I write fics for NCT and (sometimes) GOT7, my requests are closed, but you can always send me an ask
☆Most recent fics☆
WEEKEND DUTY - military!au with Jaehyun (18+)
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NOW, ARE YOU HAPPY? Honeymoon special - married life with idol Jaehyun
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J | Masterpost - diplomat!au with Jaehyun (!18+)
DIVORCE ME - marriage!au with Jaehyun (!18+)
HIM Pt.3 - office!au with Jaehyun
NCT Masterlist | GOT7 Masterlist
please don’t read 18+ tagged work if you’re a minor 🙏🏼
warnings: long-term relationship, sex on the planefingering, (semi)public sex/make out, mutual masturbation, cock-blocking, profanities,
words: 3,7k
"You good?" Jaehyun questioned as you peeked above the seat divider. You rubbed your eyes before answering hoping it’s been hours since you fell asleep.
You were finally able to focus your vision on the screen before Jaehyun and realised the sad truth, he still had the same movie on. It hasn’t been as long as you hoped for.
You sighed.
"No, my head's splitting." Jaehyun pouted, sorry for how you’ve been feeling since the very take off.
"I'm sorry. We still have more than five hours to go,” you pouted in return, closing your eyes to let a dramatic sigh out.
"Let me crawl over to you." You rested your chin over your palm that was laying on the divider. You forced an even cuter face expression onto your boyfriend so he’d move to the side, but he looked at you like he couldn’t hear you, taking his headphones completely off his head.
“Huh?" He voiced out the confusion written on his face.
"Move." You shooshed Jaehyun with your hand to the other side of his seat, leg already over the divider.
“Baby, we're going to be told off." You rolled your eyes at his distress, proceeding with your action.
“Everyone’s asleep, it’s night.” You gestured to the ceiling of the plane, to point out the fact the lights were off. You could hear your neighbours snoring quietly in distance and flight attendants have not bothered you ever since dinner.
There was no way anyone would notice you taking a nap on your boyfriend’s chest. He was definitely being dramatic.
“Hi.” You flirted, palm on his chest as you tried to find a comfortable enough position to lie down. “Long time no see.” Jaehyun melted, letting his doubts go as soon as your body weight pressed him into the seat.
He pecked your lips and shuffled a bit, letting your legs tangle up with each other.
“I immediately feel times better,” you raised your head back up and ran your fingers up Jaehyun’s neck to get his head in your hands. Jaehyun blinked at you with a little smirk adorning his mouth. You let your teeth sink into your lower lip looking at his pretty face. You pecked Jaehyun’s cheek and pressed your face into his jaw. “No, I lied. It still feels like I’m going to pass out.” Jaehyun’s arm crawled around your waist and caressed it, mouth pressing into your temple.
Jaehyun was a perfect pillow with a built-in heating function and sleeping on top of him indeed was a blessing, even if you had a business class seat of your own right next to him. It was practically incomparable no matter how you looked at it. But why were you even thinking about it? In your sleep?
“Take a nap, I’ll make sure I’m not moving under you,” Jaehyun pushed you a little off him and stretched his body in his seat, wiggling his butt a little over the seat and pulled you back in on top of him once he was visibly done with getting comfortable. “Okay, I’m ready to be your pillow.” You smiled and pecked his cheek once again, snuggling into him more and closing your eyes to try leaving this torturous head ache behind in the dreamland.
That… felt weird. You felt Jaehyun’s throat move against your head and it was the very last clue for you to realise you weren’t sleeping anymore. You woke up.
Maybe because it was time for you to, maybe because he was chewing on something and given you were with your ear on his chest Jaehyun managed to wake you up.
You raised your head up immediately, not taking a moment to figure out how long it’s been like the previous time. "What are you munching on?"
"Ugh, my flat croissant." You acted like you couldn't notice the insinuation on my.
It was intentional, you've had yours before you even boarded the plane; and Jaehyun was especially sulky when it came to you stealing his food. And you had a history with that, you had to admit it.
"Can I try it?" he immediately scowled at your audacity and you’d smirked in return. Well, the game was on, he’ll end up giving it to you. Whether he wants it or not.
“Nuh-huh." He’d cocked his eyebrow and took another tiny bite.
"Come on." You nudged his side.
"You tried it when you ate the same one you had for yourself.” He let a loud sigh out and you knew exactly what he was going to bring up. “Remember how we were at the grocery store and I said baby, should we buy these flat croissants to take with us on the flight? You said yes sure, and when I asked if I should get two or more, remember what you told me?” You blinked at him quietly, holding in a chuckle. “I’m fine with one, you can take more if you want to.” And that’s how you ended up with just two of these in your shopping cart.
"You should share!" you went for the low blow. "Sharing is cari-."
"Ain't I'm already sharing my seat, my earphones, my clothes, my life, practically everything with you?" Jaehyun's brow raised in disbelief.
"And you're complaining?" you smiled. You had the answer to that in his eyes.
"No, I love it." Jaehyun cheesed. "I love you." he pressed his mouth flat against your cheek. “But I won’t share the pastry."
“Please,” you sang out the e. “You have to make the list complete by adding in the food.”
“That is the only little thing I want to have to myself.” He whispered more to himself than to you, biting on his cheek before he’d looked at the flat croissant.
Jaehyun took a demonstrative bite before your face and chewed on it with a happy smirk on his face. You furrowed your brow, pouted, then stuck with opening your mouth like he was gonna give in and let you have a bite.
He wasn't gonna fold, you were sure. He was proving that to you by swallowing what he chewed and taking another bite. You were ready for another show of performative chewing.
When he leaned in and shoved the freshly bitten piece into your open mouth with his tongue you were nothing short but flabbergasted. You didn't expect him to play mama bird. You didn’t expect him to play along at all.
"Ew!" You exclaimed feigning disgust, acting like his tongue in your mouth was anything new to you.
You felt the knot tighten at the pit of your stomach. Jaehyun licked into your mouth and moved back with a smirk. You swallowed the croissant. "I want more." you whispered, leaning back into him.
"Of what exactly?"
“Everything."
Jaehyun let the smile pass his lips as his hand reached out to your chin, pulling your face closer to his.
You let his lips cover yours, deliberately taking care of your upper lip as he kissed you like you were the most fragile piece of art.
You pressed your palms against his chest, properly straddling his thighs and pushing your mouth firmer against his. Jaehyun moved his attention to your nape, pushing you back as your body tried to press into his more.
“Baby, we’re on a plane.” He hiss-whispered against your lips and tried to make you slide back down from him.
“I’m not doing anything inappropriate.” You shook your head with a little pout and got your fingers onto his scalp, pulling a little on his hair.
“This is pretty inappropriate for a plane,” Jaehyun looked down at your thighs covering his crotch and pushed you down to the side once more.
“Don’t be a bore.” You let your mouth into the corner of his; if he wants to be a good boy - okay. You’ll play by his rules. “Last week you promised me sex on the plane.”
“I was drunk and talking absolute bullshit,” Jaehyun chuckled and all of a sudden pulled you a little closer to him.
“You said you booked business just because the lavatory is bigger.” You teased him further. He said all of that to his friend’s face because he challenged Jaehyun’s pride of being too much of a grandpa for his age. You wanted to strongly disagree when that conversation even started, but shut your mouth as soon as Jaehyun’s mouth started bragging things you’ve never heard before. Never even imagined he’d suggest you do.
You knew he was bluffing, you had a very good reason to believe this trip and the business seats were purchased for a special occasion, and you were sure the special occasion is you with a rock on your finger on your plane ride back home. Not to fuck.
“Okay, okay,” he let a sigh out and moved his neck around like he was going to stand up right this moment to go there.
“I wanted to watch the movie,” you gave him a leeway, and Jaehyun happily took the bait, resting his body under you.
“Okay, pick anything you want,” he gestured for the screen and you ran your eyes through options, choosing Hotel Grand Budapest.
Your fingers inevitably went for Jaehyun’s side, caressing clothed skin there, and when the absentminded touch didn’t raise any suspicion on his side, your restless hand went for his stomach, chest and arm, ending up with your mouth peppering kisses over his jaw. This must be enough of a clue the touch wasn’t absentminded in the first place.
You’d taken the earbud from his hands and rested your head once more over Jaehyun’s chest, sliding a bit more off him to not weigh him down too much and focused on the movie.
“Baby, there’s nothing sexy about the movie?” Jaehyun snorted, catching your head.
“You’re sexy though.” You played with your brows, extending your neck to give Jaehyun a kiss; he’d let you kiss him, kissing your lips too, and you ended up in this attempt to keep the make out quiet, even though Jaehyun’s fingers gripping onto your thigh were making it impossible for you to do it.
He seemingly changed his opinion on plane make out’s and was indulging quite fiercely in one with you right now, lips sucking onto your upper lip, making your mouth open and give his tongue an opportunity to wrestle beautifully with yours. Your body pressed Jaehyun more into the seat and your mouth wasn’t able to hold in a gasp when your thigh brushed past his hardening crotch.
You were hyper aware of the people surrounding you, it’s not like you were reckless. You heard a couple of them snore, you saw screens light up their seats, you were also hyper aware of the fact that the annoying sound of someone making out right next to you must be heard three rows before and after you, but it was hard to keep yourself at bay when you managed to get Jaehyun into this, and hot damn was he into this.
His fingers trailed over your waist and you’d expected him to make you sit on top of him, but Jaehyun’s palm went elsewhere, pulling the blanket from the side of his seat to cover your bodies. Why would he do it? You weren’t cold, not when his lips trailed down from your mouth to your neck-.
Oh.
That’s why he needed a blanket.
Jaehyun’s palm sneaked under it and the very next moment you felt his palm press between your legs through your sweatpants. You let a surprised gasp out, you weren’t expecting to take things this much further. Jaehyun’s fingers made your right leg hook more around his waist and he’d pressed his fingers into your core with a lot more pressure than usual, keeping in mind the buffer made by your sweatpants.
You leaned back a little and made Jaehyun give up kissing your neck; you initiated a stare off, which challenged Jaehyun into giving your aroused core deliberate strokes that he knew for sure were making the shivers run down your arms.
Your palm slipped down his abs and teased the lower abdomen, not anything more or less, just soft strokes of your fingers where his body was covered by the underwear. His stomach was burning hot to the touch, hotter than it usually was. Maybe, because you were winded up by the publicity of this act; maybe because you were up in the sky and everything felt times stronger. Like Jaehyun’s fingers stroking you throw two layers of fabric was giving you a hard time keeping your composure, feeling the knot at the pit of your stomach get heavy already. When he didn’t even do much.
“If we continue and anyone sees - we’re forever blacklisted from the airline.” Jaehyun broke the silent staring with a little dimple-inducing smirk of his.
“Do you feel like stopping?” You let your fingers slip lower, brush against his hardening dick hidden by a few layers of clothes of his own.
“Not really,” he slanted his head a little, like he wasn’t believing he was admitting it, and you smirked at him, letting your fingers boldly pass the sweatpants and get your fingers onto his underwear. You flexed your fingers a couple of times over Jaehyun’s crotch and he went for a slow, deliberate sigh from the depths of his lungs.
“You good?” You chuckled.
Jaehyun caught onto the teasing and went for the same sort of torture on you, passing the sweatpants layer, and damn, going even further with his fingers slipping past your panties. He’d let his finger rub against your fully soaking clit and in no time your entire brain fogged and wasn’t able to proceed with any more teasing on his body. You leaned into Jaehyun and let him kiss you, holding onto his stomach with your fingers for support. You needed this to not let yourself come within the first two minutes, to not let yourself make a sound that’ll draw all of the attention you didn’t need.
“Baby, you have to keep it all in.” Jaehyun whispered against your mouth exactly what you’ve been thinking and you nodded, gripping onto his shoulder instead.
Jaehyun’s fingers went further, spreading your folds as he rubbed them against your clit, going even more ahead with his middle finger spreading you open. You felt his finger pump in and out of you and rearranged the way you’ve been holding onto him up until this moment.
You wrapped an arm around his neck and pressed your face into his collarbone, leaving your body at Jaehyun’s mercy. Letting him do things the way he wanted.
You panted into his neck, trying to hold back from orgasming and at the same time wishing for nothing else.
Your arms kept shivering, and you were sure now it had to do something with all those kilometres you were up in the sky. “Should I stop?” He teased into your ear and you found it in you to pinch his shoulder as a response, he cannot be serious right now. “I do feel sometimes like I’m too led on by you, maybe I should just resist this one time-,” your arm that’s been holding onto Jaehyun’s neck for dear life shifted when he moved his hand away from your slickness and you attempted choking the man that found the environment appropriate enough for teasing. This little shit, he’s always like this, he lives to be loved and needed by you and even more so lives to tease your undying love for him. Tease so he’d feel even more loved and needed in response.
“Ouch, ouch-, okay,” Jaehyun’s free palm wrapped around your elbow to ease the chokehold. “I don't want to die on a plane; I'm sorry.” He chuckled into your ear and roughly returned his fingers where they previously were, making a loud gasp spill from your lips.
“Jae, my head’s spinning,” you moved your head so your mouth would be next to his ear and the deafening gasps you let out were fanning exactly over his ear.
“Just a little more-,” he’d cooed in response and your arm began to tighten around Jaehyun’s neck once more, making him tug on your elbow. “If you continue with choking my head’s going to spin too,” he breathed out of his nose. The way your thigh involuntarily rubbed against his crotch as his fingers ran over your clit must be part of this head-spinning torture of his also.
Jaehyun’s hand twisted in your clothes, angling it so his thumb would circle around your clit and your brain gave up. Your head spun, body shuttered, toes curling. Your body swallowed Jaehyun’s fingers more, tightening around them in contractions and in a couple of seconds you went meek in his arms.
“Did your orgasm was so good it made the plane shake?” Jaehyun sneered, lifting your head up off his shoulder to peck your lips.
“What?” You asked, fully confused. Jaehyun fixed your sweatpants over your waist and found a wet tissue to wipe his glistening hand.
Jaehyun didn’t need to open his mouth, because the plane shook once more and you now felt what he meant - you hit the turbulence zone. You let a chuckle out piecing together his little remark and pecked his mouth. Your palm traveled south and you brushed it lightly against his crotch. He was still hard, nothing changed for him, duh.
“You know you lowkey own me one?” Jaehyun found your palm under the blanket, covering it with his. He put more pressure on his dick and closed his eyes in pleasure.
“I know, I’m even considering giving it to you, since you gave me a plane-shaking level of orgasm.” You smirked in response, getting your mouth covered with Jaehyun’s lips as a reward.
It felt like the plane plunged into a flow of incoming turbulence and once more shook in a long hit that made you grip onto Jaehyun’s shoulder for a moment.
You let your fingers stroke Jaehyun, but with the next little jolt the seatbelt sign went on. You both glanced up, but looking down into Jaehyun’s eyes it was pretty clear this time - he couldn’t care less for any signs, he needed your fingers, at least, pumping him into oblivion starting now. And you weren’t about to protest, you would gladly give him what he wants.
Your hand once more slid to his underwear and your hand went for slow strokes, making Jaehyun’s eyes close and his chest raise faster than before. Even though his eyes were closed and he looked like he was solemnly focused on you stroking him, in about three strokes his hand cover yours and he’d stopped you. You looked at him confused as soon as he opened his pretty eyes. His eyes drifted ahead and your head peeked from his seat, to see the flight attendant going down the row and checking if the seatbelts are on for the passengers.
Jaehyun forced your hand off him and onto his chest. His hands going gingerly onto your waist. “We’re watching a movie, he hissed into your ear and you nodded, focusing your gaze on the screen.
You know what he did there. He wanted for both your hands to be visible for the flight attendant. To let her know that you weren’t being nasty, you were just watching a movie together. Sure, that’s what you’ve been doing.
You blinked at the movie that was still on, feeling Jaehyun’s erection press into your knee. You had to cover it in case her eyes went south.
You tried hard not to look at the lady approaching you, but it was hard to ignore the surprise plastered on her face upon realisation that there’s two people in this seat instead of one. Jaehyun removed the bud from his ear, that he somehow managed to find in this little act, and looked at the flight attendant.
She looked at you instead, “Miss, the seatbelt sign is on, please return to your seat,” the lady politely gestured to the ceiling and glanced down onto your seat.
“Yes, sure,” you casually agreed and with Jaehyun’s help crawled back into your seat. It was too fucking cold and empty. Being next to Jaehyun felt trillion times better. His eyes followed you confused, for some reason. You wondered if he was shocked at your obedience. You were just trying to not attract any attention, tried to not pay her attention to the fact your ear didn’t even have the earphone, that you were just staring at the screen with no audio.
The lady moved on as soon as you did the seatbelt and you leaned over the divider once more to look at Jaehyun, look down onto his waist and see something you weren’t able to finish off. “How are you feeling?” You reached a hand over to pat his forearm.
“Like we’re never flying anything but economy ever again.” You chuckled into your shoulder.
“But you love me, and it’s not really my fault-,” you flattered your eye lashes at him.
'You'll regret this later.” Jaehyun grumbled, trying to steady his breathing and think of something that would calm him down.
"I'll do my best to make up for it.” You blinked at him and caught his palm with yours, lifting it to give it a tiny peck.
He sighed, but held onto your hand regardless, letting you know he wasn’t actually mad.
You held onto his fingers for as long as your brain allowed you to, the seatbelt sign was on for ages and you felt yourself drift away, until Jaehyun’s fingers let go of yours as soon as the seatbelt sign went off and he took off in the direction of the bathroom quicker than you could’ve imagined, taking his needed time in there.
genre: office!au, fluff, a lot of kissing, touching, falling in love and being in love, co-workers to lovers, romance, happy ending
warnings: language,flirting, pining, teasing, semi-public make outs
words: 6,5k
part 1 | part 2 | part 3
"Hey, hey, hey, it's time to have dinner." Jaehyun crawled on top of you, closing the laptop over your lap with his torso. You smiled at the man, reaching a hand out to caress his cheek. "It's dinner time, no more work." Jaehyun pecked your mouth.
"I need to send the letter. They’ll call you tomorrow and ask why we fucked up the deadline. What would you say?" your fingers curled around his ear.
“That I needed to feed my girlfriend really badly,” Jaehyun forced the closed device to the side and pressed his body more against yours.
“But realistically, what would you tell her?” You chuckled at the sweetness, but he will not say anything like that to a client. You both knew it.
“If she says anything at all I’ll say the deadline was unreal. We needed more time to give them an answer. I’ll take all the blame, don’t worry.” You let your thighs wrap around his waist, smiling with your teeth pressed into your lip.
“And Nari calls you insufferable,” you snickered, teasing his earlobe with your fingers. “Okay, if you’re so sure I can leave it until tomorrow…” you trailed off.
”Shall we?" Jaehyun returned the space between your bodies, raising on his hands. Your thighs were still connecting you though.
"Fuck?" you chuckled and closed the gap between your mouths.
"No, silly. Go to the kitchen. I'm going to cook for you and you'll keep me company.” Jaehyun’s been cooking you dinner every time you were together at either of your homes. He’d taken real pleasure in doing so, and you’ve stopped asking him to let you help him. You were just sitting on the chair, humming to his playlist; the only two things expected from you were to give him kisses and set plates on the table. On all occasions.
"I could finish off the letter while keeping you company?” You were anyways absolutely not doing a thing.
“No," he shook his head “we’re keeping the work life balance.” He’d frowned and you had to agree.
-
“Jae, stop.” You couldn’t stop giggling, trying to swat his hands away, but he’s been persistent with touching you; which led to you being loud and probably heard everywhere within this floor of the parking lot. “Baby.” You cried out defeated, letting his arms hug you and make you wrap yours around his neck. He’d lifted you off the ground a little and lowered his palms to grope your ass.
He’s been obsessed with touching you ever since that day you finally broke the circle of stupidity. It was getting worse on days like this.
You had separate lunches because of an external meeting he had. He was busy with his tasks; you were busy with the account that previously was Taeyeon's. You were separated by work and tens of people surrounding you; last feeling his fingers on your body in the morning as he parked his car. Not even in the elevator, because you ended up in a busy one with a lot of your colleagues.
“I missed you so much.” He breathed out into your neck, letting his lips peck your pulse point. “We’re staying together for the night.” He said with an ultimatum and moved back to see your face.
“Remember you have a meeting tomorrow too? You need to sleep.” You whispered, letting your fingers smooth the shirt on his chest.
“Fuck, I know. I’ll just leave yours after you fall asleep, then.” You gave him a few nods, arm hooking around his neck to let him kiss your mouth. Jaehyun sighed like he was finally able to breathe after a busy day.
“No sex, then.”
“No sex.” He agreed, licking into your mouth. “What? Why?” He pulled back, confused. “It’s early, I can be very quick.” He moved his hand up your body and then sneaked it down your clothes.
“You are so fucking insufferable.” You gasped, pressing your forehead into his. “Please never change.” You whispered, feeling your heart clench and breath hitch as Jaehyun’s fingers touched the skin of your ass.
“I won’t.” Jaehyun kissed the tip of your nose and then pressed his mouth once more against yours. “If I ever don’t want you like this it means I’m dead.” You chuckled through the kiss, feeling him smile and pull away.
“We should probably go home. The smell of cars is making me sick.” The parking lot smelled like ass, the only reason you weren’t already sick was Jaehyun’s strong perfume and natural scent that in a mixture made your body clench and eyes roll back into your head.
“Yes, baby.” He’d taken your hand in his, freely, and tugged you behind him, taking very wide steps to cross the parking lot. You practically ran behind him, trying to catch up. Jaehyun paid enough attention to that and stopped, grabbing your waist and putting you on his shoulder, so suddenly he’d beaten air out of your lungs as he dropped you onto it.
“Oh my god! What if someone sees?” You tried to straighten your back, but got scared of the height and lowered back down. His bum was right before your eyes and you knew exactly what to do. You’d slapped his bony ass and grabbed it like he always did it to you. There was barely any flesh there, you couldn’t imagine him being comfortable sitting on a firm chair.
“Ouch!” He cried out, patting your butt that was so close to his face in return. “My butt is not as inviting as yours is.” Jaehyun let his palm grab your thigh right under your ass and his motions came to a halt as he’d stopped before his car.
“Maybe it’s not inviting to you. I will be slapping your ass at every given chance now too, just so you could see how it feels.” He’d let you on the ground and you wrapped an arm over his middle getting on your tiptoes to kiss his mouth.
“Good?” He grabbed your ass cheek, you had to do the same, sneaking your hand in the back pocket of his jeans. “I don’t see a problem.” He pecked your mouth quickly.
“That’s because you were expecting it now. When we’re talking with someone in the kitchen and you’re suddenly squeezing your fingers like that I can barely hold back a wheez.” You complained.
You weren’t against him touching your ass, he can touch you all he wants. You loved feeling all of his fingers on you. It wasn’t the problem.
Your problem was him doing it at the most inconvenient places and times. When he couldn’t flirt with you, kiss you, or what you found recently was his new habit - when he was stressed. He’d just give it a squeeze, not always light, or slap it. You were almost getting used to swatting his hand away every time he was doing a bit too much, but then he learned to also slide his palm onto your hip, bunching your shirt up and touching the warm flesh of your side when he really needed to make his mind take a break.
He was so quick to catch up onto the level of obsessed you were feeling for him - it was such a relief to know he really meant it when he said he believed in equality in a relationship. You were indeed head over heels for each other. Three months in.
Fucking like two rabbits each time you get a chance. And you couldn’t remember a day when you had a reason not to - except for days you were bleeding. And Jaehyun never found it a reason to not hang out with you anyway. He’d spend half his time making you feel better or just cuddling into your side while you two watched a TV show.
It’s been three months and you already had shows you were watching together. It’s been three months of pure bliss and love and happiness. Jaehyun asked you to be his girlfriend right the day you became closer than just a kiss and teasing.
Somehow he was collected enough to not let the three words slip past his lips. Maybe, he was waiting for you to say it first to him? It’s been a long while since you were convinced you loved him, there was no way what was happening between you wasn’t love. You loved him, there wasn’t a single doubt in your head. You were just shy to say it to his face, weirdly enough.
You loved his habit of cuddling in the mornings, loved his lazy kisses to your shoulder blades while you took time to wake up. Loved how he insisted on cooking breakfast together, he always wanted you to have the meal even if you were late to the office.
He’d glue himself to your back, arms wrapped around your body, lips pressed into your ear to hum the melody of the song that played in his head. He had such a pretty singing voice, you could listen to him sing all day long. He would then sit you down before him to eat your breakfast, eyes glued to you, not his food.
You’d go back to the bedroom to put your make up in bed and he’d wash the plates, getting next to you about ten minutes later, pressing his face into your lower back and hugging your waist to have a little nap while you get yourself ready for the day. Then, depending whose apartment you’re in you’ll either pick his outfit collectively or let him help pick yours. He’d always go for the shortest dresses and skirts or crop tops for you and you would always let him down by saying no, you won’t show up to the office like that. Especially after he’d actually managed to sneak his hand up one of your short dresses in a packed elevator to give your clothed pussy a few strokes of his fingers. You weren’t even leaving the office, you were going up right after you arrived; he just been specifically horny because you were yet to pass the threshold of getting ready for work together and he missed you.
You couldn’t even be mad he made you feel like that when his eyes looked at you the way they did when you tried to tell him off.
-
Jaehyun held onto your face, stopping you from your fussing over him being so late for a presentation he needed to do in about thirty minutes. He was still wearing his pleaded homeware pants and he really couldn’t care less about being late when the woman of his dreams was making his chest explode. “I love you.” He smiled, caressing your skin. He tried to lean in, but you actually dodged his mouth, exclaiming dissatisfied.
“No!” Jaehyun moved his head back, looking at you confused.
“What?” He blinked dumbfounded, before you could tell him what was up.
“I was meant to tell you I love you first.” You frowned and Jaehyun let the terrified frown leave his brow.
“Let’s act like I didn’t say a thing.” He let his arms lower onto your waist and stared at you lovingly.
“But you did.” You frowned at him, upset. You really wished to tell him this first, but it was hard to find the right moment. You wanted it to be so special, but maybe you should’ve stuck to the way Jaehyun did it.
Just I love you, in the morning, while you helped him prep for a meeting on your day off office. You were actually separate for the night, because you’d went out with Nari, and you previously agreed he’ll come over to yours after the meeting, but he’d been quiet when you woke up too early and had a bad feeling he overslept.
You rushed to his place only to realise you were right. He’d overslept, with no you by his side he clearly had more freedom to have a peaceful sleep and didn’t hear the alarm.
“I did? What did I say.” Jaehyun teased his lower lip between his lips. “ I didn’t say a thing.” He kissed your brow and smiled. You were so endeared by him, eyes closing at the feeling of his lips on your skin.
“I don’t know. Maybe I imagined it.” You smiled. “You have to hurry, you will be so late.”
“Ever since you came into my life, I stopped caring for stuff like this. Life is so much more than just being good at my job and I only got it when I met you.” He’d again bunched your shirt up and squeezed your side.
You inched your mouth closer, and Jaehyun leaned in, opening his mouth, ready for you to kiss his upper lip. He’d felt your lips kiss it and he’d smiled, not caring one bit about his meeting. You were losing so much time on tenderness but at this point it was impossible to not be like this with each other.
You took his face in your palms, and Jaehyun smiled as your fingers stroked the flesh of his cheeks. “I’ve been meaning to tell you that I love you. I’ve postponed it because I wanted a really sweet moment for it. You ruined it all, so now I’m just letting you know like this. I love you.” Jaehyun full on grinned, smile unstoppable from reaching his eyes and making the cutest whiskers appear near his nose. You’d also noticed how his nose bridge was empty, missing a set of glasses that was part of his essentials for the day. “Where are your glasses?” You asked confused. He was smiling and you felt awkward about your confession. You needed to move on.
“Baby, I love you.” Jaehyun ignored the question, taking your head in his hands instead. “Loved you since our first date.”
“Don’t say that.” You shushed him away. “It’s a lie.” He wasn’t loving you on your first date, you’d never believe that. Maybe he was intrigued with your persistence, confused with continuous attempts to get with him. But he wasn’t loving you. No way in hell he was.
“No, it is not.” Jaehyun nudged his nose with yours. “I loved you because you were so honest about your feelings. And then I’ve been falling deeper and deeper in love with you every day. You came to my place this morning caring for me like this even though I didn’t say a thing. Of course I love someone who cares for me. You got out of your way to help me get ready for a meeting.”
“I love you.” You just whispered back. “I was so scared it all won’t work out.” You admitted shaking your head a little.
“But it did, I’m sorry I was saying things like office romance doesn’t work out. It does, and I love you so much.” He smiled and kissed the corner of your mouth. “And your ass, too.” He added, of course, letting his palm sneak onto the clothed skin there.
“Of course you do.” You smirked, taking his other hand to place it on the other ass cheek of yours.
“You do too, huh.” He teased, tongue swiping against your lips. “I’m calling Minyoung to say I’m sick and can’t go anywhere.” You stepped back and grabbed his palms in yours.
“You have to go. If we’re winning this client, I’m hoping you’ll pitch Minyoung the idea of my promotion.”
“Saying you love me then immediately using me for a promotion. I see how your brain works.” He teased and you played along. “I really have to go though, you’re right. Will you stay here?”
“I didn’t bring my laptop, I have to go back. I will be waiting for you though.” You got on your tiptoes, to get the closest to Jaehyun’s ear. “Completely naked in my bed, so you better hurry after the meeting is over.”
“I will.” He smiled and licked into your mouth one final time before finally putting his clothes on and walking with you out of the building.
-
“Baby?” Jaehyun whispered behind your back, not giving you a second to turn around, and see him, flushing his body against your back immediately. “Can we sneak away? I want to have lunch with just you.” His arms tightly wrapped your waist, chin pressing into your shoulder. You found his nape blindly, tugging on the freshly cut short hair there. You could hear him purr at the feeling he loved so much.
