Swarla Kisses Rated: Part 3 | based upon | part 1 | part 2
52. "What if I wrap myself around your mother like a big koala bear?" (5 September 2025)
Honestly, the fact that they didn't kiss in this episode is mind boggling - especially considering they were practically doing it on the engagement island over breakfast. Have you ever seen anything gayer than these nuzzles? Lisa's smug little face is directed at her daughter, y'all. 7/10 cause you know they were fucking cuddling all night in their engagement bed.
53. "Love you." (12 September 2025)
We almost got three whole seconds of joy on this soap! Becky's return heralding in a master class on acting from one Vicky Myers is something I'll never begrudge. Look at her broken little face! They're such a team here, but Carla's kisses can only do so much. 5/10 someone get Lisa a blanket and a proper hug, stat.
54. "I'll follow you up, I promise." (17 September 2025)
When I dreamed of half asleep kisses, this isn't quite what I imagined. But, we're in the era of angst, so it'll have to do. The two of them leaning into each other put a big ol' plaster on my breaking heart. 5/10 cause Lisa needs to crawl back into that engagement bed and get spooned until she heals.
55. "...gonna leave you here stranded, were we?" (22 September 2025)
In terms of things I could deduct rating points for, this kiss has a lot going for it. Is it yet another marking my territory kiss? You betcha. Did we actually get to see it? Fuck no. Were we subject to far too many frames of Becky's live reaction? Aye, matey. Does Lisa look kind of uncomfortable? I think so. The only positive to this one is that sound design let us hear it. 1/10 GTFO with this shit.
56. "See ya later." (24 September 2025)
Someone get Carla a medal for being such a supportive partner and stepmother in this scene. This was the most vanilla peck known to man but I'll give it a slide because five seconds later she was winning over the crabby teenager with scrambled eggs. 4/10 if they weren't already engaged at this point, I'd be making old married couple jokes.
57. "But not me, right?" "No. Not a chance." (3 October 2025)
This is the moment where I cast all my gif formatting rules aside and said fuck it: those nose nuzzles are just as important as the actual kiss! God, the hand on Lisa's neck, the smiles, the forehead lean. They're once again pressed together in every spot possible and I'm fucking gay about. They're so damn hot! I'm frankly surprised this scene didn't get me pregnant. 14/10 bring me another!
58. "C'mere." (13 October 2025)
Nothing like a totally normal nothing's going to happen conversation to make everything seem really secure. Koala Connor couldn't even save us from this rollercoaster ride, folks, and look how hard she's trying. If only we could all be as believing as Lisa seems to be. 3/10 it's all downhill from here.
59. Webcam Kisses (17 October 2025)
Even the Irish Sea couldn't keep this post down! Anyone else having vanity flashbacks? Lisa's one long kiss versus Carla's many got me feeling some kind of way. Something something personality archetype. Smother me in this long distance love, please. And stab Becky with that spoon. 5/10
60. "It wasn't a break, it was a funeral." (30 October 2025)
You really thought the title Swarla Kisses Rated meant it would be only Swarla kisses? THINK AGAIN. Not even Roy Cropper is getting away without a little kissy from this biconic loving dork. Two weeks without her fiancée and this woman was ready to kiss anyone in her path, surrogate fathers included. Rating this 10/10 cause I think they should kiss on the lips more, actually.
61 ¼. "Well, it's a surprise, innit?" (30 October 2025)
Have you ever seen them more excited to throw their arms around each other? Carla 'I'll cover you in 10,000 kisses' Connor is back on the scene! Between the full body press and the utter relief of them back together, this scene managed to make me gayer. Someone get this into a drip and inject me with it. 7/10
61 ½. "I missed you!" (30 October 2025)
Somehow, it managed to get better. The precise angle I dream of for this kiss rating post and smiles into the kiss. I've died and gone to pervy creep heaven. Y'all know my criteria for giving this a higher rating so I'm not even going to try to fill your heads with my filth. 9/10 let's all live in the alternate universe where Becky never walked through the door after they started doing it this.
61 ¾. "Well, that all depends, young lady..." (30 October 2025)
AND THEN THEY FLIRTED. It's rained in the desert after weeks of drought. The crops are recovering, the animals are returning, nature is healing and so am I. They're so giddy happy through this entire scene that they could've been exclusively air kissing and I'd still be hitting it with 8/10. I'm just that gay for them holding each other.
