𝓣𝓸 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓻𝓼

our love for you is a stream of colours, extending beyond our sky. TW: Pregnancy & Baby loss

[untouchablestarling]

Soon you will be two years old.

That’s a long time for us to be apart my darling.

But even the heavens themselves cannot stop my love from reaching you.

[untouchablestarling]

I want nothing more than to kiss your forever sleeping face one more time.

[untouchablestarling]

I just wish you lived to see today and everyday,

But we have no tomorrows, or sunrise mornings.

[untouchablestarling]

Sitting with the knowledge that it has been an entire year since we lost you makes it so incredibly hard to breathe.

I miss you. I love you. You’re forever mine.

[untouchablestarling]

happy 1st birthday in the stars my darling son, we love you now, forever, and for always.

[hopeaftertrauma]

[untouchablestarling]

I just want to scream to the world that you were here.

That you existed too.

That you were ours, and ours alone.

And that we loved you.

[untouchablestarling]

To close my eyes and feel your tiny hand wrapped around my finger,

Is a heartbreak I give myself daily.

a reminder of what was.

When eyes flutter open,

a reminder of what truly is.

[angelic-decay]

My sobs replace

the silence of my babies cries

When their spirits

wake me at 3am

[smasuo]

My baby died. Please do not find the silver lining, the life lesson or the solution. My baby died.

So many people try to show their condolences by trying to solve the grief. You cannot solve anything. My baby died. There is no life lesson to be learned, no silver lining to see.

What I need is to sit in the silence. To sit with my grief. I need to cry & move through all the emotions to honor my baby. I need my baby to not be forgotten, to not become an unmentionable. Please don't think you are reminding me of my dead baby. I think about it 24/7, I will never forget. Talking about my baby brings me comfort, like his memory is still alive & I'm doing right by him in honoring his memory.

[untouchablestarling]

Today I washed your clothes,

The scent is soft and sweet.

Today I washed your blanket,

It’s handmade with love. its colours bright.

Today I washed your socks,

And I folded them up real neat.

Today I washed your hats,

Wishing they’d cover your hairs, I imagine to be light.

Today I washed your onesies,

Craving the sound of your heartbeat.

Today I washed your clothes,

Knowing they would never fit just right.

Today I washed your socks,

Even though they would have been too big on your feet.

Today I washed your blanket,

Hoping I would of had the chance to swaddle you up, warm and tight.

Today I washed your hats,

Sadden that I never heard your bleats.

Today I washed your onesies,

To bring comfort that your wings have spread, and you have taken flight.

Today I washed your clothes.

Praying that our limited memories never retreat.

Today I washed your hats,

Your absence from my stomach stinging like bitter frostbite.

Today I washed your socks,

With the heavy feeling of being incomplete

Today I washed your onesies,

Hating the constant ‘what if’ hindsight.

Today I washed your blankets,

Thinking of how we could again meet.

Today I washed your clothes,

Because I know that we tried with all our might.

Today, I washed your clothes.

- Untouchablestarling

[imight-deactivated20250614]

Genuinely sometimes forget that the typical end to a pregnancy is giving birth and a human existing. Like oh…yours didn’t just die after a bit…right

[untouchablestarling]

“ Your pictures are like treasures,

For only our eyes alone.

Tracing each detail on the map,

Of the one we could not bring home. “

- UntouchableStarling

[untouchablestarling]

“ This world is far from fair,

Separating us before we ever had a chance. “

— Untouchablestarling, an empty armed mama.

Should you happen to stumble across this blog, I am so very sorry. But I welcome you with open arms at this unfortunate meeting of loss.

It was this time last year, that I captured this photo of my soon-to-be son’s very first onesie set to go along with an engagement/pregnancy announcement. Naive, excited, nervous, and scared of what wonders motherhood would offer me for the first time. Unknown were the traumatic horrors and heartache that surrounded pregnancy loss. Until it happened to me in the incoming weeks after my announcement.

Now, nearly a year later after having no choice but to welcome this, sometimes unbearable, grief to my table and wading my way through the fog. I feel as though I am ready enough to share my story and my journey that is my motherhood. Loss motherhood, in the only way that I know how, through broken words, and captured memories.

I am no way near a professional that can offer anyone help, but I do offer kinship and support for other parents that may happen to find themselves in the baby loss club. No matter the age, stage, decision or journey one may have experienced . Loss is loss and it is never easy to face the heaviness alone 🤍