“I would love that, but how do we do that?”
“Leave that to me, okay?”
“Okay.” You snickered.
“I’ll book us a table somewhere, I don’t want to do the underground food gallery.” He breathed steadily for a few moments and added on, “Lunch date.”
“Okay.” You smiled, feeling Jaehyun’s teeth nibble at the skin of your neck. “You’re going to leave a red spot there, and I won’t explain to people why I went to the kitchen for a cup of water and returned with a hickey.” You threatened your boyfriend trying to bend your back so he’d let you kiss him before the moment is completely lost and ruined by someone approaching.
“Can’t wait for tomorrow,” Jaehyun licked your neck without trying to mark it this time.
Tomorrow was the work-from-home day. You usually couldn’t wait for that too, staying in bed with Jaehyun, feeling his mouth, his touch, having way too many kisses and touches instead of having lunch.
You two were really low productivity for the past two months since you worked out stay-at-home days can be your date days. You usually had sex at least 3 times a day instead of every meal you could've had, and it even made you guilty with how disinterested you were in your job. You could barely focus on a letter when Jaehyun's tongue was making circles over your pulse point.
He was always extra busy before he became your boyfriend and now he was available at any given chance you needed him and you couldn’t stop wondering if your man also lost all and any interest in his job. He probably did, he barely locked in the way he used to even when he was in a meeting. Especially when you were in the same room with him.
Maybe you could be jobless together? Just making love to each other until you’re sick.
Like you aren’t doing that right now.
“I actually thought of coming to the office,” you licked your lips apologetically.
“Why?” He frowned.
“Office days used to be the ones where I barely got shit done and now it’s at home days.”
“I can relate.” Jaehyun smirked and let you go, finally allowing for you to turn around. You brushed the hair that he got all messed up while rubbing against you down, not forgetting a quick peck against his lips.
“I need to finish off the programming for the TV placement or else my boss will kill me. I can’t focus on anything except my boyfriend’s tongue. And he’s really good with his tongue skills, whatever meaning you put into this - he’s that. And I don’t think my boss will appreciate that distraction.”
“I heard your boss kind of has a soft spot for you though?”
“He can be a little stiff, forces me to stay overtime and listen to his complaints.” Jaehyun’s fingers landed on your waist, squeezing you in his hold.
“Good thing you’re not dating him, right?” You leaned in, closing the gap between your mouths and kissing Jaehyun with much fervour. You could feel a little bit of astonishment in Jaehyun’s motions as he malfunctioned at your immediate attempt to stick your tongue in his mouth, granting you access and flashing you against the cabinet right after.
You were walking a very thin line to exposure and also to getting turned on with no way back. He would have to take action.
-
“Hey, y/n?” It was maybe forty minutes after you returned from your little rendezvous and have completely forgotten the conversation you had with your boyfriend. You looked up, letting him know you were ears.
“Yes?” Nari’s head automatically raised too, keeping an eye on your conversations.
“Set a meeting at two.” Oh-, you blinked to not give away your little secret and straightened your face.
“Who should I invite?”
“Just you and me,” Jaehyun’s voice went lower. He blinked to not be too weird with the way he looked at you. “I wanted to discuss a pitch I could possibly need your help with.”
“Okay,” You gave him a nod, scratching the skin behind your ear. “I’ll book the meeting room then.”
“But we wanted to have lunch at two?” Nari protested, “Jaemin has a meeting at 3PM and we can’t go later than that.”
“The pitch is pretty urgent, you can go have lunch without us.” Jaehyun brushed his gaze by everyone and plopped on his chair.
“God, I really hate him at times.” Nari rolled her eyes at you in pure cluelessness. “I could bring you some food back.”
“It’s okay.” You tried to let out an exasperated sigh. “I’ll go grab a bite after this urgent meeting.”
-
You let a sigh out plopping onto Jaehyun’s chair next to Nari. He was out of office for the morning, he needed to see his mom and left home at 6AM to be able to be back to work around lunch time.
You took the vacant seat and Nari’s eyes trailed your frame in disbelief.
“Oh he’s going to really hate that.” She chuckled amused. “He loves this seat like it makes any difference in his work.”
It doesn’t, but it also does - this seat gives him a perfect spot to your seat and he’s able to give you heart eyes every time he raises his head. The fact he shared that bit of information with you wass so sweet and so endearing, you were showing little hearts with your fingers every time you caught him stare and his eyes would turn the cutest shade of pink.
“He’s off today anyways, he won’t know,” you shrugged and opened your laptop, turning it on by pressing a button. You needed to play your part in this co-worker thing to not bust your covers.
“But Jaehyun’s going to be back after lunch.” Nari frowned at you confused, “He wrote it in out groupchat.”
“Really?” You raised your brows. “I must’ve missed it.” You sighed, “I want to spend a bit of time with you my love! Before I’m forced to go back there.”
“Okay-okay,” Nari chuckled. “I have to check the ppt and we can go grab some tea.”
“Yes, I’ll go check the reports girls sent me yesterday,” you sighed. Locking in for the first time in weeks for your job. It was crazy to think how ever since Jaehyun gave in you’ve been living in this bubble where nothing mattered as long as he was with you.
You started your day off with the reporters, then took a little break with Nari to the kitchen for the tea and morning chat. As you returned to the table you saw a few notifications in your phone.
from puppy❤️❤️❤️: mom said I should bring you next time
from puppy❤️❤️❤️: and I agree, next time we’re going here together
from puppy❤️❤️❤️: I’ll be omw to the office in about an hour, see you soon
to puppy❤️❤️❤️: love youuu
After that, you’ve put the phone away continuing with productivity. More reports, letters, discussion of a task with one of your subordinates and finally lunch. It was just you, Nari and the girl on your team for the lunch and you quickly ate your meal, to lock into work once more.
You didn’t even hear Jaehyun approach, because his steps and greetings were silenced by the headphones on your head. Nari went to the bathroom and your eyes trained on the monitor. You flinched when your headphones fell onto your neck and turned around to see the reason behind it.
“Ignoring me?” Jaehyun smiled and took the briefest glance around before pressing his lips to the side of your head. “Hi, my love,” he murmured and raised to his height. “Keeping my seat warm?” He chuckled casually.
“Mmh,” you smiled and caught his palm that took the laptop out of its bag. Jaehyun’s eyes immediately ran around the office. “Hello,” you leaned in a little to give his knuckles a kiss and after a short squeeze of his fingers let him go.
“Want me to go to your chair?”
“No, I’ll return you your seat.” You got up and took a step back as soon as Nari got in your peripheral vision. You swiped the smile away from your face and grabbed your laptop and notebook. “Have you eaten?”
“No, not yet. I was thinking to get something in the vending machine?”
“No!” You gasped, “that’s bad for your stomach, you’ve got to ear properly. I can make you company!” You flirted at the end of your sentence and Jaehyun swallowed a chuckle, happy with the suggestion.
“Okay, give me the minutes I’ll check my email and we can go.” You nodded, turning to Nari that just got to her seat in time.
“Told you!” She glanced behind you at the man. You looked back at him once more too, noticing how he’d taken a pink post-it out of his notebook and tucked it in the corner of the screen. You looked closer and realised, Jaehyun placed a scribble of a flower you drew for him months ago.
-
You kept yourselves composed as you walked down the hall to the elevators, keeping your arms behind your back to leash the excitement.
“How was the morning?” Jaehyun glanced over at you.
“Good, I’ve done so much stuff. Like honestly, everything I had hanging - dealt with.”
“Looks like my absence really works well for you.”
“My workflow, not me.” You corrected him softly. “How was your mom? Is everything okay?”
“Yes, we went to the hospital for a check up, but she’s perfectly fine they said. I drove her home and got here.”
“That’s good,” you nodded and pressed the elevator button.
“Mmh, she’s really looking forward to meeting you.” He pulled on your elbow and you smiled at his persistent invitation. It gave you anxiety on second thought.
“Me too.” You admitted shyly and peeked into the elevators as the doors slowly opened. “Oh my god! No way! An empty one!” You grabbed Jaehyun’s wrist quickly and pulled him inside, pressing 1 and barely waiting for the door to close.
You hugged his neck and pulled his mouth next to yours. “Hi.” You smooched his lips, Jaehyun’s arms immediately crawling onto your bum.
“I missed you,” his mouth closed the gap between you. “Can’t wait for the weekend to just lay in bed with you until I get sick of it.”
“You said we were going to go out on the weekend with your friends.” You wiped his mouth with your finger to get the gloss off his cupid’s bow. Jaehyun licked his lips.
“I know, but that’s Saturday night, the rest is just us.” He pecked your cheek and unglued himself from you when the elevator slowed down and opened its doors on floor 1.
-
“You’ll never believe what sort of gossip I got.” Nari grabbed onto your forearm, pushing her chair closer to yours in the meeting room. You two timidly looked at each other at the end of the meeting and you knew she wanted you to stay behind. Finally, the last person was out and she was free to spill it all.
“What is it? Oh my god.” You gasped, office gossip was at the top of your priorities, always.
“Our boss got himself a girlfriend!” She wheezed and covered her mouth with both her palms.
“Huh?” You chocked on your next breath, waving it away with a little hand gesture. “What boss?”
“Mister Jeong Jaehyun.” She pronounced his name in a teasing manner. You gulped, trying to not act too surprised at the news.
“How do you know?”
“Saw his phone notifs at the previous meeting today. First of all, the lock screen.” Her hands drew a rectangle in the air.
Shit, if she saw his lock screen you were seconds away from being scolded for hiding your relationship status. He had the cutest picture of your face squeezed in his hold with his lips on yours as his lock screen, and even though you told Jaehyun on multiple occasions to make it at least his home screen, since this one was too risky - he protested. And now you had your best friend half way exposing you. “I think it’s him kissing someone.” Ugh… someone? You blinked relieved or confused she didn’t recognise you, you weren’t sure.
“I saw the text message from a contact named my baby girl with a stupid pink heart?” She winced at the memory. “Ugh, he’s literally so cringe, bet his girlfriend made him do that.” No! you almost protested.
He actually made you change his name in your phone from Jeong Jaehyun to anything more heart warming. You chose puppy with three red hearts because you never expected Jaehyun to be so clingy and so in love with you. In a good way.
“I couldn’t read the message properly because he put his phone away, but she was saying something like baby I miss you so much, want to go back home and kiss your mouth and something along the lines. Ew.” It wasn’t exactly the right wording.
The right wording was babyyy I miss you a whole crazy lot. Can’t wait to go back home and have you all to myself. I know we’re just in separate rooms within the building… I might need help with this Jeong Jaehyun addiction... Is it mine or yours tonight? I love you
-
“Y/n, hi darling. How have you been?” Minyoung gestured for you to sit down.
“Good, thank you. New team’s been good, miss Taeyeon terribly, though.” You carefully fixed your hair behind your ear in a nervous tick.
“Good, that’s good. About the team, though.” She licked her lips and let a sigh out and you found yourself get even more anxious. What was it?
“Yeah?” You asked lightheartedly.
“Recently, one of our colleagues lost their phone at the office. Somehow they were convinced it was stolen.” Minyoung seemingly started off from afar. You looked at her confused and nodded.
“Okay?” Did she think you, of all people, stole the phone? Or someone from your account?
“We had to look through security cameras, they were really stressed out over the loss.” Minyeong wrote something down in her notebook and you were officially confused with where she was leading this and why was she acting so nonchalant.
“Did I steal the phone and somehow didn’t notice?” You tried to joke around.
“No, as I said, we had to watch the cameras.” You still didn’t catch what she meant by that, even the pointed look she gave you didn’t help. Were you a lost cause?
“Okay?” You let an awkward chuckle slip past your lips.
“Right, I see you’re not catching up. I’m going to say this straightforwardly. We might’ve seen you going beyond the professional bounds with Jaehyun. On multiple occasions. More like, every day we’ve gone through. Want to tell me something about that?” She sighed and dropped the nonchalance, stare challenging your entire existence. You audibly gulped and froze on the spot. What were you supposed to tell her? Were you being scolded for getting a boyfriend and kissing in every corner like you were two high schoolers…? Well, that’s possibly it. You nodded, acknowledging.
“Ugh, I’m sorry. We really didn’t mean to be acting inappropriate in the office.” You made puppy eyes at her to let her know you really meant it. You were sorry. And also dead embarrassed she saw Jaehyun touching you in all the ways she shouldn’t have. How many people saw the footage with her? Was this an appropriate time to ask?
“It’s not about that. You’re a subordinate of his.” Minyoung quickly corrected you.
“I know, but it happened way before that. We should’ve told you beforehand.”
“Now I see why Jaehyun was so against taking Taeyeon’s account.”
“Yes… he didn’t want to pick between work me and… well, just me.”
“He still ended up taking Taeyeon’s account and didn’t make a choice.” She raised a brow at you.
“It was me. I forced him into dating me, I’m sorry. I had no idea he had an actual reason not to.”
“Honey, it’s not about that. It’s about him not being able to be indifferent and objective in things like salary increases, promotion and evaluation of work because he’s closer to you than he’s supposed to be. I suggest that we move you from his account. And by suggest I mean we are moving you to another team.” Minyoung took her notebook once more and went through its pages. You guessed she was about to read off there who was supposed to be your new boss.
“Okay,” you scratched your brow, worried, disappointed, hurt? You loved working with Nari, loved your clients. It was so painful to let them all go. “Any other teams in need of group heads?”
“No,” she shook her head and your mouth opened. It’s not like you were fired… right? Minyoung must’ve read the panic in your eyes, shortening the suspense pause. “But there’s a team in need of an Account Director, I thought you’ll be perfect to cover that.”
“Oh my god!” You really tried hard to hold in a wheeze. “Thank you, thank you so much! I will make sure the team and the client, for them to be all satisfied, oh my God.” You closed your mouth with your palm to not scream, closed your eyes for a moment to collect yourself and not cry out of happiness.
-
“Hey baby,” you walked up to Jaehyun straight out of the meeting with Minyoung. The man raised his eyes first with the softest smile, then processed the environment and gave you a little confused frown.
“Hi?” He looked at you like a curious puppy and it was hard to continue your act.
“I’m leaving.” You crossed your arms over your chest.
“Huh? Leaving what?” Jaehyun looked back at his screen and then at you.
“Your team.” You looked him dead in the eyes and watched him process the words in about five seconds, jumping from his chair and standing before you.
“What? Why?”
“Minyoung said you can’t be objective about my raises and achievements while we’re dating, which is a fair point, so she’s separating us work wise.”
“How did she know about us dating?” Jaehyun’s eyes got wider than you’ve ever seen them and you honestly wished you had a camera on you to film his cute reactions.
“They had to watch security cams. Probably saw you groping my ass all of the time,” you snorted out, breaking character.
“Oh fu-.” Jaehyun sighed out fully shattered.
“She said she saw us act inappropriately so I lowkey doubt it’s even that. We’ve made out maybe a good dozen of times in every corner of this office.”
“Fuck, but… You were my favourite subordinate? This is so upsetting.”
“Well, seems like we’re going to be equals starting next month.” You finally broke the news to him, smiling and spreading your arms wide for him to hug you.
“No way!” Jaehyun scooped you in his arms immediately. “Baby, so proud of you. Congratulations.” He pressed his mouth into your cheek, patting your bum afterwards. Your arms wrapped his shoulder blades and you’d felt his lips over your shoulder.
“Ugh… excuse me?” Renjun let out a loud cough from behind your back. You turned around, still in Jaehyun’s hold, and saw Nari frozen with her chocolate bar half way to her mouth, Jaemin with his mouth adorned by a smirk and Renjun’s mouth covered with his palm.
“Shit,” Jaemin let out.
“My baby girl with the stupid pink heart is you?” Nari gasped, eyes moving down onto your bum, that was still covered by Jaehyun’s palm. You moved the hand away, smiling, awkwardly.
“Y/n is going to be promoted next month.” Jaehyun announced, arms letting go of you.
“Oh my god!” Nari exclaimed. “But that’s-. You’ve been secretly fucking?! For how long?”
“Nari, please.” You hissed, looking around the office ashamed. It was enough public humiliation for you for one day.
“They’ve been doing this for six months.” Jaemin let everyone know in a casual manner.
You turned around to Jaehyun and hit his stomach with the back of your hand. “You told him?!”
“I didn’t!” He’d looked at his friend scandalised. “How do you even know?”
“I shouldn’t probably say that out loud.” The man shrugged and looked like he was out of his mind bored.
“Na Jaemin you’ll be dead if you don’t!” You pressed.
“My friend apparently is your neighbour. She showed me her door cam accidentally filmed a couple make out, I recognised you two.”
“And you didn’t say a thing!?” You gasped.
“Why would I? It’s none of my business. I then saw you basically fuck each other at the parking lot like four months ago. I didn’t need to put my thinking cap on to figure you two out. Same car, same time of arrival, always leaving together, grabbing tea together, hanging in the kitchen together. Y/n’s been doing meetings from your apartment, dude. The background!”
“Fuck!” You hissed once more.
“Shit, how did I never figure it out.” Nari sighed out.
“You said no one knows what your kitchen looks like!” You turned back to Jaehyun, that was his exact words. He said he never connected to meetings from there and it’ll be discreet. Discreet my ass.
“Dude, I’ve been to yours.” Jaemin rolled his eyes like Jaehyun was being ridiculous.
“Yeah, once. For three minutes. I wasn’t aware of your observing skills.”
You blinked, absolutely embarrassed and exposed, but also so relieved. No one overreacted, Nari wasn’t opposed to the idea. They took it well and you felt such a big weight fall off your shoulders. Everyone officially knew. There was no need to play hide and seek. Thank God.
Jaehyun caressed your side carefully as Nari got in front of you and grabbed your arm.
“I can’t believe I’ve been talking things to you about your boyfriend!” She hissed at you and pulled you away from the group of the men, sure enough to examine you about this whole relationship.
You looked behind your shoulder and saw Jaehyun’s eyes quickly land on you with a reassuring smile and you’d gotten your lungs full of air ready to answer a question or two.
warnings: cursing, pregnant reader, sex on the phone (lowkey), long distance (yearning, a lot of fluff), deep themes/concerns regarding pregnancy, alcohol consumption (Jaehyun), labor conversations
words: 5k
this is part of the Now, are you happy universe
“Hi.” You let a sigh out as you picked up the call.
“Hi, baby, how did it go?” You could tell by the tone of Jaehyun’s voice he’d been waiting to call you the entire morning.
“Ugh,” you fumbled with the zip on your jacket. “I guess we’re parents of two before the leaves turn green next year.”
“Fuuuuck. I’m so excited.” Jaehyun let the loudest sigh out of his lungs.
You could tell he was dead scared of what you would tell him on your first call out of the hospital, of the way you’d sound while saying it. You knew way too well he was only feigning composure dying internally at the uncertainty for the whole week. The fact he had to fly to another part of the planet didn’t help keep the overwhelming feelings of possible parenthood at bay either.
“Me too. Despite everything, I’m just so happy I don’t have to be stupid about this again. Can have you-.” You tapped the steering wheel, admitting what’s been circling in your head the entire morning. You had Jaehyun, you had him as your husband. He was your support and strength in everything and you had no reason to hide things from him, try to protect him or anything you thought you did right before. You were a hundred percent transparent and that made your head times lighter as you sat down in your car.
“Honey, of course I’m with you.” Jaehyun went quiet, clearly suppressing the excitement in his body in case you couldn’t really reciprocate the feeling. “So, does this mean you’re… around 2 months pregnant?” You chuckled at the tone of his voice. He took a deliberate pause like he didn’t already count it down in his head a million times ever since he saw that positive test in his hands.
"Yeah, doctor Kim said she's surprised it took you this long to persuade me for baby number two, with how eager you were when Sohee was born. You had to see her face when I told her this one is also unplanned."
“Well, that’s just the way we do it,” he snorted into the phone.
“That’s so embarrassing of us,” you both chuckled into quietness. “Doctor Kim says she’s sure I messed up the pill schedule, but I definitely did not! I was cautious ever since I got pregnant the first time-.” You sighed into the phone once more, thinking back where and when you could’ve slipped up, but there wasn’t an instance.
You had a whole damn alarm sequence going off in your phone every morning, that’s how anxious you were about skipping the pills. It must’ve been a messed up pack or something. “She even made a joke how your spermatozoids are so active they are getting me pregnant even when I’m taking these pills. She says conceiving on birth control is so rare she’d rather believe I had a messed up pack of pills.” You landed your palm onto your stomach, acceptance hitting you like a brick.
You’re pregnant with your second baby right when you just got back to work.
“Well, in that case we could sue them.” Jaehyun snorted, amused, taking you out of the trance.
"Back when I was carrying Sohee, she said it's insanely rare to get pregnant off of taking one single pill at the wrong time and said my man must be very fertile and we must've hit the ovulation day. Now I'm pregnant with keeping the perfect pill schedule; I'm never having sex with you again." Jaehyun let a deep chuckle out of his throat. The one that made your arms shiver, but you still kept yourself together to tell him off. “No, don’t even laugh, I’m serious, we’re going celibate.”
“Baby, you’re not going celibate.” Jaehyun cooed into the phone.
"Then you're carrying our next baby," you said much softer this time, knowing exactly what it would do to him. Admitting you'd have more kids with him - you were sure if he was able to teleport, he'd be chocking you in a hug by now.
"We're having more babies?" Jaehyun whispered softly.
"If you're carrying them, then yes, I'm all up for that." You couldn't allow him to sweep in that direction; you had 7 months ahead of you carrying the one currently in your stomach.
"Ha-ha. You know, if that's the case we could just do condoms."
“Only if you’re putting two of those on yourself at once.”
"Love, can we not talk about rolling condoms onto me? We're leaving for dinner in fifteen." Jaehyun groaned and your arms and legs were covered in goosebumps in an instance.
"Mmmmh, want to have sex on the phone?" You murmured.
"Baby, celibacy." Jaehyun let out a pent up sigh. "You're talking to me and driving?”
“No, I just got in the car. I know what you think of me multitasking.”
“I love you.” Jaehyun suddenly sighed into the phone.
“I’m gonna go pick up Sohee from your mom.” You ignored his wish to fall into that sappiness. You knew he’d make you cry, you knew he’d cry himself. And you needed to drive, and he needed to go and have his dinner.
“Tell her I love her too.” He whispered softly.
“Your mom or your daughter?” You couldn’t let the chance to tease him slip.
“Both?”
“Okay, I will.” You nodded and pressed the button to start the engine of your car.
“I really miss you, I don’t even want to have the dinner now.” There he was, sulking like a puppy.
“Don’t start it. You don’t want me to get all emotional and crying, do you?”
“I don’t, you’re right.” Jaehyun cleared his throat a little.
“I’m going to really lose my shit and you’ll regret knocking me up rea-a-a-lly soon.” You tried to make him smile a little.
“I really want to get back home and into your arms. I will never regret sharing my life with you.” He was deep though, it seemed, ignoring the humour to continue with his heartfelt words.
“Go have your dinner, I don’t want to cry, I need to drive.”
“Right.” Jaehyun pulled himself together once more.
“Where are you right now?” You looked into the rear view mirror, wondering.
“Argentina.”
“Damn. I wish I could travel to Argentina.” You snorted into the phone.
"Really? You know what I would tell you right now." Grab Sohee and hop on the plane; we're going to have the best time, and then we'll go somewhere else, and you could stay with me until we can go back home.
"Yeah, and I'm urgently adding in that it's a joke. I'm going to work tomorrow and Sohee has daycare."
"Of course you do. My girls are such busy ladies." He cooed on the phone affectionately. You could tell how much pleasure it brought him to be able to say this stuff.
“Mmmh. You know, after I gave birth to Sohee I said that I’m not doing this again. And somehow I’m already doing this again? What the fuck.”
"Baby, do we need to seriously talk about this? Think, if we want to have this baby? We can do that when I'm back in the country." Jaehyun lowered the tone of his voice, paying proper attention to your conversation once more.
He always knew when to change from playful to considerate and thoughtful, ugh. How could you not just do whatever the hell he wanted? More babies? Let’s do five. Quit your job? Go everywhere with him? Anything.
He couldn’t even imagine how much self composure it took to deny him the irresponsible things he wanted. To keep your head clear, at lease sometimes, and do the right things.
“No, we don’t. We will obviously have the baby.” Jaehyun sighed, clearly concerned, keeping in mind your history. “I just want to fuss about it with you because it happened so suddenly again, and last time I decided it all for the both of us-.”
“No, no. I wanna hear all the fussing. I wanna hear everything, having another baby and being through it all with you really is a blessing, even though I don’t believe in this stuff, I was hoping I’ll get the chance to go through that with you and I was given the opportunity.”
"Baby, for someone who doesn't believe in anything superstitious or supreme, you have a lot of beliefs about us."
"Well doesn't that mean I'm ready to put aside everything I believe in for you?” You swallowed the sweetness of his words. He really was ready to put aside anything for you and your family.
“No, but for real.” You sighed once more. “Dr. Kim says it must’ve been an upset stomach or something like that, the pill didn’t have enough time to dissolve, before it left my body. But it’s not like I was sick in the last few months either.” You blabbered and thought about it once more. There really wasn’t any fault on your side with the pills, you didn’t mess a thing.
“Baby.” Jaehyun called for your attention gravely.
“What?” You froze, scared of what was about to come. Did something happen?
“Baby, no. You were sick. Remember how we got food poisoning in that seafood restaurant?” You let a gasp fill the silence.
“Fuck you, Jeong Jaehyun, for taking us there! Oh my God?” You felt a glaring headache wrap your head in a moment, reminiscing how you’ve practically puked your guts out after that raw seafood failure. Jaehyun on the other side of the line full on laughed at your reaction. “Did you count it down to my ovulation?” That was the only logical explanation for you to get knocked up from one time. ONE.
Twice in the row.
“What? No,” the sound of his chuckle let you know he was genuine. “I wasn’t-, I have no idea when you’re ovulating baby. I’m just shooting my shot and hoping it’s going to be my lucky day. With the pill or not,” you cringed at the analogy.
“I wouldn’t be surprised if you schemed and picked that restaurant just because someone on the reviews said they got a poisoning just so you get that low protection window.” You knew he was way too well aware how all of this birth control thing works, because first he was scared to get you pregnant, then when he did do it the first time - he read a bunch of articles online on the way pills work and stuff. He probably knew more than you did and you wouldn’t be surprised at all.
"Well, if I had schemed, I would've done something simple like hiding your pills for our honeymoon next week, which I honestly have thought about." You would've reacted in some way to that confession, but it was too late and pointless now that you were pregnant. "I wouldn't threaten my wife's health to have a baby."
“You know that if you did do something like that, you would’ve threatened your honeymoon, having to do condoms through the whole thing, loser,” you sneered and hung up, giving him air kisses as goodbyes.
"Baby," it felt like Jaehyun sighed right into your ear; you tried to lower the volume blindly by pressing on the button.
"I thought you were already sleeping," you let him know, walking over the kitchen chewing on the leftover banana.
"No, I just got back to my room."
“Oh." You nodded.
"It's a video call." Jaehyun let you know, and you moved your phone from your ear, focusing on his face all up close on your screen. All cute and squishable.
You chuckled at his face expression, pressing your lips to the frontal camera to give him a virtual kiss. Just because he was your husband and you missed him horribly. He smiled, making his whiskers appear, and you couldn't hold back from scrunching your nose up. You loved him so much.
"How was the dinner?”
"I love you.” Jaehyun let out with a sigh. You paused your banana consuming process and took a better look at the screen.
"Honey, are you tipsy?" You stared at his face. Lips a cute shade of pink, cheeks rosy, if he wasn’t making out with someone just a minute ago, which you doubted was the case, he most likely was drunk.
"Maybe? I love you so much.” He smiled, getting his face even closer to the screen.
"I love you too," you chewed on your lower lip, staring at his face in silence. You missed him so much you had to do something about it. "I thought we'd settled on that before we got married, huh?" You teased, moving around the kitchen to pour yourself a cup of tea.
"No, but I wanted to tell you that I love you for everything that you are, and what you've done for me, and for giving birth to Sohee-.” He began to blabber, making your heart clench.
“Jae-." You tried to stop him.
"No, baby, I want you to know that I love you the most for carrying our second baby.” You couldn’t continue standing, feeling your legs give out on you.
“Jaeh-." You mewled weakly.
"Baby, I'm so happy to have this baby with you.” Me too, darling. I’m so happy to have it all with you.
"You know, Dr. Kim says that anything can happen. Miscarriages happen very often in the first trimester; we have to be careful with our feelings." You whispered the painful truth you've been told by your doctor. She always wanted you to understand all the complicity that came with carrying a human into the world, even if it felt horrible at times. You wanted Jaehyun to be aware of this harsh truth too; he’d skipped the scary period the first time, he must know all the complicity of the full road.
"I know that nothing is going to happen; we're having this baby and I'm so excited." You nodded, agreeing; you were just hoping he was right.
"Sweetheart, given you’re tipsy and in your feelings, have you by any chance told the news to anyone?"
"No, like I promised, I'm going to keep it in until you say it's okay."
"Good boy,” you gave him a little praise that let you see his teeth in a proud smile. Oh, he was so gone, you couldn't believe he got so drunk at a simple dinner.
"I really want to touch your stomach. And just you,” he shuffled and pressed his face into the pillow, letting a tired sigh out. On a second thought, maybe it wasn’t the tiredness he sighed due to-.
"Mmh, seems like you're also horny?” You teased.
"I am, and the earliest I could get home is in 4 days.” He let the same sigh out and you were certain that the sighs weren’t from tiredness. They weren’t even sighs, he was gasping.
"Poor you-.” You cooed.
"I fear you're going to have to take the sick leave for the entirety of next week."
"Mmh. Why is that?” You scrunched your nose up once more, getting the phone into your face.
"Didn't I say that I want to touch you? Really. Badly.” Jaehyun gasped at every word.
