Hello. Call me Rider or some variation of it. I like shooters, VN style stories, Magic: The Gathering, metal music and writing. Ask box is always open.
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Rules:
-all the rules from my main blog apply here with the exception of nsfw not being allowed of course
-no toilet stuff
-reader is written as gn but if genitals are necessary they will have a cock
Author's note: Very small cnc warning for the first character.
NSFW BELOW
Due to her hobby of curating scary stories Baochai has developed certain… tastes. As scary as getting kidnapped by a psycho is, there is a certain eroticism in it.
She loves it when you roleplay with her. Pretending to be a masked killer that violates innocent young girls. Tying her up, roughing her up while she can’t fight back all while a rag muffles her screams and cries. Of course all of it is her idea.
She does have some limitations though. She has an image to uphold so you aren’t allowed to leave marks anywhere they’ll be visible. She also doesn’t like getting tied up too tight, she doesn’t plan on trying to get free, she just wants the feeling of helplessness.
Baochai also writes her own stories and uses them as inspiration for what to do with you and vice versa. This will sometimes lead to situations where she will try to get up after you’re done with her to write down her experiences even though she really shouldn’t.
Ryoshu is an expert in shibari. She has a very special collection of ropes she takes very good care of just for use on you.
She likes to use the rope to pose you and cover you in intricate patterns. She even has some pulleys set up in her room just for you. Sometimes she’ll make you balance in a strange position while others she’ll leave you dangling. She’s very skilled with the rope. Her intention isn’t to hurt you but to restrain you so despite not being able to move the whole time you won’t be leaving with any rope burn.
She of course takes photos of all her “creations” for her secret album. You can sometimes see her absentmindedly flipping through the pages when alone and chuckling to herself.
If you ever wish to try being the one doing the tying instead of being tied up she’d be happy to teach you. The only problem is that she couldn’t instruct you very well if she was being tied up so she’ll rope (no pun intended) someone else into it.
Ishmael has a very big thing for being tied up. She also has insanely high standards. She likes to be tied up so tight she can’t move and if you can’t satisfy that, she’ll take it up to herself to teach you.
You’ll spend hours learning knots with her and practising how to tie them. After that you will have to face the fact that Ishmael doesn’t know her boundaries very well. She will keep demanding you make it tighter and tighter despite it not being the best idea. This leads to you having several embarrassing conversations with Dante about help with “rope related injuries”.
Ishmael wouldn’t be too keen on tying you up though. To her the appeal is being helpless in a situation but not feeling scared because she trusts you. Being the one doing the tying just doesn’t have the same appeal to her.
Sinclair has had very normal desires most of his life. Outside of very small crushes he’s rarely desired anything more than the very basic.
However by the nature of his work he is often faced with things he’d rather not see. One day while fighting the pink shoes he got an idea. That idea eventually got bigger and became several ideas. Those ideas eventually became a desire.
He of course wouldn’t dare speak about this to anyone much less you. His plan was to just take it to his grave. And he would have if Ryoshu didn’t just tell you straight up much to his embarrassment.
Even after you assure him that you’re fine with him tying you up he’s very nervous about actually doing it. He’ll constantly check if you’re alright and if anything hurts. Though after he’s comfortable he sometimes forgets himself and gets so rough you may have to tap out. He’s very apologetic afterwards.
Which Limbus characters do you think would have an dacnophilia kink? Which is loving biting or being bitten
LIMBUS COMPANY KINK EVENT
[DACNOPHILIA/BITING KINK]
Author's note: Didn't want to include any bloodfiends since it felt cheap and obvious but they get an honorable mention.
NSFW BELOW
Kromer is very much a dacnophile going both ways. With her hatred of the mechanical reflected in her adoration of the flesh. She loves any way she can mark your skin and that includes bites. She doesn’t really care what part of your body either. She’ll slide her tongue around your body then settle for a spot and bite in. If she bites hard enough to draw blood she’ll spend some time licking it up or even sucking which will leave a bruise on top of it.
She also likes it when you bite her. She spends a lot of time afterwards tracing the bitemarks you leave on her skin, reminiscing about the feeling of your teeth sinking into her skin.
She wears the bitemarks proudly, using the lack of a high collar on her uniform to show them off. She doesn’t really care what others think.
