Unsaid Thoughts

The letters turned into poetry in hope that you would still be able to read what I never said but probably should have.

[unsent-unread-blog]

I'm okay, I'm fine. This kinda happens all the time.

ST // Unsent Letter #59 // I’m used to the pain.

[unsent-unread-blog]

You deserve someone who needs you 24/7, not only on cold, lonely nights.

ST // Unsent Letter #58

[unsent-unread-blog]

"You lost me." he declared. I stared at him and rolled my eyes, "I couldn't lose something that was never even mine." And in that moment, I wondered if it was me or him who was hurting.

ST // Unspoken Conversation #18

[unsent-unread-blog]

I often ask my bed for two if anyone could ever love me the way I would do.

ST // Unsent Letter #57

[unsent-unread-blog]

He hands me my clothes that has been on the bedroom floor since we got into his apartment last night. I'm in a rush to get dressed since I'm running late for today's class at the university. I notice that he has left marks all over me. I roll my eyes. I have to endure a week-long of hiding these marks. Marks like these mean "you're mine" but he's not mine and I'm not his either or maybe he wants to be - NO - I shake the thought away. As I was buttoning my pants he asks, "Are you happy with just this?" I want to say yes, but that was not the truth. I want to have something more than just this, I want something real, but I have no right to demand that from him. I know my place, but I no longer want to be in that place. Maybe, just maybe, a spot in his heart would suffice, but someone already occupies that spot, right? Just as I was about to leave the way I usually do, with a messy bun and his scent attached to my skin, I reply, "I'm not sure, but I'd rather have you this way than not at all."

ST // Unspoken Conversation #17

[unsent-unread-blog]

"I'm not certain, but I think I've fallen for him," she admits while fighting back the tears, "but he's in love with someone else, he's in love with someone else. What do I do? What can I do?"

ST // Unspoken Conversation #16

[unsent-unread-blog]

We're rational beings but we're not immune to commit irrational doings.

ST // Unsent Letters #56

[unsent-unread-blog]

"I'm afraid," he admits like as if love is a haunted creature, "and I know, I could see that you're terrified." "You'd break my heart," she said with her head down and strands masking her face, "I could feel it." He lets out a deep sigh and speaks, "Isn't that the whole point of love?" He comes near, lifts her head up, and shoves her brown black hair to look deep into her hazelnut eyes. "I'd break your heart and you'd break mine, but we'd still hold on because it would be far more shattering to lose each other."

ST // Unspoken Conversation #15

[unsent-unread-blog]

I foolishly fell deep into the rabbit hole you dug for the countless girls you swore to love.

ST // Unsent Letter #55

[unsent-unread-blog]

You have to stop wondering about what went wrong and start thinking about what you could do to make things right.

ST // Unsent Letter #54 // 5 Mar 2015 9:57pm

[unsent-unread-blog]

People are often confused with infatuation and love. These intense emotions differ in their actuality of love, intensity and final outcome but there is a thin line between the two. Infatuation is an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone. Infatuation can be referred as a fairy tale while on the other hand love is considered the real thing. Some people say that love is blind, but when you come to think of it infatuation is blind while love is being able to see every tiny detail, including the flaws, but still being able to accept and love the totality of a person. Physical attraction is not love, it is infatuation. Infatuation is fragile for it shatters as soon as the rain starts falling while love is able to withstand the raging storm and the tidal waves. Infatuation can also be referred as being in love with the idea of love. Infatuation can grow stronger or weaker over time depending on the circumstances. If you are lucky enough, infatuation can lead to love.

ST // Infatuation and Love

[unsent-unread-blog]

We spoke our feelings without letting words slip out of our bumping lips.

ST // Unsent Letter #53

[unsent-unread-blog]

"I want to fall in love with you," she admits, "but you remind me so much of him and I'm terrified you'd break me the same way he did."

ST // Unspoken Conversation #13 // 9 Oct 2015 9:30pm

[unsent-unread-blog]

"We always spoke with words of equivocity. Maybe they're feelings left unspoken or maybe I'm mistaken - it's confusing."

ST // Unsent Letter #52 // 19 Oct 2015 11:46pm

[unsent-unread-blog]

"I'm all yours, but not even your slightest bit belongs to me. It's unfair, but it's okay. Love isn't meant to be reciprocated anyway."

ST // Unsent Letter #51 // 20 Oct 2015 7:53pm

[unsent-unread-blog]

"I don't care what happens right now," she screams, "as long as in the future I'll get to spend my mornings waking up next to you."

ST // Unspoken Conversation #12 // 25 Oct 2015 6:41pm

[unsent-unread-blog]

We've had each other memorized; we knew each other like the back of our hand. I could distinguish the lies from his honest utterance. Just by looking at him, I could determine what mood he is in, yet often times he still confuses me.  One night while we were under the sheets, I almost asked him,"How could we be so honest with each other yet we can't find the right words to say how we feel?" But I shook the wonder out of my head and decided to shut my mouth with his.

ST // Unspoken Conversation #11 // 26 Oct 2015 10:35pm