◟♯ . / I'D TRADE IT ALL FOR YOU, BUT WHAT DO I CARE FOR ! 🪷
in which: y/n has been watching him from the corner of every room for months, he didn't even know her name. she didn't plan on falling for her friend's roommate. especially not one as unreadable as suguru geto, tattoo artist, chronic underthinker, and the only person who has ever made her feel simultaneously seen and completely invisible. he has a bad habit of pulling her close just enough to keep her there and feed his ego.
contains: SMAU with written parts, tattooartist!geto x fem!reader, slow burn, angst, sometimes crack, strangers to lovers?
updates: once a week if my brain cooperates! first three chapters in the same week!!
also kinda made a playlist that sets the vibe for this smau... check it out if u want blushes...
SYNOPSIS , .. '♬ harboured feelings, lost words, wasted communication, and a trail of ex's in search of each other in other people.
the group + yn ln
kiyoko shimizu + hinata shoyo
bokuto kotaro + atsumu miya
notes: my n button one my laptop is kinda broken and i have to REALLY press it to get it to work so...lol sorry for the missing ns AHAH also ignore mistakes pls pls
TAGLIST (1/50) if your name is highlighted(example) please fix within a week!! :) @the0ishere
I'm gonna binge all your fics and reblog all of them someday.
You're so good 😫🙏
aheheheheheheheh giggling and kicking my feet at this thank youuuu
ngl i’ve had this damn fic sat in my notes app for months i’ve just been nervous to start writing bcccc the writers block is real bad but it’s fine cus we’re js gonna go as we goo…
SYNOPSIS , .. '♬ harboured feelings, lost words, wasted communication, and a trail of ex's in search of each other in other people.
TAGS ... soc med au, iwazumi hajime x reader, famous au(since they're like...athletes and that...), hinata shoyo, tooru oikawa, matsukawa issei, hanamaki takahiro, atsumu miya, kiyoko shimizu, tobio kageyama, bokuto kotaro, ooc..ngl ngl. iawizumi and y/n flirting on the tl...
NOTES !! souuuuuuuu....ehe...looks at you sheepishly...so like so like yeah...this is a thing and its here.. uh ehe...potential slow updates...idek shouldnt be but like this is coming from the girl who dissapreared for like two months so you never know...oh also is the title a weezer reference??? yea!
characters : discord ❀ i survived oikawa
CHAPTERS ... ?!
TAGLIST (3/50) if your name is highlighted(example) please fix within a week!! :) @the0ishere @cupc4keics @linaaeatsfamilies
warnings : none, fluff and comfort and a moody bokuto.
author's note : WHY IS TS BUNS AGAIN. i did nawt proof read this..anywho...LOWK was sat around for four days farting about sorry gang..
the match had been good. almost perfect, they’d won in straight sets and completely pummelled the other team.
except bokuto kotaro, your loud and energetic husband, had been off his game today. majorly. he’d massed up serves and spikes and in total had given the other team around eleven or twelve points across the sets on his mess ups alone.
it was no secret that kotaro got unreally moody when he messed up, even if his team were winning.
the MSBY black jackals, always looking for an excuse to not cook, decided to go out for a celebratory dinner for winning the game and advancing to the next round. naturally, bokuto tagged along, but he visibly was not in the mood to celebrate when he had done so poorly. after all, as he viewed it, why should someone who played so shocking celebrate that.
“bokuto doesn’t looks very happy about our win.” the ginger one whispered to his setter, atsumu, stating the obvious.
“he did have a pretty rocky match.” the other whispered back.
“should we call his wife?”
“probably.”
it was a tried and true method for dealing with bokutos mood swings. the moment you got there he would brighten up, just a little bit, then he would become moody again and then you would tell him something, exactly what he needed to hear, then he would cheer up, be the life of the celebration and then leave early.
atsumu, ever the tease, approached bokuto ever so slowly, sarcasticallytentative, as though he was approaching a hostile animal.
“do you want us to call your wife?” he asked, he tone almost riddled with amusement.
bokutos head shot up, his mopey expression being replaced by a deadpan, as if the answer were the most obvious thing in the whole world. he slouched in his chair just a little, his arms coming to cross over his chest.
