lesbianism so bad it has me hyperfixating on a couple from a comedy sketch show where both characters are played by men in wigs and their attraction to each other is implied in one (1) scene and the scene is not even in the show itself but in the non canon spin off film. anyway
OKAYYYYY but this!! I have a very elaborate head cannon that Bernice is the ‘someone, once’ that Pauline thinks of wistfully during her interview with Ross. Based on very minor scraps of connections/ completely made up thoughts:
In the film we learn that Bernice knows Pauline well enough to ask for her help - Bernice would never need the job centre and Pauline wouldn’t go to church, so in my head they’ve known each other for a long time
I know it’s from a deleted scene in the non-canon film but when Bernice calls Pauline ‘efficient, ruthless, strong, some might say mannish’, you can’t tell me that this isn’t a genuine compliment with a teasing insult tacked on the end before it gets too sentimental - it speaks of a deep connection and friendship between the two
I mean who else would Pauline go out of her way to help aside from an old friend??
Pauline and Bernice are around the same age and so likely went to the same (the only?) school in Royston Vasey
They have very similar personalities (i.e. cantankerous, foul mouthed, egregious ) and we know that Pauline left school early - are you telling me that teenage Pauline and Bernice didn’t get kicked out of school together and wind up smoking/ drinking white lightning in the park??
Obviously we then have the classic enemies to friends to lovers pipeline because how could they not
Maybe they get caught by Bernice’s guardian (dad? grandad?), who forces her off to catholic school/ the church??
And by the time Bernice gets back she assumes Pauline has moved on and feels to embarrassed/ afraid to try and pick things back up, when both of them are desperate for the other one to get back in touch??
But eventually neither of them do, so they both get on with their lives and try to forget
At Mike and Cheryl’s wedding Bernice offers them a broken pen to sign the certificate. TELL ME that this isn’t the actions of a petty middle aged lesbian who’s first love was obsessed w/ pens. i dare you