"Bet you want to eat me out.” You teased, tongue swiping against your lower lip.
"You bet right." Jaehyun let out a hitched breath.
"Are you touching yourself?” Your brow raised, lip in between your teeth now to remind you that you can’t indulge in what he clearly wanted you to indulge in.
"Mmh, maybe?” He smirked teasingly.
"Okay, I'm going then. It's 2pm here, I have to wake Sohee up in twenty minutes.” You looked back at the clock on the wall.
"Come on, baby, tell me something.” Jaehyun cried into the phone.
"I took Sohee's diaper off for a few minutes before her nap and in those five minutes she managed to poop her pants.” You chuckled, bending your neck a little to look at him with a smirk.
"Baby, that's not turning me off.” Oh you bet it doesn’t. Probably went right over his head.
"Okay, then I'm going."
"No. I'm going to fuck my hand because I miss you, and you don’t want to tell me anything?” He pouted in the most seductive way and you were half way down to taking a short trip to Argentina.
"Good luck with that?"
“Ugh." Jaehyun groaned into the pillow, making you wonder what the situation looked like below his waist. Was he properly touching himself or just-.
Yeah, it’s better you stop. You need to take care of your daughter.
“If you’d just show me your tits real quick-.” He gasped and you were pretty sure he was properly touching himself. No way in hell he was gasping like that and doing it-. It really made you hot all over.
“Jae-.”
“I’m desperate and I’m asking for at least a peek of your skin, baby. I’m serious.” He pleaded once more.
It was supposed to be him and you staying in bed and touching each other all you want, kissing each other all you want, watch stupid romcoms that pissed you off with their unlogical plot, eating greasy food and even more for an entire week after your wedding. Somehow his agency messed it all up and added urgently a few schedules, sending him on a South America tour two days after you got married and there was no chance for you to indulge in all that marital bliss.
You even had it all planned out whose parents would’ve had Sohee on what day. It should’ve been perfect you and him time. You swallowed your sadness, watching Jaehyun’s shoulder move as his eyes squeezed in pleasure.
You raised your palm up, so he'd see it. "See my hand?" Jaehyun opened his eyes immediately and grunted in reply. You turned it into a fist. "It could've wrapped around you, if you didn’t have to travel away from me so much.”
"Really wish right now I had a regular job.” Jaehyun paused taking a hitched breath, you could only imagine what his arm was doing. “I'll quit and be your puppy."
"Ugh, no. How are we going to feed off your wallet if we're having equal incomes?"
"You're not feeding off of me. I'd gladly have you as my sugar baby, but you don't want to quit your annoying job.” You noticed his shoulder halt to a stop and figured out he was getting into his nagging mode. You’d rather him stick to jerking off while talking to you.
"It's not annoying-. Anyway, are you getting yourself off or agitating me to quit my job once again?"
"First one."
"Then I'm still going. Can't wait till you're back in our bed and get yourself off inside of me. Bye-e-e." You puckered your lips at him in a hurry and hung up.
"Bab-." You could hear Jaehyun trying to talk with you before the call disconnected.
From husband🤰🏻: at least a pic?
From husband🤰🏻: come on baby I know you miss me too
To husband🤰🏻: [sent a picture]
"Hi my sweet angel." Jaehyun whispered as you shuffled in bed, ready to ask him what was his sweetness about until you opened your eyes and saw him focus on your stomach, lifting the shirt and kissing its lower part as he registered you were up.
“And I thought you loved me.” You teased.
"Good morning, the love of my life, kindest, hottest, smartest, sexiest girl I was able to convince to be my wife and carry my babies." Jaehyun ran his mouth up your stomach, making you giggle as his breath tingled your skin. He stopped moving the clothing along your body and propped his face before yours, balancing on his elbows.
“That’s a little overboard. Morning, though.” You chuckled, letting Jaehyun kiss your cheek.
“How are we feeling?” He asked, eyes darting down to your bare stomach and back to your eyes.
“Baby, I’m all good.” You chuckled, palm caressing the softness of his cheek.
“You’re sure?” He let a furrow of his brow slip for a second.
“A hundred percent. If I was sick I’d be hugging the toilet.” You calmed him down once more.
He'd asked you the question maybe about twenty times a day, and when he wasn't able to do it in person - he sent it through messages. He'd worried himself so much he almost cancelled your entire honeymoon because he'd worried about you being pregnant on a plane for so many hours. You had to constantly remind him that you were pregnant. Not deceased.
At this point it even slipped your mind once or twice how his partial absence the first time maybe was a good thing. At least he wasn’t making himself sick to his stomach and you out of your mind mad.
“And if it’s anything else or you need me to do anything, you’ll tell me, right?” He caught your hand over his cheek and pressed his lips against it.
“Sweetheart, don’t panic. It’s not my first ride-.” You twisted your hand and now was holding his chin between your fingers with a smug smirk adorning your lips.
“It is mine.” He whispered under his breath, vulnerable and that stung.
“I swear it’s all good.” You rubbed your knuckles into his jaw for him to unclench his suddenly set muscle. “Did your parents send any messages?” You tried to get his attention off the topic.
“Mom said they’re taking Sohee over to your parents for a Sunday brunch, they’re going to leave her at theirs. She put on the cutest dress you got her last month. Want to see?” You were right to assume he’d switch his brain, and you nodded excitedly.
“I miss our baby.” You whined, taking your phone from the night stand and opening the family chat.
Jaehyun’s mom send pictures of Sohee having her breakfast, and also a short clip of her in the car on the way to your parents house, bobbing her head to some kids tunes Jaehyun’s dad put on in the car. “I miss her so much, I’m the worst mom for leaving her alone.” You felt on the verge of tears all of a sudden, knowing damn well hormones were starting to kick your ass.
“Honey, she has 2 sets of grandparents with her.” Somehow it was Jaehyun’s turn to chuckle and calm you down.
“Still, what kind of mom am I for leaving a baby to go and have fun?”
“Baby, we’ve been away for 12 hours, even less probably.”
“And I’m already sick to my stomach.”
“I think it’s either pregnancy sickness or hormones.” He’d looked at you like he knows things you don’t.
“Don’t connect everything to this pregnancy.”
"I will," Jaehyun's fingers landed on your belly button. "We both agreed that we don't have any time at all with each other. Since Sohee was born, we've only been together when she's asleep, and I might be greedy, but I loved you before I loved her, so I need you to myself all the time." Your fingers ran through Jaehyun's hair, brushing them backwards and watching them all fall back down over his forehead. “I feel incredibly guilty, but a couple of nights with her loving grandparents won’t hurt, and a couple of nights of good sleep, good food, your body glued to mine at all costs while we have nothing to do, will do so much good for the both of us. And now that we know you’re pregnant, it’s especially in time and needed.”
“You’re always right.” You squeezed Jaehyun’s chin between your fingers, moving his mouth next to yours.
"Shit, can you repeat that? I need to get it on tape for the next time you won't listen to what I have to say." You forced his mouth onto yours, not giving him any chance to be soft, sneaking your tongue into his mouth, just because you could. Just because honeymoon was supposed to be all about you and him. And it only made sense after a good sleep to have an even better time.
“You can try getting it out of me.”
“Fuck, that’s some invitation I can’t turn down.”
“Then don’t hold back,” you flirted, crawling back, so Jaehyun would get on top of you. Someone knocked on the door of your villa and Jaehyun pushed himself away, getting up. “Who the fuck is that?” You furrowed your brow.
“I didn’t know your hormones kicked in and you’d wake up wanting to fuck. I called for breakfast.” Jaehyun stood up, smoothing down his shirt and walked to the door.
“Stop! Connecting! Everything! To this pregnancy!” You grunted, as Jaehyun opened the door and allowed the hotel staff roll in the cart with a breakfast spread. He bowed politely with a thank you and walked back to you, pushing the cart along with him.
“How can I not, when you’re trying to fuck me at 8 am.”
“I’d fuck you whether or not I was pregnant. It’s our honeymoon, I want to do anything that involves you and me. It’s anyway lunch time back home.” You let an eye roll pass your annoyed face expression. If he was going to talk about hormones any longer you were going to return to that celibacy promise just to piss him off in return.
“That’s so not true. You’re not a fan of daylight sex,” Jaehyun let out like he knew everything about you. Well, he did, but it’s not exactly what you meant. He was wrong and was trying to get on your nerves; you were certain.
"That is so! Not! True! I'm being responsible because I have to take care of Sohee at any other time. I would've had sex with you all the time, if that wasn't the case." Jaehyun pecked your mouth, helping you crawl to the corner of the bed to see the food.
“You know that we did date before Sohee was born? Not once have you acted like you wanted to have sex with me all the time. Okay, no, maybe when you were out of your mind into me in Yangyang, but that’s probably when Sohee was conceived, so it absolutely doesn’t count.”
“Right, because in all those other instances when we had other people within hearing capacity in the daytime, I definitely should’ve jumped you right at the entrance of your dorm.”
“Well, yeah.” Jaehyun acted like he took some time to think in through and scratched his brow, with a playful grin.
“Oh, shut up. You would’ve moved out and quit your career if I did that to you.” You rolled your eyes at him and reached out for the orange juice.
“Baby, I hope you’re not being serious. I’m teasing. You quite literally jumped me any time it was appropriate, and tried to do so on many inappropriate occasions too and I stopped you. But you are pregnant and you do have an outburst of your sex drive when you are pregnant. You travelled to Busan so I could touch you when you were 8 months. You wouldn’t take a taxi, let alone drive, around Seoul to come see me at work.” Jaehyun took a bite of a croissant and chuckled with his mouth full.
Ugh. Yes, you did that because you were needy for his attention. You hated every single time he brought it up in conversation. You were desperate and it wasn't supposed to be this funny. Even if he was using it in an endearing way.
“I didn’t come for that specifically,” you defended like you always did.
“You did come for that. I know because you literally took a flight back home in 5 hours after coming. Pun intended. Two flights heavily pregnant just so I could give you an orgasm is crazy. You have hands for urgency matters.” He blinked at you while chewing.
“It’s not about hands, you fool. It’s about you. It’s always about you, because I love you,” you leaned in, letting your arm immediately hook around his neck.
“I love you too.” Jaehyun whispered, pressing his mouth into yours.
“I want my breakfast.” You said into his mouth.
“Right, sorry. Breakfast first, I can have you a little later.”
-
“You’re going into labor with me, right?” You moved the book you were reading to the side to look at your husband. You were laying on the air mattresses in the pool connected to your villa. You (Jaehyun) managed to move the umbrella so it’d shade a square of water and you both hid under it while still enjoying the outside. He was just careful not to tan before a photoshoot he had upon your return and you were forced to hide with him because he was scared of you overheating. Because he managed to read a whole damn 101 when your wife’s pregnant guide on his spare time on the flight.
“No,” he’d reached to touch your fingers over the water, like that would make his words sound any better.
“What do you mean no?” You squeezed his fingers in yours instead and he’d moved you closer, bumping your mattress with his.
“I can’t.” He shook his head sincerely, but that wasn’t reasoned by anything. You knew it.
“Last time you had a schedule, this time I don't take no as a valid answer. You’re going with me. No matter the day and time, I have the right to be selfish once; I pick going into labour,” you pouted, too hurt to even consider his words to be serious.
“Baby, I will faint,” Jaehyun picked up droplets of water and splashed them over your stomach with care, laying his cooled down palm over your still not showing any signs of pregnancy skin.
“Okay,” you looked at him. “They’ll bring you back to life.”
“I’ll faint once more. I honestly can’t.” He’d spread his fingers to hold onto the skin and finally moved his gaze onto you. He looked too scared for you to pick a fight or force him into agreeing.
“Why?” You whispered.
“I’m just scared,” he admitted and cleared his throat after. He’d let that weird glance pass in his gaze for a split second letting you know he was acting.
You knew he could feel like that, matter of fact you knew he was scared; it was normal to be, but he’d pushed it too far with a little pout and now you were convinced he was overdoing the play.
“Oh, get a grip. I’m pushing a whole damn baby out. Our second one, also. Give me a good reason, at least,” you’d frowned.
“I’m probably going to throw up. Okay? I’m scared to see you in pain and not have a single thing I could do about it. it’s giving me anxiety. When you were birthing Sohee I got so drunk after the photoshoot I barely opened my eyes the next morning to come see you. I otherwise would’ve thrown up, I know it for sure. Just thinking, imagining the process. It’s up in my throat,” he grabbed onto his throat and you didn’t need to be a detective to know he was dead serious this time. You had to let go of the topic.
“How about you don’t put any more babies inside of me then. I’m also scared, also anxious and will throw up from fear.” You mumbled a little playful.
“Condoms, okay. We’re doing condoms. You’re fair; that’s fair.” Jaehyun clearly felt the aftershocks of just imagining you pushing a baby out, making your heart beat in your chest. “I will be satisfied with a family of four.”
thank you for sticking with their little family !!
let's guess how mad Taeyong is going to be once he finds out they're keeping this pregnancy a secret from him? 🤔🤔🤔
genre: strangers to lovers!au/fuck buddies!au, angst, smut (a lot of it), a little bit of fluff, diplomat!Jaehyun
general warnings: y/n diary entries integrated into story, a whole lot of longing and yearning, unrequited love, slow burn jealousy, tension, misunderstanding, mentions of past traumas (death of family members, nothing graphic), unprotected sex (pulling out), oral (f/m receiving), multiple orgasms, mature language, slight dom dynamics from both y/n and Jaehyun, minor spanking, group sex, double penetration
status: ongoing
words: 42k
taglist: open
Your life has never been like this. You've never lived waiting for a call, never counted down days to see a man again, never felt like your mood depended on his absence. Your diary has never seen so many words written about someone who made you feel this way.
But that was before; now you were tangled up in this situationship with a man you knew nothing about. Correction, you know he's working at an embassy.
Each encounter leaves you wanting more, every peek of him sets you on fire and you know it can't be love, it must be the mystery of him that makes you on edge, but yet you're still falling deeper in it each time.
genre: strangers to lovers!au/fuck buddies!au, diplomat!Jaehyun, foreigner! Jaehyun angst, a little bit of fluff,
warnings: emotional abuse (Jaehyun plays with reader's feelings and past trauma), a lot of yearning, tension, mature language, alcohol consuming, smoking, heartbreak, mentions of sexual interactions
words: 11k
Masterpost
You laid with your head on Momo's pillow covered by a blanket, disgusted to lay on the sheets that were witness to everything you two did after you took a shower. You could hear her run up the stairs and she excitedly jumped onto the bed like she didn't just do what she did.
“You’re not tired?” You cackled.
“I am, but I feel like I was reborn.” She snickered, rubbing her face against the pillow. “All good?” She looked at your almost dead body on her bed. “How did it go for you? I heard you moan and saw you panting into that weirdo’s mouth. You looked hot fucking him.” You licked your mouth, swallowing a chuckle.
“It was… okay. Though Mingyu was going too roughly at the end. My ass is on fire. How did you even-.” You trailed off shyly.
“I took pain killers. Numbing lube, did he not use it?”
“I don’t know, I didn’t see what he used. He did use some, but I was on my stomach facing J-, that weirdo.”
“Do you know him? It looked like he knew you. Jaehyun, I mean.”
“I-, well. He was with us on that trip. I think we’ve talked before.” You shrugged to not get investigated.
“You must’ve stroked his fancy.” Momo still teased, pushing your shoulder with her finger.
“I don’t know. He’s weird and he made me uncomfortable.”
“With the car ride? How did that even go. What did he want?”
“I don’t know. He didn’t even say anything.”
“Maybe he gets turned on by watching people suffer and cry? There’s this kink, I can’t think of the name-.”
“Mo, I don’t care.” You stroked her arm. “You’re satisfied? No regrets?”
“No regrets. I loved it, babes. And Yuta can do it with whoever he likes. I don’t care. I did it with someone else too.”
“How would he know?”
“Oh, he will.” She chuckled reaching out for her phone on the bedside table. She leaned in closer to you and you watched her fingers move around the screen, opening the chat with the man who still had a black heart next to his name. There was an audio message sent to him about an hour go. She pressed play and you were listening to a whole choir of moans, groans and slaps. Your eyes widened, palm slapping over your mouth to contain your shock.
She'd almost pressed pause, but her eyes pierced to yours. When she went quiet for a moment on that recording, your moans became more distinctive. You could hear you panting Jae softly with every thrust he made, and could hear him respond with yes, baby back at you every time. You felt goosebumps all over your skin, hugging your body to stop shivering. You couldn't remember him calling you baby; it would've felt so good to hear it at the moment.
Fucking hell. You must’ve lost your mind, you couldn’t remember saying this or hearing him call you baby. But it was you. You were sure.
Momo’s gaze softened. “Fuuuck, he must’ve been really good at it? I wish I felt that.” What a relief, she didn’t find it weird. Phew. Right? It was nothing, wasn’t it?
“You did, I saw him do it with you.” You said sourly.
“Yes, with two other people. I have no clue who was who.” She locked the phone and threw it to the side. “And I don’t care to know. Female empowerment. Men always use us as a hole for pleasure. It’s my turn to use them as a faceless stick to fill up the hole, huh.” You chuckled at the ridiculousness of her metaphor. “I mean it. John asked for my phone number, I said I don’t like him like that.” She looked over at you. “Did you?”
You broke down in a fit of laughter. Jaehyun had your phone number but barely had a wish to use it. “Why would he even ask?”
“Mingyu acted like he was in love with you.”
“Yeah, and then left me undressed on top of your kitchen counter to be sucked by you.”
“I’m sorry, babes. John said my mouth looked bored and then-.”
“It doesn’t matter. I didn’t like him like that.” You reassured your best friend and hugged yourself on her bed.
“Are you sure? You two seemed connected, to a certain point.”
“A security guard won’t be even approved by my uncle. Too dangerous of a job, obviously.” You let an eye roll pass your face expression, looking at your best friend once more, curious.
“What?”she giggled, combing her hair with her hair brush. “You want to ask me more about the intercourse?”
“No! I-, I don’t,” you shook her off. “I mean, weren’t they rubbing against each other for the most part,” you giggled into your palm.
“I actually think they were,” Momo leaned in to you in a fit of laughter. “Maybe that’s what got them off. I mean, two of them were pushing inside of me, but I think the third one barely reached. He either got off at the image or at other boys,” she sneered into her arm. “Either way good for him, huh.”
“I honestly never thought we’d have sex in one room at the same time ever in our lives,” your head shook. It was indeed, a crazy realisation to you.
“Good think you’re friends with me, then,” she reached for your thigh all of a sudden and began to rub it. You looked at her confused. “We could even do it just by ourselves, in case you never imagined it also,” she’d grabbed onto your thigh and fell back onto her back laughing.
“No, I’m honestly so tired, I just want to sleep,” she sighed and curled on her side of the bed, dozing off almost immediately.
-
You’ve taken a break from work, letting your eyes run through the past two weeks of notes in your diary.
August 29th
I can’t even write down what happened to me, if anything ever happens to me and this diary is found - I don’t want people to know about things I did when I lived. If my grandkids find my diary and read what they grandma did on a random Thursday with her best friend M - I’d die once more of embarrassment. I should probably add this for the sake of anyone who ever reads this beside me - it wasn’t any sort of crime. It was just, well. I’d call it another proof that men are the most difficult species to understand. No exaggeration.
August 30th
I obviously couldn’t even sleep, been thinking about J once again. I guess it’s obvious whatever happened is related to him. He hurt me so much, this I can write. This won’t make me feel too embarrassed if found.
He forced me into a car when he wasn’t fully sober and drove me to M’s. I was on the verge of death, for sure, and then he’d tried to touch me right after. I told him how I truly felt, because in the moment I truly hated him. He’d pushed me away. He’d slept with M. He slept with her, and then went back to me and we had sex too. Because he tricked my mind, because I felt like he still chose me over her, because he looked me in the eyes and the pain I felt before vanished. I am so down bad for him I don’t know if I could ever willingly leave him.
Is that what love supposed to feel like? I don’t know if I love him. Do I? I’ve been constantly trying to find the answer. But love can’t be pain, I can’t take more pain than this. Everything and everyone I love hurt me at the end of the day.
And J just hurts me all day long.
And somehow, still, I want him just as much as I did before all of this mess.
You paused reading to pick up your phone. You were surprised when you heard Jaehyun’s voice on the other side of the line. He’d sighed and then proceeded with setting the time and date for your meeting without even a simple greeting. You had your mouth open and close with confusion.
Still, you’d put your phone away and focused back on your writing. It was an insanely productive day, or to be fair weeks; since you started seeing Jaehyun it’d been way easier for you to sit down and try typing anything into your drafts. It was clearly, a coincidence, he could not affect your life, your inspiration or anything else at all with his mere presence in it. He probably was by your side for less than forty eight hours total, if you’d count all your encounters.
Regardless, you were sitting down and you were writing down page after page, typing with your fingertips against the keyboard.
The bell on your door ringing is what caught you by surprise, making your eyes drift to the time in the top right corner of your laptop. It was exactly 6 PM - the time he’d set to see you and you forgot about it completely. You let it slip your mind for the first time, prioritising writing, your main occupation. You let an exasperated sigh out like you didn’t really want to see him and stood up, putting out the cigarette in your brand new ashtray. You’d never greeted him unprepared and unpolished, it felt so weird. Would he notice anything? Did he even care before about it all?
Your new hobby really made most of your stress go away, it seemed.
You leisurely walked down the hall to your door, opening it slowly.
It was such bullshit, your new hobby didn’t do a single thing. Life drained from your body as soon as you saw him, getting nervous, getting sick, worried. Was he going to ask you why you didn’t put nice clothes on, brushed your hair?
Jaehyun looked straight into your eyes, helping with his palm to open the door wider. You tried to read his face properly - will say a thing or quickly get to the deed? You had no idea what intentions he had or how much time he had on him to entertain you, or better - let you entertain him.
He held your face in his palm, turning your head upward to give you a kiss, before he could even walk in. He’d took an actual step inside your apartment and as it felt like he’s going to lean in, he’d paused. Full on froze and moved his gaze down the corridor.
“What is that smell?” Jaehyun leaned in to you and moved his head along your form with a few sniffs. “Did you have someone else around?”
“Did I? Why?” You haven’t caught onto the implication yet.
“The cigarette smell. You’re not a smoker,” he’d furrowed his brow and it must’ve really set his nerves on edge he’d taken the very same step out of your property. “Is he still here?” Why did he even assume it was a man?
If you were silly and naive, or if you were in the mood to admit to him that he still affected you very much, sober or drunk, you would’ve given him a satisfied grin and fluttered your eyelashes at him while asking if he was asking because he was jealous. It would’ve been that way if he’d showed up at your doorstep five days ago, at least. But it’s been fourteen long, excruciating, agonising days since you last saw him.
Since the day he'd made you choke from a panic attack and then held you so tightly and called you baby while fucking into you. You went through so much, it was hard to even start describing how your home felt like prison; you felt like you needed to be admitted to an asylum. All because this crazy man - he hurt you and then he fucked you, and kissed you and in his own stupid way tried to care for you. He cared for you, right? He did. Even if he was all this, he’d still shown signs of caring. And then evaporated like you never even existed. At one point you even considered asking Momo to send you the audio, to relieve the moment when he loved you through it.
You were beyond rage, disappointment, wishing to pick a fight. You bought a pack of cigarettes a week ago and the lightheadedness you felt after smoking the first one did everything you needed. Quickly getting used to smoking a cigarette once the image of him popped in your head. It also made you realise that the more you smoked, the less the effect was there, but you still had to do it to feel at least a tiny bit of that lightness.
You really seemed to have an addictive personality; first Jaehyun, now cigarettes.
“I am the smoker. Does that turn you off?” You folded your arms over your chest.
“You are?” He’d frowned even deeper and walked inside, making you step out of the way. You locked the door, and by the time you turned around he put his umbrella by the entrance. He really was feeling himself at home here now, wow. “Since when?” Since you came into my life.
“Are we here to fuck or talk about my habits?” He looked at you, teeth chewing on the inner side of his cheek. “Do you even care?”
“Lung cancer is a very real thing,” he stepped in closer and let his fingers spread over the column of your neck. “Quit it.”
“Do you even care?” You frowned right back at him, repeating; if he thought he could boss you around you really hoped he’d think again.
“I missed looking into your stubborn eyes,” he leaned in a little closer and despite your wish to jerk your head away he’d caged you, making the grip over your neck tighter.
“Why would you disappear for a month, then?”
"It's been just two weeks," he quickly corrected you. So he knows. He'd been counting.
You raised your arm up to hold onto his wrist, which was a very real threat for air reaching your lungs if he wished to do so.
"Really? I wouldn't know," you shook your head nonchalantly. "I was busy."
Jaehyun leaned more in, and you suddenly became hyperaware of his proximity, of the way his eyes trained yours. How he’d stared and expected anything from you in return. You had so many biting remarks regarding his absence, so many words that would only prove to him further that he’s needed. That he’s missed. He wasn’t going to get it. You leaned in closer, standing on your tippy toes to be right in front of him. He’d pulled you in more by your neck, and you blinked multiple times at him.
It suddenly dawned on you how you must’ve reeked of cigarettes after spending an entire week just smoking and writing.
He closed the gap between your mouths and right before he kissed you you managed to dodge the kiss, making his lips land on your cheek. Jaehyun’s fingers gripped tighter over your neck, but they were nowhere near depriving you of air. He dragged his mouth alongside your cheek, taking long breaths in along the way until he reached your ear, taking a breath in of your hair.
“Go take a shower, I hate the smell of cigarettes in your hair,” he whispered into your ear and the way this shattered the entirety of your self-confidence, you pulled back as far as you could given he was gripping onto your neck and grabbed his hand to pull it away.
“The door is open, if you don’t like it.”
“I’ll be fine as soon as you wash your hair.”
You looked at him. Giving in, obeying, meant he held some sort of power over you and it was impossible for you to even imagine letting him know it was true. He already knew too much, he already saw you be into him more than it was appropriate. He blinked and you blinked, nothing else. That was until he’d let go of your neck and grabbed onto your hips lifting you off the floor and onto his shoulder. You wheezed at first because stupidly enough you thought he was trying to hurt you.
When he’d moved his feet and you realised he was just walking, you’d stopped the screaming and tried to get yourself out of his hold, only to end up with his arm gripping your waist like you were a disobedient child; which you probably were acting like right now.
“Put me down!” You let out in a weak attempt to fight him. It was too obvious where he was making his way, you didn’t agree to it. “Jaehyun!” You screamed and stilled, it was so weird calling out his name. Have you even called his name, at least once? He must’ve sensed you went uncharacteristically quiet up there and stopped before the door that led to your bedroom and let your feet meet the floor.
He spared no time looking at you this time and just kissed you, pressing his lips against yours. His palms found your waist, squeezing the skin between his fingers and pressing you against the wall. He moved his head up and looked into your eyes, taking a hitched breath in. He didn’t care about the cigarette taste on your tongue? You couldn’t read the face expression.
“You have another bathroom with a bathtub here, right?” You let a furrowed brow pass your features. “There’s at least three more rooms you don’t seem to be using, I’m sure this huge apartment has a tub,” his fingers trailed your cheek, hooking them under your ear afterwards and continuing massaging your skin with his thumb.
“Why?”
“Show me the way,” Jaehyun licked into your mouth not letting you pry an answer out of him.
You pushed him by the shoulder and in the next few steps you ended up before an almost empty bedroom and he’d moved fully back to see his surroundings properly. You had to drag him behind you into the bathroom, not giving him time to talk and shoved him into the room.
He let a little impressed whistle out not even making you surprised by the reaction. It was much of a step up in comparison to your shower only bathroom. This room had a whole freestanding bathtub with a painting above it on the wall about the same length as the tub.
Jaehyun spent maybe thirty seconds ogling the room and then reached for his jacket, taking it off and letting it rest on the cabinet’s handle, undoing top buttons of his dress shirt. He walked past you and got in front of the tub, turning the tap to let the water fill it in.
“Why are you always making me do something I don’t want to?” You hissed much more accepting than you intended to.
“It seems like I know better,” he looked from behind his shoulder into your eyes.
“It doesn’t and you don’t.” You crossed your arm over your chest.
“Okay,” he’d agreed so easily, getting back to his full height and taking the rest of his clothes off.
“What are you doing?” You watched him pull his boxers down the legs and felt a little pang of heat in your chest. “What, you don’t have water at your place?”
Jaehyun actually ignored you, getting himself inside the tub and you’d even took a small step closer to it while he was with his back to you to see how much it filled by now. Not enough to not be absolute freezing as you sit there. That you knew for sure.
“I don’t have you at home.” He’d glanced and let his head rest on the tub, letting a sigh out and closed his eyes.
Good thing, because the disbelief and shock projected on your face right after those words left his mouth are not supposed to be seen by anybody. God forbid him.
That’s easy to change.
We could do this at your place too.
Isn’t that the choice you made?
You want to?
God, there were so many options to reply and neither sounded like a good one. You just looked at him confused, trying to make your heart calm down. Not imagine too much how it could’ve been if he was someone normal, someone capable of love, relationships, understanding, caring. God. Be someone you could lean on.
You could’ve been taking these baths every day after a long day of work, sharing how your day went.
“Why aren’t you undressing?” He suddenly opened his eyes and pierced them through you. “Come here.” He sat making a little wave with the water and reached his still dry palm to you, you’d feigned such resistance and repulsion towards him and still managed to take the tiniest step forward so his palm would cup your hip perfectly. With that little motion he was able to reach for you properly and fully force you next to the tub.
Jaehyun skilfully undid the bow on your homeware baby pink shorts and pulled the shirt up your stomach for you to take the hint and take it off yourself because he couldn’t reach the top of your head while sitting. You had no intention to help him. You really didn’t want to do things his way.
Somehow your arms still reached for the hem of the shirt he gave you and pulled it all the way up, until you were left topless before him.
