listen no matter how depressed I am whenever this post shows up on my dash I fucking lose it I just laugh so hard, itโs such a good post. The way itโs presented? Soap on a sink nozzle, okay clearly this is some sort of handwashing appliance. Then thereโs just water going everywhere no further explanation itโs so good Iโm so happy
I strongly believe Valeria wouldn't be with a woman that doesn't know who she is and what she does. It's too risky. She needs to know that her partner knows, agrees and accepts her completely, not just the good parts. It is very likely she would only date a woman from her cartel or maybe an associate.
But if not, I can imagine her testing you since the start. The first time you see her she is strapped โwith her gun, very much visible and attached to her thigh. She'll always be accompanied by some of her subordinates, being who she is, she can't just walk around alone, they will be in sight, not too close, but noticeable. And you will see, you will feel that she is not just someone else.
She will not just say who she is, maybe you won't ask either, it's pretty obvious that she is from some cartel. What she does is not a topic in any conversation, maybe if you ask once she will give a vague answer, very evasive and change the subject, letting it be obvious she won't say more. You won't be pushy, she doesn't like that and you know. She treats you like a goddess from the first date, she makes clear that she is in this to get to know you, to have a relationship and you just need to follow her lead. And you do.
She won't kiss you until she's tested you. Ten dates in, one month talking through messages and FaceTime but the closest from her lips you got was when you kissed her cheek. She is needy and she likes her woman like that too, handsy, clingy, and she knows once she kisses she won't stop there, and she can't have that before knowing you can handle her other sides as well.
Valeria, but instead of her being suave and charming sheโs weird and off putting
Sheโs socially awkward but not in the cute shy way. In a way that makes her seem uncanny, and her romantic interest seem almost threatening.
Instead of charming her way into your pants she thinks knowing every little detail, including the ones she shouldnโt know, about you is just as good.
NSFW Alphabet โ Valeria โEl Sin Nombreโ Garza
Pairing: Valeria โEl Sin Nombreโ Garza x f!Reader
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: femdom. knifeplay mention. cucking fantasy. MEAN MEAN MEAN Valeria. Can be interpreted as lesbian Valeria if you like!
A = Aftercare (what theyโre like after sex)
One of the rare times that you get to see the soft inner world of Valeria Garza is after sheโs rocked yours. She is the dominant, active partner in your relationship, through and through, but no one under the kind of pressure she is can go without some sort of relief. So when youโve come down from the highs sheโs brought you to, Valeria is curling up against you, stroking your face with tender, soft fingers, whispering in mingled Spanish and English that youโre the only person on the face of the earth that really matters to her.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partnerโs)
Valeria is very proud of her looks from top to bottom. She knows sheโs hot as fuck, knows it only takes a quirk of her brow and a twitch of her lips to have men and women alike falling over themselves for her favor. If she had to choose a feature specifically, sheโd choose her hips. Sheโs proud that she takes up space, proud that her femininity has more power than all of the men under her command combined.
On you, sheโs actually quite partial to your belly, breasts, and thighsโall of the softest parts of you drive her wild. The way her hands sink into you, the softness of all that delicate skin? If she doesnโt have a hand on you at any given moment, sheโs thinking about how soon she can.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
A personal goal of hers, when your sexual relationship begins, is to figure out how to make you squirt. Sheโs very methodical about it, which is deeply unfair, because her experimentation with your body has you writhing and whimpering at the ends of her fingers while she, by comparison, doesnโt look affected at all.
Of course, thatโs not trueโyou learn her expressions at the same time that she learns yours, and you know how to recognize as time goes on the flex of her brows and the angle of her chin as signals of her own arousal. When she finally accomplishes her goalโwhen you soak her arm to the elbow as you scream her nameโsheโll carry around the high of that pride for a month. And use your wetness as lube to go again immediately after.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Valeria has no dirty secrets. She is not shy to express anything she wants of you, at any time. Every notion of shame she ever possessed, she crushed years ago, and she trains it out of you, tooโshe wants you open and naked in every possible way with her, eager to tell her what you want, eager to hear her own desires.
Is what sheโd tell you.
In truth, there are things El Sin Nombre keeps so close to the chest that they live behind her sternum. She thinks of white dresses, of gilt-draped mariachis, of thirteen solid gold arras piling up in your cupped hands. She thinks of hands linked together and lazy walks along the beach, gentle waves lapping at your feet. She thinks of waking up beside you with nothing to do other than to admire you.
Sheโs already sized the rings. You will know none of this for a long, long time.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? Do they know what theyโre doing?)
Valeria has a wealth of experience. She has always been charismatic, confident in what she wants out of life and not afraid to seize it by any means necessary. And she has no reservations about utilizing that experience in your shared bedroom, no circumspection about showing off for you. Knowing that she can wreck you like none other, and knowing that you know that, is a high she canโt get anywhere else.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Any position in which Valeria has you at her mercy is her favorite one. You tied up, a vibrator taped to your thigh, while she sits casually across the room with a remote in one hand and tequila in the other? The best kind of night, for her. Rarely does El Sin Nombre enjoy handing control over to someone else, even someone she trusts as much as you.
