i dont blog here anymore and dont know if anyone still lives on this site but this morning i woke up and reflected on the YEARS of depression blogging i did. being overwhelmed with legitimate crippling saddness, lonlieness, and living in an environment of hell and anxiety - it wasnt always bad tbf but i have to remind myself that the abuse i undergone didnt go away just because there would be a period of a few good days, weeks, or even months if i was lucky. anyways. im moved out and its fit like a glove of just sudden relief. theres a part of me that is mourning alot. and its been a huge process the past month or two and mulling over an endless thought cycle of “i went through a life of pain. the past 10 years of hell and never escaping. and its finally my turn after watching others be able to move out time and time again. why now after everything ive gone thru” just really cliche but real thoughts and have no answer just festering wounds finding relief but still screaming. i thought i was gonna break down or something and maybe i will have a few days where ill cry when im REALLY settled in but idk. finally made it out its awesome. i feel bad for subjecting this space i carved for so many years and the people exposed to it to all those vent posts but it was very real. happy to be here. thought i would end up dead on the street alot and came close.
i have two kittens now. they have ringworm so i cant spend time with them much, but i love them. i love final fantasy. naruto and sasuke are still gay and i love them :)