Jaehyun pulled your shorts together with your panties down and instead of pulling you to sit in the tub with him, leaned over to your stomach and gave its lower part a few warm licks. Your insides tightened in a knot within the very next second; his tongue has never been this close to your naked pussy before, or has it? This heavy breathing on your skin felt like the first time in your life, even.
He’d let his tongue drag out against your skin and then he’d wrapped an arm around your leg and pulled your core to give it a kiss, making your whole body feel electrocuted. You had to grab onto his head to not lose balance and smash your head against the tile floor.
He looked up at you from down under with a little mocking smile as he realised you were watching him kiss you.
“Still no wish to get in here?”
“No,” you grumbled and let your foot up to get it in the tub. Jaehyun pulled back and watched you get fully inside with a little winning smile over his face.
You stepped in and thought of pressing your back into the opposite side of the tub, so you’d face him, but as soon as both your feet were in the water, Jaehyun’s arms made you not so elegantly fall on top of him, making the water splash around. He’d sneaked an arm over your waist to pull you up his body and made it times harder to keep that sickening image of him wanting you for more than sex out of your head.
“Relax.” He whispered above your ear; you felt him shift behind you, probably letting his head rest once more. He clearly had no idea he wasn’t helping, you felt even more tensed up than before. Jaehyun’s fingers trailed over your collarbone by taking small steps like they were legs of a tiny human and let his whole palm rest against the column of your neck once more. He pusheed your head onto his chest; not even needing to put much strength into that, you were ready to obey, just needed reassurance he truly wanted it. Wanted you falling deeper into him.
You let a loud sigh out, trying to take steadier breaths, closing your eyes to focus your mind on Jaehyun’s presence under you.
On his steady, calming breaths, the way the air out of his lungs distantly tickled your ear; the way his fingers laid flat over your stomach, his other hand returned to your collarbone and his pointer finger was mindlessly drawing lines back and forth over your skin.
“Momo-,” you let out, but then felt like you were the stupidest person on earth for talking. For bringing her up of all people. That night recirculated before your eyes, the whole-consuming jealousy because he was kissing someone else, fear, anxiety when he forced you in a car with him, plain pain when he’d picked her over you. When he’d left you to someone else when he said he wanted you. You should’ve never brought your best friend’s name up, never bring that night up.
It was the worst memory in your book; it was also sweet, when you thought about his lips and his fingers gripping your body like he feared you’d disappear. Him calling you baby, even though you couldn’t remember, there was real proof of that. Did he do it before and you also blacked it out? Did he remember you called him Jae like you two meant to each other something?
“What?” He’d raised his head to speak directly into your ear. Your body shivered from the vibration of his voice. Was he curious about her …? Or generally curious about anything you had to say?
“It’s nothing.” You shook your head and went back to quiet.
“You don’t want to think about that night?” It was hard to figure out whether it was mock that soaked the tone of his voice. “I understand it.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” Did he mean you were jealous and that was understood? You were ready to throw hands.
“I purposely hurt you.”
“Oh, you acknowledge that you were being a jerk when you forced me into that car!”
“I wasn’t referring to that only.” So he knew him sleeping with Momo hurt you. It made no difference, because it hurt you still. Maybe even more, since he admitted it was purposeful. “I acknowledge I hurt you in more than one way that night.”
“Why?” You let out a reserved question.
“Trauma creates attachment.” It was so weird hearing these words come out of his mouth in such a casual manner, feel your skin press into his and have no fucking idea what his eyes looked like. Was he sorry? Did he feel remorse? Was he smirking, smiling? Was that a funny thing to talk about? What did he even mean by this?
“What?” You breathed out through your nose, scandalised. “There’s about one hundred normal ways to make someone attached to you, if you have such intentions.” You let out, angry. He surely knew there was no point in that either way, you were already enough into him to call that an attachment.
“I’ve only ever known non-normal ones.” He sighed and the fingers that laid heavy on your stomach came to life and you shivered; and hated his touch.
“Let me go, I want to get up.” You found his palms over your skin and tried to move them away, he now put strength into his muscles, gluing you closer to his body.
“We should stay here for a little longer.” You felt his cheek press into the back of your head and felt like you’d rather die than spend a second longer under his embrace.
“I’m not going to sob over your sad story. If you want to throw a pity party you know I’ll win.”
“I didn’t ask you to. I didn’t even say I want to share a thing.” He let a specifically warm puff of air out than burned your skin. “Your hair still smell like cigarettes.”
“Let me go.” You barked and he probably was so appalled with the sound that left your mouth that he’d moved his hands away.
You moved away from him, but instead of getting up and leaving, you moved yourself to the other side of the tub and sat down facing him. Jaehyun reached out to close the facet and stop the water from overfilling the tub.
“What do you want from me?” You furrowed your brow, crossing arms over your chest, not liking the way his eyes ran down to ogle over your boobs when you were trying to corner him into saying you a thing or two that was meant to mean something.
“What?” He smirked in the most blood boiling way. Like you’d called for him, put him in this bathtub and then suddenly asked him what he even did here.
“You came here and talked shit about me, forced me into this bathtub with you, and now what - what is your plan? What are these things you’re saying? Why are you doing these things? Why do you keep coming back? You don’t want me like that and still come back every time. Please, I’m not your toy. Leave me alone. You’re only hurting me. All of the time.” You ran your fingers through your forehead and realised your frown was deeper than you’ve expected. You tried to convey that emotion also, keep only confusion and complete perplexity with his intentions at this point. Not when he just said between the lines something about wanting you to be attached to him. What for?
“I didn’t talk shit, lung cancer is a very real thing-.” He’d picked the wrong road and you were not in the mood to listen to his stupid stuff.
“Get up and leave.”
“Okay.” He’d raised his palms up, defeated. Okay? He agreed to leave without a single word against it? That hurt you even more.
“Thanks.” You folded your legs, keeping the pain inside, pressing forehead into your knees with a sigh.
It really is the very last time you saw him like this, and there was about ten minutes left in your inner system that was convinced that this was the right decision. Ten more minutes and you’ll bawl your eyes out.
He needed to get the hell out of here i-m-m-e-d-i-a-t-e-l-y.
“No, not that okay. I’m not leaving.” Your head snapped back up. “I was talking shit, I agreed.” You let an eye roll pass your lids. “Can I ask for a little bit of time? And understanding?”
“What for?”
“I-,” he let a sigh out and your body tensed up. What was it? “I don’t take you as my toy.” His eyes paced over the room instead of focusing on you, the person he was trying to apologise? Come clean to? “And hurting you was never my intention, I’m sorry.” You were so taken aback. You blinked for a good minute confused, staring into his eyes that he finally managed to focus on you and couldn’t believe what he was saying. What you were hearing.
Was this just another bullshit coming out of his mouth? You needed a pen and your notebook immediately to write down all the feelings that bubbled within you.
“You’re not being sincere. I don’t trust you.”
“I know, this is very deserved by me after all of this.”
“Your words are empty air until you do something about it.”
“I will, just give me time? I won’t break your trust any more.”
“You fucked my best friend,” you let out, heartbroken at a single thought.
“You chose someone else when I tried to pick you,” he defended like he didn’t know if he truly sincerely wanted only you you would’ve not been able to get rid of him. No matter how hard you would’ve fronted.
“You wanted to fuck her! That time you came to my place, when I thought you were leaving, you fucked her too! Didn’t you?” You regretted the question. You knew you were right, they would’ve never skipped the chance to do it. They were young, hot, drunk and left alone. It’s the fact after he did her he ran back to you that made no sense to you. You could only figure out he liked to be weird.
“Why don’t you ask her?” Jaehyun raised a challenging brow. There was no challenge. This was stupid.
“I don’t want to know everything you do. At least now I’m doubting you’re married. Or you’re a serial cheater, and that’s even fucking worse.”
“You said you wanted more of me.”
“That was a mistake. You put me in a situation where I felt like I could die, when I told you I can’t just get in a car with anyone and payed me no attention. I was scared; I was hurting.” You blinked at him, but Jaehyun’s eyes were set somewhere else. You were in pain, you were suffering through the whole night you were around him starting with the moment he let some random chicks shove their tongues down his throat. All he was doing only brought you pain. No matter how badly you’ve wanted him all this time, this whole thing clearly had barely a chance to stand in a real world.
“You really want me to go, then?” No, no. I need you to say that you were wrong. Say it. Just tell me you are sorry for everything you did. Ask me to start it all over again? I will do that for you. I’ll erase every painful memory because I really want to be in this with you.
Why was he taking the wrong meaning out of your words?
“Yes.”
“Okay, I won’t wait around to be asked to leave a third time.” Jaehyun shook his head and actually stood up; you dipped your head and hid your face in your hands, not ready to watch him leave.
Your heart beat in your chest. Your head pumped with your boiling blood, but it was the best decision, you couldn’t continue with this torture, give him time, fall into his promises. Not after him acknowledging what he did to you.
You heard him shuffle with his clothes and he left you absolutely appalled as he kissed the top of your head before leaving.
You weren’t able to keep in your feelings until he left your apartment, you broke down as soon as he left the room. Wailing not even five minutes later.
All of this was so fucking stupid. He didn’t deserve all these feelings you had for him. All that inner turmoil wasn’t supposed to be dedicated to him.
Still, it was hard to comprehend how much time you spent in that bath after he left. Enough for your skin to start to itch. You got out and threw a shirt over your body, pacing through the apartment to get to your new best friend.
“Sweet Jesus, are my eyes deceiving me? What is it I’m seeing in your hands, babe?” Momo plopped on the bench next to you and let her lips against your cheek for a second.
“Don’t make a big deal out of it,” you shook your head a little uncomfortable at the attention, the plan was to finish this one off before she arrives.
“Your uncle have warned me to not turn you into a bad girl and wow, one night stands, threesomes,” you shooshed her mortified, checking nearing tables to see if anyone heard that. “Cigarettes too, what did I do to my sweet childhood best friend.” She cooed and batted her eyelashes.
“Mo, please. I’ve not been that for at least a decade.” This has nothing to do with you anyway.
“You’ve been that just four months ago.” She waved you off and opened her mouth probably to pry some things out of you, but you’d managed to safe yourself by asking the waiter to bring you menus.
Momo needed less than a minute to make a decision and she ordered right on the spot, making you grab the usual shrimp salad to not take too much time with picking.
“What happened? You don’t just do random things like that. Was that whole experience… traumatising?”
“No, it wasn’t. It’s not even about that.” You pressed the tips of your fingers between your brows to not lose your temper.
“What does uncle G think of this?” She chuckled and pulled her vape out of the pocket, breathing in and puffing a giant cloud of air out her nose.
“He doesn’t have to know everything.” You rolled your eyes and all of a sudden reflected on all of your recent lies and hidings. It was all connected to that same person, someone who still made your heart beat, chest hurt, head spin.
You were in desperate need of nicotine once more and you clutched onto your phone to hold yourself back from that action.
You were trying to cut yourself down on this ridiculous addiction. He wasn’t worth the time of your day. Risking your own health because of someone you barely knew? Lung cancer is a very real thing.
And no, that’s not a quote. Your fingers really itched, especially as Momo puffed another cloud of smoke out of her vape.
“You know what?” Momo moved your attention from the itching wish, “Yuta said I made all this up. Said I generated the audio to make him mad.”
“No way-.” Was this an appropriate moment to ask her to send it to you?
“Yes, he said he knows what I get like when I’m jealous. He thought I was shitting him to get his attention.”
“Past tense? He doesn’t think so anymore?” You let your finger run up and down your forehead to calm yourself down. You were asking questions but in your head everything led to Jaehyun.
“No he doesn’t-,” she let a sigh out and you knew she was nowhere near the end of that sentence.
She looked you dead in the eyes and you raised your eyebrows at her. You knew exactly what it meant.
The very next moment Momo let her left hand on the table palm down and gave you the confirmation of the assumption. Her old rock was heaving down her finger.
Ugh, this was tiring.
You managed to connect this wish to him also.
“If you two end up get married, please do it before I turn fifty. I would like to be a hot bridesmaid in her prime.” You managed a chuckle out.
“I know, I know. You hope to find a husband for yourself at my wedding, but I told you times before. I could get you with any of Yuta’s friends if you like any of them.”
“And get myself into something similar to your situation?” You teased. You couldn’t handle going through your life by torturing each other. Hurting your loved one just for the fun of it. You can’t be possibly living like this. “I want a husband that has nothing to do with your future husband; and also possibly someone sweet and caring. I can’t do this thing you two do.”
“Fair point,” she shrugged and then the waiter put your plates before you and you went into the quiet dining. “Am I going to see you at the Respect for the Aged Day?”
“What is that?” Both your brows raised up.
“Japanese embassy holds the event for the first time in ten years. At day time they’re inviting every Japanese immigrant above 70 years old. For dinner time they’re inviting everyone of a different class.” The raise of her brow let you know she meant politicians and people of that sort.
“I can’t stop wondering how you’re invited to everything that’s going on there.” You chuckled with a little bit of disbelief plastered on your face.
“Ugh, excuse me?” She raised her finger up. “I’m the daughter of an honorary Japanese native who worked at the embassy for fifty years. My grandchildren will be still thriving from that connection.” She leaned in to her plate and took the spoon in her hands. “And the fact that Yuta’s father was the Ambassador and they just stayed in the country after his mission was over.” She let a little shrug out and it was hard to not laugh. You threw your hand playfully at her and went back to her initial question.
“I don’t think so, no one invited me.”
“I’m sure uncle G’s on the list with a plus one. Unless,” she played with her brows. “He finally found someone he could invite!”
“I wish!” You shook your head, knowing damn well he did not.
“Sweetheart, are you still in bed?” You heard a brush of fingers against the wooden door of your room in your sleep and immediately sat up, not even understanding what was happening.
“Give me a second.” You cleared your throat and fell back into the pillows after a weak okay slipped through the door.
You threw a hoodie onto your pjs and walked out into the living room, rubbing your eyes. What time it was? Did something happen?
“Hi, is everything okay?” You reached out for a short hug and looked back concerned at your uncle. It was a very rare occasion for him to show up at your place uninvited. He usually called, or texted. It’s been a few years since he found the need to check on you at random times to make sure you were still breathing.
“Yes, I just thought I haven’t seen you besides events in a very long while. It’s a beautiful Sunday morning and I ended up walking in the direction of your house.” He smiled and you gifted him a smile back, rubbing his arm.
“Want a tea?”
“Yes, please.” He nodded and sat down on the couch. “Did you have Momo stay over?” He ran his eyes over the room and scrunched his nose up.
“Why?” You asked confused.
“The cigarette smell, I remember she used to smoke.”
“Oh,” you chuckled. “Yes, right, she was over here last night, I guess the scent of smoking still lingers.”
“It’ll help to get rid of it by throwing away buds.” He gestured at the ashtray.
“Right.” You smiled and paced to the coffee table to throw them away.
It was really a relief the only crime he was able to witness was the cigarettes. He could’ve caught Jaehyun in your room. On those rear occasions he stayed in your bed after fucking; it maybe wasn’t more than once or twice, but the memory was in your head forever.
Jaehyun. Your body physically itched for another cigarette. It’s been so fucking long, and you knew it was over and shit, you were still going down that spiral again.
“Do you think you could join me for dinner tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow?” Tomorrow was that thing Momo invited you to. “Agh, I actually can’t. Momo invited me as her plus one to some elderly respect day-event tomorrow.” You looked at your uncle. “I’m surprised you weren’t invited.”
“Really? I actually am, I didn’t even bother to invite you. I thought you would say it’s boring and for old people.”
“Well, Momo is going and I thought I should too.”
“Then I guess we are having dinner together.” He smiled, satisfied. “When is she planning to have the wedding?”
“Oh,” you shook your head. “You better ask her that question tomorrow yourself.” You put the cookies in a plate before your uncle, getting cups and tea bags.
“Remind me again, why do I always trust what you’re saying despite always ending up in situations like this?” You hissed at Momo, wiping your chest with towels from the sticky champagne that a lovely lady no younger than a 100 years old soaked you in by knocking your elbow with her hand, ending up all sticky and queuing up to the bathroom with a bunch of people same age as her. “You said it was supposed to be a fun event in the evening and somehow everyone in here is about four times our age!”
It’s really been a while since you queued into a bathroom at an event like that. Old people bladders were making you dry the champagne on your chest.
“I messed up the time a bit!” Momo cried out exasperated, clearly as confused with the whole set up as you were. “There’s a concert in ten minutes and after the concert the dinner and after-party for the VIPs, I’m serious.”
“The concert?” You blinked at Momo in disbelief. “Folklore?” You let out the biggest accepting sigh of your existence. You really wanted to choke her.
“I’m sorry! I owe you, big one. We’re in row three and we have to be there in time, they’re very strict with late comers.” She pulled her phone out of the clutch and blinked her long lashes at the screen and then at you, even more remorseful than before.
“No, no, no. I’m not leaving before I get to the water. I’m sticky all the way down to my waist.”
“Babes-,” Momo paused, and everyone perked their ears up as an announcement was made over the speakers. First in Japanese, then in a language you could understand. Last call. Fabulous. “Please, I’m sorry and thank you.” A couple of grandma’s took off from the line upon hearing the announcement and you got closer to the door in hopes of getting in, but then you both heard a distant sound of guitar and before you could react you were dragged down the hall.
To give a point to Momo, you were crawling through the people in pure darkness, they were seconds from starting and getting to your seats a minute later would’ve been even more awkward. You trailed behind your best friend, also very thankful she was working out rows, seats and saving you the difficulty.
“These are our seats,” Momo gestured with her finger to two empty seats down the line and quickly made her way down the row. You followed behind, slouching as the MC walked out on the stage and the people applauded, partially trying to get up for ovations. You tried to see the stage and figure out if that was someone famous over there.
You’d ended up before your seat just in time as the lights got a bit brighter to focus all of the attention on the stage and the officials that were going to make the opening speech. You almost tripped over your neighbours leg as you plopped down and turned around to excuse yourself.
“Oh,” your eyes quite literally bugged out upon registering who your neighbour was. You’d furrowed a brow as soon as he acknowledged you were looking at him; and that it was you, and turned away. You quickly turned around to Momo, to see what sort of sick matching up she was making by making you sit right next to your offender.
What the fuck?
The girl clapped her hands and looked at you suddenly excited, almost making it too suspicious for your surprised mind. Did she or did she not do this?
The first act came up on stage and the lights dimmed back down and only then did you become hyperaware of your neighbour.
Jaehyun sat down with his knees a little spread, arms folded over his crotch, back so straight it’s like he was in a competition for the most right posture in the world. One more glance over at him and you became hyperaware of your slouch and straightened your back to match him.
You glanced over at him once more and wondered if he really was so soaked into what was going on on the stage he couldn’t notice you obviously checking him out. Now it was almost a question of pride, to look at him and make him look back. How quickly would he give in?
You got startled by an excited sigh Momo let out and moved your entire attention onto her. “Still sure it was a mess up with the timing?”
“Why would I not enjoy it if I’m here!” She chuckled and clapped her hands as the second act walked up on the stage. It was a lovely lady in traditional clothing preparing to play an instrument you had no idea the name of.
Good reminder you weren’t part of the culture. You let a sigh out and dropped your back against the chair, tangling your legs in a knot to kill the wish to touch Jaehyun’s leg with yours.
It seemed like it was a destiny, though, to touch him in one way or the other, because as you worked hard to tangle up your legs the purse that was placed over your thighs slid down to one side, Jaehyun’s side of course, and you really tried hard to catch it, but the purse slipped and despite your expectations Jaehyun turned on his Spider-Man senses and caught the bag for your mid way to the floor.
You tried to catch up with him and instead of doing so quickly and turning away like nothing happened, you smashed your forehead into the side of his head and if your forehead must’ve just hurt his ear, your skull felt like it hit a rock, no less, and split into two pieces.
“Shit, are you okay?”Jaehyun grabbed onto your face like he was allowed to do that, pulling you in closer and touched your forehead, cheeks, nape, everything. In the midst of a fucking concert, mind you. “Talk to me.” he pressed his mouth against your ear, probably for you to hear him better amidst the singing that was happening three rows before you, but it was such a shocker. The feeling of his fingers, the softness of the touch, his lips on your ear. The whisper of your name as you ignored his questions.
It was the touch of Momo’s fingers on your elbow, the very confused “What happened?” That got you out of those feelings in a second and you hit Jaehyun on the forearms to let you go and threw an excuse at Momo and got up to run away from Jaehyun, from those thoughts, from his touch. You heard him get up behind you and felt like you will die once you get one on one with him.
Thankfully a man two seats to the right stopped him. He quite literally didn’t let him follow you. You heard the man say something about it not being a walking alley and telling him to wait twenty minutes for the ending. It was a relief, but it also was so fucking painful. How the universe played in your favour and then didn’t.
You reached for your shoulder to get the purse in your hands and realised it wasn’t there.
Fuck, it really wasn’t on you. When you smashed into Jaehyun he’d threw the purse he caught behind his back onto the seat to take your face in his hands. The way he so carefully caressed your cheek with his thumb. You were one step away from throwing up.
You couldn’t even leave, because all of your belongings were in his fucking hands. You couldn’t return either, because staying right next to him for another twenty minutes was beyond you.
You were sure a cigarette would’ve made the tremor in your hands go.
You walked to the entrance to have a look at the sun that was setting and calmed yourself down; you needed to spare about fifteen minutes and then you’d return for the ending and walk out with Momo who would not tolerate the intruder.
It was easier than expected, to find yourself busy for such a short period of time when your mind was a total mess. You tried hard to stop yourself and not think of Jaehyun, get back stoically and ignore him for the rest of the evening.
What the hell was he doing here anyway? Why was he so freely touching your face? The action was beyond trying to carefully make sure a stranger was okay. Was he feeling himself freer than usual? All after you were kind of done with each other. Agh, you were going insane.
You quickly got to your seat a couple of minutes before the ending and only as you were bothering people to walk down your seat you realised you had the perfect chance to wash up in the probably empty bathroom from champagne and blew it.
You sat down onto your seat and felt the material behind your back, taking the purse from behind you. Jaehyun did the right thing, he’d returned your belonging and left you alone, finally. That’s what you needed from him in the first place.
“Is everything okay?” Momo looked at your calmed down face. You were pretty sure you were all good, the hit wasn’t that bad on the second thought, it was Jaehyun’s rock hard skull, but somehow you didn’t feel like you were getting a bruise. You gave your best friend a nod and her eyes fell behind you. “I’m sorry about your neighbour, I had no idea he was going to be here.”
“It’s nothing. I couldn’t care less.” You brushed her off and before Momo could give you anything in reply turned your attention to the stage. The last act was wrapping up their dancing and the MC quickly ran up on stage once more to call on everybody on stage.
You felt Jaehyun lean into your side, or maybe you imagined it, but regardless, you’ve grabbed Momo’s arm and pulled her to exit in a different direction from Jaehyun as soon as it was appropriate.
“But at the end of the day, the concert was really fun. I felt like I went home for a bit.” Momo blinked dreamily.
“Home? I’m pretty sure you’ve been to Japan twice for a couple of days.” You mocked your best friend, who previously stated that here home was here. She honestly was so ready to jump from one opinion to the other; and you thought that lovingly.
“My ancestors are calling me right after I saw all of these people! My people!” She acted out a little skit of homesickness.
“I think your phone is what’s calling,” you laughed, hearing her ringtone through the crowd’s noise.
“Shoot!” Momo quickly picked up her phone and changed her voice one-eighty. “Baby, hi!” She shooshed you for the eye rolling and turned a little away, though you could still hear and see her conversation with the man. “You can’t find a what-?” She pushed the phone into her ear more. “Laptop?” She pressed a finger to one of her ears, still having issues with hearing her man. “No, I’m not sure. I mean, I don’t think so.” She made a funny face at you and you let a chuckle out. “Baby, I’m out at an event right now. I can’t check if your laptop is at my place.” She blinked faster than before, a well known sign of stress and the way her mouth dropped a little made you concerned. “Yuta, don’t talk to me like this!” She gasped offended and looked away from you. “No, I understand. I understand-, your work is important. It is, I’m sorry. I-, I guess I’ll be at my place in forty and could check.”
“No,” you overheard the words and took her forearm in your hold. “You’re not leaving.”
“Babes, i’m so sorry.” She sighed out as she put away the phone in her clutch. “Yuta’s having an important meeting tomorrow, I can’t do this to him.”
“Meeting on a Saturday?”
“I don’t know much, but he needs his laptop and I’m partially sure it is at my place. He waits for it before midnight… and well,”
“Momo Hirai this is the very last time I’m going anywhere with you!”
“But uncle G is supposed to be here, let’s find him.”she tried to butter you up, but it was honestly pointless. You send her off on her merry way and called the man right after.
It wasn’t hard to find him, he’d arrived like he was supposed to, for the dinner start and immediately managed to sneak a seat for you next to him, making someone else take a seat at the other table.
Finally, a warm company of your uncle, chatter of men and women that couldn’t bother less to pay you attention; they’ve learned their lesson years ago, they’ve been taking you as a stubborn teenager on her uncle’s side, you were happy to continue with the agenda. The food was good, the background music was good, your cocktail tasted like heavens, and there was no obstacle by the name of Jaehyun in your peripheral vision. The evening almost promised to be good.
The fourth cocktail really pushed down all the liquid in your bodily system to your bladder; you really tried to hold it in, but there was no point to deny it any longer; you needed to use the bathroom.
You'd gotten on your feet and found out the world was more wobbly than you've remembered. You took your purse with you in case a smoke brake was needed and quietly wobbled out of the dining area and into the corridor.
There were a lot of people around; chattering, taking pictures, laughing, smoking out on the terrace, clearly returning from the restroom break. The queue to the bathroom didn't shorten one bit; it probably was due to everyone drinking alcohol and really the lack of stalls at the embassy. You remembered the secret bathroom on the second floor Momo showed you as an honorary citizen. You had no idea how it was connected, but if it at least had fewer people queuing you'll take it.
The music was getting progressively quieter, the chatter was left behind and for a moment you wondered if the bathroom was indeed a secret. You began to walk a little slower to not make much noise and thus not create attention. You were tip-toeing almost when you realised the sounds that you were hearing didn't come from your feet; they weren’t coming from heeled shoes.
One of the security guys must've followed you here in case you were trying to somehow steal Japan's national secrets instead of peeing. You turned around on your heel with a smile in one swift motion and felt your head spin in a second. You crouched and grabbed onto your head quickly, "I'm just going to the bathroom, I'm not stealing anything." You whispered bent and thought of Jaehyun once more.
It was his fucking hard skull that made you so sick; did you get a concussion? Or were that the drinks?
"Hey, did you have too much to drink?" Jaehyun's arm wrapped your waist and in a second you were flushed against him.
"It's your fucking rock hard skull!" He dared to let a chuckle out. "Don't touch me, there could be people." The weakest attempt to get rid of him ended up with you wobbling and ending up in his arms once again. Okay, you'll accept this fate. "Or cameras!”
“You crossed the no trespassing door, I don’t see cameras either, so I can do things to my heart’s content.”
“No trespassing? Where? I didn’t see it.” You tried to look past him but couldn’t see a thing.
“I figured that out, that’s why I followed.” Jaehyun’s hand hooked behind your ear and pulled your face up. “Are you going to tell me to leave you once more?” He’d leaned in and challenged you with a stare.
“It depends on how shitty you’ll treat me after.”
“I promised you I won’t do that anymore.” Jaehyun leaned his face to yours a little and looked you in the eyes, making you in return lean against the wall behind you.
“But did you mean it?” You let a whisper out.
Jaehyun’s lips moved, but he didn’t make a sound. He’d licked them and leaned in to you, pressing a kiss to the corner of your lips. “Of course I did.” He made you lean against the wall fully and moved his hands from your waist, lips landing on the other side of your mouth.
“What is it you’re trying to do?” Your hand landed on Jaehyun’s shoulder to push him away, but instead it looked like you pulled him in closer to you.
“Just giving you a couple of kisses to stop you from frowning so much.” Jaehyun’s fingers landed on your cheek and he’d craned your head to get better access to the skin of your neck and let his lips pepper a bunch of kisses down the side of your neck.
“Did you drink?” You looked at him and closed your eyes, giving up on your eyes, it was so hard to keep them open.
“No, like a flute of champagne or something like that, I’m on duty. I represent the Embassy here.” Jaehyun rubbed your cheek to make you look at him and you obeyed, opening your eyes and dying at the proximity.
Why was he being so sweet? Or were you drunk to think he was being sweet?
“Does the embassy know the shit you’re doing on your free time?”
“We better hope they don’t know about you,” he chuckled against your collarbone. “Or do you want them to know?” He’d smiled a Cheshire Cat smile and pulled back a little.
“No; I’m not talking about me. I’m talking about SNNR, making out with strangers, doing sex with strangers, noncommittal sexual encounters, mentally abusing people? Do they know you’re being very naughty on the government money?” You pulled Jaehyun’s head back from licking into the base of your neck by his nape; taking a glance in his eyes even though he clearly found you amusing.
“All of that is not even considered a sin in the book of all of my colleagues, I’m a literal saint for them.” Jaehyun’s fingers moved to your chin and in no time his lips covered yours; then his arms gripped your waist and it was maybe ten seconds until you’ve forgotten absolutely everything you wanted to tell him.
You gripped onto his neck and panted into his mouth, until it moved lower and made a symmetrical wet trail on the other side of your neck, getting to your chest. You were finding it hard to breathe without making a sound. You wanted to moan.
“Why do you taste like champagne?” Jaehyun’s tongue ran over your cleavage and he’d pulled back, licking his lips. “Does the taste go everywhere? Should I taste test?” Jaehyun’s fingers lowered onto your ass and the way your arms wrapped his neck and practically let you hang on his frame was really embarrassing. “What? So you push me away, but you get drunk and miss me?”
