Prisoners Of Love

Jess• Canadian• Hockey• Music• Family• Friends• Adventures•

[urwordsrknives]

You were never a best friend. You were a when-it-suits-you friend. I took it hard every time you would ghost me. How can a best friend who said they will ALWAYS be there for me no matter what, just drop off the face of the earth and not have any feelings towards it?!? Never made sense to me.

You were a selfish person and I didn’t realize it until you complained about not getting enough attention or recognition from your family when it was their turn for their achievements. I tried to make you feel better and you didn’t even acknowledge it. I didn’t realize it until I needed to help you with your career, and you *almost* fucked me over with mine. No thanks to you, I’m thriving and eternally happy and grateful. I’m not hiding behind fake smiles. I’m not jealous of my family. I’m not a selfish person. I’m where I need to be, and I’m happy to go into a job I LOVE. 

I don’t need you. I don’t miss you. I don’t have love for you. I don’t like you. 

You were my best friend, I was never yours..... and you will never be mine, ever again. I hated you, now I have no feelings towards you. You’re an ugly person from deep in your core. 

I don’t care if you do well or not in life. I hope for your sake as a person, this one lasts and doesn’t leave like the last one, cause I won’t be there to sit on video chat while you’re in your tub bawling your eyes out. I deleted you from everywhere, and that wasn’t to be petty. It’s to live a better life. You don’t need to have the access to me anymore. And I surely don’t want the access to you. 

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

Not everyone who comes into our life is meant to stay. So stop holding onto people who clearly don’t want to be with you.

Unknown (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

[nightlyquotes]

One of the most amazing things that can happen is finding someone who sees everything you are and won’t let you be anything less. They see the potential of you. They see endless possibilities. And through their eyes, you start to see yourself the same way. As someone who matters. As someone who can make a difference in this world.

Susane Colasanti (via nightlyquotes)

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

The loneliest moment in someone’s life is when they are watching their whole life fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly.

F.Scott Fitzgerald (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

[urwordsrknives]

I fall apart

It was October. 

It was the first (serious) time you broke up with me. 

I was out with my friends. 

I was invited to a party. I said okay, since we were no longer together and I wanted to have fun. 

We were dropped off in the uber at the residence, I hugged my friends goodbye and went home on the bus. 

I felt guilty. It didn’t feel right. 

I was on my couch the next day. In sweats, hair in a bun, and puffy eyes. 

Sadness. But I knew I could get over you in time. 4 months wasn’t a long time, but it felt so real for me, that it felt like it would take me some time to heal from it. 

You got your brother to call me to tell me you have something to say to me. 

You apologized, said you wanted to be with me and you loved me. That it was a mistake to break up with me. 

We got off the phone and told me to listen to I fall apart by Post Malone. That he came out with a new song. 

I listened to it. I cried. I wasn’t over what you did. Breaking up with me like I was nothing, and little did I know, you were also going behind my back trying to hit on women, send pictures, go on dating sites. 

But always had the nerve to say to me, that we were  never  broken up every time you broke up with me. That nothing was done on your end, and nothing better not have been done on my end. 

Before I made my ONE mistake, you were like this, and you’re the same afterwards. 

You have always treated me like dog shit. You can get angry for what I did in desperation and hurt, (that was never as bad as what you did to me, but whatever) but the truth sits with us both. You know you screwed me up from the start. You know how badly you treated me all these years. 

A person can only take so much. I endured so much. I feel sorry for my past and present self. I trusted so easily, I wasn’t afraid of much, I was anxious about my own future shit, not being fucking cheated on or lied to. 

I knew I should’ve let you go then. My soft, kind hearted soul didn’t want to. Just like that day in September, my dad and I were driving you back to the subway. We were doing good then, but I looked out the window and I felt like I needed to break up with you. I didn’t know why I felt that way, I felt so sick to my stomach and so bad for feeling that way. I told myself to stop, and I didn’t want to hurt you. I looked at the date. I’m good with dates, you see.

That date in September, was the day you started cheating on me on your instagram.

I betrayed myself that day, and I have never trusted myself since.

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

No, you’re not wrong to expect a love that respects and values you for the person you are. You’re wrong to expect anything less.

JmStorm (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

[urwordsrknives]

If I pass away, don’t be sad. 

I wanted this. 

Don’t look back on the last few years and think I didn’t enjoy life. 

I had the people I love always checking in on me to make sure I’m okay. 

Can’t enjoy life more than knowing I still have people in my corner even though I was made to feel otherwise. 

Just know, you guys made me feel beautiful throughout my whole life. 

- In October, and we walked all around, taking pictures of each other. I will forever cherish that as one of my best memories of us. 

- Our drives. One of the happiest (and saddest) times. But it felt so real and it really means a lot to me. Makes me sad that we haven’t done it in a while and probably never will again.

- Our drives, too. But to the beach with M bothering us the whole ride. God, I’d do anything to see her again. I also now cherish you driving me to my appointments, since that meant a lot to you. I’m sorry I didn’t appreciate them that much. Me being diagnosed was very confusing for me. 

These are just 3 (or technically 4) of the best memories I’ve had with you guys. I could write a novel on the warm feelings I get of every memory with us and how much they mean to me. 

Anything can happen. I love you. I love you. I love you. 

[urwordsrknives]

I don't want you back, for many reasons.

But I don't understand how you can be so cold, so heartless.

But that's the difference I suppose, I still love you and always will. And I'm sad. I've always been sad about this.

You never loved me so that's why you played me so much. That's why you have no emotion to us ending.

[nightlyquotes]

“I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.”

— George F. Burns

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

“The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.”

— Ernest Hemingway

[rejuubic]

[remanence-of-love]

[urwordsrknives]

Literally dont understand what I did to deserve the past 5 years of my life.

Like I really dont understand what bad I did to deserve this 5 year long hell.

I don't feel safe. I dont feel secure. I dont feel like I have anyone.

Please take me out of this misery already.

[urwordsrknives]

I remember when you used to say I've only known you for 6 months, a year, 3 years, 4 years etc. Every time it came down to comparing me to your family.

I knew you for 4 months and I used to credit card to buy you a suit for your sister's wedding.

You've only lived with me 6 months is now what you say.

Why did I exhaust myself to help someone who didn't see what I was doing?

[urwordsrknives]

Oh hey, it's just me, the girl who makes you soft and every other man I'll be with soft 👉

[fulltrashpolice]

[urwordsrknives]

I don't want to be here anymore.

I finally have the career I wanted which makes me feel so guilty for not being happy.

But I'm in so much pain and I can't take it anymore.