Unscripted Unicorn

[unscripted-unicorn]

Love is Shitty

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little less than a year. We are pretty comfortable around eachother, so when I say that I was showering while he was pooping two feet away on the toilet don’t be grossly alarmed. We were talking about the lake trip we had taken that day when he said it. Boyfriend: I-L-Y Me: *didn’t hear him* B: I-L-Y Me: *washes body in confusion* …what? B: Iiiiiiiii-Llllllll-Yyyyyyy think about what those three letters stand for… Me: ohhh..yahhh haha *continues washing body, further confused*

Yes folks you read it correctly. My boyfriend told me he loves me for the first time using an acronym while he was pooping and I was shaving my shins.

That happened last Sunday night. Seven days later, still haven’t talk about it. I love him and all but the mans got to suffer.

[unscripted-unicorn]

"Life is like an assorted fruit cup; a little sweet, not always healthy, but colorful as love."

[unscripted-unicorn]

"The less you give a damn honey, the happier you will be."

[unscripted-unicorn]

Life's like a fruit cup right?

It happened last Monday morning. I stole a fruit cup from my friends fridge the night before (an amazing drunken decision) and was busy devouring it for breakfast. Okay, maybe not devouring it, but I remember feeling nearly starved and not wanting to share it with my boy friend-- who was at the time peeing in the bathroom. Fruit cups are a pretty prime snack when your a youngin' but you rarely see an adult consume one. When did they become only a kid's PP&J's sidekick. I want a fruit cup all the time. My stolen fruit cup was the top shelf tequilas of fruit cups. The cubes of fruit were suspended in jello making it extra delicious but not so nutritious.

Here is where I'm going to get philosophical because I'm a girl and I love to over think life in general. If my life were a fruit cup, I had just discovered my life. Like those nutritious and somewhat healthy pieces of fruit, I was stuck in a suffocating situation. I'm currently a fifth year student at a University just two hours from my home town. I have, or well almost have, a degree in Journalism and Creative Writing. Am I going to law school? Um, no. Do I have a job lined up for after I graduate in the spring? Nope. Have I been working as an intern to learn the tricks of the trade for my career? Hell to the no. Am I freaking out because I don't have a savings account or a plan for my life? Yes, absolutely. I'm scared, stressed, depressed, and a bunch of other girly emotions I can't control. I'm PMSing 24/7 365 and it sucks. My biggest fear in life is ending up right where I started--at my mom and dads.  So how am I going to handle it? I'm going to do what happy people seem to do: look on the bright side. I'm going to find the funny/embarrassing/gross stuff that happens in my day to day life and share them with the world. I am a nutritious snack stuck in an unhealthy lifestyle.

My question for you is: What type of fruit cup are you? Are you mushed up applesauce? Fruit soaked in simple syrup? An assortment of tropical fruits and random pears? Are you like me and suspended in gelatin? Maybe you have it all figured out and are rocking the organic sliced apricots cup. Whatever you are, remember that you are sweet, colorful (well except for you apple-saucers, get some Vitamin D!) and most importantly wanted (by me at least).