“Mmh, I do miss you,” you pulled your head a bit away and leaned in front of his face, letting Jaehyun’s lips find yours on their own. He kissed your lips, pushing you more against his body like he missed you too. You could feel it in the way his tongue was pacing in your mouth with no breaks. “Take me home,” you mewled against his mouth.
“I can’t, baby. I have to spend some more time here.”
“But I want you,” you cried out loud. You had no idea what you were doing, throwing yourself at him like that. You could only blame it on alcohol and hope he understood it too.
Jaehyun pulled back, smile so wide embarrassment hit you even through the hazed state. His lips landed onto your temple. “I know, you’ve been a good girl waiting for me for weeks all of this time; don’t break this thing we have. Be my good girl.” You were sure your heart exploded in your chest and now the pieces were scattering down your insides. You’ll replay those words in your head non-stop; scratch whatever you said before about wanting him to leave, wishing he didn’t want you anymore. It was all bullshit; this right here is what you were dreaming of. Be his; get praised and taken care of, loved and cherished all by him.
Instead of an answer you cuddled into him, hiding your face against his beating heart and Jaehyun let you sink into the feeling, let you hold him tightly, returning the gesture by giving you the tightest hug in return.
“It’s not like you’re going to walk back home?” He’d caressed your side in a minute.
“No, I think my uncle’s going to drive me back home.”
“Okay, good. You have to return back there before it gets too suspicious. Go to your uncle and tell him you want to go home.” Jaehyun peeled you from his body and took your face in his hands once more. You nodded, agreeing.
“Will you come see me when you’re done here?”
“I don’t know, I’ll have to see.” Jaehyun looked at you sincerely and then kissed your lips for the briefest moment. “I’ll try to.”
“I’ll be waiting.” He’d chuckled amused at the admittance and let go, trying to take a step away from you. You’d caught his arm, making him cheese even wider than before; he thought you needed more of his kisses and pressed his mouth against yours.
But it’s not what you meant; even though you weren’t opposed to the idea of kissing him for a little longer, you pulled his mouth away from yours and wiped your red lipstick from his face with the back of your palm. It probably still was messy, but it was the best you could do with the eyes that barely saw a thing.
You let Jaehyun go and stepped away, walking back to the dining area, forgetting all about the bathroom, you found uncle G and begged him to take you home early. He had no reason to tell you no.
You quickly got back home and took a very quick and a very sobering shower, falling asleep around 5 AM when your brain and eyes couldn’t take it anymore.
You’ve waited for Jaehyun the entire night and he never showed up. He lied to you like he always did.
I saw that account in the jaehyun tags and I was wondering if I’m delusional or not because the read they did for his personality sounds accurate too 🙃
I mean I'm glad I'm not alone in this delulu world anon😆
I also looked up on that acc they have two more readings abt Jaehyun, have you seen it??
based on tarot. all readings are alleged and for entertainment purposes only
cards pulled: tarot - tower rx, eight of swords, five of swords. archetypes - exorcist, child: nature, servant (shadow), poet, femme fatale (shadow), shape shifter. media - the goonies, friday, drake. unicorns - trust, prosperity
Jaehyun as a boyfriend is fun, romantic, close, charming, & addictive at first, then stressful if you don’t learn to navigate his coldness & handle his avoidance & his ego games early.
He comes in with a best friend-ish boyfriend vibe. Theres a lot of hanging out, inside jokes, late nights, playful teasing, & being physically comfortable with each other fast. He likes feeling like you’re his person, his little world, someone he can relax around & feel like home with when he’s not working. He can be very affectionate in an everyday way, like cuddling, being around you a lot, wanting the “we always end up together” routine (like no matter what happens thought the day, you’ll always end up tangled together)
He can be very smooth & romantic when he wants to be, he knows how to talk, how to flirt, & he likes being genuinely desired by the person he’s interested in. He can be very good at making you feel singled out, like he’ll say the right things, especially in the beginning, & it makes the connection feel special.
But one of his core issues, & I think this isn’t necessarily relationship-specific, is that he avoids hard truths until he feels trapped in situations. He doesn’t like direct confrontation, he’d rather keep emotions out of things & keep things “fine” than actually fix what’s wrong. He can stay in a half-stable relationship that’s quietly rotting just so he doesn’t have to deal with the fallout of change. He can mentally spiral, imagine worst case scenarios & feeling stuck in his own head instead of saying what he needs. He tends to avoid action & withdraws instead.
When he feels cornered, insecure, or like he’s losing control, he can get petty & argue to win, not to resolve things. He can twist words, bring up old stuff, or do subtle power moves. Its not always obvious or aggressive, sometimes it’s subtle punishment like coldness, distance, sarcasm, making you feel like you’re “too much,” & acting like you’re irrational so he doesn’t have to admit he’s the one avoiding things.
He copes by escaping, so he zones out, avoids hard talks, distracts himself, & only wants things to feel easy & fun instead of heavy. He’d rather chill, laugh, have sex, eat, relax, & forget problems, & when you try to make things serious or overly emotional, he can act like you’re ruining the vibe, but because he can he so charming, seductive, & emotionally persuasive, he knows how to pull you back in pretty easily after conflict or being cold.
He can also be intense about “fixing” problems, but it can turn into being judgmental & controlling, like he might decide what’s wrong with you or what’s wrong with the relationship & then try to purge it, rather than listening. He can also have strong moral reactions to things, like he’ll suddenly act like something is unacceptable, even if he tolerated it before, & not go back on that thought.
When he’s mentally healthy, he’s honestly pretty simple. He likes peace, comfort, food, sleep, staying in, like small joys that can only be shared with you & no one else. He can be VERY sweet in private, he wants a relationship that feels like a safe home base so he treats you like home.
But because of this, he can overgive to earn love, then resent you for “needing” him. He can do favors, show up, be reliable, then later act like you owe him emotionally, he may not say it directly, but it comes out as passive aggression. He wants validation and emotional comfort from his person.
He’s also very sincere, like he actually feels quite deeply. He romanticizes & he can be very sentimental, especially when he’s alone thinking about you. He’s the type to remember little things and get attached to a vibe.
While he’s super flirty & adaptable, that also causes him to switch faces depending on what gets him what he wants. He can be very charming to other people, & he knows it, so he can also keep options open mentally, even if he’s “taken,” because attention feeds him.
One of the number one things he needs is a partner he can trust & who trusts him, but he also has to earn that trust by being straightforward. If he senses you don’t trust him, he’ll get even more secretive & if you sense he’s secretive, you’ll get more anxious. That’s how things can spiral & turn bad in his connections.
Him at his best in a relationship is very stable & likes building, he’s the provider type, he genuinely likes improving your life, making things nicer, taking care of practical stuff, elevating the relationship. He may even find himself dating “down” status wise a lot for his reason. But, it only stays prosperous in this way if the relationship has honesty & clear boundaries. Otherwise the same energy becomes power games.
warnings: swearing, one-night stand, strangers to lovers, sex scenes (car sex, unprotected sex, oral f/m receiving, breast play, fingering etc), angsty conversations, mentions of military emergencies and injuries (nothing graphic), broken promises, break up, happy ending (kinda)
words: 25k
summary: you had sex with a guy from the club once. two months later that same man appeared before your eyes once more and invited you to his place, saying how he couldn't forget you. you couldn't remember his name, but he was cute and that was somehow enough for you to follow him. the rest - is part of your love story.
I really hope you'll enjoy this one-shot inspired by a whole bunch of Jaehyun's military pics I've seen on the internet😌
happy birthday, valentine boy <3
You pulled the shirt up the guy's stomach, forgetting all about pulling the piece of clothing off him as soon as your eyes landed on the perfect six-pack adorning his stomach. You let your fingers trail his abs, paying more attention to the outline of each muscle than anything else until his tongue glided over your pulse point and your body responded with millions of shivers down your limbs.
“You’re a gym fanatic?” You questioned the guy above you, connecting his body with his possible hobbies. He looked way beyond ripped for a person who just eventually went to the gym if the muscles on his arms, stomach and pecks were of any indicator.
He let a little chuckle out, eyes running down onto your palm over his skin.
"No, not really. Though I am going to the gym regularly."
"It's paying off." You had no intention of keeping your praise from him.
"I know." Jaehyun smirked, leaning back in to kiss your mouth. His lips moved feverishly against yours, keeping the pace of your whole encounter hungry and quick.
He pressed you further into his mattress and only then you'd remembered you wanted to get him naked. You finished the task this time and threw his black tee somewhere in the room. The man above you leaned back in and you felt a touch of cold metal against your chest, making you shiver all over; his tongue licked into your jaw giving the shivers an additional boost.
It was his necklace.
You sneaked a hand between your bodies and before he could feel the touch, pushed him back off you with another hand. “Is that a dog tag?” You asked blindly.
As he moved back a little, a lonely beam of light from the lamp proved you right. He silently glanced at you holding the necklace and back into your eyes.
You turned the silver metal in your hands to see it in the dimmed light. “Jeong Yuno” you read out loud. “I thought you said your name was-.”
“It is. Both are correct.”
“Huh?”
“It’s a long story.” You knew what he meant by that. It’s a long story, and you’re a quick fuck, drop it.
“Fuck long stories.” You chuckled and let the necklace go, leaving it to dangle between your chests. “You’re not eighteen, right?” You pushed him back a little once more once the thought struck you.
It’s not like he was serving in the military right after school and somehow stumbled upon you at a club, right? That would’ve been an epic fail you couldn’t recover from.
"Military is my main occupation; I'm not a conscript." Jaehyun let a chuckle past his lips and pressed them into your jawbone again.
"Really?" You tried to force him back once more, but he knew already you'd do that and caught your fingers in his, forcing your arm back on the bed.
"I am a ROK Army Special Forces captain.”
“Really?” You raised a skeptical eye at him.
“What? Did you think military people don’t do one night stands?”
“No, that’s just so hot.” You gripped his wrist, making it move down your body in your hold. He’d understood your action and patted you through your panties, making your eyes roll into your head. “You’re what-. Serving the country during the day and going to clubs for a fuck at night? Can I see your uniform after?”
“Depends on your behaviour.” You gasped, feeling Jaehyun’s fingers run under the cotton, sneaking right into your heat. “Looks like you’re a good girl, huh.”
“Want to give me your phone number?” Jaehyun asked with much nonchalance, like he’d asked you only to ask. You swallowed a scoff.
“Do you need it?” You weren’t ashamed to act hard to get.
“I mean-, sex was good so why would I not?” He said with much passion and you thought he was done with his sentence, but he’d added in a much weaker manner. “Not want to find out what kind of person stands behind it?”
“Oh.” You weren’t even trying to hide the smirk or the teasing. “Is that what you do?”
“What do I do?” He scratched his brow, confused, watching you pick up your dress shirt from the chair.
"You called me a one-night stand about five times last night and now you want a phone number." You gave him a look he didn't like and sighed.
"Okay, let's never see each other again, okay?”
“That’s better.” You nodded. “See you never, Jaehyun.” You chuckled, actually taking time to walk over the bed to stand before him. “Thanks for serving our country.” You leaned in to peck his cheek and walked out of his apartment.
It wasn't much of a surprise when a person groped your upper arm from the back; men, especially intoxicated men, felt entitled to a woman's body when they were at a club. You let the eye roll surpass you before you turned around and with all the sweetness you could muster planned to tell the man to fuck off.
It was always better to talk to them like to babies; intoxicated men were much worse than kids.
You tried to shook the grip off you as you turned around, eyes half closed with all the light that suddenly burned your eyes from behind the man.
“You need to be more gentle if you want a lady to dance with you.” Whatever cocky sweetness you had in store for this stupid creature died down in your throat by a third word and all you were left with was a whisper.
The reason behind that was your eyes getting used to the light.
"I could tell it was you from the back." You looked at him confused, lowering your gaze down to the man's chest; R.O.K.A. fleece zip-jacket covering his arms from you.
You were so shocked to see him like this, wearing some sort of his uniform; you couldn't say a word.
You reached your fingers out to the zip and pushed it down to his abdomen to see if he was wearing a matching black shirt.
He was.
You pushed the jacket to the side and saw the same four letters adorn his chest. You could even see the chain of his dog tag peek around his neck.
"Your hair seems longer than two months ago?" He still held his grip on your arm, so you felt it's only fair if you'd run your fingers through his fringe. "Why are you here wearing this?”
“I’m on leave and I got back to the city like an hour ago.”
“Okay?” You stared blankly. He wanted another night with you, didn’t he?
“I was looking for you.” You raised your brows up.
Oh, he definitely did.
It’s been two whole months since you saw each other. For not longer than four hours. You literally flirted with him at the club for fifteen minutes and in another forty you were kissing each other at the entrance of his apartment. You woke up at seven AM because an alarm went off on his phone and left not ten minutes after. You had issues remembering his name, though you had a perfect memory of him inside of you and his lips all over your skin.
You would've lied if you'd said you couldn't remember his striking face, or his body, or the way he kissed your mouth with so much fervour; you remembered all of it and maybe even thought of him a couple of times as a good memory, but what you couldn't remember was his name. What was it?
He didn’t lie about his occupation though, it seems. You were glad to know he was honest.
“For two months?” If he needed you for some reason, he could’ve found you here pretty much any day of the week the club was open. “You’re lying-.”
“No, tonight. I was looking for you here tonight and I found you.” He leaned in for you to hear him better as the DJ changed the song.
"You did." You chuckled, still confused at this sudden wish to see you. "Why now?" You let your eyes stare a little too long at his features. You were even contemplating in your head by now if he'd looked better with shorter or longer hair. Probably either; a face like that hardly could look bad with any hairdo.
If you had a drink you would’ve already flirted with him by now, probably even tried to kiss him. But you were stone cold sober and blinked at him like you had no idea what he wanted.
Damn.
"You didn't give me your phone number and I couldn't come find you before; now I have the chance, and I'm here to tell you I've been thinking about you this whole time." You let the furrow of your brow, that you didn't even realise you had, go, surprised with the admittance.
That was… cute. You remembered how you brushed him off in the morning after, and it seemed… to work, huh? Now he was here to beg for more time together.
“I’m not sure I can return the sentiment.” You looked at him apologetically. He was cute and all, but there was no point in lying. You didn’t even remember his name.
“I know, I’d be surprised if you come home with me tonight.” You couldn’t understand if he was asking or saying it as a given. He finally paid attention to his fingers gripping your arm and let you go; you took it as an opportunity to step closer to him. Okay, maybe it wasn’t the alcohol that boosted your flirtatiousness last time.
Maybe it was him.
“You’re cute, but I don’t remember what your name is.” You cupped his cheek, getting on your tiptoes to get in front of his face.
“You can read it on my dog tag as you undress me?” He gave you a cocky brow and you liked that answer. It felt like he deserved a kiss, so you quickly pecked his mouth and went back to your height.
“I will. Wait for me here, Mr. Stranger and we can go.” He nodded and you took off in the direction of the bar, raising your hand up to attract the bartender’s attention.
The guy quickly crossed the space to you and leaned in to listen.
“Woo, I’m leaving early today.” He nodded. “Make sure things don’t turn into shit, and for the love of god, please, don’t fuck in the backroom once your shift is over. We’ve got cameras installed there. None of us want to be blinded like the last time.”
“He was st-.” Woo tried to justify his actions but honestly - you didn’t want to hear it. You were traumatised enough.
"Please! Keep it to yourself; just don't do anything that'll make me want to get you fired, okay?"
"Yes, boss." He saluted you military style, leaving you wondering if that was a coincidence.
"Is that your friend?" The guy gestured back at the bar, clearly a witness to the whole encounter.
"Worse. He's my subordinate." You sighed and saw his eyes double in size.
"Do you own this place?”
"No, no. Just manage." You shook him off quickly.
"Really?" He leaned in confused. He glanced over your body and it must've done nothing to him, because he returned his gaze back at your face as confused as before.
God, he was so clueless.
You were wearing pants. You were a lady on business duty, clearly. If you were here to seduce men you would’ve worn a skirt. Last time you were in a literal dress shirt. Who does come to a club in a dress shirt? Not you. Not your club visitors either.
“Is that disappointment on your face? You liked better the illusion I was here to party and fuck?”
"No, no; quite the opposite. I've imagined seeing you here a few times and always feared you'd be here with someone else. That's a relief.”
“Damn, you’re really cute. What was your name?”
He chose to ignore you. “You’re good to go?” You nodded. “After you.” He gestured and you beelined before him to the exit.
"So." You sing-sang, sighing as you buckled up in his car.
He had a car; it was good to know.
It felt like it was totally new, and the scent of new leather was proving your point. You looked behind your shoulder and saw a backpack with the national flag velcro patch attached to it. "You're serving outside the city." You stated.
He nodded his head and you focused your attention on his face. Lips pursed as his teeth bit into his cheek in an obvious sign of his focus on the road. His fingers tapped against the steering wheel to the beat of a jazzy tune on the radio as he waited for a long enough gap to drive out of the parking spot.
“It’s still not connecting to me, usually they let people leave barracks in the morning. Unless you serve in a different country, it’s impossible for you to only be back in the city at 2AM.” You’ve been trying to connect his words through the whole short walk to his car.
He moved his leg from the gas pedal, dropping his back onto the backrest; wildest smirk plastered over his mouth.
“You can’t even remember my name but are complaining that I took too long to find you?”
"I'm just trying to connect your story to make sure you're not a psycho that came here to murder me." he played with his eyebrows, smiling and returned his attention back to trying to drive away from the club. "And I can remember that you had two names; I just can't remember what it was." He took a short glance at you like yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying, you don't know my name and focused back on the road, finally pushing the gas pedal and driving off the parking space.
"Can you please take my glasses out of the glovebox?" His pointing finger gestured to your side, and you pulled the lock to open the compartment.
Great. You didn't even know his name and he was acting like you were here to take his orders.
"Are these real?" You easily spotted the black frame of the glasses and took them out, inspecting.
“Yes.” He reached his hand out palm up and you figured you should extend the arms of the glasses for him to not bother with that while driving. You left questions about his poor eye sight for another day. “Thank you.” He graced you with a single nod, eyes focused on the road; nonchalantly letting a cough past his lips, he once again pointed his finger towards the glovebox once you reached to close it. "Can you also take out the card that's in there." He began to piss you off a little with all his requests.
You quickly fished the laminated card lying on top of a bunch of papers out and locked the glovebox with force, pushing it towards him.
He glanced quickly at your annoyed face expression and thought it was a good idea to chuckle once more. “That’s for you.”
You felt deeply confused, but still moved the card back to your face so you’d see what it was.
Oh. OH.
It was his military ID.
Date of birth, first name, surname, his rank, unit, and service status were all written on the little piece of plastic with a very cute, despite his standard uniform and a beret, photo.
“Yuno.” You softly said.
Right, that’s what his name was. Now you could remember.
“That’s me.” He responded and your head raised back up to see him.
Just in time you've stopped at the street light and he'd propped his head on his left hand that rested against the armrest. He scrunched his nose on one side to adjust the glasses over his nose, a soft smile adorning his mouth as he looked at you, and it was hard for you to not smile back, so you just did.
And maybe you were too tired to be thinking straight, but in that moment you felt like you fell in love with him. Over a simple gesture of fixing his glasses. Or maybe it wasn’t even that.
“What was the other one?”
“Does it matter?”
"Mmh. I have to decide how I'm going to call you." Yuno grinned; the horns from the car behind were the only reason he pulled himself together and went back to driving.
You looked out the window and realised you can’t remember how you’ve gotten to his apartment last time. You were pretty sure he was drunk back then. You’ve had a few drinks yourself because one of your friends was leaving the club and you had a farewell party; then he appeared out of nowhere and you’ve lost your mind as his eyes quite obviously settled on you.
You contemplated whether or not you wanted to ask if he drove you to his place last time, and by the time you’ve decided on doing so - he’d made a turn and drove down the parking lot.
You didn’t make much conversation going out of the car, waiting for the elevator, or walking down to his apartment. He’d let you trail behind him like you lived here together and you felt confused.
You get that he was a military man, but if he wanted sex he needed to make some sort of move on you. Like the first time.
Not make it feel like a chore - especially when you had a total less than thirty minutes of conversation between you and barely knew each other’s names.
In the same quiet manner he walked into the apartment, taking his shoes off and you’ve done the same, barely catching up to him walking into the bedroom, backpack still intact on his shoulder since he retrieved it from the backseat.
“Do you want a short or a long sleeve?” you’ve watched him put his backpack on a chair and take the fleece off his shoulders. He’d taken the watch off his wrist and left it on the table next to the closet he was currently staring at.
He felt a little bit like a psycho; you couldn't shake the thought now that you've thought it. You were glad you stayed by the door frame. If he'd shown any signs of psychosis, at least you had a head start to the exit.
"Excuse me?”
“For sleeping.” He peeked from behind the door. “Short or long sleeved tee?”
“Oh.” You gulped on a huge lump of air. “Weren’t we about to have sex?”
“I’ve been up for almost twenty hours; if we could just sleep-.” Yuno held in a yawn, eyes on the wall; you followed his gaze to make sure he was looking at the clock over there.
“You brought me here to sleep?” He nodded like it was a given.
He for sure was nuts.
“Why?” You pressed, a little psyched yourself. Maybe it was the lack of sleep on your part, but you were sure one of the serial killers you’ve read about was also pretty and harmless to the eye.
“I told you, I couldn’t forget you. I was in the city and wanted to see you. Came to the same place I saw you at last time and damn, you’re in my bedroom again.”
“But to sleep?” You didn’t know if you should step forward or back, out of his apartment.
“Yes. You didn’t give me your phone number and the club isn’t even open for the next three days. I pushed my luck.”
“Was the bringing me here part necessary?” You folded your arms over your chest. You’d decided on staying and pressed your shoulder against the door frame.
“You didn’t give me your phone number.” He peaked out again and looked at you like he was sincerely finding it difficult to see why you couldn’t understand.
“You know, normal people just ask for a phone number or KaTalk ID once more.”
“Well, consider me not normal.” He let a sigh out and you could see it on his face - the moment he processed what he said to an almost stranger he’d just kidnapped to his apartment.
“I am.” You shrugged and Yuno smiled.
“I’m going to shower and I’ll sleep on the couch.” He’d taken some clothes out for you and put them on the bed, approaching you with his sleeping attire in hand.
“Couch? Why?”
“Because I genuinely look like a psycho, don’t I?” You couldn’t hold back a smile. You gave him a few nods and walked to meet him halfway.
“But you should stay here with me. If you’re saying you wanted to see me, isn’t it better you stay close so you could see what you’ve been looking for?” You let your pointing finger draw lines over his chest; Yuno replied with a nod. “Be quick, I want to get in bed with you.” You raised on your tiptoes, smooching his lips.
You were awkward at initiating physical touch with him as he lay in bed, flat on his back, eyes closed. You'd looked at him for a few minutes before you'd crept a brush of fingers over his bicep and he'd startled you with how fast his eyes opened.
It was just military training, you hoped.
He'd glanced over at you and you fully reached for his arm, moving it up to slide under, and he understood you perfectly, scooting closer to your body and scooping you under his arm. Then you'd let your arm rest over his clothed chest, and then with featherlight strokes moved it up to his chin and jaw, guiding his eyes onto you.
Now you were softly panting into his mouth, as Yuno continued letting the licks of his tongue stroke yours, your back pressed into his arm as he'd hovered over you - keeping you under and fully enveloped in his presence.
Your fingers gave short strokes to the short hair on his nape and behind his ear, and you could even feel him purr against your skin when his lips focused much on licking into your neck. He'd returned back to your mouth and you were the one to push him on top of you, mouths moves paced.
You weren't sure what time it was; you'd kissed and then just cuddled in silence and then kissed again. It felt like you were in rem and dreamt all of this happening to you, brain so tired you weren't even able to believe you were still awake and actively indulging in the most heart-wrenching make out of your life. He was a good kisser.
No, fuck that. He was an excellent one and his body pressure felt perfect, and his body temperature was exactly warm enough to make you feel cozy under his touch. It’d felt so good you were almost convinced if he’d asked, you would’ve told him you loved him right there and then.
You tickled behind his ear and he’d nuzzled his face in your neck like he was a kitty.
“Do you have to leave the city tomorrow?” You wondered; if he’d said he was away this whole time, was this just his weekend leave?
"No, I'm on vacation. I'll be here for a little while." He reassured you, pressing lips into your jaw.
He'd stretched his limbs and only then it hit you that he must be twice as tired as you are. He probably woke up at six AM or worse.
"Do you only work at that club?" He'd asked before you could tell him to rest.
"No, I actually have an office job at my brother's company. He owns a law firm and I'm an associate lawyer. The club is my brother's wife's side kick and I manage the place when I need money. It's a very long story." You let him know the truth without regrets.
"Wow." He let a surprised chuckle. "So you're a nepo baby, if you can say that about siblings." He clearly said it with no bad intention, so you took no offence.
"Mmh. And you're a ROK Army Special Forces captain. Don't act like it's nothing shocking.”
“Depending on what’s shocking for you.” Yuno’s thumb brushed your side.
“Where are you serving?”
“My main occupation was always here, in the city. I was recommended to a division at the border a few months back and ever since then I’ve been not far from Yongdae. I can’t disclose where exactly.”
“Yongdae?” You pressed your palm into his chest. “So you’re a liar, Jeong Yuno?”
"Why?" He clearly didn't catch up to your teasing yet.
"You said you only came to the city an hour ago. Yongdae is like a two hour drive from here." As far as you could remember the map in your head, it was hardly a day-long job to drive anywhere within your country.
"We had a farewell party; one of my friends was moved to the south.”
“And you didn’t drink?”
“I was set to come find you.”
“You’re cute.” You smiled, letting your lips land on the corner of his mouth.
"Literally everyone was telling me to lay back and get back home tomorrow." He paused and as his brow furrowed, questioned you. "Wait, how do you know what time we're permitted to leave?" Yuno shuffled. "Ah, don't answer. You said you had a brother. Where did he serve?”
“Marine.”
“I see.” He nodded and clearly suppressed another urge to yawn. He’d finally given in to the wish to sleep, it seemed. “You don’t have anywhere to go in the morning, right?”
“No, I don’t think so.”
“Good. I’m really going to pass out, I’m sorry. We’ll talk more in the morning.”
"No, no. You should sleep; I can't even imagine how you had the strength to drive to the club and then back home. Military discipline is crazy." He gave you a smile, and then a little kiss to your lips, dropping on his back after, falling asleep.
You woke up, first instinct to run to the bathroom and make yourself presentable without making much noise, but then you reconsidered and brushed your hair down the parting with your fingers and wiped your eyes and mouth, in case you were drooling in your sleep.
You turned around, met with Yuno’s clothed back, hidden behind the duvet all the way up to his ears. You scooted closer to him and caressed his back between the shoulder blades in light taps of your palm. You really tried your best to be careful and soft in case you’d scare him; it didn’t help.
You could hear exactly the moment his breathing turned from soft sleeping breaths into regular breathing, and he'd immediately sat up, probably on instinct.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up like this." You watched him press the backs of his palms into his eyes and turn around to take a look at you. You smiled apologetically, eyes scanning his sleepy ones and the print of the pillow on his cheek. Hair, though short, still able to stick all over the place on his head.
It was hard to not pinpoint how much hair he had on his head. And body, for that matter.
"It's okay." He rasped and looked away, shaking his head a little.
"You can lay back down." You patted his pillow, awkward to suggest anything at all. He'd just given you the wildest look, like you weren't even invited to his bed in the first place, and it made the supposed morning after feel even worse.
Morning after what though? You, being stolen? You weren't drunk and you didn't have sex last night, and somehow the feelings were much more awkward than that first time.
“I’m sorry, I can’t mess up my schedule, I need to go for a run.”
"A run?" You worked hard to swallow the bewilderment you felt in that moment.
"Yes. I thought I'll wake up on time by force of habit." He glanced at the clock and so did you; it was past 11AM, definitely not the time he usually got out of bed. "And I'd be back before you're awake. I'm sorry.”
“No, it’s totally okay. I can leave and we’ll settle on a different day.” Yuno stood from the bed and furrowed his brow at you. “I’ll give you my phone number.” You smiled, but his face stayed serious.
"No, please stay. I'll be like forty minutes and then I'm all yours." He shuffled with his clothes, changing out of the sleeping shirt into his training shirt and hoodie, sweatpants switched for running shorts. "If you want to, of course. I won't insist." He added much more aware of what this might've looked like, and you felt bad, for some reason.
“Yuno?"
“Yes?” He turned around at your holler.
“Come here.” He obeyed, following the gesture of your finger and walked back to the bed on your side, waiting for you. You reached a hand out and pulled him in by the zipper of his hoodie.
“Your discipline is sexy, but forty minutes. I’ll be waiting right here, okay?” He nodded, finally letting a slip of smile adorn his lips. You pressed your mouth into his cheek and let him go.
"All men do is lie, and you definitely are not an exception." You stretched in his bed, hoping the sound of your voice would run all the way to the entrance where he, given by the sounds of it, was taking his shoes off. It's been definitely longer than forty minutes, and you were bored out of your mind in his bed after you'd inspected his room with your eyes and spent good fifteen minutes in the bathroom brushing your hair with your fingers and chewing on his toothpaste.
"What? Sorry, I couldn't hear you from back there." He peeked through the door, and then walked himself through it and you stared at his arms. Both busy, one with two cups and the other one with a paper bag.
"It's nothing." You swallowed your grumbling and sat up.
"I ain't got a single clue what you like, so I got an Americano and one coffee with milk. If you don't do coffee at all, I have tea in the kitchen. I got a lot of pastries in this bag because again, I had no idea what you like, so if none of it matches your taste I can fry you eggs, or I think I have oatmeal or cereal? I have to check, I haven't been home for weeks." It looked like he panicked a little and you'd swallowed a cry at his cuteness.
