Soft, Farmcore @vagabondebullience - Tumblr Blog

irishmansdaughter

Home and around

consecuences

aslowyear

Reading Times, Pennsylvania, Oct 14, 1926

thriftedrose

sleg

seattle-shenanigans

disturbedlolita

smellslikecitrusandcinnamon

Mushy and fluttery friends

aslowyear

Rosanna Morris

Peas are done. Beans are growing. Pickle is cute. I like train rides. Basically a photo dump!

Radical Acceptance

This was really helpful for me to listen to and practice, and I'm hoping if I post it, it might be just the thing for someone else.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ia6wb8bfwf

If you too suffer the effects of cPTSD or any neurodivergence and struggle with affirming yourself when things aren't going the way you'd hoped, practicing radical acceptance is an interesting and helpful tool and processing all of those emotions that might pop up when you're triggered.

Example: Maybe you don't "vibe" with a colleague, and their mere presence triggers past emotions of being manipulated, bullied and taken advantage of. Your intuitions and gut feelings are correct: maybe they *do* unknowingly take advantage of people around them, maybe they do fawn to be liked. Recognize that you're also still processing those emotions, so being around this person might become too much to bear. Try distancing yourself, working with whatever feelings of malcontent that swell in your heart, and know that deep down that regardless of whether this person actually *is* the way you feel they are to be, that indeed they might just be a sign from the universe that you have some more growing to do.

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#mental health #radical acceptance #cptsd #support #therapy #mindfulness

Oh, snap (peas)!

It was a heavy rain last night. Torrential downpour. Lightning flashes, thunderclaps, howling winds galore. The whole nine yards. I saw the clouds churn as I settled in for the evening's piano lesson, I had to step out mid-lesson because, as I had explained to my student, "my pineapple tree can't get rained on! It can't handle it!"

Despite the rain and gale, I found that my garden was absolutely thriving from the break in the recent dry spell. It's been sweltering these past couple of days here in Philadelphia, and despite my best efforts to water my plants twice daily (early mornings and afternoons), the sun beats down on these poor plants with no relief, and some of my newer seedlings didn't make it. While my partner was making dinner, I even found newly sprouted snap peas on the vine! I'm so excited for what this means for the rest of my crop! It's going to be a fruitful summer, I think!

Lately, I've taken a sort of back-seated neglectful approach to my garden. I have had other matters to attend to. The music school in which I teach for is rearing the corner of its school year, music recitals in tow. I do my best to encourage and promote my students' progress and build their confidence, and I am so astounded at children so young accomplishing so much in such a short period of time.

I find that I've been spending less time at the farm helping out, and more time taking care of myself. Being chronically ill, that's the ebb and flow of life; sometimes, you really have to pick yourself first. Without homeostasis within, it's impossible to build anything. I thought of this when the storm clouds rolled in last night; like the tide, my life ebbs and flows around my many passions and many relationships. I find that old friends and hobbies begin to come back in astounding numbers, as I am slowly becoming my own. I find that some of the people I was starting to get close to before the pandemic as starting to go their own separate ways, by no one's fault- just the interwoven threads of fate beginning to unravel. It's peaceful, it's melancholic, and it has me thinking deeply about the people I hold most dear. I don't mind nestling into myself a bit more. I love working in nature and I love gardening and learning more about natural farming and microbiology and soil fertilization, the whole nine yards. I understand that for this to become more and more a part of my life, I have to take care of myself. My physical, my emotional, my financial security before moving onto the next chapter. Grateful for growth.

#me #personal #journal entry

Late May Check-in

Been a while. Just a couple of weeks, to be sure, but I figured I'd check back in. Been taking a little bit of a break from the farm to focus on more lucrative horizons. I got my old job back as a housecleaner to help pay some of the bills that have been piling up around here, and have continued a slow but steady stream of new private students for piano teaching. I happen to really enjoy teaching music and piano, as a matter of fact; and although I had said in the past- time, and time again- "I'll never teach!", here I am: teaching. I hate to admit that my parents were right.

What's new? Well, not very much. The world is beginning to open up like a flower late in bloom, and I hope dearly that this isn't going to blow up in everyone's face only to be shut down again. I've found new anxieties roam in my inability to trust strangers whether because of being unvaccinated or otherwise conservative, closeted racists. I keep to myself, and I prefer it that way. I suppose I'll write later, if I remember to do that, but for now, I've got to eat a snack and go into a lesson so:

adieu.