Yuri can’t really explain why she enjoys it when you bite her. Perhaps she picked up some cat instincts from interacting with abnormalities too much, perhaps she’s conditioned for abuse or perhaps it’s just plain old masochism. Whatever it is she just knows that getting bitten by you does something to her.
The first time it was spontaneous. You were taking her from behind when she suddenly begged you to bite her neck. By the way you felt her pussy clench you knew this wasn’t going to be a one time thing.
She can’t bite you though. Even if you like it she can’t seem to put any strength into it.
To Heathcliff it just comes naturally. He is usually a very loud person but growing up in an environment where walls were thin and any sound echoed to everyone in the mansion he had to learn how to stay quiet during intimate moments.
So for Heathcliff it really starts out as a way to keep himself quiet and not have everyone on the bus know what he was doing to you.
It does grow into something more. Seeing you covered in his bites makes him feel secure in a way. He likes marking you as his. He already made the mistake of letting someone he loves be taken away.
He’s also ready if you want to return the favor. He likes getting rough so he doesn’t mind if you want to bite him back.
Ryoshu is very methodical with her bites. To her your skin is a canvas for her to create her masterpiece. She will bite you precisely, sometimes hard, sometimes soft, in very specific places. It’s always well planned out.
When she’s satisfied she sets up the lights and makes you pose for pictures. She keeps them all in an album she doesn’t show to anyone. After that foreplay is done and she takes you all for herself.
Her bites afterward are erratic and spontaneous. She’s not trying to make something, she's trying to destroy it. And destroy you she will.
She will let you bite her if you want to but she’ll guide you through it. She won’t tell you exactly where to do it, instead playing a game of hot and cold. She’ll reward you for success and punish you for mistakes. She’d even help you start your own photography album if you want. Giving you lessons about lighting and composition.
Author's note: Warning for muzzles and handcuffs. And blood of course.
NSFW BELOW
Despite always complaining Sancho went along with any request you had for her. Much like how she did with her father.
It was simple enough. A private movie night. It was one of those human activities her father took a liking to after Bari showed it to him. Participants would dress themselves in loosely fitting plain garments and gather around a screen to watch moving pictures together.
The only changes were that you would be the only person with her and that she had to wear two things. The first were hardblood handcuffs; precisely made so that they wouldn’t hurt to wear yet still be strong enough so that she may not free herself without someone else’s help. The second was a muzzle of more ordinary steel, its purpose was only preventing her from biting into anything. She didn’t know why she had to wear these since you refused to explain but she’d find out soon enough.
It started like normal. She sat on the couch with a straight posture a small distance away from you. She’d never admit it but this movie was a favorite of hers. An action packed tale of a dual pistol wielding fixer who rebelled against his wing and took down an entire corporation. Even through her feigned disinterest it was clear she was paying attention to every moment of the movie.
That was until she smelled something. Blood. YOUR blood. She looked at you and noticed you had made a small cut under the left side of your jaw. A nick like one would get while shaving. Enough only to draw a little bit of blood but not enough for a flow to start.
She tried her best to ignore it but to no avail. The movie in front of her was an unfocused blur while all her thoughts tried to suppress her hunger. All sound was drowned out by the ringing in her ears trying to convince her to give into the desire.
She started scooting closer the way people in those “romcoms” her father enjoyed watching with Bari did. She laid her head on your shoulder trying to hide her bloodlust beneath the physical affection she’s usually so averse to.
The smell was intoxicating. She wanted just a taste... just one bite… but the cage on her mouth stopped her. She stuck her tongue out to try and get even the smallest taste but it couldn’t reach out far enough.
She wanted to take it off but her hands remained bound behind her back. Hopelessly she ground her face on your neck as if she kept at it she’d get a drop of your blood. You slipped your hand behind the waistband of her underwear and started rubbing the outside of her pussy in the rhythm of her face on your neck.
This was all part of your plan. She never should’ve gotten closer. She wanted to get away from the scent that made her mind stop working. Yet she couldn’t. It was so close it was driving her insane. Just as she thought about resisting it you plunged your fingers into her making her inhale sharply. All thoughts of resistance erased in an instant as she got blooddrunk off your scent.
You pumped your fingers in every time she took a breath and slid them out with every exhale. Not only would her mind be assaulted by the pleasure of your smell but also the pleasure of her nethers. The simultaneous sensations were ruining her ability to think. The only thing keeping her sane was that you didn’t let her feel too good. Your fingers always avoiding that spot. No matter how she tried shifting herself toward you or how much she squeezed her thighs around your hand.