“obviously.” he clicked his tongue and looked away, his bottom lip sticking out ever so slightly, the arms crossed on his chest tightened.
hinata nodded grabbing his phone and slipping away from the table to call bokuto’s wife. when he returned bokuto check his phone once, then twice, then a third time. then he was groaning, grumpily stuffing his phone into his pocket and folding his arms again.
all he wanted to do was see you, hear your words, get your reassurance. he wanted you to tell him that it was okay that he played poorly because they won and he still got a lot of points.
you chose to focus more on getting there rather than talking to him over text when you’d gotten the call. what you hadn’t accounted for was how antsy that would make bokuto.
when you finally pushed the door open, letting the cold air flow into the restaurant, your eyes scanned the room. you shrugged your coat off as your eyes landed on bokuto. he was still looking off to the wall, not paying any mind to the person who had just walked in. you couldn’t help but laugh.
you found it almost endearing how bokuto got like this. it wasn’t just an on court thing either, getting mopey over messing up was something he had done since the day you met him.
one time, you recall, he’d taken you on a date it hadn’t gone quite to plan and ended in you both sat in a greasy burger joint. there wasn’t a single complaint from you, all you wanted was to spend time with him.
but bokuto?
he was kissing his lips and looking around, slouched in his chair the same way he always did, pouting and mumbling about how he could ‘do so much better than this’ and how this ‘wasn’t what he planned’ and how ‘nothing was fair’ because ‘this wasn’t going his way’.
you made your way over to the table, a hand gently falling on his shoulder. his head snapped towards you as if to chew you out for touching him, when he noticed that freshly done manicure of your.
his gaze dragged up to your face and he immediately lit up, grabbing you by your waist and pulling you close and hugging you.
then, just as fast as he had lit up, he deflated, becoming mopey again.
“you shouldn’t see me i’m a failure.” he pouted, his arms falling from around your waist.
you heaved sigh, shaking your head.
“come on, let’s get air.” you grabbed his wrist, dragging him towards the door. sometimes this part would get tricky if there was an audience so you opted for taking him outside into the cold.
once the door shut behind you both, tears began to bubble up in his eyes.
“Ko?”
“what?” he bit, bringing his hands up tot shove the tears off his cheeks.
“what’s wrong?” it was a stupid question in reality, you knew exactly what was wrong, you had watched the game from your office desk as you worked. you’d even winced and mumbled to yourself about how you would have at least some damage control tonight when he had completely messed up a serve, sending it clean out of bounds.
but for bokuto? all he needed was that question for him to wrap his arms around you sobbing into your chest.
“they shouldn’t set to me! i suck! and now im crying about it instead of getting better.”
that might have been one of the worst you’d ever seen him after a game. never the less you persisted, wrapping your arms around him and rubbing his back.
“you don’t suck.”
“yes i do!”
“no, you don’t.”
“i do—and now look! i’m crying about it like some baby. these tears mean nothing.” he babbled at you, you needed to snap him out quick, he was being stubborn.
“kotaro.”
“i’m stup—“
“bokuto kotaro.” you cut him off, that got his attention.
he looked up, fat tears sliding down his cheeks as he searched your face.
“these tears? they are not a weakness. they show how strong you are and how strong you’ve been. and when you’re done, look back and know that you were strong enough to overcome what you once thought to be impossible.”
that did it, that snapped him out of his head. he nodded slowly at you, the tears drying up as he moved back, hunching over on himself for just a moment before finally spreading his arms wide open, his chest pumped out and then he was bear hugging you.
“god, you always know just what to say!”
bokuto kotaro might be moody when things don’t go his way, he might spiral. but rest assured, you can always pull him out of his own head.
warnings : angst, that one trope where someone is dared to ask someone out...
author's note : this is kinda buns again but wateva.. also i don’t wanna like beg but PLS GUYS INTERACT WITN ME I RELLH WANNA MAKE FRIENDS 💔💔🥀🥀
you stood, idly staring at the boy before you. you honestly pondered how you even got here.
why were you stood with oikawa toru in the rain at an old pond? a spot you’d frequent on your own, one you knew would get you far away from the world and everybody. a place of solitude. no one cared about the pond anymore, that’s what made it beautiful, the overgrown trees, the algae, the single bench that had withstood all weather conditions and was ever so slightly beginning to tilt forward from the large roots growing under the soil.
why had you brought such a reckless person to such a beautiful spot?
to your spot.
oh right.
that’s why.
it had all started a while back, you had been forced to join a club by your school advisor. you didn’t really understand why. you’d chosen the volleyball club, as their manager, they’d been going for years without one so it was likely they wouldn’t need your help that much anyway.
a low maintenance job, or so you had thought.
shockingly enough, you’d happened to skip the small part where the volleyball club was one of the most prized clubs at your school. something you realistically wouldn’t fit into as you tried your very hardest to stay out of the spotlight, to stay just an average third year girl, you had your three friends and that was all you needed, you didn’t know everyone and everyone didn’t know you. perfect.
but you especially forgot the part about oikawa toru, someone who, up until you’d joined the club, you had avoided hearing stories about his fangirls and such. he seems like a real big bother to you back then and now you were actually spending time around him you knew your suspicions were correct.
but even under all his annoying quirks, you’d found the soft oikawa, the one who had a real passion for volleyball, the one who just wanted to win. the one who just wanted to finally be one the winning court against his biggest adversary, wakatoshi ushijima. it was so clear his confident character, or persona, actually came from insecurities that he so blatantly failed to banish away. as though pretending would truly get rid of them.
what blindsided you even more was his apparent interest in you too. you hadn’t believed it to be true initially.
