There’s something about him that just reads ‘off’ in her mind, a sort of restless energy to a man who was normally capable of being as still as a stone, as quiet as the night. Seeing him like this concerned her, made her wish she hasn’t had to head out on that mission after all, but at least she was home now.
The original mission had been four days. Two days out under the hot sun tracking a target, another capturing them and extracting information before turning them over to the authorities, and one further to kill a relevant cult group before flying back and head home.
Home, what a funny concept. And yet it was, it was here, with him.
But then the surviving brother, who was neither part of the cult nor originally a violent contender, had shown up with a tank of explosives and five hostages and demanded to see Natasha alone. She’d had no option, for the sake of the civilians.
“It went as well as it could have,” she said with a smile, reaching out to brush at his stubble with a thumb. At least two days old, perhaps more. Had he been like this for all this time? “The couple of bruises and burns I got have already healed and everything else is fine.” Natasha always addressed her personal well-being first, because that’s what she knew James worried about. “The target’s been taken down and shouldn’t be hurting anyone else any time soon.”
The other hand came up, actively cradling his face now. “You know I can handle myself, James. Why do you fret so much?”
"Sounds like another job well done." It's almost a mumble, followed shortly by a lopsided grin. Of course, he feels that pesky sting of regret, missing out on a chance to work with Natasha all while doing some good. But they wouldn't always be together; missions and assignments wouldn't always align, and he understood that.
James allowed his head to rest within her hands, briefly closing his eyes to soak up how comfortable the moment felt. It was the first time since she left that he felt truly relaxed. A lengthy sigh, weary eyes eventually opening and peering back at hers as he shrugs.
He spent plenty of time pondering the why. Why did the panic set in, why did he allow it, what did it mean, why did he feel like this? It was all a confusing and frustrating round of self-questioning and harsh realization.
"I don't know, honestly. Sometimes when you go, I'm just fine. Other times the moment you're out of sight, this panic sets in, and I can't shake it. Silly, I know." A lie, for now. Truthfully, he had a pretty good idea what was going on, but a clingy attraction was a luxury they could not afford in their lives.
James placed a hand over hers, "Are you hungry? I can cook something up if you want. Or we can always order in, of course."