“P-please…” she begged. She didn’t know what she was begging for; she just knew it was her only option.
“Please what?” you teased her.
“Please… don’t make me beg…” the irony escaped her at the moment.
You took a moment to think.
“Do you promise not to bite?”
“Yes…”
You dragged a finger over the cut collecting just enough blood for her. You slowly brought it through the prison over her mouth and then it clamped shut around it. Not biting; just sliding her tongue around trying to savor every bit of the flavor.
Mimicking her tongue you violated her g-spot with your fingers. Sancho was being overwhelmed by pleasure from both sides. The blood and the orgasm obliterated whatever was left of her thoughts. With a dazed expression she fell back onto the couch. Her breathing was heavy, her gaze unfocused and her underwear and sweatpants completely soaked through.
Maybe you went too hard on her. You felt kind of guilty seeing her like that. Maybe you should at least get her a change of clothes at least.
You got up and started unlocking the handcuffs. She probably felt humiliated enough by what she did so you didn’t want to further embarrass her by changing her clothes.
Then suddenly… nothing. In front of you lay only the empty cuffs that restrained her moments ago. Then you felt a scent. The all too familiar copper scent filled the room. A sound of something metal hitting the floor behind you. You thought about turning around but before you could there was another sound. A click.
You looked down and the handcuffs were now around your wrists.
This post features Relius' assistant!reader so the context needed for this post can be found here.
NSFW BELOW (this one gets weird)
“Heating issues?”
Izanami was standing in front of you completely naked. She asked you to move her usual maintenance forward since she was having problems.
You put the back of your hand on her forehead.
“Your temperature doesn’t seem to be that high.”
You lifted up her arm and took an inquisitive lick of her armpit, tasting the salty sweat coating it.
“Cooling seems to be working fine.”
You sat down on a nearby chair and wrote down what you knew on a clipboard.
“If it’s a serious issue why didn’t you ask Relius, he knows more about the specifics of your body?” you asked her.
“The issue seems to correlate with your presence.” she answered.
While she was telling you that you noticed how her crotch seemed to glisten under the lights of the lab. This gave you an idea of what could be the root of her issues.
You scooted closer on your chair and inserted two fingers into her vagina. You used them to feel around inside and gauge how wet she was.
As you quickly noticed she was quite wet. You looked over at where her clothes were and noticed her underwear was stained. You were now pretty sure you knew what was causing her issue.
“You should lay down on the table.” you told her as you licked your fingers clean of her mucus.
When Izanami was safely secured to the table you detached her limbs and put them on the other table. You carefully lifted up her front panel and put it next to her. Now you could easily see and access all her internal biomechanics.
You watched for a moment, fascinated by all her insides moving and working in tandem. You could sit for hours watching her lungs rise and fall but you had other things to do.
You activated the scanning equipment above her and turned your head to the monitor. Your suspicions were confirmed on the screen.
“You are ovulating.” you explained simply.
“Can you fix it?” she asked you.
“There isn’t anything to fix. It simply means you’re healthy. I’m more surprised it hasn’t happened before. I’ll need to go through your history. Anyways you should prepare for your period, that's going to be a far bigger problem.” you ranted.
“Can you remove my womb?”
“I don’t think so. Your vessel needs to be as similar to the origin as possible to contain you. Plus it would definitely negatively impact your health. Though I doubt the eggs are fertile considering your… nature.”
As you went on with your speech you noticed Izanami slightly pouting in annoyance.
“Well there is a way to relieve the symptoms.” you teased.
You raised the table up and pulled her bottom towards the edge.
You used your fingers to spread her moist vagina open and inserted your tongue. Izanami would be thrashing around in pleasure if she had anything to thrash around with. As you licked inside her all she could do is slightly arch her back.
You could see her heart start pumping faster as she writhed under your attack. Deciding it was not enough you reached out with your hand and started to massage her womb. Izanami’s eyes went wide and her tongue was dangling out of her mouth.
It didn’t take long for her to finally cum. Her eyes crossed as she lost herself in pleasure. She would be crushing your head with her legs if she could.
You pulled away happy you were able to please her but your thoughts were interrupted by an ominous glow. Skeletons were rising from the ground. They stripped you of your clothes and forced you to your knees while others put Izanami back together.
