The ravages of time, without a doubt, weighed heavy on Valder's shoulders. He sat alone in his room. The fireplace just outside his door roared with life yet not even a crackle reached the cave that bear sat in. The muffle of the street outside did not break through the condemned walls of his abode. Grey speckled his beard in some dance of matured experience and cloudy gloom. Once again, that spark in his eyes seemed to be snuffed out. Even some dust seemed to accumulate on Valder's furnishings.
With a sigh, he leaned back in his chair. A tired motion of his arm and he lifted the letter to his face once more. Weary eyes slid over each word but the expression on his face did not change. Indifference seemed to be the only emotion the man could muster. At least on the surface.
Tavares really did seem to leave a hole that could never be filled. Not just the boy alone, but what he represented. Tavares, the boy so connected to him by what felt like a thin string. Valder’s hands held that string taut yet in the end, it broke away just like the rest. The last string fell off into the darkness. And with it, with no strings to hold him up, he fell too.
Everything he’d ever tried to hold onto seemed gone. Near everyone else he knew held onto something, at least. A friend, a lover, a family member, or even a drinking buddy they met once a week. Well, Cas still stuck around for him at least. Though a bear as your sole confidant didn’t seem a healthy thing in the least. Or perhaps it could be better that way?
Valder rose from his chair. The wood under him creaked lowly, much like how he felt his bones were wone to do right now. A short walk from his room and he found himself standing before the fireplace. More than logs burned. Before the letter arrived, he’d been tumbling plenty of old trash and possessions into the flames as an offering.
He’d abandoned the laboratory to his partner. She could manage it well enough and seemed fascinated with the work. Valder, for the most part, simply couldn’t be bothered anymore. With Tavares’ death, he found himself slipping by the day. Still, no matter what he ran into, no matter who he lost, no matter what happened to him, Valder always found a way to pull through. He simply carried on for everyone else. All his attempts at love failed; sylvari and human alike came and went. His attempt at a family and a chance to hold a child of his own flesh and blood failed. His attempt to achieve some degree of peace without a troubled mind failed. He’d achieved none of this. Instead, he committed himself to his work. If he could not achieve these things, he’d make sure that others could. As a Vanguard, he’d put his life on the line to safeguard that opportunity for those alive today and for the next generation. He never turned to drinking or narcotics or hedonism. He expected better of himself. Fortunately, his struggle proved successful (more oft than not) for those others he worked for. A small consolation for said troubled mind.
A scenario no different than any other confronted him. He still had an unspoken duty to Arvanna. Both her and whatever new life she’d bring into the world.
Now, he stood before the fireplace, a box in hand. It used to jingle with gold but Valder chose to invest the coin he won both in Tavares and the laboratory. Now, only a small stuffed animal, some swaddling clothes, and a small blanket rested inside the lonely box. In an uproar of emotion he tossed it into the flames as a final offering. The roiling beast consumed it almost immediately.
Valder didn’t spare it another thought. He spun on a heel in his usual fashion, making his way through the house to acquire a writing utensil and some paper. The letter he wrote Arvanna, despite all his other inconsistencies, fit perfectly with the downtrodden man here.
Once, millennia ago, he greeted her entrance to their shared home with a cheesy song. He’d even managed to spruce the place up more than usual, dress well, and make dinner. But now? Now there would be no song and no hot meal. Now, she may be lucky on arrival to simply find the place clean.
Valder deigned to send it out in the morning. Now, he retreated to his room to surround his fatigued body with an army of blankets in the cold silence. In the fireplace, the flames slowly dwindled, that creature’s appetite having left only ash.
