Long post ahead!
ColdDays: Part 2
It's fine, it's cool, it's totally okay that you are standing outside the door to a pointless party.
Sometimes I wonder just what Greek gods I pissed off in order to deserve the blatant curse placed upon me when it comes to life! I have done nothing but good in this world, and I get paid back by being forced to attend a stupid party while the temperatures crash to near zero. Who even throws a roof top party in the winter season? Psychos that’s who! Before my cold demeanor has a chance to freeze over the sidewalk, I feel a warmth drape over my body.
“See, I told you, it's cold.” Said Sherry, looking at me like some sort of lost cat. “I put it in the back seat with the seat warmers on. My wonderful Chevy gave you a nice heated sweater, that means she loves you.”
Sarcastically I respond with, “Oh thank you great and heavenly Chevy! I shall bow down to your chrome exterior and provide you with my first born during the winter solstice!”
Sherry chuckles, revealing a wide and sincere smile you only get to have before the world has an opportunity to rip away your whimsy. It's nice.
“My Chevy deserves no sacrifice, it only wants to keep you safe and warm” Sherry replies while rustling my hair. “Now I will drive you home, I don’t care about that. Though I think you will enjoy it, its a chill scene and no one is gonna make you do anything that you don’t want.”
In my hesitance I responded, “I remember our old high school parties where it was mandatory to drink. I never liked alcohol back then, wine is fine, but the scientists back in those days were crafting devious alchemical solutions. I won't be forced to drink?”
“If anyone forces my girl to drink against her will, I will kick the shit out of them myself. Besides, a lot of people here don’t actually drink so you will be fine.” Sherry assured me
“Alright fine, I will take a peak in, shake some hands, and see what the board game selection is like.”
“That’s the spirit! You are gonna get so fucked up on all the board games, I am gonna have to carry you to the car!” Sherry exclaims.
She places her hand on my back firmly, yet softly, as she guides me into the house. While I call any living place a house/home this place was actually one of those fun apartment houses. It looks like a normal house was placed inside of a hydraulic press and squished into a perfect size. The front door had a hand written sign saying “Just walk up the stairs to the right!”. So heading the rules placed by the sign, as I stepped into the house I made my way up the stairs. The walls were lined with pictures of Anna with many different artists and musicians that she had worked with over the years. I wondered if I could earn a place on the wall of fame because I programmed her website. Following that logic, I met the artists as well because they reached out to her via my code!
The music began growing louder as we made our way up to the fifth floor. I could identify the Jazz from a mile away, and I was actually surprised at the lack of modern pop songs. As I made my way through the roof door, horror filled my soul. Everyone was dressed to the nerdy nines! People were dressed in some of the best cardigan and pants combos I have seen. Some people were lightly drinking red wine from fancy glasses, while the majority were drinking from different types of coffee and tea mugs. Sherry had not only saved me from the cold, but also from looking like a cozy party poser. As the door shut behind me, I noticed Anna making her way to me. Anna was dressed in jeans along with a large cardigan with patches of different musical instruments dotting along the arms before crashing into a sprawling musical nova on the back of it. Anna opened one of her arms for a gentle hug.
“Oh my gosh Luna! I am so glad you were able to make it! You looks so nice, I love that sweater.”
Sherry smiled while interjecting, “Thank you, I actually picked it out.”
“Well you always had an impeccable eye for style Sherry. I am glad you were able to make it as well, I am sorry I never sent you an invite. I tried to reach out to your shop on Wednesday but you were closed!”
“I always try to keep the shop closed on Wednesday, Luna sent me this video talking about the psychological relief we can get if we take a mid-week break.”
Hearing my trigger phrase of “Luna” and “Psychological,” I quickly interjected, “It has been shown that if we take two days off like Saturday and Wednesday, it gives you a better recharge than a two-day weekend! It would be better if we could just get Wednesday off while keeping the weekend, but Americans will never give in to efficiency like that. Giving the common woman a break? As if!”
Looking over at the lightly tuned-out Anna, I quickly end my verbal run-on sentence. “So yeah! Thank you for letting me come!”
“Of course, Luna, Sherry, is there anything that I could get you? My friend Barley makes amazing teas, and they can also pour a healthy glass of wine.” Anna says while pointing over to the bar manned by a rather tall bartender wearing a gray beanie and a long-sleeved navy shirt.
“Oh shit, Barley?” Sherry looked over in an astonished stare. “I haven’t seen them since I tatted up their sleeve. I gotta talk to them! Luna, are you going to be okay on your own? Do you need to go to the Oblongs?”