“Yuno, it’s okay.” You calmed him down. “I’ll have whatever you brought. Thank you.” He crossed the room and put everything on the bedside table next to you.
“It’s okay to eat in bed.” He gestured with his hands. “I’ll join you after a shower.”
You sat up on your knees, inspecting his face glistening with sweat, patches of red still visible on his skin from running.
“Which coffee do you like?”
"It doesn't matter." He shook his head but the way his eyes wavered let you know it wasn't true. You were a lawyer; you liked to think you were able to see people lie.
"Really?" You gave him a stern brow.
"Okay, I like my coffee without milk." He gave in.
“Good, because I like it with milk.” Opposites attract and shit, huh. Yuno smiled and your arms locked around his neck. “Is it a cappuccino or a latte?”
“The latter.”
"You even hit the jackpot." You giggled leaning in to kiss his lips. Yuno kissed you back, pulling back right after.
"Give me five minutes to shower; I'm sweaty.”
"I don't care." You tried to flush your chest against his, his fingers catching your torso in a deadly grip, not letting you touch his soaking shirt.
"I do." He whispered and you stopped, letting him go and falling back into the bed. "You can start eating without me.”
“How is it?” Yuno ruffled his hair with a towel, standing at the foot of the bed, watching you take a bite off one of the pastries, and you nodded, taking a sip from the cup. You put it back on the bedside table, swallowing everything that was in your mouth to give him a proper reply.
“Amazing. You’ve got a good taste.” You flirted with a little raise of your shoulder. “In both pastries and women, it seems.” He teased his lower lip between his teeth and leaned into the bed, still standing. His fingers found your foot under the covers and pulled onto it, so you slid all the way down to the edge of the bed.
“I sure am.” He smirked and set his knees onto the bed, leaning his whole body over you. “I’m sorry I made you wait.” Yuno trailed the outlines of your lips with his mouth, gaze focusing back on your eyes.
“I’m sure it’ll be worth the wait.” he loved your flirting, gifting you one of his pretty smirks, and he dove in to kiss your mouth, lips running slowly against yours. One of his arms moved between your bodies, all the way down to your thigh to make you hook your leg around his waist.
As you followed with his wishes, you felt his groin flush into your core and before you knew it a moan escaped your lips. Yuno smiled through the kiss and made another thrust with his hips; your arms finally giving in and locking around his neck.
He trailed his mouth down your chin and neck, stopping right when his mouth met with the material of your shirt. He sat up on his heels and pulled you in with him to a sitting position like you were a rag doll, pulling the shirt over your head.
His eyes traveled over your exposed chest he was yet to see in the daylight, palm covering one mound in its hold with a little squeeze of his fingers.
"So beautiful." He let a hitched breath out as his mouth latched onto the other, quickly running the trail down to your nipple and sucking on it. Your fingers groped onto his shoulder, lips calling out for God, as his mouth went sloppy, kissing the skin under your breast and running a wet trail to the other side to make shivers run down your back while his tongue teased the sensitive bud.
“Tell me what you like.” He’d demanded. The only reason you’d seen his darkened gaze set on you was your eyes widening at the sound of his voice. It was so guttural, you’ve never heard it like this before. Not like you had many chances to.
"This." You whined as his lips gave pressure to your nipple once more. He mumbled a little good against your skin and after a few more teasing runs of his tongue against your chest, ran his mouth down your stomach.
Kisses, on kisses and even more kisses, which made you feel like his mouth was everywhere at the same time. You felt like he’d used some magic on you, making you squirm under his sensitive touch. His fingers still teased your nipple and he'd been so whole-consuming with his foreplay you'd only figured out where he was going when his mouth took the fabric of your panties between his teeth to pull it down.
You’d caught his head with your palms before he could go any further, forcing him back up onto your eye level. He’d complied to your wishes with no protest.
“Don’t tell me that’s something you don’t like.” He teased, fingers brushing the column of your throat.
“Just not today.” You flattered your eyes.
"Why?" He whined like you'd told a child he’s not allowed to watch any more cartoons for tonight.
"I have to keep my secrets to entice you, don't I?" He'd smiled at you, mouth pressing into your cheek to run all the way down to your ear.
"I am already enticed. No point in keeping secrets." He whispered against your ear, pulling back to see if he'd persuaded you.
"There's nothing a man wouldn't do to get between a girl's legs; you're not an exception, it seems." You'd taken his face in your hands, pulling him back in.
"Okay, we'll have it your way." He'd let you pull him in for a kiss.
"Besides, we can't spend the entire day in bed. I have to get to know you." You ran your fingers through his hair, loving the feeling of his thick short hair against your skin.
"You can do that later; I won't take long. This, I can promise." He smirked, but you'd just raised a brow suppressing the smile, and he raised back up to your face, fingers running over the side of your underwear. "Am I allowed to finger you?"
"As far as I can remember from our last time,"
"First time." He corrected you.
“Okay, our first time; your fingers will do both of us a favour.”
“They certainly will, baby.” He’d let his hand travel back down to your underwear, boldly getting behind it and against your skin. You curved your back, thighs trying to run away from his touch. He let his thumb circle over your clit and your gasps filled the room.
"When do you have to go back?"
Yuno groaned. "Don’t even remind me that I have to. I don’t want to think about that when I'm in bed with you."
"But I need to know for how long I'm going to have you for.” You smiled, caressing the side of his face. He’d pressed his other cheek to the side of your bare breast, giving your rib attention with his tongue, even though you’ve just got your breath back to normal. You were beginning to hope he’d run out of strength to get hard at this point.
"You can have me for as long as you want to." Yuno's fingers tickled your bare waist, and he'd raised his head to wrestle your body perpendicularly to his. He'd ended up with his face over your lower stomach, and you couldn't understand how he did that, lowering his face against the bare skin there and just stared into your soul from down there.
“I can’t have any more sex tonight.” You let him know honestly, it was beyond your strength to give him more of you. He’d taken, quite literally, it all.
“I’m just looking at you.” He let his lips land below your belly button and you sucked your stomach in at the tickle.
“You're not going to vanish for another two months once two weeks are up, right?”
"To ensure that I don't have a reason to do that," Yuno trailed his eyes to the bedside table and you did the same, looking at his phone. "I'm going to need your phone number." You got the clue and reached out to give him his phone to unlock.
-
“I promised my friends I’ll go bowling with them Wednesday night. Do you think you’d want to come with me?”
“I’m terrible at bowling.” Yuno chuckled. “But it’s not about the game only, isn’t it?”
“Mmh. I don’t want to be separated from you if I have a chance to not do so.” He let his mouth land on your temple, keeping it family friendly in front of all the people that walked the same street as you.
“Then you have to promise me you’ll teach me the proper way to play.”
“I will.” He pecked your lips, forgoing propriety. “So it’s settled?”
“Mmmh.”
“So, how serious your friends are about bowling?” You scratched your brow, watching Yuno pull out something that looked like a wrist support from the seat pocket. Did he have proper attire to play the game? Was he part of a pro-bowler club? You felt out of place before you even made it out of the car.
“I fear, very serious.” He let out with a sigh. You were doomed, weren’t you.
“And who’s the best player so I make sure I team up with them?” Yuno looked at you with a shy smirk. “What? You’re trying to say it’s you?”
“I’m not even bragging, I swear.” He let out with a scoff.
“Sure, you’re not.”
“Okay, you can ask them who won three previous all-night tournaments we pulled.” Yuno gave you a brow, but you honestly couldn’t give him the praising reaction he was looking for - you were too stunned to speak.
All-nighters? He can’t be serious, can he.
“All night? I can’t stay all night though.” You leaned to him over the armrest.
“I know, you have to go to work. I also wasn’t planning to make you suffer this long. I plan to be on top of you in no longer than four hours.” You giggled at his blatancy, letting your mouth leave a pink stain over his cheek.
“You just said it yourself, I have to go to work in the morning.” Yuno’s eyes darted at the clock on the panel of his car.
“What? It’s half past eight, it won’t even be midnight in four hours. I’m sure you can spare me an hour.”
“An hour? Are we doing ten rounds?” You found a perfect chance to tease him. You’ve experienced his stamina enough at this point, you’d need way beyond an hour to do ten rounds with him.
“Oh, you. Shut up.” Yuno rolled his eyes waving you off, then it seemed to strike him a little. The familiarity that could’ve possibly made someone uncomfortable in such a new relationship.
But you weren’t uncomfortable, you were glad to see the real side of him. You were excited to meet his friends and see his normal life. Judge his personality outside of being under him or on top of him.
“If you didn’t get it by the all-nighters, we’re a little manic when it comes to bowling. I’m sorry for the man I’m about to be.” Yuno stopped you next to the elevator door leading you from the parking lot, eyes looking like he was sincerely concerned, sorry and worried all at the same time.
If he was going through so much stress with that invitation, you sure were thankful as hell he still kept it.
“Really?” You let your arm slide around his neck, Yuno pulled you in with his, running it to your waist. “A man of passion, then.”
“Yes. Unfortunately, competitiveness is by far my worst personality trait.” You could not not smile at his admittance. Also, at the fact he was calling being competitive his worst trait - like he either was a saint or had poor judgement of his own self.
“Then I should be really glad, Yuno. I can’t even pick one of mine to tell you.” His other hand wrapped your waist too, and now you were flushed against him, your own arms making the contact even closer; letting your mouths trail the traces of each other.
“You’re just being too harsh on yourself.” He let his lips land on yours for a split second. “You seem perfect to me.”
“You’ve known me for three days.”
“And two months. I want us to keep that time in the counts.”
“I haven’t even remembered your name until Sunday night.”
“Well, shame on you. I’ve had plenty of time to think what you were like in actual life.”
“And how is it matching?” You felt Yuno’s palm slide down your waist, caressing your lower back with the tips of his fingers.
“I told you just now, perfect.” He kissed you, your mouth gasping as you felt his fingers crawl lower down your spine; featherlight taps turning into full palming of your clothed bum. “Is that okay?” Yuno pulled back, eyes concerned when you’d began panting like you were deprived of air. His fingers tapped your butt, showing you what exactly he was asking about.
"Mmh, perfectly fine." Yuno laid his palm more boldly, giving the skin more pressure than before. "Though if you are to continue, we might as well go back to your bed now. Before I get so hot and bothered, I'll have no choice but to do the same to you."
"As much as I would love to do that, I can't skip tonight. My pride is on the line." Yuno sneered.
"I should probably just stay out and watch."
"Oh, no." He sing-song into your ear. "You'll be the secret treasure of my team.”
“Is that them?” You asked, running your eyes through bowling alleys and settling on the farthest one.
The first one was empty, the one next to it had a bunch of school kids on, the next one seemed to have a family and the farthest one you could see looked the most suitable.
A loud bunch of twenty somethings with all types of outfits presented, letting you know they all came from different backgrounds. Someone clearly from an office job, someone wearing a pair of joggers and a hoodie; both men and women.
It then struck you that this whole time you've imagined a bunch of buzz cut military dudes ogling over a girl their friend brought. You stared up at Yuno who'd given up contact with you to wave excitedly at his friends who'd partially waved back at him.
You had to admit once more to yourself that he looked utterly cute. For a supposed tough military guy he was sickening, even.
You didn’t expect an answer out of him anymore. “How do you know all of them, again?” You questioned, as you passed through the alleys.
"Mostly school. Some are friends of friends that eventually joined the group." Yuno glanced at you, and you nodded accepting that information. You might've also had a question next, but it didn't matter as a tall guy, who seemed twice Yuno's size jumped in his arms and definitely beat all the air out of his lungs at the abruptness of the motion. Weight, you were sure, also.
“Seokmin get off his back, God,” one of the two females chirped and you pursed your lips up in a sudden burst of awkwardness. Seven heads stared at you, while Yuno was trying to make his friend, Seokmin, let go of him.
You tried very hard to not give out your flawless hearing, eyes strained on the two males closest to you as someone from his friend group whispered who’s the girl? and the other replied with he said he’d bring a plus one, you didn’t read the chat?
“This fucker! Been ignoring my messages for five weeks.” Seokmin finally stepped back from Yuno, arm still around his shoulder; assumably to shake him every now and then in his hold, just like he was doing now. “I was beginning to believe he died on his special mission or what; then he’s suddenly up in the chat once the bowling night came about. You sneak.”
“Jae, we’re all happy you're back in the big city.” The dark-haired girl mirrored clearly everyone’s sentiments lightheartedly and your head whipped in his direction.
You just hoped no one thought you’d felt jealous or anything else.
It was his name.
Jae.
Jae what? There was definitely another half to it.
Jae-Yuno also immediately looked at you and despite your very new relationship, you could tell by the look in his eyes he was curious if you’d remembered the name he told you that night.
The one you carelessly forgot the moment you walked out of his apartment.
Despite a very good clue, you couldn’t remember it. Still.
You had to know now, though. It was clear Yuno wasn’t his go-to choice and everyone called him Jae____.
He’d looked at your eyes for a second longer and then just dropped your name to his friends with a little oh, by the way before that.
“And she’s your…?” The black-haired girl spoke once more and you’ve felt beyond curious how he’d explain what happened between you two to his friends.
“Acquaintance.” He said firmly, the tone of his voice asking for no more further digging about this from his friends.
You swallowed a smile.
Acquaintance it is, he was sickeningly right. And cute, again. Because you had a tiny bit of doubt about this question popping and his answer being quite revealing on the nature of your encounters. You liked the modesty of the answer.
“It’s so nice to meet you, everyone.” You smiled, feeling like a kid introduced to a new class. “Though I am terribly sorry in advance for my bowling skills. I’ve told Y-, Jae,” you corrected yourself and looked back at the man beside you whose eyes shined suddenly with a glint of mischief. “He was insisting I come, so please put the blame on him.”
Yuno shook his head with an eye roll and took a step closer to you to introduce his friends.
Seokmin, Mingyu, Dongmin were his school friends; Jihyo - the black-haired girl, was Mingyu’s college girlfriend before they figured they were better off as friends; Donghyuck and Jeno - the juniors he supervised during their mandatory military service and became close with; Johnny - his coffee mate he’d met when he was five on the playground, they grew up together and been close ever since. And then just Rosie. He didn't elaborate much about her, just gave you her name and she'd given you a little nod of her head to prove indeed she was her.
You looked at Yuno for a split second and realised he wasn’t planning to say anything else. Everyone moved around to begin the game, and you’ve listened to them decide on the team, Yuno, no, Jae chosen as the leader of a team within the second, same for Mingyu.
Yuno had a definite idea of who should be on his team and who shouldn't, and in all that fuss, it really only made you like him more, with how serious and protective he was about you being part of his team. Despite you letting him know that a) it's okay and b) you don't care much.
He must really like it between your legs, huh.
They’d ordered food and settled on the couches and the game started off by Mingyu’s team who’d shot a strike straight up on the first try and you’d gasped impressed, until Yuno did the exactly same and walked back to the couch you sat on with a satisfied grin on his lips.
He’d dropped himself next to you, probably closer than necessary and draped an arm over the backrest above your shoulders.
“Good moves, huh?” You teased in a whisper, uncomfortable in the presence of his friends’ stern eyes, and you were sure ears, to flirt with him to your heart’s content.
"I told you, didn't I?" He'd moved in even closer, pressing his thigh against yours and leaned in with his mouth to your ear. "So what's my name?" He let his tongue swipe against your ear shell and you'd shivered immediately, folding more into his side.
"Jae-?" You moved back to look him in the eyes; he'd nudged you to go on with a little shake of his head. "Jaebeom?"
"Wrong." He'd rolled his eyes and moved a bit away.
"You're not mad, are you?”
“No, that’s entertaining.” He smiled, letting the sincerity of his feelings linger on his lips a little longer.
“It’s your turn.” Donghyuck called out for you and you looked at the screen to prove to yourself that it was, indeed, your turn.
"Come, I'll help." Yuno stood in front of you in a blink and walked out to get the ball for you. "You know how to hold the ball, do you?"
"That I do, don't worry." You shook him off with more confidence than you actually had.
"Okay, shoot your shot, I'll see the technique first and will tell you how to improve the next turn." He'd folded his arms, turning full coach mode on to watch you score points, or fail. More likely.
You bent your back, taking a couple of steps back and as you tried to aim, you’d straightened your back back up and turned to Yuno.
“Don’t stare like you’re going to scold me if I miss.”
“Oh he will.” Mingyu clearly eavesdropped, giggling from his alley.
Yuno mumbled a dude, shut up and stepped closer to you.
“Nevermind what I said, I’ll help you now too.”
“Am I that bad?” You cackled.
“No, it’s just your posture.” He sighed like he was an actual coach and squatted first, raising to his feet and bending every limb of his in a perfect bowling position, showing you the proper posture to do it. “You won’t be able to let the ball slide when your knees aren’t bent. You need to sit down as you let the ball go.” You’d tried to do the same as him, sincerely, but under the stern stares of his best friends the realisation hit you like a wave and you’d felt awkward for ruining their pro-bowling club night.
Yuno watched you try to do it his way once and he’d tolerated it no more, standing behind you and forcing your body to move the way he needed it to in order for you to score much needed points.
It worked, kinda, you were able to score five points and you were beyond happy, high-fiving Jae’s open palm who’d been clearly suppressing his real thoughts on the throw.
For the next five rounds your turns went with Jae’s hips pressed into yours and you weren’t sure anymore it was his attempts to improve your game or to make you horny.
“Are you making it sexual or is it just me?” You questioned, giving him a high five as you’d managed to score nine points with his help, of course. He’d wrapped his fingers around yours for a second too long.
“Am I?” He played with his brows and moved his attention to his own turn.
You sighed, getting on the couch next to the other two women in this circle and looked over at Yuno fiercely talking with a couple of guys from the opposite team; you've turned your gaze at the girls and were met with two sets of eyes blinking at you.
"So you two are a thing?" Rosie clearly was the braver one to ask the pressing question. Jihyo slapped her arm, but all you could muster was a chuckle. "Jae never brought a girl before; you two have been together for a while?" She continued and you had to really put in effort to make your mouth work.
“No, like he said - we’re acquaintances. He randomly invited me here and I said yes.”
“How do you know each other? You’re not from the military, are you?” Jihyo smiled; for some reason her darker locks made you like her more than her friend.
“I am not. I’m a lawyer.”
"Do you win many cases?" Jihyo seemed to be excited.
"I don't have that much experience yet to lead the case all by myself. I'm an associate, but next year I'm expected to lead."
"Wow, it must be very hard. I'm a vocal coach, not much of stress, except for when the students can't hit a note.”
"And you, Rosie, what do you do for a living?" You smiled, curious.
"Oh, my turn!" She jumped up from the couch and left with no further comment.
"She's coming from wealth; that's a sensitive subject for her. She doesn't have a job in a sense we all do. She's not trying to be mean.”
“It’s okay.” You shook her off, not able to shake off the question. “How do you all know her, then?”
“He didn’t explain it to you, did he?”
“No. Explain what?”
“We all have wealthy families, him included. Some more, some less. Rosie is the excessive type, Seokmin is on the lesser side, but he still grew up in Apgujeong, went to the same school as us,” you wanted to ask what she meant by that. “I went there also; we just never knew each other before university,” you nodded. “She and Dongmin studied in the US, had a thing because they were the only Seoul-born kids on campus that year, once they got back it’s like they never fucked.”
“Wow.”
"Yeah, years ago they were on the summer break back home and he brought her to our gathering, that's how we met Rosie." You nodded, acknowledging the story. "I think he's calling you." Jihyo gestured with her nose behind you, and you'd turned around to see the man that brought you here calling you with his finger.
“Already gossiping about me?”
“No, not about you.” You grabbed the ball from his hands and stood in front of the lane. Yuno tried to get behind and you’d caught him just in time to make him stop. “No, please let me do it myself this once.”
“Sure.” He smiled and stepped back.
You'd gathered all your new knowledge and stepped back, bending your legs at a perfect angle and extending your arms at the perfect time.
The ball went right in the middle and you watched it, anticipating.
Strike.
It was a fucking strike.
Before you could realise it, turn around and exclaim in victory; Yuno had turned you around with his hand and grabbed your waist, flushing you against him and lifting you off the ground. His palm ran lower and patted your butt, giving it a couple of squeezes along the way. He'd kissed your cheek and pulled back.
"Good job, baby, now we're going to win this.”
You literally dropped dead in the seat of his car, exhausted, overwhelmed, and everything above and beyond that after hours of bowling. You'd managed to secure Yuno's strike of wins by a point; he was still the champion, and he was too buzzing and happy to share the same sentiment of tiredness as you.
"I'm sorry we didn't leave earlier." Jae pouted at you on the first traffic light on your way. "I'm going to drive you to your apartment. With no expectations." He'd glanced at you and at the clock.
Understanding must also go on the list of his good traits.
"You can stay." You reached out a hand to pat his cheek.
"Just for sleeping, you need to go to work tomorrow.”
“Okay.” You giggled. “Just to sleep.”
You let your fingers caress his jaw bone. “Why did you say I was an acquaintance?”
“We haven’t talked about how I should introduce you to my friends, and we haven’t discussed us at all.” Us, your soul echoed. “I didn’t want to overwhelm you. I’m sorry if I offended you.”
“No, it’s actually a perfect description of us and also a perfect explanation.” You let your palm drop from his jaw onto the shoulder and you ran it lower onto his bicep to give it a tiny squeeze. “Can I ask more questions?”
“Of course.”
“You didn’t tell me how you know Rosie?”
“I know. I couldn’t say it in front of her. We’re not that much of friends, and she’s sensitive in all the wrong places and about wrong things, I’m sorry for judging her. She doesn’t like me because I accidentally ruined her fling with one of my military colleagues by exposing her lie.”
“Really?”
"Yes, she lied about her life; I can't even remember now what it was, but I accidentally said it wasn't true because he asked and wanted to make a surprise. She's been sour ever since. Not like we've been friends ever before.”
“Hm.”
“What is it?”
"I feel like it's quite the opposite." You chewed on your lower lip and closed your eyes, too tired to watch the lights pass. "It almost felt like she was a bit into you."
"She was into Dongmin, then she was into Seokmin and maybe it's me, this me, I'm not sure. She likes to write poems so if it helps her creative flow or whatever, it can be me.” Yuno shook his head like he was barely interested, focusing on more on the turn left.
"Jaewoo." Yuno even turned his head at you, brows furrowed. So it wasn't it. "Jaemin?" It took him a second to figure out what you were doing and burst into a fit of laughter.
"Jaehee?" You came up with one more option a few moments later.
"It's honestly getting kind of painful." He chuckled in response.
“Jaejoon?” You scratched your temple as Yuno parked his car in front of your building.
“No.”
“Jaesok?” You questioned in the elevator.
“Oh, drop it, I like you calling me Yuno.”
“But I want to know,” you whined once more, “Jaehyun.” You let your last option out and the way his eyes fluttered not in annoyance but in astonishment for the slightest second before he’d rolled them again, let you know all you needed to.
You fisted his shirt and pressed him into the elevator wall, getting on your tiptoes.
“Jaehyun.” You whispered, mouth pressing into the side of his jaw. “Jaehyun.” You almost gasped against his skin.
There it was, his name; now you remembered it for sure, because you could feel yet again the beads of sweat running down your back as he’d stuffed himself inside of you, your mouth not having a rest for a second, constantly moaning those syllables off your lips.
Jaehyun.
You'd repeated his name once more, and somehow you were carried to your apartment door in his arms. He'd gone straight to bed; dropping you there and almost ripping everything he had on off his body, your arms doing the same with your garments, eyes focusing on every part of him.
Before he’d thrown his jeans away from his hold, he reached into the back pocket to retrieve a foil pack. “I see your expectations were met.” You chuckled, he was such a bluffer.
"I had none; it was just lost in here, and I found it by a chance." He'd smirked, spreading your legs and pulling your underwear off.
"Lucky coincidences, right, Jaehyun?" You teased, trying to get his attention, but his gaze glued to your now exposed folds, palm running to feel how ready you were to take him.
He’d rubbed you a couple of times and let you put the condom onto his leaking tip. He’d made you both burst so quickly and so sharply, you fell lifeless onto the mattress and opened your eyes next when the sun was already slipping through the curtains.
-
“So, which one do you want me to call you? Which one do you like better?”
“Both sound amazing as moans off your pretty lips, baby.” He flirted more confidently than he’d done before; you loved pinpointing him getting more comfortable around you in small gestures or words he dropped unknowingly for his own self.
He rolled off the bed and began gathering the clothes he carelessly threw around your room last night.
"Jaehyun?" You called out, just curious about his reaction to his name and he'd given you enough; twirling on his feet, looking at you with his soft eyes, expecting continuation out of your lips next.
"You have to go to work, don't you?" He raised a brow, putting the hoodie over his head.
"Mmmh, I am, and you're going for a run as soon as you're back home?"
"Yes." His fingers smoothed the material down his arms.
"When can I see you next?"
"After work, I think. I could pick you up, or if you need some alone time I could come by later. Anything works for me, I'm free.”
“Yuno?” You let his name roll off your lips once more; it was like an addiction. Seeing his eyes raise up and connect with yours.
“You’re just calling my name, aren’t you?” He walked back to the bed and let his fingers squeeze the skin above your knee. “Which one do you like better?”
He let his palm trail up your thigh and you had to catch it before your stomach twisted with want.
"Both." Jaehyun entwined his fingers with yours; he'd never done it before like that, and you felt a flutter in your chest. He'd knelt before the bed and made your hand rest on his shoulder, taking the other in his hold instead. "When will you tell me how you got two names?”
“When you’re back from work?”
“Deal.” You leaned in, and he’d made a soft motion of his nose against yours.
“I like you more every next day I see you.” He’d admitted in a half whisper and pressed his mouth chastely to yours.
“I like you too.” You smiled, pressing your lips into his cheek. “Yuno, or Jaehyun, it doesn’t even matter. You’re right.”
"My family and colleagues call me Yuno, colleagues because that's what's written in papers and family because my grandma gave me the name. Jaehyun is also the name my family gave me, but I've changed it because you can't write it in Hanja. Friends mainly call me Jaehyun because they've known me to be Jaehyun since we were kids.” He opted to explain it to you now and you appreciated his openness.
“So the change’s been quite recent?”
“Middle school.” You nodded, understanding.
Your phone buzzed and you saw the clock on the screen and your next questions regarding his name fell out of your brain.
You were going to be late for work, shit.
“Aah, I have to get up.” You rolled your eyes and pulled Jaehyun closer to you. He’d squeezed you in his hold, mouth pressing into your cheek and moved back, allowing for you to get up.
“I also need to go, but I’ll see you later. Just let me know when.”
“Mmh. Bye?”
“Bye.” He nodded and blew you a kiss.
You’ve never found it harder to find any will to go to work within your system than in the past week.
It’s been hell willingly leaving Jaehyun for an entirety of eight to nine hours to go and act like you cared for anything that was happening at work, when all that’s been occupying your brain ever since he found you was him.
The thoughts turned whole consuming the more time you’ve spent with him, on him, under him. Even now, when you were supposed to work you were texting Jaehyun about your plans for tomorrow.
Your eyes set on the calendar counting down the days you had left before it was his time to return to the military base. The time was passing by too quickly. How were you down already to 5 days? How has it been only nine since you met him?
It felt like an eternity. It felt like he has always been around. Kissing you, lulling you to sleep, taking strolls in the park with you, going out with his friends. It’s been nine days and imagining what will happen in another five made you feel so hollow. He was so right for you. He was your person, you were sure.
No one could connect like that and get along on literally every level there is in such a short period of time.
You couldn’t imagine not having him around. Couldn’t imagine only calling him on weekdays, kissing his mouth on weekends. It was stupid.
It felt surreal. Who came up with this stupid rule?
Who send him all the way up to the north, when he belonged here, in the city, glued to your side. Be your boyfriend.
“Want to go for lunch now?” Lawyer Kim caught your attention.
“Ugh, yes. Yes. Sure, let’s go.” You nodded urgently and grabbed your wallet.
“Let me at least take over from here. You’ll have to drive yourself all the way back to the city.” You gave him a short glance. “Please.”
“Okay, okay. You can drive.” You agreed, with much dramatic exasperation in your voice at his persistence.
You pulled the car over on a curb, turning the emergency lights on in case someone was going down the same road and decided to ram your car. Jaehyun immediately undid his seatbelt and reached for his door, but you’ve fumbled a little with your moves; palm covering his knee when you could see him determined to take the wheel.
“Wait.” You hastily told him, making the man next to you pause all his actions.
You undid your own seatbelt in a slow manner and turned to him, concern washing over his face in a second.
You knew he was about to change that facial expression in a whiplash. You'd moved your seat back a little and in one motion moved your leg up over to Jaehyun's thigh. In three more not that gracious motions of your body you'd ended up on his lap, a puff of air the only sound accompanying the moment.
You moved your fingers over to his nape, running them through Jaehyun’s hair and finally rested your forehead against his.
“I think I’m really going to miss your presence this week.”
"I will too. I am going to really miss seeing you whenever I feel like it. These two weeks we had, they were really special for me, baby." Jaehyun leaned more, letting your noses touch. His palms moved up your thighs onto your waist, and you slid a bit further up his legs to get your torso's closer.
"I have a condom in the pocket of my jacket, because I want you to use it just this once before you have to go." You admitted shamelessly, trailing Jaehyun's mouth with yours. He'd immediately reached for both sides of you, retrieving it from the right one.
"I don't know if this is weird; we've only been doing this for two weeks. But I hope you would want to be my girlfriend, because I'm willing to be exclusive and devoted to you.”
“Because I offered you a quickie?” You chuckled, instead of giving him a proper answer.
"Because you proved to me that when there's the right person everything is clicking within a day." Jaehyun took your head in his hand and you happily let him guide your lips to his; melting into the kiss as you put more body weight against him.
"I want only you, exclusively, too." You let him know and he smiled happily; that true sincere smile that made his dimples pop, and pressed his mouth into yours once more. You had to push him back once more. "Now, boyfriend, do you want to use this rubber or not?”
