useless butler facts

sebastian michaelis is a useless butler 0/10 would not recommend

[useless-butler]

Im blog and i find this sebastian offensive

we understand you anon. we agree

[useless-butler]

i am Actually sebastian and I can confirm that i am 100% useless. idk why Ciel still keeps me around, all i want to do is eat him. its the only thing i'm good at

nobody knows tbh

[useless-butler]

Friggin useless butler doesn't even have the protection of the stars. Who's surprised? NOT ME.

i’m glad even the stars are aware of how useless he is

[useless-butler]

New actor for musical has been called a "living, breathing Sebastian figure". Worst compliment someone could receive. Maybe he's just better than Yuya at being useless -shrug-

I feel sorry for the poor man....... who thinks that it’s a compliment to be called a living, breathing useless butler

[useless-butler]

Psst! Sebastian Michaelis is a fuccboi. Pass it on.

This is the truth

[useless-butler]

Useless butler once gave a child the impression he wanted to put... something... in her mouth.

[useless-butler]

what do you think about the new actor of the useless butler???????????? do you know he also serves an invisible tea????????

We will not comment on this new actor until we’ve seen him, but we feel sorry for him for having to play such a useless character... 

[useless-butler]

Useless butler is supposed to be a demon and he can’t even hold a violin bow properly -7465437/10 would not even let him play the triangle

[useless-butler]

useless butler tries to KINKSHAME -4575696474978474867698809/10 THIS IS NOT AN OK THING TO DO

fortunately grell doesn’t take any of his shit which actually proves that she’s not as useless a butler as sebastian (but we would still not recommend hiring her bc u might end up cut in half)

[useless-butler]

sometimes, dear followers, for a very short time an entirely unrelated post appears on this blog. this is because mom friend admin, confused and also confirmed #mom, sort of forgets to switch between blogs and, you know. hings happen. blame sebastian. or be happy that you saw one of these (hopefully) rare events!ooooor make a sideblog about “useless mom admin” if you want, that would actually be an honour to see.

[useless-butler]

useless butler tries to do eyeliner like captain jack sparrow’s and FAILS -5873868932629683/10 DO NOT hire as makeup artist 

[useless-butler]

WASTE of space FORGETS to give asthmatic child proper asthma medicine forcing undertaker to go through all the trouble of going inside said child’s DREAM to treat him smh -1000000000000000000/1 would fire

[useless-butler]

This is the best blog ever.

We thank you.

[useless-butler]

useless butler gets in a FOOD FIGHT with another demon?????????? -579996322/10 would not recommend

So immature, he is supposed to be an ADULT?? who can save Ciel from this -298/10 sebastian should get his own nanny

[useless-butler]

Useless butler would've let his sick Master work if Agni and Soma hadn't stopped him. -256422379712614379821/10 would NOT this butler take care of a sick child jfc.

Truly wonderful fact right here, he is a danger to society and someone should call social services

[useless-butler]

sebastian isn't even a demon he's just some weird guy who likes to brush kids' teeth

This just in! Completely true, OUTRAGEOUS fact about Useless butler! nasty old man --384982387284/fiftyfive, would never ever let a child say hello to him on the street

[useless-butler]

I'm not sure whether I hate Bassy or love him but your blog is a godsend to this fandom

Thank you :) we all need a bit of God when the shitty demon HAUNTS this world DEAR GOD make him LEAVE