Is tumblr still a thing??
A couple days ago I decided to check my tumblr and I went through all my post and I realized how negative I was. I was in a negative headspace but I had a bit of hope. When I look at those post this is what i think of her:
she is sad, she is alone, but she want to remain hopeful. I feel a bit bad for her. I wish I could hug her and tell her everything is going to be ok.
Looking back I realized how hard I can be on my self. I need to be thankful because I have gotten so far. But I still am that person always wanting more.
I am constantly stressing about the future and I need to start learning to appreciate the moment. I am working on it. its not easy!!
so updates: I love doing these because i get to look back and see how much i have grown. (these posts are for my future self) or anyone that might want to get into my head.
I graduated school and I got a job right after college I didn't event get to have a break. like always. so grateful for this opportunity I have learned so much.
I am currently thinking about switching careers and maybe will talk about that in the near future.
I recently started a medication and I'm doing good so far better than ever honestly. but not perfect. Hoping one day I can go into remission but again will see.
My mental Health is not ok but idk I over think all the time. and some days I do feel down because I don’t know what I am doing with my life. I am afraid of the uncertain future. all my life I have always had a plan. in 8th grade I had decided that I wanted to go to college and it took me almost 7 years to get my bachelor’s. Now that I am done with school I really don’t knw what to do.
That gets me down because I think to my self “ I have no passion or a specific career that I want to get into. but I am trying to just work hard and maybe one day i will get there and find my passion.
I try to remind myself: You are here to experience the Human Experience. Enjoy the good and bad because one day you will not be on this earth.
When I looked at all my post I just noticed how heartbroken I was. Most of my post where about someone who had hurt me.
Well well guess what!?!?! I am still single
single for 10 years yes!!!
I have talked, dated, hooked up and gotten into some situations with some guys. so I haven't been single single. For the most part I was just hooking up. Recently, I was in a situationship with a guy for 3 years and after that I was Hooking up with the same guy(a different one) for over 2 years.
What I have learned so far is that I am done giving myself to just anybody. I wanted to give my self to a man because I wanted that affection and touch by a man. It was hard to find a serious relationship so I had settle for a hookup or situation.
I am at a point where I am done with that. I want to give myself to a man that loves, respects and cares for me. A man that is truly excited to see me and spend time with me not just in bed.
So I am currently on that journey which means I also have to work on myself and focus on becoming a better woman because at the end of the day you are who you attract and I am not healed specially after dealing with these men. you would think my ex really messed me up but no there are really toxic men out there , I have experience. I know exactly what i want and how i want to be treated and I will not settle for less.
I wish I could share more but I don’t want the wrong person to read this. when I look back I will know exactly what I'm talking about.
Nothing in life is perfect, we live and we learn right? That is what every one says