As they disappeared Izanami raised her leg and put it on your shoulder perfectly framing her pussy in your view.
A string of spit descended from her tongue and you opened your mouth and caught it. By accepting it you accepted this was going to be a very long night.
Es was looking up at you while gripping your sleeve. Her voice was steady when she asked you but with the pleading look in her eyes it was clear she was unsure how you’d react.
“Yes, doing it tonight will almost guarantee our success.” she answered.
***
You were no strangers to seeing each other naked but it was a bit awkward just standing there.
“Lay down on your back.”
“Understood.” Es said as she did what you asked.
You got onto the bed after her and started to massage her boobs. You put your mouth on one of her nipples and started to suck, occasionally lightly biting it.
“Nngh… T-there is no reason to do that…” Es stammered out.
“Do you want me to stop then?” you teased her before going back in.
“N-no…”
You lowered one of your hands down. Gliding across her stomach to get to her nethers. You slid two fingers in to start pleasuring her there too.
“H-haa… Y-you have to stop…”
“Why?”
“B-because… I-I’m going to… kyaaa~” Es trembled as her orgasm hit.
You pulled back to see her eyes glazed over, her breathing ragged from what she just experienced.
As her vision refocused she saw you get closer to her face to kiss her.
“Let’s make you a mommy.” you teased as you pulled away.
You grabbed Es by the legs dragging her towards you and then lifting her legs up and spreading them.
Es gripped your shoulders as you slowly inserted yourself into her. As you picked up the pace she squeezed harder. She was too dazed to say anything. That's why you used the chance to lower your head and whisper into her ear.
“I love you.” you purred into her ear.
She spent a few moments looking into your eyes before she let go of your shoulders and grabbed your head. She pulled you into a deep kiss. This wasn’t like her usual kisses; she was aggressively using her tongue. It was almost like she was trying to tie your tongues together, only stopping for a second so you could catch your breath before continuing.
Es was getting close. When you pulled away to breathe you told her you were getting close too. She pulled your face in one final time holding it in place as she locked her legs behind you so you could cum together.
As you’re laying on your backs side by side trying to catch your breath Es manages to say one last thing.
“I love you too.”
You scooped her up to spoon her. Kissing the back of her head and putting a hand on her stomach. She puts her hand on yours and drifts off to sleep, thinking about the future you’ll have together.
***
“cough, cough, cough YOU’RE WHAT!?” Mei asked after almost choking on her drink.
A quiet wet sound echoed through the dark room. Kokonoe was sitting alone in her underwear, lit only by the screens, one hand on the mouse and another down at her crotch.
She hated it. Going through heat. As rare as it was and how short it was compared to time she spent not in heat she still found it an incredible hassle. Other than the constant state of arousal and the stench that would always fill the room the worst part was how hard it was for her to actually get off.
She had tried all sorts of material and toys to no avail. Right now she resorted to simply rubbing herself while disinterestedly scrolling simply out of obligation.
As she sat there her mind suddenly drifted to someone. There was a new rookie field agent she had been using to run errands. She did it with all rookies up to the point they realised they were being used or someone explained it to them. But this one was different. They didn’t seem to mind being used like that. Some of the other agents told them they could just ignore her but they kept doing all the things she asked. She started pulling up their file. She noticed the way they seemed to get a bit flustered around her.
While there were many who tried hitting on her only to be sent running. This is the first time someone had such a… cute… reaction to her. Kokonoe started pulling up some recordings she shouldn’t have. Due to the lone nature of tasks given to field agents they had their own small “dorms” instead of sleeping in usual barracks. These weren’t supposed to be under surveillance but she had her own system installed to keep more control.
She started speeding up. She imagined getting them to service her. They were already listening to any request she had. She imagined them ravishing her, doing anything she wanted and following her every instruction. Maybe she’d let them do what they want, maybe let them cum and then they could… together… The sense of catharsis she felt when her orgasm finally hit her was incredible.
She started cleaning up and quickly closed the tab she had opened on their genetic information. The experience did have her thinking if the thought of them could satisfy her this well, maybe pursuing her idea of getting them to help her relieve herself was worth it.
***
In practice she wasn’t as smooth as she hoped.
“Fuck me.”
“Huh?” You couldn’t do much but be completely taken aback by the question.
“Did you not hear me?” she asked.