“I do.” He admitted, arms snuggling onto your waist, to lift your clothes up your stomach. He tried to be sweet even as you were crumpled in the car, placing kisses and caressing your body, but soon enough he’d figured his wishes were hard to realise, so you’d both pulled your jeans and uniform pants down and quickly helped him roll the condom down his length.
It wasn't a goodbye sex in its exact meaning, but it also was; thus, it felt like every feeling was multiplied by a hundred. It felt like he was reaching deeper than before; your walls were swallowing him tighter than before. Jaehyun's mouth running against your skin felt hotter than before.
Your thighs were on fire, he’d tried helping you by thrusting from under you, but the car was too small and too uncomfortable for you to let him do what he wanted. He’d ended up grabbing your thighs and guiding you down along his length, until he quickly enough felt like he’d reached his high, and rubbed your clit until you could join him.
“Oh god. Never again.” Jaehyun chuckled right into your ear, while you panted against his chest in a post-orgasm bliss. “I like to be able to reach all of you when I’m making love to you. No more car sex.”
“You’re too cute.” You caressed his cheek, pecking Jaehyun’s lips. “But I do agree, this was horrible. Though, an experience.”
“I never had sex in a car before.”
“Me neither.” You chuckled.
He’d helped you put all your clothes back on and with a little rumble paid his attention to the fact he’s going to be late and get told off. You’d quickly let him leave his seat to drive to your destination.
"You have to be in the city before eight PM to catch me home." You leaned into your phone, staring at your boyfriend through the screen. He did the same, eyes running over his phone.
"I'll be in the city before midday, baby." You beamed at the promise; he'd sealed it once more for your heart to be content. You were constantly paranoid about not having enough time together before he'll have to leave once more. "Why are you half naked, by the way?”
"I'm getting dressed for work." You informed him, trying on a blouse that was supposed to give professionalism.
"You're on lawyer duty this morning?" He smiled at the phone and you leaned in once more to nod. "Can I protest?"
"Why?" You chuckled.
“Too much cleavage, I think everyone will be distracted.”
"Perhaps, someone's jealous?" You teased.
"Mmmh, I am. Jealous of tomorrow, me who's going to bury his face in all this." He'd flirted and moved his attention somewhere else; losing all the emotion from his face at once.
"What is it?”
“I have to go, but I’ll see you very soon and in person.” you sent a million flying kisses into the camera before he’d cut the call and you focused back on getting ready.
“Boss, isn’t that the guy that came here a couple of times with you?” You barely heard the question, focused on recounting the gin bottles once more as the beats of Akon’s Smack that took your mind elsewhere. Woo repeated his question directly into your ear canal and you had to wipe it from his spit midst turning around; brows furrowed and confused.
It was one AM, you told Jaehyun to sleep because he was up since six, and he even gave in and messaged you goodnight when you promised to wake him up once you’re back.
But he was right there, in front of you, eyes smiling as well as his lips, while looking at you.
“Jae? What are you doing here?” You leaned in over the bar, when he’d done the same on the other side of it.
He was taken of the opportunity to answer as two people wrapped his shoulders to lean over the bar with him. You’ve recognised Mingyu and Rosie by his side, your eyes involuntarily sliding down where her fingers gripped his forearm.
He’d lowered his gaze there also and made a small motion to free himself, but she’d just readjusted her hold.
“What do you want to order, Jae?” She chirped, oblivious to the person behind the bar.
“Wait.” Mingyu looked you dead in the eyes and didn’t take a second to recognise you. “You’re a bartender?!”
“That’s my manager.” Woo came in, probably assuming these people wanted to place an order; probably to eavesdrop on gossip.
“Ooof, is that courtesy of this young man?” Mingyu chuckled, patting Jaehyun and gestured over at his chest and neck, making four sets of eyes, yours on top ogle over your cleavage.
“Why would you stare at my girlfriend’s chest?” Jaehyun furrowed his brow, punching Mingyu’s shoulder like he was upset. He’d smirked right after at his friend and the other guy patted your boyfriend’s shoulder once more.
Jaehyun had left a few marks there five minutes into your meeting today, and you've put on much concealer over your skin to cover it in order not to be suffocated in a turtle neck at a club. It clearly didn’t help, huh.
"Your girlfriend?" That bit of information made Rosie scandalised; also made her let go of his arm so it was a win for you.
"How would I know that if you don't talk shit about your life?" Mingyu shot back with a mock accusation and Jaehyun ran his eyes into his head.
"Can you give us a moment?" Jaehyun looked at his friends and Mingyu dragged Rosie away in a second. "Hi baby.”
“What are you doing here?” You’d said in unison; Jaehyun reached a hand to hold your fingers over the bar. “You messaged goodnight, I thought it meant you were sleeping.” You softened and got on your very tippy toes to be closer to his face.
“I was, but then I thought of a question. Needed to ask it immediately.”
“So you gathered all your friends to accompany you here for a question?” Jaehyun shifted his weight and his palm landed on your jaw, caressing with his fingers.
“I find it impossible to be apart from you when we’re in the same city, baby. You’re not mad, are you?” He moved his neck back a little to stare deeply into your eyes. Of course, you weren’t mad. For all you knew, the feeling was reciprocated. You really wished to be with him the whole time, especially when it was this limited. You’d even considered not going to work. At all.
He’d pulled your face in closer, and the distant sound of Woo’s voice was the only reason you were able to find strength and put a hand on his shoulder.
“I can’t do this when I’m on the clock. I ask this of my staff and can’t go against my own set of rules.” You gasped out.
“Okay. Can you finish early tonight? My friends really want to party with you.”
“Only your friends?”
"You know partying is not what I want to do with you at all, sweetheart." You bit into your lower lip, letting your noses touch. You'd no more self-control to refrain from kissing him any longer when he was so close and so seducing just by his existence.
"Okay, give me another thirty minutes and I'm all yours." You let your palm rest over Jaehyun's cheek; mouth pressing into the dimple on his cheek.
“Like you’re not now?” You scrunched your nose up and he’d let you go, not taking it any further. “I’ll be over here, waiting.” He’d gestured at the bar stool next to him and sat down on it.
“Here? What about your friends?”
“These two gossipers surely already told the news to the rest of the group and if I go there now, I’ll be dead by the time you’re done.” He bit onto his cheek, holding in a smile, head shaking in a thought.
"You should've told them we were acquaintances if that's what you were comfortable with." You shrugged a little, trying to play indifference, when you thought how his friends told you how they were rich kids; by your own conclusion, they were probably pretentious enough over their friend's choice and he could be faltering sharing it, even though Jaehyun was part of the group too and didn't seem one bit like it."They didn't know about us because it's none of their fucking business and because we've not been together properly, even for a week. I wanted to talk about what you're comfortable with before telling them anything." You nodded and bit into the corner of your lip feeling immediately stupid for whatever you thought was the reason a moment ago.
You didn’t say anything back. You leaned over the bar and pecked his mouth before he’d realised what you were doing and moved back to the task you had before he came over. Jaehyun sitting obediently on the bar stool the whole time.
You'd returned from the back room forty minutes later, clocked out and changed into the emergency clothes you had in here for instance, just like this, and this time went straight to Jaehyun, who sat at the bar still, a drink in his hand. He clearly didn't see your approach because he'd looked startled as you flirted with him before he worked out it was you.
“Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again and try to impress you?” You flirted with the stupidest line you could come up with.
“Did you swap clothes with someone?” Jaehyun looked at you astonished, a little; arm immediately sneaking over your lower back to pull you in between his legs. “Love the skirt.” He’d grabbed onto your bare thigh way higher up than you would’ve expected him to, keeping in mind the skirt was extra short and he’d still managed to surprise you.
"I had a spare fit in case someone ever wanted me to quit early, you know."
"I fear you're quitting early every week from now on." Jaehyun's other arm grabbed your waist, and you pushed him back.
You’d raised your palm up and Woo scooted closer in an instance.
“I’ve clocked out, but I’ll be here for a little while if anything is needed.” He’d nodded, not even trying to focus his gaze on you, watching Jaehyun’s lips trail kisses up and down your neck instead.
"I do kindly remind you of the no fucking in the backroom rule, boss. Clocked in or not," he'd given you both a brow and you wanted to gasp scandalised, but Jaehyun took over with a hearty laugh and you'd given in chuckling yourself. "Have a great time though. I'll even consider giving the first set of your drinks on the house.”
“How’d he know this is exactly what I’ve been wanting ever since I came in here.” Jaehyun turned you around in his arms and finally leaned in, pressing his face against your cheek.
"You weren't exactly trying to keep your intentions a secret." You smiled, and forced his face away, to finally kiss him.
You've gone through haste makeouts in the morning. An absolute mess of feelings and pure physical need for release has guided the first six hours of your meeting and now you've slowed down to just holding each other, being next to each other. Enjoying the press of his lips against yours, palm pressing into the small of your back.
You've only ever felt that content with your own self, never with someone else. Not with someone you've known for a couple of weeks. Never with someone so open about his own feelings, so certain of what he wanted. Certain that he wanted you.
“What was the question? Or was there none?” You let your palms press into his thighs, mouths pulling apart to take a few proper breaths in.
“No, there was. Must you work at the club at night? Are you really needed here like that?”
"No," you couldn't suppress a laugh. "There's an actual office rented with more staff working there during daytime; I just prefer it this way. I do all the administrative tasks and etc. in my office, simply because I can. Why?”
“Was just curious, there’s nothing to it.” Jaehyun chuckled and pulled you back in by your chin. “Glad to know you’re not just forced to work at night.”
“Are we not going to go to your besties?”
“Right. We are.” Jaehyun let an exasperated sigh out and stood up, leading you to his friend group.
"You know, I still can drive you back this time too." You caressed his clothed chest, unable to part yourself from his body.
"You don't have to. I'll take the bus; you won't have to spend half of your day on the road." The tips of his fingers tickled your cheek and you raised your eyes up to look at his. Weird wave of realisation and literal grief washed over you.
You were down to another five days before you could touch his shoulder like that again.
“You’re right, the bus is the right decision.”
“Mmh.” Jaehyun pecked the corner of your mouth.
“But we’ll have a little more time together if I go with you.” You let your arm slide up his chest and around his neck. Jaehyun looked at you pleadingly, knowing he’d worry more once you’re left to drive back home in the darkness. “No, you are right, I should stay here and get ready for work.”
“I will miss you.” He whispered, mouth immediately latching onto yours.
You clutched onto his shoulder, suddenly sinking into your own feelings that were not letting you go of him. You weren’t ready; you weren’t able to accept that someone else was deciding when you were allowed to see him. He was your boyfriend, but he wasn’t all yours.
“I can’t wait for your very last day there. I can’t wait for the day you’ll always be in the city.” You tucked yourself under his arm, face peppering kisses onto his neck.
“Me too, baby.” Jaehyun pecked the crown of your head. “I have to go now, though. See you Saturday, right?” You nodded, letting his lips trail every bit of yours for the last time for today. “I’ll be here before midday and we’ll go out for a brunch. We’ll do everything you want us to do, and then I’ll drive you to work and wait for your return to kiss your pretty mouth until you’re asleep. Deal?”
“Deal.” You once more trailed the outline of his face with your finger and loosened your grip.
Jaehyun moved his arm away too, and with one more look at your face exited the apartment.
You’d schemed all week, asking questions like what time he’s going to leave the base, what time he’ll be at the bus station, what time is his bus, what time he thinks he’ll arrive, all two fish out information and not seem suspicious. Jaehyun took it for your eagerness to see him - which it undoubtedly was, but you’ve also been gathering information to surprise him.
It wasn’t hard to spot him in a group of military men even if you weren’t seeing his face this far from you. He was taller, with glasses over his nose, though it might not be that much of a distinctive trait in his friend group, and had something to his step that even that made him look hot and seducing. You probably needed a CT scan of your brain.
You let the group walk much closer, finally working out features of your boyfriend not in your memory but with your own eyes; they’d walked all submerged in conversation and not payed attention to a single thing around them.
You’ve not expected him to see you even as you stood up not far away from where they were walking simply because he wasn’t expecting you there.
“Jeong Yuno.” You called out and he’d made a one-eighty so swiftly, eyes landing on you without a single struggle to find you. “Hi.”
He’d scooped you in a hug the very next moment. “Oh my god, baby. What are you doing here?” He’d taken a look at you and furrowed his brow. “You’ve not driven here, have you?”
“No, came here on a bus.”
“Did something happen?” You shook your head no and took his face in your hands.
“I missed you so much, Jae. I couldn’t wait until midday. I wanted to see you as soon as possible even if it means I had to go all the way down here.” You pulled him in and he’d kissed you with no thought of withholding his feelings. His palms trailed your waist and soon enough lowered down your thighs, pushing your core against his.
“Ugh, Jeong.” One of the man called and he’d pulled back, so displeased he was interrupted.
“We’re coming, a minute.” You pulled onto his sleeve at the certainty in his voice. “Mmh?”
“Actually, I found a very cute hotel nearby and even booked a room there.” You chewed onto your lip and fluttered your eyelashes at him. “For two people, for tonight.”
He’d grabbed your neck and pressed your mouth into his all before you could read the face expression he had. “Give me a second.”
You watched him walk away from you to explain to his friends how he wasn’t going back to the city tonight and even endured their glances with a little wave of your fingers as they all collectively stared at you after he’d said something clearly mentioning you.
“So, where is it?” Jaehyun asked upon his return to you.
“Wait,” you pulled onto his wrist. “Before we go there, you have to promise me we’ll go out for dinner. We won’t procrastinate in bed all day.”
“Pinky promise.” Jaehyun took your fingers in his and then forced your lips to meet once more in a kiss. “Wait, but what about the club for tonight?”
“Left Woo to run it.” Jae nodded like he cared, and you walked to the hotel with him, knowing damn well he was not keeping that pinky promise.
“If you said it was supposed to be for six months and we met when you’ve already served two of them, which is twenty four weeks minus eight” you folded Jaehyun’s fingers instead of yours for counting. “You’ve come back once, I’ve been here four times already-.” You folded more fingers. “It means eleven more weeks, and then I can wake up with you in a bed whenever I feel like it?” You moved on your elbows to Jaehyun’s face.
“That is, if everything continues as it is. Near the border, I mean.”
“Of course, it will.” You chuckled at his silliness and pressed your mouth into his. “I can’t wait to have you more than just for dinner at the cafe and this hotel room.”
“That can be achieved if you’ll just let me come back to Seoul. We could go to so many places there.”
“I don’t want you to. It’s a long road and you have to go back and forth, and-.”
“But that is exactly what you’re doing for me, isn’t it?” He’d stopped you, sitting up with his back against the headboard.
Jaehyun deliberately pulled you from his chest and made you sit up, thighs over his. He’d taken your palms in his and the concentration and slight worry over his face made you more worried than he was. You’ve squeezed his fingers between yours to give him courage, and Jaehyun finally focused his gaze on your eyes.
“I love you.” your heart immediately thumped in your head, he’d looked even more worried as you graced him with silence, but you couldn’t undo the freezing. Your whole body suddenly felt like it was made of ice that burned, if that made any sense at all. You were frozen, but also terribly on fire, heart pumping blood like it was its last day alive.
Was he sure? Wasn't it too soon? Is he even aware of what this confession is doing to your heart, mind, body, and soul?
"It's okay if you're not ready to say it back, no pre-." He must've taken your astonishment the wrong way, huh.
“No.” You quickly rearranged your thoughts, unclasping his hold on your fingers and leaning into him, palms landing on his soft, fuzzy cheeks. “I love you, Jaehyun.” He’d smiled, relieved and perked his lips up for a peck you happily granted him. His arms locked around your head pulling you in closer, legs between his legs and you could tell he was feeling himself as if the weight of the world fell off his shoulder.
You thought something was off at work when you’ve talked to him today, but it seems like the issue was the nerves. He was still so undeniably cute. Dear Lord.
“I think I loved you before you asked me to be your girlfriend. When on your vacation you took me to work and picked me up, when you bought me pastries on your morning runs, when you took me bowling I felt like I was getting deeper into you every time we were together. I probably fell for you when you came to the club and said you came here for me first thing you were able to be back in the city.”
“I love you.” He smiled, relieved you were able to reciprocate. Maybe, a little surprised at the fact he was accepted and understood. “Been wanting to tell you for weeks.”
“I love you.” You smiled mischievously, kissing his shoulder. “I love you.” Your mouth pressed into his jawline and Jaehyun wrapped an arm around your shoulder. “I love you.” You kissed his cheek and moved before his mouth.
“Once I’m back to the city, you’ll have to move half of your staff to my place, because there’s no way you’re staying far from me.” You hugged his neck, excited at the mere mention of him living in the same city as you.
You’ve been contemplating for the past three weeks - flowers or no flowers? Should you bring a cake or just take him home and do all the celebratory events you’ve prepared there.
You’d stared at the watch on your wrist for the nth time in the last ten minutes and finally figured it was time to come out of the car to greet him, taking a small flower bouquet from the passenger seat with you.
You'd taken just two steps from the car, when you'd seen Yuno's silhouette exit the gates and took off like a mad woman in his direction.
People watching you cross the parking lot like that had a good reason to think you were running away from a killer.
“Baby.” You cried out, emotions overflowing in your system. Before you knew it, before you could ever reach him, happy tears streamed down your face.
Jaehyun was coming back to the city and he was coming back for good.
You choked on a sob, finally jumping into his arms. Jaehyun took you in his hold, squeezing the life out of you with his hug. He'd lifted you off the ground and your arms found their place over his neck, the bouquet in your hold brushing the back of Jaehyun's head.
You gave each other a couple of long looks, like you haven’t seen each other in ten years and locked lips in a kiss.
You were so relieved, in such bliss, you’ve let your kiss portray exactly that.
You were finally able to let go of that constant fear at the back of your mind - what if something happens? What if anything at all happens and you’re never seeing him again?
You’d choked even more on the thought and grabbed his face with your fingers like he’d returned from literal war.
"I'm so happy you don’t have to go back here again." you mumbled, lips setting on his jaw. Jaehyun’s fingers somehow reached your clothed inner thigh and caressed it while holding you in the air.
You felt like kissing his face and neck right then and there, unable to contain your excitement a minute, much less take it home.
Jaehyun slid his tongue against your lips and you've granted him access into your mouth, letting a whine surpass your lips. Jaehyun smiled, his arm dangerously teasing your inner thigh.
"See you Monday, Jeong. Don't be late and don't overwork yourself on the weekend, huh." Some guy commented through a chuckle, and you pulled back.
Eyes stern in a second.
"What did he mean?” You questioned, non-accusatory, yet. Maybe you’ve gotten it wrong.
"It's nothing, baby.” Jaehyun shook his head, trying to kiss you once more.
"What does he mean about the Monday?" You pulled back and Jaehyun let you back on the ground.
Right this moment you could tell by his eyes he has to be back here Monday, it’s just that you were still in the midst of not accepting the reality.
Or the lie, or the fact he’d kept it away from you all of this time and made you excited like a stupid fool over nothing.
"Why did you lie?” You let the disappointment out on the surface.
"I didn’t, baby.” He pleaded, but it didn’t really reach your heart. It was thumping in your head once more. Absolutely tearing apart your bodily system with borderline betrayal. This was betrayal, right?
“Liar." You spat, hurt. Suddenly, it wasn’t the happy tears that streamed down your face.
"I didn't know until five minutes ago. I didn't have the time to tell you. I received the command just now." Jaehyun still tried to pull you back in, but it was useless. You were suffocated out in the fresh air; under his touch, you were set to immediate death. Of pain and disappointment.
"Why didn't you say no?" It was such a stupid question; you knew he couldn't. But you had to ask.
"I can't. I literally can't." Jaehyun looked at you like you were insane. Maybe you were, for believing what he told you. For letting him lead you on with the promise.
“You're lying again?" You cried.
"No, of course not. I'm a man of duty, wherever it calls - I follow. That's why the commander decides, and I just do what I'm told.” Jaehyun tried to showcase his military voice to you, but you weren’t impressed one bit by it.
"No." You cried and stepped back.
"Baby, please." Jaehyun pleaded, understanding of your reaction, but also hurt and worried. You could see that, but you also knew it was always necessary to put yourself first. You couldn't feel pity at this moment for him, for the person who didn't even find it important to tell you about his plans. Even though you thought you were important; even though you thought you were loved.
"Please what?" You stepped back and couldn't understand why did you even decide on bringing the flowers.
"I love you." Jaehyun went for the low blow, it seemed.
"Do you even? Maybe it's just convenient to have someone that's ready to spend half of their weekend on the road for a fuck?" You decided to go for one too.
"Stop, saying hurtful things won’t make it better. You know I love you and I always show it to you." Jaehyun tried to touch you once more.
"No, don’t touch me. I-I can’t." You wiped your nose. "I'm going back home."
"I'll drive."
"Whatever." You shook your head, running back to the car without him. You couldn't imagine yourself driving for two hours straight; in the back of your head, you were glad he offered. You trailed to the passenger seat and threw the bouquet to the backseat, fastening your seatbelt afterward.
Jaehyun followed not long after, quietly leaving his belongings in the seat behind him and starting the engine. You pressed yourself against the door, unable to feel fine while having him this close. Knowing it's once more only for less than two days. Tomorrow he'll have to go back to be in time for his 6 AM Monday weekly kick-off.
Your eyes caught glimpses of his fingers over the screen, connecting his phone and searching for your shared playlist in his profile.
You felt your palms turn into fists at the desperation and powerlessness you had in this situation. You had no capability to change the situation. You had to obey; to be part of his world, you had to be as obedient as he was.
Follow the rules Jaehyun was set to follow. You didn’t want to, you couldn’t.
You could not do this any longer.
You couldn't accept that some man in a uniform decided how your relationship is going to go. When you can see the man you love, and when you're not.
The inner turmoil was suffocating you; you felt your breath get even more uneven than before. Jaehyun couldn't keep his distance from you anymore; he took your hand, kissing the back of your palm.
"Baby, please. Don't cry." You tried to pull your hand out of his hold. "I love you more than anyone in this world. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. See you on my deathbed, grey and with a bunch of our grandchildren hugging your shoulders." Jaehyun's lips peppered kisses over your palm. "I swear to God none of this is intentional. I want to spend all of my time with you and I am not allowed to. They need me there. I have to obey. If I could’ve, I would've been back in the city after our first meeting.” Jaehyun pressed his lips against your palm, talking into your skin, not forgetting to leave a few kisses as he finished his sentence. “Thank you for the flowers, by the way. No one ever gave me flowers.” He’d kissed your palm once more as a thank you.
Your heart melted, just a little.
You couldn't make yourself pull your hand out of his hold, let him know it was hurting you more than what he must've imagined it would.
You should've said something to him about how much he meant for you. How much you've come to love him, those weeks you were apart yet still together. You couldn’t stand being ruled by a man you’ve never seen in your life, but more than that you’ve came to realisation you couldn’t imagine separating yourself from the guy, whose feelings were not considered in the decision making process.
You couldn't imagine not taking your weekend trips all the way up to the north to see him, live in your little bubble for this short period of time. Enjoy his love, care, and thoughtfulness.
"How long for?" You made a sound for the first time in an hour, and it must've startled Jaehyun so much his hand made the wheel turn left a bit; he even had to let go of your fingers that he held on to patiently and straighten the car in its lane, only to recollect your digits between his in a moment.
"Mmh?" He asked confused, eyes darting between the road and you.
You sounded too hoarse the first time and decided to repeat the question. "How long do I have to wait for you again?"
Jaehyun looked at you, clearly scared to give you the real answer. You bit your tongue, giving a short caress to his fingers holding yours.
"A year."
You squeezed your eyes to not burst into tears right in the middle of the driveway.
Another whole fucking year. You were going to go insane.
It's been officially eighteen hours since you last left Jaehyun’s bed for more than three minutes. He'd left you there alone and miserable for at least an hour to go on his stupid run, even though you were obviously grieving. He'd also left you for another fifteen minutes to go pick up your burger order, but other than that he'd obeyed to your wish to stay there.
It was probably simple for him to obey to someone else's wishes, wasn't it?
You haven't talked much; you could tell he was getting more concerned by the minute because the time was ticking, and you barely talked to him, and he needed to leave soon, but he couldn’t.
Not when you were feeling yourself like this, not when you looked at him like you were dissociating. Even when your mouth let moans out, your eyes looked at him with a glint of hollowness.
He’d glanced at the clock on the table once more and let a sigh out signalling he wanted to talk, but was so deep down into this silent awkwardness he simply couldn’t.
You’d given him a boost of confidence by raising your gaze at him. Jaehyun cleared his throat, but it clearly didn’t help him speak in his regular voice. You’ve entertained the silence for too long.
"We're all good, aren't we?" He'd looked at you sheepishly and that tore you apart completely.
"We are." You blinked through the sudden wave of tears and had no other reply but falling on his chest for a hug. Jaehyun let his arms wrap your shoulder, and before you knew it you wailed like someone physically ripped you open and took a piece of your heart out.
“I’m so sorry, baby. I don’t know what I could do to make it less painful. You’re always sacrificing so much for me and I can’t even get back in the city.” Jaehyun whispered against your temple, palm caressing your back.
“That is not true.” Your fingers wiped the tear stains off your cheeks, colliding with Jaehyun’s fingers that reached to do the same.
“You come to me every weekend, quit the club, took care of my apartment, my bills, my-, well, basically my everything. You’re taking care of everything and I can’t even keep one promise I gave you, and it pains me so much. I swear it does.”
“It’s your duty.” You shook your head, not understanding where these words of support were coming from. He was right.
He wasn’t keeping the only promise he promised to keep.
But the rest - it was your choice, it was something you wanted to do for him. Because you loved Jaehyun, you fell in love with him and the feeling was whole-consuming and deep.
No, not in the past tense. It is. You still loved him the same. This tiny nuance couldn’t change a thing.
It can’t.
“I knew who you were when I let myself fall in love with you. I’m reaping what I’ve sown for myself. It wasn’t ever going to be easy. But I love you; love can endure all. Can’t it?”
“I am taking a vacation next month. Two weeks, okay? Pick anywhere you want to go in the whole wide world, and I’ll take you there. You won’t have to worry about a single thing. Just wake up in bed with me every morning and do everything your heart wishes for.”
“You can’t randomly leave the country. Not the special forces captain.” You chuckled for the first time this weekend and wiped your tears off his shoulder.
“I’ll have to approve our destination with my commanding officer, but for the rest there won’t be an issue.”
“Are you sure?” You had no reason to doubt the man in front of you, but you also did.
“I promise. We’re going on a holiday. Our first holiday together.” He leaned in and pressed his mouth against yours, making it a little bit easier in your chest to accept this whole thing.
-
“Yuno?” Your voice trembled into the phone. You heard a bunch of noises on the other end of the line, but nothing much that you could match to your boyfriend’s voice or any words at all.
“Baby.” His voice finally screeched through the line and you’d choked up on the tears trying to leave your eyes. “I’m okay.”
“I got an emergency alert on my phone about the border, and I've read the news that something happened, and I don't understand. What is going on?" You tried to contain yourself; you've talked about this with him before.
In case of emergency, you have to not give in to panic. He's in a dangerous zone, but he's trained to work in emergency situations; you shouldn't worry about him and take care of yourself. He'll try to contact you the first chance he gets to let you know he's safe.
What bullshit it was, why would you care about yourself when he was clearly in danger. He didn’t pick up his phone for two hours and at this point it felt like your soul was leaving your body.
Another great perk of being in a relationship with a military man is that in case of emergency, there's about zero chance anyone would tell if he's safe and where he is. It was really lucky Jaehyun actually had his phone by now.
"It's okay. It's all good." He tried to calm you down, but the sounds overlapping with his voice signalled it was just a lie.
“Do you know what happened?”
"Some mess from the north, I don't know yet, I am only going to go there now for the night."
"Please, please, be safe." You cried on the phone.
"I will, darling. I love you. I really do." He whispered into the phone. Why was he making it sound like a goodbye? He can’t be serious right now. It can’t be anything of actual danger to him. It can’t.
"I love you too, Jae.” You whispered, unable to say anything else. Ask any questions.
“I think I’m not coming to the city this weekend.” He sighed into the phone.
“It’s okay, just please, be safe.”
“I will be. I have to go, I’ll get in contact when I get the chance. I love you.” He hung up before you could tell him how much you loved him too.
-
His absence in the city on the weekend wasn't easy, worsened by the fact it was nearly impossible to talk to him in general.
By what you were able to gather from the internet, there was a fire open near the border, descendants, and an interception, neutralised all within thirty minutes. You were finding it hard to understand why they were not letting go of the situation two weeks later.
Yes, you got that it was an emergency, illegal armed border crossing, but according to the uniformed man on the TV everything was perfect and taken care of.
Somehow, Jaehyun’s been locked up at the base for weeks straight, his unit in full combat readiness. You barely heard his voice and that, adding up to the whole thing made it impossible for you to carry on with your regular life in the city.
It was a happy call, when Jaehyun managed to call you from a landline phone, like he’d been in a dungeon with no connection, to tell you he managed to ask for a two hours of leave for tomorrow. If you could come see him - he’ll be happy to.
Of course you could, of course you would come see him. That’s why right now you were watching the bus take the left turn to the bus station, messaging Jaehyun about your arrival right after.
He was supposed to be free in thirty minutes, enough time for you to walk to the gates.
“You’re here.” Jaehyun let a sigh out as you stepped out; making you so startled upon his presence. “I was given an extra hour, I figured I’ll come pick you up.” You stared at him paralysed. He hasn’t worn much his camouflage uniform with you, making your eyes ogle on his name tag and his rolled up sleeves. Hair noticeably shorter than the last time you’ve seen and touched him. “Come here.” Jaehyun pulled onto your wrist when a man tried to descend the bus and pushed into your back.