That doesn't mean she isn't fond of an old-fashioned scissoring, however. It simply depends on what mood strikes her in the moment.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous?)
MEAN. Valeria is mean. She learns you very quickly, learns the razor-thin line between good hurt and bad hurt, and loves to get right up to the edge of that line as often as she can. She can't help itโshe loves your little helpless whimpering and crying, and will merely lick your tears off your face and give your abused nipple a twist. She's enjoying herself very much, and you'll be able to admit later that you are, too.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes?)
Valeria strikes me as someone with a landing strip. Perfect way to show you exactly where she wants your mouth to be.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? The romantic aspect)
Part of the reason Valeria likes to overstimulate you so much is because it keeps you from seeing, she thinks, the real depths of her feelings for you. She thinks that if you could look into her eyes properly as she fucks you, then you would know exactly how much of her is yours, and she's not willing to hand over that much power to you. (It doesn't work, of course. She treats you too gently afterwords for someone who wants to hide her love so badly.)
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
She's always so busy. Keeping her empire under control does not keep her stress levels manageable, and so she will go long stretches between moments of self-pleasure. Then, when you enter the picture, she doesn't need to do it by herself; she's got a pretty little thing like you to boss around, upon whom to take out her various frustrations. Her lieutenants will gossip that her mood has much improved once she's taken you under her wing (NEVER within her earshot, of course.)
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
She really enjoys the roleplay of cucking her aforementioned lieutenants. A young queer Valeria grew up watching the girls she was hopelessly in love with go for boys she felt nothing but loathing for, and the sum total of those experiences wrote themselves indelibly upon her sexual psyche.
You, in virginal white or cream lingerie, supposedly waiting for Diego in the guest bedroom of Valeria's house. Her entering. Not leaving when she sees you, and cornering you. Eventually she winds you up into a confession--you love Valeria, you've always loved Valeria, you just didn't even think she could feel the same. Then she shuts you up with a brutal kiss and hungry hands forcing themselves underneath your bra.
She's especially sweet to you after, on those nights that you indulge her.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
She's never opposed to a bed, but the many plush couches in her lavish estate have a novelty to them that never wears off. Having sex in the living rooms of her house feels joyful and open, absolutely refusing to hide away from a world that still struggles to accept her, and it provides a pleasure that is heady and rich and addictive. She likes to fuck you on her couch and make you something to drink after, a dry bar or the kitchen only a few steps away.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Moments in which you show Valeria genuine and open affection plant seeds low in her belly. The touch of your hand to hers, a kiss to her shoulder, your soft caress through her hair. You could, also, be dressing up for her enjoyment, doing sweet little spins in pretty dresses that she buys you. Signs that you're happy, that she makes you happy, make her want you with a power that she works hard to hide.
N = No (something they wouldnโt do, turn offs)
Valeria has few qualms in the bedroom. If you need her to paddle you, she will. If you need her to slap you around, hold you to her pussy by the hair while she sneers at you for being a needy little whore, she will. She is happy to use clamps, chains, whips, and even knives on you to great effect, but the one thing she will not bring into the bedroom is her gun. She will not take even the slightest risk that someone sneaks a bullet into the chamber outside her line of sight.
Also, she will shut down conversations about her work and your possible participation in it. She's keeping you safe, querida, the filthiness of running an empire is hers to deal with. It is not allowed to touch you.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill)
Giving for Valeria is so. much. fun. Especially in conjunction with her cucking fantasy. And she's sooo good at it too, the kind of lover who pays so much attention to your body language and reactions. She almost never has to ask things like "is this good" once she's had you a few times. She already knows. I think she likes to give and receive in equal measures, though; the thought of your head moving and bobbing between her thighs gets her through even her hardest days.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual?)
It all depends on context. A romantic night in is meant to be savored; she will drag out the seduction and the pleasure she promises agonizingly slowly. However, if sheโs trying to make a point, sheโll work you up faster than you can keep up with, and leave you dizzy with how quickly she can make you come. Usually this happens when sheโs worked up, herself, angry about something from her work and needing to let off steam.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
If it were up to her, youโd be at her side at all times, on call all day, available every moment she wants you, your mouth, your fingers, or your pussy. Brief little five minute diversions to take the edge off. She likes the idea of keeping you on a leash for this, something velvet and studded with diamonds.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks?)
With your safety? Never. With getting caught? Absolutely. To be more specific, Valeria doesnโt give a single shit if everyone knows whatโs happening behind the door sheโs closed after pulling you into it. This is her empire, and sheโll do whatever she damn well pleases in it. No one gets to see, but everyone should know: Valeriaโs got a soft, sweet little thing who sings for her and her alone. Even when she makes it hurt.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)
As long as you wanna go, querida. She knows youโre a spoiled little brat. She made you that way. You can have her mouth, her fingers, whatever cock you choose from her frighteningly diverse collection of them. Just be careful what you wish for. You might end up satisfied long before she is, and she will get what she wants from you.