“No it’s just… Why are you asking me?”
“Because I’m going through heat and need someone to relieve me”
“Ok but why me?”
“You got a problem with doing it? Do I disgust you? You have something against half-beastkin?”
“No that’s not it it’s just-”
“Then there’s no problem!” She cut you off and dragged you off to her room.
She didn’t have a proper bed and instead relied on a mattress on the floor. You watched her as she got on all fours and pulled her pants and underwear down enough to give you access to her vagina. She wasn’t bothering with taking anything else off.
“Well what are you waiting for?”
Her question shook you from your daze. You lowered yourself and began to fuck her. Kokonoe was shoving her head into her pillows both to hide the expression she was making but also to muffle any noise she made if it escaped.
You were having a decently enjoyable time. This isn’t what you had in mind but beggars can’t be choosers. When you finally managed to make her cum you were promptly told to leave. While you could complain about not getting to cum you were pretty sure she didn’t care.
Meanwhile in the room Kokonoe was angrily masturbating. Cursing herself for sending you away like that before you could truly fill her desires.
***
The next session was far different. While you were giving her your all Kokonoe seemed far harder to please. Nothing seems to have changed but she just can’t seem to get pushed past the edge.
“Close your eyes!” she barks a command at you.
You do it. You hear some shuffling and after a while you decide to open your eyes again. You see she is now on her back and has fully taken off her pants and underwear since it’d be an obstacle in this position.
“Hey, what did I say about looking!?” You quickly close your eyes again.
“Sorry it’s just hard to do anything if I can’t see what I’m doing.”
“Just shut up, I'll guide you.” She slowly points you towards her entrance and you get started with thrusting. Kokonoe bites down on a finger to suppress her voice while she watches your face. She loves how she can see everything you’re feeling in your expression despite your eyes being closed. Your expressions of pleasure keep pushing her further and further and when she sees you about to cum she finally gets hit by her own orgasm.
While you’re happy about getting to not only finish but finish at the same time as her you are kicked out with the same speed as last time.
***
At the start of your next meeting she immediately laid on her back and told you to close your eyes. Before long she again realises it’s not doing it for her. She tries some stuff on herself but it doesn't help.
“Look at me”
“What?” you ask, eyes still closed.
“I want you to look at me.” You opened your eyes. You could see her jacket was open showing you her perky breasts.
“Hey, eyes up here!” she says while motioning with two fingers for you to maintain eye contact.
You could see the things she felt in her expressions despite how much she tried to hide what she was feeling. Kokonoe was watching your eyes very carefully. What was really doing it for her wasn’t the fact she could see your expressions better but the fact that you could now see hers. Despite her trying to hold back it was plain to see what she was feeling.
You did sneak glances at her body which she scolded you for as if unaware of her own hypocrisy. As she saw you getting closer she herself got closer and the knowledge that you knew was what sent her off the edge.
After that you were once again unceremoniously kicked out of the room.
***
When the time came for you to relieve her again you knew what to do. She got into position, you stripped to give her some eye candy and got to work. You did your best to maintain eye contact and ignore her eyes meandering.
Kokonoe was pretty much satisfied. You were doing everything she wanted. While it was slow and steady she could clearly feel herself get closer to the edge bit by bit. There was something else present in her mind. It wasn’t the heat but another feeling. Like hunger, a certain greed. She didn’t want to just cum. She wanted to cum good, and to feel good. She wanted to give into the greed. She wanted to feed the fire. Not to just satisfy the bare minimum but to get more.
“Kiss me!” she commanded. While you were stunned for a second you knew questioning her wouldn’t get any results. You started to slowly lean towards her only for her to close the distance twice as fast. She was nowhere near conservative with her kissing having immediately stuck her tongue in your mouth. But there was a clear sense she didn’t just want to do that. She wanted you to do the same. She wanted for the two of you to become entangled up here just as much as you were down there. She wanted to become so close that you could combine… create… The orgasm hit and it was the hardest one she had so far. She gave into her greed.
She was still far from satisfying it but that would have to wait. For now you were getting kicked out again.
***
The following session was seemingly spectacular. You did everything she expected and got to cum.
However instead of kicking you out she asked for another round. Then another. Then another.
By the end you were completely exhausted. You put your clothes back on and were ready to leave but felt your sleeve get stuck on something. You turned around to see Kokonoe clutching it.