“Are you okay?” You took his face in your arms, trying to see if anything at all changed. Your fingers trailed over his arms, tanner than they’ve been before and looked over his skin for a sign of any physical harm he might’ve endured in those weeks.
“Baby, I’m all good.” Jaehyun chuckled, and took your hands in his instead. “I’m perfectly fine now that you’re here.” He guided your arms onto his shoulders and ran his fingers against your waist, leaving a kiss on your neck. “I missed you so fucking much. I can’t believe I haven’t seen you for almost a month.”
“Can you go back home next week?” Jaehyun pulled back, eyes uncertain.
“I’m not sure, baby. Every morning they extend the emergency status.” He caressed your cheek apologetically, leaving a kiss over your forehead.
“Should we go to the cafe?”
“One of my colleagues rents an apartment down the street.”
“You want us to go see him?”
“No.” Jaehyun shook his head with a chuckle. “I want to give you a very big, long, hug, and he’d told me the passcode.”
“Is he okay with us intervening like that?”
“Of course. He said as long as we don’t touch his bed we can do whatever.”
“And what did you tell him we were going to do?” You chuckled, Jaehyun’s arm wrapping your shoulder to walk to the apartment.
“Nothing, I said we’re both very intelligent and decent kids.”
“Did he believe you?”
“No.” Jaehyun laughed, giving you a side hug.
-
“Can’t imagine getting up from under you in an hour.” Jaehyun ran his fingers against the sides of your neck, extending your neck to kiss your cheek.
“Have you ever imagined to quit this and get a different job?” You raised your head up and asked the question that bothered you for a little while.
“No.” Jaehyun defended, eagerly. You could tell the question offended him, but you were way past tip-toeing about it. Maybe you should fight it out and come to some sort of piece of mind. “Never.”
“I understand.” You took a mental step back, not able to ruin the limited time you have in his arms.
“I’m really sorry.” He tucked your head under his chin and shifted his legs, wrapping them more around yours.
“I think I cried every day of this week because I miss you and can’t do a thing about it. People in jail get to get visitors, and you don’t. I haven’t even been to the place you spend all of your time at. Isn’t that unfair? Don’t you feel like it’s just a little unfair?” Jaehyun trailed your cheeks with his fingers like he could still see the tear stains over them.
“I’m sorry, I really am sorry.”
“But it’s not even your fault, what are you sorry for?”
“I should’ve known it’ll be difficult when I started it all.” You had to raise your head from his chest to see his eyes. It’s not like he was regretting dating you. He can’t be really saying that to you right now.
“Despite the emergency status, you have your permit to leave the country for our trip, and we are going to spend two weeks like any normal couple would, and it'll all be better after that. We are just a little worn out by the schedule. But it doesn't mean I don't love you." You patted his clothed chest, forcing the words of your love into his chest.
“About that.” Jaehyun sighed so heavily, you slid to the back of the couch on your side and he’d turned on his, fingers taking your chin to look in your eyes. “The permit was taken back, because of everything that’s been happening. I’m not allowed to leave the country any longer for the meantime, and-.”
“It’s fine.” You even managed a smile out, covering the fingers holding your face. “I have a whole list of places I want to visit within the country. We could see what we both like-.” You blinked at him, understanding it all without him needing to say it. You weren’t going anywhere. He was declined the vacation at all. Jaehyun mouthed I’m sorry, but you’ve ignored it. What was the point of those words you couldn’t know any more. “It’s okay. We’ll do it next time, right? When you’re able to, we’ll have the best time together. I love you.” It felt a little like you were trying to convince yourself you did, so you stopped talking. Your mind was deceiving you, so much disappointment was hard to carry with your head held high.
You leaned in and laid your lips atop of his; Jaehyun kissed you back, palms taking your head in their hold properly, as you leaned back into the backrest of the couch, Jaehyun took the lead of the kiss, leaning over you and pressing you down from above.
“Are you sure it’s okay?”
“It is, I promise.” Jaehyun leaned back in, but you paused.
I promise. He always says that. It never goes like he promises it will.
You let him turn your neck to fit better under his lips, and he groaned against your skin.
“Do you want to?” He asked, letting his palms wander lower, making your leg hook around his body.
“When do you think I’ll see you next time?”
“If it was up to me, I wouldn’t make you leave in the first place.” Jaehyun’s palm ran up and down inner side of your thigh, making your arms cover with shivers.
“Baby.” You murmured; you wanted an answer, not his sweet talking.
"I don't know. No one knows. They should've lifted the emergency status last week; it's still on. Then they cut everyone's right to go on vacation for the foreseeable future. I don't have an answer, that's the honest truth.”
“Okay. Then I definitely do. I miss your touch.” You let his palms trail up your stomach, bunching up your shirt. His fingers burned against your skin and you forced all the uneasiness out of your head.
He was your man, you loved him, you’d do anything to make him happy and content. You have to endure this one bit of difficulty to be back in the city together. He will, eventually, come back. You need to work on your patience to have your happy ever after.
You undid the buttons on his combat shirt and pulled it down Jaehyun’s shoulders. He let you leave him in his plain black shirt. Your fingers went down to his belt and you’d pulled the tucked material up, when Jaehyun’s fingers caught yours.
“What?” You looked puzzled at him, it’s not like he was shy for you to see his stomach. You did about a hundred times before, anyway. “What are you hiding?” You smirked, sneaking a palm blindly under his clothes. He tsked and took your palms back out.
“Your fingers are freezing,” Jaehyun pinned your arms above your head and leaned his body down to your stomach, making a sloppy trail all the way down to your jeans. He expertly undid the button and pulled them down to your knees, his thigh getting back in between your legs to create friction.
“Oh my god.” You whispered, as his digits sneaked over your chest, pulling the bra down. Jaehyun teased your nipple with his fingers and in combination with his leg and lips you felt like you were on fire. “I missed you.” You let out a hitch breath mid sentence. “I feel so lonely without you.” You spread your legs wider and Jaehyun pressed his legs harder, and your hips moved against his pants and you moaned into his shoulder. Unable to do anything else, you gripped onto his shoulder and let him take care of you.
He let go of your nipple to grab onto your ass, trying to imprint each of his fingers into your skin. Jaehyun’s mouth met yours then, and you let your tongue slide against his lips, until he’d granted you access and stuck your tongue into his mouth, sloppily kissing his mouth.
Jaehyun moved his grip, and now his hand ended up before his thigh, and in less than a second he’d pulled your underwear aside and smothered his fingers in your slickness. You’d taken a sharp inhale as he moved his fingers to your hole and pumped them in and out of you with much determination.
You found his belt blindly once more, this time undoing it.
You sneaked your hand down into his pants and he’d made another displeased sound with his mouth. “Are you okay?” He asked like it wasn’t you who needed to ask that.
“Perfectly.”
“Why are you so cold?” You were sure your palms were warming up mid action. You had no idea why you were freezing, or maybe you did. You’ve been so nervous and anxious the whole time, your limbs went cold.
“Give me five minutes, I’ll warm my hands up.” You smiled, stroking his length in your hand. The warmth and weight of his cock felt so good against your palm. You missed that so much. You missed his digits sliding in and out of you. You missed the feeling of his cock pulsing inside of your throbbing heat with no barrier.
“Love you so fucking much.” Jaehyun panted into your neck, as you pulled the zipper down and properly took his length out of the restraining clothes. Your hands covered his cock to give it double pressure as you stroked him, watching the tip get pink and glistening. You could only ever want it in your mouth when you see it. “When I get home I want you.”
“You’re not home, do you not want me?”
“You know what I mean.” Jaehyun licked his lips.
You raised up on your knees, making Jaehyun let go of your body and scoot to the side, so you’d have more space to sit. You made him raise his hips up and let you pull all of the fabric down his legs. As you did so, your head leaned to his tip and your hands rearranged the grip over him and you’d giving him a lick, getting a very long fuck out of Jaehyun’s mouth.
You sat on your folded legs and let one of the palms leave his length for support of your weight and took more of him into your mouth. Jaehyun was always quick with finding ways to give you pleasure, so now also he found a way to sneak his fingers between your legs and against your clit.
You took more of him into your mouth, swallowing the spit and pre-cum and mixed on your tongue, lowering properly on his length. You’d raised your hips from your legs to get the better angle and bob your head rhythmically on him, when you head him move; next thing you felt was his tongue against your perked up ass and sliding right into your heat.
You couldn’t even imagine how he reached it, given all of the circumstances, but he did, an arm angling you better so his tongue would be able to slide up and down your sensitive bud.
It felt straight up from an adult movie, having sex on the couch of his colleagues’ apartment, giving each other pleasure with your mouths at the same time. It felt nasty, but it also felt so fucking good. You couldn’t keep your moans inside, couldn’t stop humming and gasping mouth full of his cock. Couldn’t stop yourself from reaching your ass back so he’d be able to get his tongue further, do more with his tongue. And his tongue was capable of so much. So much it was hard for you to comprehend that a human muscle moved like that.
“We need to stop.” You moved away from his cock, but your palms were still stroking his length.
“What’s wrong?” Jaehyun pulled on your shoulder to see your face, eyes full of concern, but you couldn’t focus on that. Not when his mouth was glistening like that.
“I mean you have to go back soon, we can only do this once, and I want to feel you inside.” You leaned to Jaehyun’s face, making him lay back down on his back, swiping your tongue against his lips and kissing him next.
“You mean so much to me.” Jaehyun took your thigh once more and wrapped over his waist. He guided you to lay on your side next to him and you’d hugged his neck, pulling him close. Jaehyun took his length in his grip and with a couple of strokes pressed himself into you, swiping his cock against your folds. You spread your legs wider to feel him better; to get him covered in all of you before he sunk in. He’d teased enough, lowering down to your entrance and gave it a few strokes of his member, before he let him slip inside by an inch, and then pull out. He’d done the same thing once more and by the third time your thigh hooked over his waist didn’t let him pull out. He’d stayed caged and got the clue to slip in further.
As he did, your mouth pressed against Jaehyun’s, you’d gasped and he let a grunt out as he slipped further, and with next motion fully slipping in you’d kissed his lips, gasping for air when he pulled out and began slow stroking of your insides with his length.
He’d picked up the pace faster than you expected, and in no time you were grunting into each other’s mouths, nasty sound of skin slapping against skin and the couch legs fighting the wish to move from its spot.
“What do you want me to do?” Jaehyun licked your dried out lips.
“What do you mean?” You took his face in your hold, confused.
“I can cum somewhere else if you want to.”
“No, don’t, it’s okay.” You pulled him in closer and with a few deeper thrusts Jaehyun shuddered and loaded his seed inside of you.
You followed suit as soon as his fingers rubbed your clit, making your heart wrench.
“If I tell him we had to use the shower, he’s definitely going to know what was up.” Jaehyun chuckled to himself.
“You’re going to shower?”
“I thought you would go? I just came inside of you, you don’t like the stickiness.” Jaehyun rubbed his palm against your arm and then wrapped it around his clothed chest.
“I’m going to take a piece of you back home.” You pecked his mouth and asked non-verbally to help you put your undies back on. Jaehyun obeyed, letting you drop back next to him on your knees.
You looked over at him once again, concerned all of a sudden with the shirt’s presence on his skin. Jaehyun never liked a shirt on, was first to pull it off his body. You patted his chest and leaned in for a kiss, taking his attention to your mouth. You took the hem of the shirt in your fist and lifted it up all the way to his peck in one swift motion and pulled back.
Jaehyun closed his eyes in defeat and before you saw what it was you imagined the worst.
But somehow what was before you looked even worse.
“What is that?”
“I’m okay, baby. It’s nothing.” He’d taken your hand in his and tried to cover up once more.
“Why did you lie?” You pulled the material back up and ran the phantom of your fingers over his bruised skin. “Does it hurt?”
“No, not anymore.” He took your hand in his and sat up. “I’m not lying, I’m all good. If it hurt I would’ve busted myself like an hour ago.”
“What happened?”
“I don’t want you to know. You’ll begin to imagine all sorts of things could happen to me here.”
“Because they seemingly can. What happened?” You pressed and pulled the shirt even higher to see if there was anything else there.
“I was in a car that slid down a small hill, nothing serious. ” He said slowly, watching your face for a reaction. “I was in the back next to a box of ammo and when we flipped down the hill the box hit me a few times.”
“What.” You looked him dead in the eye. Was that a made up story? A joke?
“The road was a sheet of ice in the night and the driver lost control and got us in an accident.” Jaehyun said it differently.
“Oh my god.” You hugged his shoulders, face tucked into his neck. “All this time I fear you’re going to get shot or something worse, but you’re able to get on the verge of death by a car accident.” You blinked at him. “Jaehyun.”
“This is exactly why I didn’t want to tell you. We can’t see each other properly and barely talk right now, and now you’ve seen the bruise and heard the story and will worry yourself more. I didn’t want to tell you because I wanted to keep your head from that.”
“Can’t you quit?” You felt the tears up in your eyes once more. “I’d be the happiest if you just quit.”
He caressed your back to calm you down, but it didn’t help much. It just couldn’t.
It’s been a month since you last saw Yuno.
It was your decision not to see him. He had a couple of chances to see you spontaneously for an hour or two, but your answer was always I can’t leave the city right now.
You managed to dodge him last weekend, when he’d messaged you Friday morning he’s free to come, you replied back with oh my god baby, that’s amazing news, but I’m out of town with lawyer Kim for our case.
You managed to dodge him just this past weekends too, when you promised to come see him, but your car broke down and there was no tickets for the bus, until it was too late for him to even consider going to you himself.
The worst part of it all was the fact he wasn’t understanding what you were doing. He was so oblivious to your weak reasons to not see him, to not talk to him, to not call back. You cut by half all of your communication, and despite very gentle did I hurt you? did I do something wrong? are you mad at me? it seemed he didn’t catch up on what was going on. Or maybe he did, given he’d not asked you about the upcoming weekend. Maybe he knew what was going on and agreed with you on that decision.
It probably was a good thing, he was giving you and himself time to get used to being apart. To get used to not be together, so once he comes back home and sees your message - he understands it all.
Jaehyun couldn't remember when was the last time he was this excited to leave his stupid job. Probably, not ever since that next weekend after you’d agreed to be his girlfriend.
He was seeping with excitement, happy to return to you the happy sentiment of a surprise visit. Life’s been even more though on you two lately, not letting you see each other for another month, but not anymore. He was successful with keeping it secret that he was finally given a proper vacation.
First thing back, he’d went to his apartment. Back in the sock drawer of his wardrobe he kept another one of his surprises hidden from you and it’s been months since he got it.
It felt like it was the right time to let you know how he felt about you. No more uncertainty, no more tears, no more pain in your eyes when he had to leave you.
He’d planned in his head how he’d change to his civilian clothes, opting for a pair of black jeans and a classic shirt, how he’d leave all of his belongings there and run to you. To see the girl he love so much.
Jaehyun walked into his apartment with lifted spirits, that is until he’d reached his bedroom and saw a very bright pink post-it on his bed. First thought that ran through his mind was you. You spent at his place without him, left behind something from your lawyer papers probably and he’d picked it up to give it to you tonight, when his eyes focused on it to read.
A lot of scribbling but he still managed read the whole thing.
We have to brake up
I can’t do this any longer
I can’t be your weekend duty my whole life
I love you
I’m sorry, Yuno
Jaehyun let the piece of paper drop to his feet and ran through his apartment inspecting; your clothes were gone; your toothbrush - nowhere to be seen. All of you was gone, safe for that stupid pink devilish creation.
He’d taken the box out of the socks drawer and left his apartment immediately. It was the weekend, morning; where else could you be if not home? That’s where he went to, fuming, burning. Angry, not understanding what was the reason. Why were you breaking up with him? Was he wrong about something? Did he hurt you? Yes, you’ve been a little distant because of everything that’s happened, but it all happened against his or yours will. It was not something Jaehyun imagined to be a reason for you to dump him. You’ve said yourself love can endure all. Because you loved him, you were ready to wait until it all became alright once more.
It can’t be the change of your heart - he’d seen I love you crossed out by a million lines written on that piece of paper. You wrote it, you love him.
It was you who noticed Jaehyun first not far from your building’s entrance, and that sudden meeting made you freeze in place. You were leaving the cafe next door, and he was clearly heading to your apartment.
You thought you outplayed him and somehow he was outplaying you now, heading to you. Oblivious to what awaited him at his home? Or full aware? Given he was wearing civilian clothes he’s been home before, but it was hard to read his face expression from the distance and thus you had no clue what was the intention of that visit. You watched him approach the door fully convinced he won’t waver his gaze anywhere else and pass you unknowingly, but as he turned to the door his head turned in a different direction and you’d seen his face get as astonished at the sudden meeting as yours two minutes ago.
You’d averted your gaze, but it was clearly too late and he’d changed the trajectory of his walk, coming to you.
“No.” You shook your head before he could open his mouth.
“Hi.” Jaehyun blinked at you. You were expecting a confrontation, but he’d greeted you and went quiet.
“Hi.” You replied, looking at him confused.
“We aren’t doing this.” Jaehyun licked his lips and took a step closer to you. “You’re not my weekend duty.”
“Jae, please, this is not a convenient moment.” You gestured to the cafe behind you and weren’t allowed to say anything else by the man in front of you.
“Fuck convenience, our life is on the line. I know it’s been a whole fucking mess these past weeks, but here.” Jaehyun reached for his pocket and before he opened his mouth once more he showed a small jewellery box to you.
“No.” You stepped back, panicking. He wasn’t about to do something so stupid. “Where did you even manage to get that?” If he was back for an hour or so, how was that possible?
“I had it for months. When you know, you just know. I don’t need ten years to decide. I knew how I wanted this to go month in.” He reached his hand out to yours, but you pulled back. No. No. You were not gonna say yes to that, when it was not changing a single thing between you it was marrying to make things even worse.
“Jaehyun, no.” you shook your hands in front of the box. “Stop.” He ignored your protesting, trying to get on one knee, the levels of panic spiked in your system, you grabbed onto his arms, stopping him.
“Jaehyun, no. I won’t marry you. Don’t embarrass yourself.” You could only choke on your own words. It was so fucking heart wrenching to see hurt in his eyes grow by a minute.
“Why?” He grumbled.
“I can’t.” It’s not going to change a thing, how can’t he see that.
“Why?” He pressed, more sternly this time.
“I broke up with you.”
“That’s stupid. You didn’t, that piece of paper can’t be a real brake up. We were fine. No; we were good. We were amazing.” Jaehyun stepped closer to you once more, fighting the wish to raise his voice by an octave.
“I can’t marry a man that’s eighty percent of the time absent from my life.”
“That is not for forever!” He blew up.
“Now it feels like it is!” It was only fair you did also.
“Okay, we can go, I’m sorry-.” Your company finally made it out of the cafe and you looked at him, same for Jaehyun. “Is something wrong?” He looked at you and you blew air out of your noise.
“No. I don’t know this man. We can go.” You glanced at Jaehyun and with a little shake of your head in disapproval walked past him.
You’d taken about two steps away from Jaehyun, trying to calm your heart down, when his fingers wrapped your upper arm, dragging you back, to look at him.
“How long has this been going on for?” Your first intention was asking him what the hell was he even meaning, but you’d seen his eyes drag behind you and you fell lost for words.
He can’t possibly be serious.
“Wow, sir, back off. What the hell do you want from her?” The man beside you stepped in, but Jaehyun completely ignored his existence. What was he even looking at you like this for?
"How long have you been fucking this guy behind my back?” You would’ve rather been pushed on the ground than hear him say these words out loud.
"Are you insane?"
"Look me in the eyes and say he's not the reason you stopped coming to see me." you stepped in closer, eyes wide open to look Jaehyun in the eyes.
"He's not. The only reason is your stupid job."
"You knew what my job was when you chose to be with me.” Jaehyun looked at you, boiling with rage, it seemed, but you were the only one allowed to be fuming. He threw a scene and accused you of something that never happened. He was… insane! Wanting you to marry him and accusing you of cheating all in a span of ten minutes is in a capability of a real mad man.
"Because you always lied how it was about to be over! It's been over a year, Jaehyun! You promised to be back in four months!" you screamed, but then realised who was watching you and put in all of your strength to calm yourself down. "I never signed up to be in a distance relationship. I can’t do it like this. This is the end of the story.”
"I'm sorry, old sport." Your company pushed Jaehyun’s hand off your arm and tried to lead you away.
The very next moment poor man ended up bent in half, cries of pain leaving his mouth. You gasped, arms covering your mouth in shock.
"That is my girlfriend, you fucking dickhead and you better leave before I snap your fucking bones!"
"What is wrong with you?" you slapped Jaehyun’s chest. He’s never been angry like that, never were violent, at all. Who was this? What the hell was going on?
"Talk to me.” Jaehyun demanded. “I know, it has not been perfect lately. But we can’t be flawless, all the flaws are the parts of our love.”
“Jaehyun, please. I have nothing to tell you, especially when you act like this! I already told you everything I had to say.”
“Really? So you have not an ounce of shame after all.” Jaehyun let go of the man and you let a sigh out, at least he was not going further with threatening a fucking lawyer.
“You-.” You chocked, because you didn’t want to answer to him any longer, what you were doing and who you were with is none of his business any longer. “This is Lawyer Kim.” You hissed and found no satisfaction in the way his stare crumbled defeated. He’d taken a step back from the man but found it unnecessary to apologise, it seemed. “He helps me with my case and now for what you’ve done I’ll completely understand if Lawyer Kim stops working with me! You-, I can’t even tell you what I truly think of you right now. Get lost, I mean it.”
“One minute, please. Don’t you think I deserve a minute? After the time we spent together?” You contemplated, if a minute would make him leave, then okay. Let it me a minute.
You excused yourself to Lawyer Kim and took a step back. Jaehyun followed.
“Do I not get a say in this? Get a second chance? The love you bring into my life is everything to me. I know we’re physically apart, but we are close. We are close, I love you. Nothing has changed.” Jaehyun pleaded, clutching his hands before him. The desperation in his voice made it harder for you to be honest. You still had to.
“I realised that I’ll always be number two, okay? Always. There won’t be a matter in life where I’ll come first, because duty always comes first.” Your eyes fluttered and you managed to focus them on Jaehyun. “I couldn’t say it to your face, now I did anyway, but it doesn’t mean I don’t love you. It doesn’t mean I moved on!” You felt your voice raise and took a second to calm down. “You are to be mad at me, I agree, this is some high-school girl way of breaking up by leaving a post-it on your bed. But I need more than everything you’re able to give.” Jaehyun’s mouth opened and you had to raise your palm up to stop him. “Not because you’re not enough, because your occupation doesn’t allow you to.”
“Can we talk, please, somewhere without the stares of your colleague?” Jaehyun glanced behind himself. “I’m sorry for what I did just now, I’m not like this. You know it-.”
“No. His presence is the perfect opportunity for me to be collected. I’m sorry, Yuno. I really am, I wasn’t build to be the obedient wife waiting for her husband to return from war and it seems I’ll never be.” It’s been too long since you figured it all out for yourself and was too scared to admit it to his face.
“I’m not-.”
“You know what I meant.”
“You love me, but can’t be with me. That’s… great. Definitely makes it easier for me to accept this.” Jaehyun’s gaze defocused and his face crumbled defeated; nothing but pain and realisation he can’t do anything about this settling over his features. You knew this feeling all too well. This is how you felt this whole time, not having a say in anything. Not having an opportunity to influence what was happening.
“I have to interrupt, we’re fifteen minutes late already.” Lawyer Kim cleared his voice behind you and you nodded, looking back at the man.
“Right, right. I’m so sorry, lawyer Kim. Thirty seconds.”
“Good luck, Yuno. Sincerely, I wish you well. The ring is beautiful and I’m sure the woman that will be strong enough to endure all the nuances of your life will wear it proudly.” You pursed your lips and squeezed his fist that still held the box. “And thank you for serving our country, always.” You held on to his fist to lean in and kiss his cheek, sucking up all the heartbreak and leaving him to stand there. You smiled at lawyer Kim as he’d led you to his car.
You had to throw away all of the thoughts about Jaehyun and proceed with bidding your sincerest apologies to the man that’s driving you to your client.
Epilogue
You were rushing through the street to mean your client. You hated to come right on time as much as being late, because it meant you could possibly coming later than your client and won’t have a few minutes to get your brains together. There was only one parking spot way too far down the street and you were running all the way back to the cafe you were supposed to meet him.
Thankfully, the man seemingly was also being late, because when you entered the cafe he was nowhere to be seen. You let the hostess know the name the table was booked under and made yourself comfortable on the chair.
You ordered yourself a cup of tea and spread your papers and a few questions you had prepared for the man in your notebook.
“I’m so sorry for being late.” The man rushed in, startling you from the papers. You raised your head to assure him it was nothing, but the smile died down as soon as you saw his attire. “I haven’t mentioned my occupation, did I.” He chuckled, and you finally found your manners to stand up and shake his hand in greeting.
“It doesn’t make any difference for our case, it’s okay.” You shook your head, and gestured for him to take the seat in front of you.
“I hope it was okay for me to ask you come here. Could only make it out for lunch.”
“No, no. It’s all good, Mr. Lee. As long as we proceed with our case, I’m good to come anywhere.” You smiled politely and let the man place his order as the waitress approached the table, before getting to your job.
“You should order some food too.” He’d suggested, but your head shook a no. You couldn’t digest any food now. Not after you’d seen who he worked as and your brain went elsewhere.
“Special forces?” You managed to ask, gesturing to his chest.
“It is.” He gave you a little pleased bow. “How’d you know?”
“That patch,” you showed the one you meant with your fingers on the same area on your chest. “is engraved in my brain.” You let an awkward chuckle out. “My close friend also served there.”
“Really?” He asked pleased. “Then I guess it was some sort of destiny for you to be my lawyer.” He smiled and you nodded, agreeing.
Right, it was time to get to business. You gathered your pen and notebook before you to start off.
“Which way are you going?” Mr. Lee asked you politely.
“Ah, there,” you gestured to the left. “There’s a real problem with parking spots on this street. Had to park like ten minutes away from him.”
“Yes, that’s true, unfortunately. We don’t have a parking lot, so everyone who works at the building parks here.”
“Oh, this is the street?” You asked surprised. You didn’t know. So this is where Jaehyun would’ve worked, if he ever managed to keep his promise of returning to the city…?
“It is, also to the left. If you don’t mind, I’ll walk you to your car.”
“Of course.” You pursed your lips and you’d proceeding with your polite conversation all the way up to your car.
“I guess I depart here.” You looked at the man politely.
“Me too.” He gestured to the building and you focused your eyes right at the entrance of it. There wasn’t any specific plate saying what the building was and it made sense, it was never disclosed to public for security reasons. “I didn’t say a thing.” The man chuckled and you bid your farewell, unlocking your car and opening the door.
You heard a group of people leave the building the same time your client walked up the stair and you raised your head to see them all salute the man, referring to him as colonel Lee.
You smiled to yourself and went back to sitting down in your car, as your eyes fell on Jaehyun. His gaze like magnetised already was on you.
You first thought of immediately jumping in the car and running away, but you couldn’t. He stared at you, then quickly ran down the stairs to you.
“Are my eyes deceiving me?”
“They’re not.” You fumbled with your fingers, unable to look him in the eyes. “What are you doing here?”
“I was transferred back to the city, like I told you I would be.” you raised your eyes at him.
Why didn’t you call me, then? You didn’t want to see me after what I’ve done to us? You should’ve told me you were here.
“Really?” Your pulse immediately quickened.
“Mmh. When that extension ended, they finally let me return because I spent too much time on that special duty. Even got myself a major rank.” He patted his shoulder and you’ve noticed the difference in number stripes only then. He was down to one.
“That’s great. Congratulations.”
“Thank you.” He blinked. “You’re the lawyer colonel Lee talked about?” You nodded. “Can’t imagine what sort of inquiry he must have.” Jaehyun chuckled, awkwardly and looked you in the eyes. You could tell Jaehyun spent much more time inside just by looking at his pale face. His hair looked much longer and you guessed now that he was working like a normal human there was no point in following certain rules he had to before.
“I can’t disclose-.”
“I know, I know. I’m not asking.” Jaehyun trying to reassure you he didn’t.
“Well, I guess it was good to see you, Yuno.” You smiled, sensing the awkwardness settling between you two.
“Was it?” He turned his head a little to the side like a puppy. He was still very cute, it seemed. Horrible observation.
“Why would it not be?” You forced a smile onto your lips.
“Do you, maybe, want to see me sometime again?” He blinked, what felt like ready for any answer you could give him.
“What for…?” You tried to not sound too harsh.
“For a lunch? Or dinner, doesn’t matter much.” He shrugged and looked you up, all the way down to your shoes and up to your eyes. You could tell he knew you saw that, but wasn’t really bothered by the fact.
“Would that be a good idea?” You held in a smirk by a bite to your lower lip.
“Of course? I have so much free time nowadays. Much more than I’ve ever had.” He looked at you and ran his tongue over his over teeth.
“I’m happy for you.” You let out, swallowing whatever might’ve come out next.
“It only matters if the feeling is sincere.” Jaehyun took a step closer.
“It is, no doubt about it.”
“Good, then I’ll text you and we’ll see what we can do about it, deal?” He grabbed onto the open door of your car next your fingers and you nodded.
“Deal.”
i pushed those 25k words out of me like a baby for his bd lol
let me know your thoughts!!!
I couldn't let the ending be sad on Jaehyun's bd so I had to urgently add in an epilogue
I hope everyone caught on how he was Yuno in the narration until she guessed his name😉😊😉😊😉
I really tried to push myself to post smthng for Jaehyun’s return and unfortunately I didn't have the time to finish the fic I had hoped to finish off😭 it looks like it's going to be at least 30k words (initial plan was 15k) and all the other drafts are stuck around a 10k mark...
if anyone's interested in reading like 10 unfinished Jaehyun fics lmk lol
