What is Life @unrumoredbeauty - Tumblr Blog

Turned my love into something I don’t wanna give.

Held my trust like a hostage just to bleed and spill.

I can’t hurt like I want to, I only burn inside.

Trust you with all of my heart, but not all of my mind.

Let me go so I can breathe.

I let go so I can grieve.

All alone with peace of mind.

All along a piece of mine.

Can’t help what I’ve done.

But I just know that we are done.

Turned my love into something I wouldn’t give.

Held my love like a hostage just to cheat and kill.

#original poem

The way it’s so much easier to let someone go once they treat you like shit is *chefs kiss* 😘 like the universe is validating my choices

You cannot complain about your feelings being invalidated if every time you bring up your feelings it is in a way that is hurtful, unwarranted, or manipulative towards others.

Feelings are always valid, actions however are not.

unrumoredbeauty

It’s been like a year since I posted last. I’ve honestly been feeling like I’m trapped in a cycle I can’t get out of. Things didn’t go so well last semester and now I’m not even going to school because of money reasons. It just feels like everything keeps getting worse and worse and it’s me honestly, it’s me, I’m in my way of getting things done, I’m so comfortable in this cycle that I don’t want to get out and I’m not putting myself on the path of progress, I feel like I’m stuck. I want to move forward but it’s like, even with everything in front of me I can’t get myself to do it. I just want to be able to do things, have the discipline to concentrate on the tasks I want to get done.

unrumoredbeauty

Guess what this literally has never fucking changed cause I’m pretty sure it’s just ADHD

Entry #23

I wish my parents hadn’t pressured me about money the moment I broke up with my cheating boyfriend. It literally pushed me back into his arms cause I felt alone vulnerable and unable to depend on anyone but him. As much as they blamed the men in my life they never recognize how their role as parents who prioritize “tough love” has resulted in children who choose the toughest love to conquer in their own lives. My sister fell for a man who strung her along and when he left her got some bitch pregnant. My other sister kept talking to a guy who tried to baby trap her. When my mom told us she stayed with my dad after he cheated it all made sense. We don’t know what good supportive love looks like, just the type that keeps you trapped in an awful situation. I wish they had supported me and made me feel safe after I broke up with him, I honestly feel that would’ve changed the past 2 years I’ve stayed with him trying to forgive something unforgivable. The kicker? He’s still awful sometimes, mean and cold and punitive. It’s confusing cause there are times he’s sweet and attentive and understanding. But I recognize I don’t feel the same way I use to…. And I don’t know how to escape.

#cheating #blog entry #me