“Could you sleep here?” she said quietly, her voice barely above a whisper all while avoiding eye contact.
From an objective point of view the offer definitely wasn’t attractive. Sleeping on a mattress on the floor, sheets that clearly needed a change and surrounded by a varied scattering of dirty clothes.However half the stench was your fault and the experience was definitely improved by who would be sleeping next to you.
You laid down on your back and closed your eyes. Before long you were woken up by the sound of shuffling. You were too tired to open your eyes and the room was too dark anyways. You could feel what was happening though. Kokonoe was sneaking under the cover with you. Draping one of her legs over two of yours and getting an arm up to your shoulder. She laid her head on your chest and seemingly went back to sleep. Before you faded out again you seemingly heard a soft purring.
Kokone had the best sleep of her life though. Not that she’d let you know. She was very grouchy while making you leave in the morning despite the fact she was staying in bed.
***
When you were invited again things were very different. Instead of getting started as soon as you were there you were sitting on the mattress while Kokonoe kept rummaging through her stuff. The only thing you could do was ask:
“What are you looking for?”.
“Lube!” she snapped at you with terrifying speed.
“Why?”.
“Because I’m not wet enough!” she yelled angrily.
At that moment you were struck by an idea. It was stupid and would more likely than not get you hurt. But then again those ideas were the most fun to try so to hell with it.
“We could lay down and wait for you to get in the mood.” you said tapping the other side of the mattress invitingly.
She shot you a dangerous looking glare. You were scared but you had to stay focused.
“Look it’s not like I didn’t notice what you did last time and it might be a nice change of pace.” There were many things Kokone felt she should say but she decided against.
Putting her best angry face on, she got into the “bed” next to you. You two got into a comfortable spoon position with you being the bigger one. It was nice your face was above her head, your arm was pulling her closer and one of your legs was between two of hers. Kokonoe would describe her situation as horrible. The right word would more likely be overwhelming. Being this close to you meant she could feel everything. Your breath tickling her neck, your chest rising and falling, your heartbeat, your warmth, the safety of your arms.
You were simply enjoying it until you started to feel the presence of moisture on your thigh. To make sure you pressed your thigh into her only for her to respond by squeezing her legs around it telling you all you needed to know. It was time to start risking things again. You immediately attacked her neck with your mouth, sending one hand under her shirt to tease her nipples while another went into her underwear to test if she was wet enough. Kokone could only let out a loud moan in reaction.
She wanted to start yelling, to give commands but the greed was back. It wanted silence, it hungered for the unexpected so she was going to keep any words to herself and respond only in noises. After confirming your suspicions you flipped her onto her back, stripped yourself and then her. You latched onto one of her breasts with your mouth groping the other with your hand causing another moan to escape her. When you were done teasing her you inserted yourself and started thrusting away. Kokonoe was enjoying herself far more than usual squeezing around your length as you pounded into her.
Her mind was getting scattered. You latched onto her mouth but instead of fighting for dominance she was letting you do what you wanted with your tongue. In fact it was almost like she was pulling you in, wanting any and every part you could insert into her inside. Kokonoe’s mind was in shambles, the pleasure was destroying any thought she attempted to construct leaving her with only flashes. Wet, hard, warmth, sweet, pungent, slap, taste, touch, comfort, hold, peace, together, interlocked, ring, trust, fluid, presence, gift, closer, heat, combination, soft, small, happy… Through the chaos of her thoughts she could still feel you getting closer to cumming. In that moment, as you unloaded into her she heard three words said into her ear.
“I love you.”
Kokonoe was spasming. Her mind went completely blank as she lost herself in the hardest orgasm of her life. You were in a daze of your own but you felt you did a good job.
Before you could finish that thought you were literally thrown out of the room.
“Hey! I don’t have any-” the soft sound of clothing hitting your face prevented you from finishing the sentence. You quickly got dressed and ran to your room feeling bad about taking things too far. Meanwhile in her room Kokonoe was curled up into herself. Taking turns between banging the back of her head against a wall and going back to sobbing with her head between her knees. Why did she do this to herself, why did she let herself get attached, why did she like it so much, why did she wish she didn’t close herself off, why did she wish they were still in the room with her? Why couldn’t she just get used to the loneliness.
***
The next week you spent trying to apologise to no avail. As soon as she’d spot you she’d start getting as far away from you as possible. If you tried to follow the doors would automatically shut in front of your face, getting locked by a security override.