Oblongs was the name of a restaurant that was only a few blocks away from our high school. We made it a point to go every single Friday, then go over to my house to have a sleepover at my house. She came up with an idea to have a code word that translated to “Please get me the fuck out of here”. So we landed on Oblongs after a long night of debate over the code word. It was probably obvious it was code for something, but I was glad to have it. It always makes me feel so safe. Not everyone in life gets a secret code word along with their kick ass best friend willing to do anything to get them out of any situation.
“No, I don’t need to go rn, but we should go soon!” I said
“Roger, Roger,” Sherry responded as she made her way over to the bar.
“So Luna, any drink thoughts?” Anna said
“Oh, do you have any juice? Like apple or orange juice. That would go so hard right now.” I responded excitedly
“I don’t have any up here, but you can go into my kitchen on the third floor to grab a glass. I trust you.” Anna says.
The kitchen was very ornate. It was filled with many futuristic-looking appliances that you usually don't see in older homes in downtown Chicago. Opening the door of the fridge, I was greeted by a beautifully organized array of food and drink, which included the nectar of the gods, apple juice. I decided to pour myself a healthy amount into a wine glass. When you are presented with a wine glass filled with a drink not normally found in it, you must treat your drinking experience like a true sommelier. So I took a few deep breaths, swirled it around, sniffed, and drank just enough to let the apple flavor profile wash over my tongue. It was a divine drink, and I would have placed its worth in the peak amounts of about 10-15 bucks. I stood alone in the kitchen when I heard some people walking in from the first floor, making idle conversation.
“So there I am at my desk, when I saw the opportunity to dash for the elevator. Let me tell you, I have never run so fast in my life! They don't pay me enough to stay overtime on a Friday! Anyway, I hope I don't stand out too much. I had no time to go home and change out of my financial attire.”
I knew that voice. It was as smooth and mature as a fine aged wine. It had the confidence of the gravitational constant of our planet. Every word asked you to get closer, until your face was able to get so close that you could feel their soft breath brush across your cheek. It was perfect, it was Zoey.
Desperately trying to look cool, I decided to lean up against the kitchen door frame. Not in a dorky way, but in a fun 90’s movie siren way. Like I both did not care about where I was, while also looking super fucking hot. Then the lights around me would shine, and the main character from the movie would fall in love with me at that moment. I tried not to look directly at her as I saw Zoey climb the stairs to the third floor. In fact, I looked away, lightly sipping my fine apple juice. Then I heard her beginning to climb the fourth set of stairs, and alarm bells started ringing in my head. How could she not see me? The beautiful vixen ominously yet intriguingly leaning against the door! Before I had time to come up with a casual way to draw attention to her, I shouted out, “He-Hey Zoey! How's it hanging girrrrrrrrrl” FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK NO. WRONG RESPONSE.
“Hey, Luna! Oh my gosh, long time no see! How have you been?” Zoey said, her words covered in beautiful ivy.
She looked stunning as usual. She was wearing a black long-sleeve top with a white collar. Along with a dark knee-length pencil skirt and a pair of black sheer tights. All of it tied together with a pair of black high-heeled pumps, a beautiful shade of lipstick, and some thin-framed glasses. She was beautiful, and her speaking to me made my cheeks blush a bright pink. Good news, I was no longer cold. Bad news, I can barely talk.
“I have been a totally amazing girl! I-I-I have been hitting the town, settling in, and now I am here drinking some fine wine!” I blurted out in a mess of words.
“Oh yeah? What have you been drinking?” Zoey turned to the girls she came in with and said, “Go upstairs and save me a spot somewhere warm. I'll be up soon.”
Zoey approached me at the door frame, and I could smell her amazing perfume. It had a light floral scent, perfectly enhancing her entire vibe. Unconsciously, I leaned slightly forward to smell more as she passed me and headed into the kitchen to grab herself a glass.
“So, Luna, where is the glass? I know with your smart head, you picked out the best wine here.”
As she opened the fridge, I responded.
“Well, um, that's um, actually a funny story, I am not drinking wine. I am drinking some apple juice.” I cringed at myself as I tried to come up with a non-childish excuse for having a giant glass full of apple juice. “Before I start to drink, I-I like to have something more substantial that's not alcohol. When I saw it in the fridge, I just could not resist.”
