHHHHHHHH MY GODDSSDD Why the FUCK DID I upload tHIS PIC WHO EVEN IS THAT thAT ISN’T EVEN ME WTF OH GOD I’M SO SORRY FUCKING CARLY LYING ASS BITCH stage

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When love is in the air

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When you post a picture on facebook looking hot as shit and no one likes it

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The only action I get is from my dog and even he uses me for treats

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When he slaps you with his dick

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When you're horny af but single af

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Face so unsymetrical it's torture

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The oil on my nose is brighter than my future