Meanwhile Kokonoe was being eaten alive by a combination of anger and self-loathing. She couldn’t take it. Anytime she saw you you had that stupid guilty look on your face like it was your fault. She was the one who made you do all those things and didn’t give you a chance to refuse. You should hate her. You should be glad to never speak to her. Why did you have to be such an idiot? Why couldn’t you just move on. Every time she’d check on the cameras in your room you’d be pacing around thinking of what to do or having imaginary conversations in the shower practising how you’d apologise.
Why did you just have to make everything harder for her? Why was this weird feeling in her chest? She couldn’t do anything anymore. She wanted to smack you just so you’d stop looking like that. How was she supposed to deal with this? Everyone in her life would leave her at the drop of a hat so why did you keep staying?
***
Until one day she didn’t see you. She checked all around the base and found no signs. She hacked all the group chats on base to try and find out where you were to no avail. She kept sending Tager and Lambda on scouting missions in any sector she could think of.
“No matches here.” Lambda reported.
“Look Kokonoe we’re doing our best but you could at least tell us what you’re looking for.” Tager tried to reason.
“Just shut up and keep looking.” Kokonoe hissed.
Day by day Kokonoe was looking more decrepit. After checking all camera footage and mission reports to try and get an idea where you could’ve gone she settled on simply remote piloting a drone to search for you herself. Kokonoe wasn’t healthy by any stretch of the imagination but now she was looking downright horrible. Her lack of sleep and constant searching left her eyes horribly red with even worse bags under them. She was also foregoing food for the most part leading her figure to become more skeletal. Not to mention the complete absence of any and all hygiene.
After she passed out due to a combination of malnutrition, dehydration and insomnia she found herself cleaned and taken care of by her two subordinates she knew she couldn’t do anything like this. She had only one option left.
***
She was standing in front of the clinic in Orient Town. She hated having to do this but she had no choice. She pushed open the door and entered. She was about to say something but when her eyes landed on you in a bed the words got stuck in her throat. Then from the side Litchi’s voice brought her back to reality.
“I’ll bring you a chair.”
While she wanted to say something the feelings within her were preventing her from organising her thoughts. She sat down next to your bed.
“They should be up soon, you can read the notes on the nightstand.” Litchi mentioned before leaving to take care of something else.
Kokonoe’s eyes immediately jumped to the piece of paper containing information about your health. You had been stung by some sort of insect and were kept due to a fever with hallucinations. From the notes she could see your condition had been steadily improving. The knowledge that you were fine took a huge burden she refused to acknowledge off her.
She spent a while just watching you sleep. There was a certain sense of intimacy in watching you sleep. Simply getting to see you so peaceful felt like a reward for all the things she went through to get to this point. Then she noticed your eyes slowly start to open.
“Hey.” you said weakly.
There were many things Kokonoe wanted to do. She wanted to greet you back, she wanted to yell at you for getting in this situation, she wanted to jump with joy, she wanted to run away, she wanted… But there was only one thing she was actually doing. Sobbing. Quietly sobbing. Curling up into herself, she couldn’t even bear to look back at you as she muttered “I’m sorry…”. Before you could try to respond she started to explain her life. Her mother’s death, her father abandoning her, her time with the NOL, how she became a criminal and the crippling loneliness throughout.
“So yeah I’m sorry for what happened, it’s all my fault but probably for the best we keep some distance between each other from now on.”
She had finally ended her speech and calmed down. There were many things you could do but you were certain it was time for another risk. Keeping your poker face you motioned with your finger for her to get closer so you could whisper something. When she got near enough instead of quiet words in her ear she got a soft kiss on the cheek. She immediately pulled back covering the cheek with her hand. This was the complete opposite of your other kisses. Before it was aggressive, desperate and messy but this was soft, intimate and loving.
“I meant what I said.” you noted simply.
Kokonoe was getting overwhelmed. Everything she thought about herself, how she imagined her life would go, how she saw relationships was being destroyed and rebuilt rapidly leaving her “genius” brain to try and process it all.
“The doctor mentioned this great restaurant nearby so we could try it out when I’m out of here.”
Kokonoe was snapped out of her thoughts. Reevaluating her life could wait for now she only needed to do one thing. Respond with a soft but for the first time in a while genuine smile.