summary: alfie’s protective of you, regardless of whether you’re together or not
content: baby daddy!ab , talks of sex , ‘locker room’ talk (i think)
notes: just throwing this out there as a trial thing, sorry it’s kinda short and ended abruptly, i just wanna see how it goes xx
wc: 1,164
ALFIE NEVER THOUGHT you would’ve been a topic of discussion on the podcast. You were a secret that he didn’t want to risk outing, so he made sure to skate around the conversations of partners and dates.
It wasn’t even like you were dating, but you were something. Whether that was because you were the mother of his child or for an entirely different reason was up to you and him to decide, but it wasn’t up for public scrutiny or debate.
You made your own content, majorly around being a young mum and the support that was around for you at the time, things you found that helped and anymore big sister advice that people requested on, so you having a child wasn’t the secret, it was more so the fact that he was a dad — more importantly, the dad.
Chip and Cal knew, of course, but that was still something he felt unsure of.
They didn’t find out voluntarily. They’d come over unannounced once and seen a couple baby toys strewn about his floor since he’d had the weekend with the little one.
He made them swear they wouldn’t tell anyone, not Stan, not any of the other YouTube lot. Not even their fiancées.
The secrecy of him being a father and you being the mother was for a reason. For your own safety. He didn’t want any of his fans harassing you or your kid just purely based on the fact you had some relations to him that didn’t suit their narrative.
So when Max Khadar began speaking about you, Alfie couldn’t help but get a little bit protective.
“Nah, that girl … What's her name … ohhh what is it.” Max muttered, “The one with the kid …”
“There’s a lot of girls that have kids.” Chip laughed.
“Reader! Reader!” Max exclaimed as your name finally came to him.
“Oh, her, right.” Cal nodded, giving Alfie a quick side glance to try and get the gist of how the younger man was feeling.
He seemed to have zoned in on Max’s face, paying an intense amount of detail to every little expression the guest made.
“What about her?”
Max gaped as he looked at Cal, a smirk on his face, “Are you joking? Bro, she’s leng.”
The boys across from him began laughing hysterically at the tone in which Max had expressed his physical admiration for you. Alfie wasn’t as amused, but he gave a short chuckle to not look too out of place.
“You fancy her?” Cal pushed.
“Fancy? Bro, I wanna take her out. You know, nice dinner, then go back to hers— ahhh man, she’s so bad. So bad.”
“Why are you fantasising about her right now?” Chip guffawed, crossing one leg over the other.
“This is nothing.” Max waved his hands about dramatically, “Trust, I wanna give her another kid.”
“Alright, bro, chill.” Alfie laughed it off, trying to act like he was preventing his friend from getting into trouble rather than trying to shut him up before he said something that really made his blood boil.
“There’s nothing chill about her.” Max shook his head, “She is … ‘coz there’s levels to it. You’ve got fit,” He put his hand down before putting his other one way higher in the air, “And you’ve got leng. Reader is up here. Genuinely, I-I-I-“
Alfie began mimicking his stutter, slyly taking the piss out of him. Cal and Chip cackled.
“I would have bare kids with her. A whole football team. Trust, I’m on that.”
“You’re on that?” Cal challenged, “What, have you DM’d her?”
Max just shrugged.
“Have you actually?” Alfie asked, though his tone reeked of a serious energy.
So much for being low-key.
Alfie kind of hoped that you would’ve told him if someone from an adjacent circle had DM’d you in a romantic or sexual manner, but he could also recognise that just because you had a child together, didn’t mean that he had any claim over you.
Not unless he did something about that, of course.
“Why you pressed? Chill.” Max put a hand out in his direction, “Nah, I haven’t, but I will.”
“Swear she’s got a fella.” Alfie hummed, sitting back and playing with the wiring of his mic.
“Say wallahi.” His face fell dramatically.
“I dunno.” He shrugged, “I swore she made a video saying, like, ‘get ready with me for a date’.”
Yes, Alfie had most of your videos memorised, and yes that video was when you went around to his for dinner.
“Yeah … you’re on that.” Max gave him a knowing smile, “That was you, bro. She went on that date with you.”
“What?” Alfie laughed, pinching his nose bridge, “No she didn’t.”
“You’re the dad too, I know it.”
“Shut the fuck up, bro.”
Alfie was getting slightly annoyed.
It was one thing to assume you were dating, but to say he was the dad (joking, or not) was pushing it. He knew if one person theorised it, then another would, and another and another until it became a rumour that either of you would have to address.
When that episode dropped and all the clipping accounts got to work, it was a nightmare.
Having you send him one of the clips on Instagram and nothing else was enough to send his heart rate through the roof.
alfiebuttle: just ignore it x
yourusername: oh yeah i’ll just ignore people talking about wanting to shag me and talking about you being matilda’s dad
yourusername: thanks for standing up for me btw really liked that you let him say he wants to impregnate me
alfiebuttle: i didn’t know what to say without it being obvious x
alfiebuttle: are you actually mad? x
Alfie watched the text bubble appear, waver for a little while before disappearing completely. He sighed before typing another message.
alfiebuttle: i’m sorry x
yourusername: whatever, just do your damage control
He sent a quick red heart before going through the main clipping accounts and dropping a few nonchalant comments along the lines of ‘you guys are so dramatic😹’ or ‘chill i was just guessing’.
He didn't think it’d do much, but he felt that remaining completely silent was more guilty.
After he was done reposting and commenting, he dropped you another message
alfiebuttle: everything okay tonight? x
alfiebuttle: how is she x
yourusername: she’s ok, proper tired today x
When he received a picture of his two-year-old daughter sat on the floor, beaming up at the camera, his heart melted and a grin overtook his face without him being able to control it.
alfiebuttle: ❤️❤️❤️
alfiebuttle: did you take her out? x
yourusername: yeah, went park for a little bit ‘coz she kept fussing x
alfiebuttle: cute, lmk when u go next. i’ll come x
yourusername: what if someone sees x
alfiebuttle: shit yeah 🫤
yourusername: its alright u can come round for tea tomorrow, she’s been missing you x
thinking about ex boyfriend alfie and reader accidentally bumping into each other in a club drunk, both with different dates while the song dancing on my own by robyn plays as they lock eyes across the room with the most insane and tense eye contact known to man!
i want to try write an alfie fic??? but like i’m fresh outta college im still on the whole detailed explaining motive! any tips would be appreciated ❤️
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