61². "I might have, and I might not have." (30 October 2025)
As if the ass smack wasn't enough. Lisa Swain puckering her lips while Carla Connor kisses her jaw can be displayed on my gravestone. I'm not even a little bit surprised that they were coming down the stairs half-dressed by their next scene. I, too, was fabrically affected by how handsy they were. 9/10 thank god they have a room.
62. "Darling, I do trust you." (30 October 2025)
Aaaand the painful, angsty kisses are back literally five seconds later. That head clutch fucked me up spiritually. Don't think I didn't notice Lisa's sweet little smile before this kiss, either. I'm praying for the day they get to spend all 22 minutes of the episode just doing it in every corner of their house. Please, Coronation Street, let it be. 9/10
63. "I'll make it up to you..." (31 October 2025)
Why is Carla Connor with a lollipop in her mouth as she kisses Lisa Swain actually the hottest thing ever??! The writer's room said let us give you the beginning of every PWP fic you've ever read, as a treat. Recharge your vibrators, kids; Lisa's done a smokey eye and Carla's about to put on a very tight shirt. 8/10 all I wish for is the pervert angle clearer camera coverage for this one.
64. "Although, it's a shame..." (5 November 2025)
Can't decide if it's Betsy being in the room or Carla's dad peering over them that results in these perfunctory good bye kisses. You know they're on the same team again when Carla's back to being a menace to the grumpy teenager. How effortlessly their arms settle around each other makes me weak in the knees when the kisses don't. 4/10 cause I get it, they're basically married.
65. "I am crossin' everything." (5 November 2025)
Does the amount of screen time Lisa Swain's tongue has in this shot make it two kisses or one? I know I asked for some tongue action (and I'm definitely not complaining) but this isn't exactly what I meant. I'm gonna spend the rest of my life seeking the high that my tumblr dash levitates to anytime these ladies hand feed each other. 7/10 cause I'm not heartless but I am holding out hope for the day they make out nasty-style on this couch.
66. "Here she is!" (7 November 2025)
Even Ella the Designer is a Swarla shipper. Lisa Swain looks like she just got noticed by the most popular girl in school and isn't quite sure what to do about it. Those tiny wringing hands will be the death of me, y'all. You know Carla's in love when she kisses someone in her office during work hours. 6/10 get in those wedding dresses, ladies!
67. "Oh, you do, do you?" "Yes I do, yes I do." (21 November 2025)
Carla Connor is so smitten she brought home 45 pastries for a woman who usually survives on half a piece of toast for breakfast. Gay kryptonite strikes again with these hands. I could stare at this kiss for hours and not think about what actually went down the rest of the episode. 10/10 we all really needed this.
68. "Wow, my very own domestic goddess." (24 November 2025)
Have you ever come lost your mind from seeing the way Carla cradles Lisa's face? Yeah, me neither. These 0.5 second glimpses of how hopelessly in love they still are is the only thing holding me together at this point in the storyline. The consistency of Lisa's hands on Carla's shoulder, pulling her in as they kiss, for an entire year is clearing my skin. 11/10 they need a bunker to hide in.
69. "Mornin'." (26 November 2025)
I know I've said I love an eyes open kiss, but this is too thinking thoughts for my comfort. I will, however, be daydreaming about the purposeful way Lisa marches towards Carla for this kiss for the rest of my life. Softest, in love dyke on the cobbles returns. They're so warm together even amidst the chaos. 8/10
70. "I love you, too. Very much." (26 November 2025)
This kiss is so soft and they're so smitten with each other that I could literally burst into flames. The eye contact, the giggles, the l e a n. Those jaw lines are so sharp I actually cut myself making this gif. If there was anything on earth that could save us from what comes next, it would be this kiss. 11/10 please Obiwan, you're my only hope.
71. "Here comes your ticket out of here." (26 November 2025)
Personally, I've never been punched in the windpipe, but I'm pretty sure it would hurt less than this moment did. We all knew it was coming and still it plowed through the fandom like a freight train. The silver lining is that they made it a year without breaking up, but nobody fucking cares about that when we're grieving. 9/10 I watch this scene when my eyes get too dry. #visine