Zoey opened the fridge, pulled out the partially empty bottle of apple juice, and poured a small amount into her glass. I could feel my body tense up, almost like a cramp, my body desperately trying to contain the joy and dread that I felt as I watched her pour herself a glass.
“So, Luna, what have you been up to while I have been away?”
“Mainly just taking on some i-indie jobs around before I find a place I want to settle in career-wise. What about you?”
Zoey sighed deeply, “Oh, same shit, different day. My boss wants me to work as long as humanly possible while giving me virtually no work to do. Seriously, at the beginning of the day, I have nothing to do, and it stays like that until after lunch. At that point, my boss drops the equivalent of two days of work on my desk and wants me to finish it by EOD. Who has time for that? Not me, I will tell you that.”
“Yeah, you don't deserve that! It sounds like your boss has been jorking it all day, then after he remembers that he has a job, he gives it all to you. Men are gross.”
Zoey laughs while placing her hand on my shoulder, “Oh God, Luna, yeah, that's probably right. You are such a breath of fresh air. I don't think I have heard the term ‘Jorking it’ since I moved here.”
“I bring a classic hometown charm wherever I go, that's why I have so many job prospects. I put that right on top of my skill set, right alongside professional rollerblading, and high-stakes gaming.”
Zoey's face lights up with recognition, “OH MY GOD YOUR ROLLERBLADING. Do you remember how we used to go sometimes, and that weird guy giving out the skates would try to hit on us?”
“Oh my gosh, yeah! He really thinks that he had all that while working minimum wage at a rollerblading rink.” I responded
“Well, to be fair, we were two smoking-hot single girls out on the town, everyone had to try to see if they could get into the gates of heaven.”
“Is that some kind of innuendo? Also, men do not deserve to hit on us in public; it is a burden placed upon us via a long-standing patriarchal norm that we should be fighting. Now if a woman tried to hit on me, that's a different story…”
“Yes, it is an innuendo, and you are right, I would love for girls to hit on me more directly. Instead, they stand awkwardly in door frames trying to look like a hot commodity…"
I froze. My body began to lightly shake; it felt like when your leg falls asleep, and you get a stabbing sensation, but I felt it all the way to my core. I tried to think of a response. God, I tried to blurt out any response, but I just couldn't.
Zoey laughed again, “Don't worry, I am kidding! I know you don't look at me that way, I am just teasing you. Though, who did you think I was when I walked up the stairs? Did you think I was Sherry? When will I finally get to meet her?” Zoey said teasingly
A pit began forming in my stomach, and I felt a physical response to the thought. Not of disgust, but of a deep sense of anxiety. “God no, I don't like her! I mean, no. I don't… Listen, she is great, but I have known her since we were kids basically. She has been one of my greatest support systems. I mean, she agreed to move out here with me. Besides, she has some better prospects, and she is the whole package. But I like someone else, who I actually really, really, like.”
Zoe's eyes began to light up. “Ooooo, who is the lucky girl who has caught the attention of the super genius computer scientist? I bet she is one real lucky woman to catch your eyes.”
How can a person say something so flirtatiously, while also not flirting with them? Neurotypical people give me an insane amount of anxiety. I wish I could read her mind and tell exactly what she means when she says it. Along the way, I would love to learn how to be the perfect woman for her.
I laughed nervously, “Oh, I am sure we will get to that! But you were asking about Sherry, right? She is actually upstairs! Look out for the blonde goth girl, and you will have found her. I think she is the only one of her kind within a ten-mile radius.” My breathing intervals began shrinking slightly, and I tried to anchor myself to this plane of reality long enough to get through talking to this insanely hot woman.
“Alright, well, I will leave you to your fine wine, and I will go look out for Sherry. I love your coat, by the way. Very smart.” Zoey began walking out of the kitchen and up the stairs.
As soon as she was out of view, I leaned back against a wall and began slowly sliding down until I was in a nice, comfy ball on the floor. Being in the same room as Zoey never used to be this hard, but a female crush has a way of rooting deep into your soul after a while. Sometimes I wonder who decided to make queer love such a painful and yearning experience. They really cranked up the difficulty; queer women would have ruled the world at this point.
I took a few 10-count breaths while pulling out my phone and my corded headphones. I popped both of them in while shuffling my favorite playlist, “Songs for Yearning (Luna Beware)”. The first song being Good Luck, Babe! By Chappell Roan did not help.
Thank you for reading! If you liked it, please let me know!
titsay
blakekathryn
annaxmalina
stormborns
tangentwithtanner
gummygunk
janainaart