T = Toys (do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or on themself?)
Valeria collects sex toys like old white men collect baseball cards. Funny enough, the evenings in which the two of you experiment with whatever new contraption sheโs bought turn out to be some of the most playful, innocent nights you spend together. Sheโll have food delivered; youโll share a bottle of liquor between you, eschewing the crystal glasses sheโs got displayed somewhere near by. Valeria rarely giggles, but when youโre both trying to figure out what goes where and how many times you have to press a button and dios mio why is it shaped like that, sheโll laugh like the world has never once rested on her shoulders.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Valeria is synonymous with unfair. Why should she give you what you want, when itโs so easy to make you come, hmm? You can wait. Sheโs enjoying herself.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make)
Not loud at all, actually. In the throes of pleasure, Valeriaโs moans are low, breathy, like sheโs trying to hide them. This is your chance; murmur to her about how beautiful she looks, about how much you crave her when sheโs away. Listen as those moans sharpen, heighten into quick, stabbing whimpers, as if sheโs relaxing just enough not to think about how much noise sheโs making. Sheโll almost never scream for you, but every noise you can draw from her inscribes itself in your memory as if chiseled into stone.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
Valeriaโs into men the same way a vegetarian might be into burgers. She tried them, she liked them, and she doesnโt blame others for partaking. Sheโs just found that not only can she live without them, but she actively prefers her other options. If you like men, she sincerely enjoys indulging your crushes; she finds that she enjoys them more through you than anything else. Just rememberโyou belong to her.
X = X-ray (letโs see whatโs going on under those clothes)
Thereโs no denying it; Valeria is fit. Gringa gymfluencers wish they could be her. A narrow waist, flared hips, the best fucking ass in Las Almas; if she bothered with instagram, her thirst traps would go viral every time. But more than this, Valeria is sturdy. You can pick out the individual muscle groups in her back every time she stretches her shoulders, the swell of her biceps when she curls her arms. She doesnโt quite have the height to manhandle you properly, but she can certainly hold you down if you start squirming more than she likes. Her grip strength is also something to behold; she only needs to cup your throat in one hand to remind you of it.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Sheโd have you every day if she could. Barring exhaustion or distraction, she always wants you. Every thought of you she has is woven through with thread of pure want, like a sweet tooth aching to be sated.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Honestly, Valeria couldn't sleep if she tried. When you fall asleep, she watches you, tracing the planes of your face with a gaze more tender than you will ever see. Valeriaโs world is cruel and bloody; there is not a single soul she works with that isnโt eager to see her fall, to take her place. She canโt miss a single step. She canโt make one mistake. Her existence is balanced on a knifeโs edge, every single day.
But when she looks at you, she forgets. Maybe only briefly, in the space between heartbeats. But she does, and in those tiny spaces she can think about the rings she has hidden away, the dress sheโs going to buy you, the villa in Spain waiting for you to light it up together. This is why she wants you so badly; why you are the only goddamn person on this earth who matters to her. She is not El Sin Nombre with you; she is just Valeria, deeply in love, andโfor once in her lifeโat peace.
Young people donโt know when I joined this website a decade and a half ago we used to have to walk to the post button and back and it was uphill both ways
Everyone in the notes being like oh yeah the reblog button used to be at the top of the post and you had to scroll back to the top I forgot about that I was just shit posting ๐ญ how could I forget after my first reblog of Colors of the sky
We need to figure out how to communicate "thank you, that was very cool" to whales. And also "please do not do that, that was scary", but that's secondary. Imagine what kind of shit humans would get up to if any time you're out and doing things, there's an above zero chance that you hear a handful of beetles making a tiny sound of waow. nice. and a round of teeny tiny applause.
fandom etiquette as a whole died when people who didnโt grow up on fandoms became stans during lockdown, yes, but why am i seeing people openly mocking fics on twitter. why am i seeing screenshots of fics with captions like โbro what is this ๐ญ.โ why am i seeing people mock fic writers for not knowing how sports or theater or college or any other organization operates in the real world.
โcollege is absolutely nothing like thisโ โwhy are we writing four people on the team scoring a hat trick in one gameโ โso tech work is nothing like this, hope that helps!โ
if you donโt like a fic, and if you canโt suspend your belief enough to enjoy a fic that exaggerates or ignores real-world orgs, you donโt have to read it. you donโt have to screenshot it and put it on blast for twitter. you donโt have to post a link to it in the replies. the back button is literally there on your phone. itโs not giving babyโs first fandom anymore, itโs giving entitled asshole and it isnโt as cute as you think it is.
"i don't comment on ao3 because i don't wanna be annoying or weird" skill issue + you greatly underestimate the power dynamic here, writing multi paragraph comments is like feeding a bunch of deeply insane and possibly starved ducks at the park and watch them go completely mad over having received a piece of bread
Claire Danesโฆ your manic, unraveling, rapidly losing her grip on reality, wide-eyed gaze is unrivaled. You deserve a boatload of Emmyโs just for that.
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