“would you come on a date with me, please?”
you laughed in his face, talking about how he had to be kidding, because surely out of all his fangirls, out of all of the options he had you had to be the last person he wanted to go on a date with.
“i’m serious.” he deadpanned at you and stared you straight in your eyes. you realised it wasn’t a joke, oikawa toru was really asking you out on a date.
you agreed a time, he would come pick you up, but he never showed. you should have expected that much realistically, why would he have been serious.
later that night, when you were at your desk revising your phone began to blow up with called and texts from oikawa, apologising, excusing his actions, or so you assumed with just the sheer amount he had tried to context you. his texts went unread, you saw no point in entertaining him now.
that was until the next day, he tracked you down early in the morning, begged you to give him another chance, telling you something had happened with the club and he needed to be there.
a part of you knew if that was true you probably would have been informed too, you were their manager. but the bigger more blind part of you sighed, resigned, and gave him a second chance.
yes, that’s how you’d ended up at the pond. you’d decided to go on a walk together.
you talked about everything under the sun, everything that crossed your mind. even though it was starting to rain you didn’t mind, or even panic because you hair was getting wet because talking to oikawa was so easy. so insanely easy it scared you. and you and every right to be scared because it was so easy until it wasn’t, until he said one stupid, selfish sentence that made your throat dry up, like it was stuck to itself, words falling dead on your tongue. it wasn’t like it was a blatant attack yet it still made you feel like something just wasn’t right.
“up until today i thought you were so strange you know?”
you shook it off, surely that couldn’t have been meant in a rude way. maybe he just thought you were interesting, so your prodded.
“strange, how so?”
“come on you have like no friends. you’re kind of weird, people talk about it. especially now your work for the team.”
that really caught your attention. if you had any mind you would have immediately gone off the handle, but you tried, blindly, to chalk it up to poor wording on his behalf.
“yeah but surely you knew otherwise, that’s why we’re on a date, right?” you spoke halfheartedly, trying to lighten the heavy feeling in your stomach. you’d hoped he’d just agree with you.
“no. to be honest i was dared to ask you out.” he said it so lightly. even laughing a little, like his words hadn’t just gutted you.
your ears were ringing. you stopped in your tracks, your head spinning.
“why couldn’t you come yesterday again?”
he stopped after you, spinning around to look at you. “oh—iwa just needed me to do something, once we were done at his place, it was too late for me to come to you.”
so he had lied to you initially because that certainly wasn’t the same thing he had told you earlier that morning.
“i thought it was club related.”
“what—oh—uhm right.” he mumbled something, clearly to himself. you narrowed your eyes but you couldn’t quite work out what he said.
“why didn’t you come yesterday?” you asked again.
“i just told you.”
“no you didn’t.”
“yes i did.”
“you didn’t.” your voice was stern, you grit your teeth and looked up at him, cracking his lie.
“fine. god. i didn’t come because i was distracted with one of my girls. happy?”
one of his girls? what? how many girls was he two timing now.
you knew it was too good to be true, but you were blinded by his charm anyway. you felt so stupid.
"I always thought I'd be someone's first choice, but I'm not even in your top five, am I?" you finally spoke after a long silence. it had taken you too long to formulate the sentence, your head felt light but heavy at the same time, like you would just collapse at any second.
you looked up at oikawa. his expression was unchanged, it wasn’t even apologetic.
you stood, idly staring at the boy before you. you remember how you’d got here, pure blindness.
oikawa toru did not deserve a spot as beautiful as the pond.
authors note : ts is lowk buns... and also not proofread cus uhhhh cba❤️❤️❤️
even at your young age, you’d written off “love.” honestly, what does it even mean to love? it had lost all its meaning anyway, thrown around fast and loose, the genuine meaning of it was gone in your opinion, how could one word even have more than one meaning?
so why, why on earth did your newly found friendship with Wakatoshi Ushijima feel so different?
you’d had male friends before, of course you had. but you’d never felt like this about them. you were extremely close with tendou, that’s how this friendship had even come about. tendou had left you in his and ushijimas shared dorm while he ran and errand, naturally, you and ushijima had started talking and you found yourself curious, craving more conversation with him.
from then on you’d spent a lot more time in their dorm to say the least.
obviously you’d always known about ushijima, after all he was the star player on the college volleyball team. it was kind of hard to not know him. but despite having been around him because of tendou you’d never actually spoken to him before then.
he interested you, he seemed so invested in the conversation while not being overbearing. he was a calmness that’s strongly contrasted tendous, and honestly your own.
typically speaking when you met new people, you naturally put on a facade of sorts. suppressing your natural self so as to not scare them off, but with ushijima it was genuinely different, and that wasn’t because you wanted it to be, if anything you wanted it to be the same, but with ushijima you didn’t feel that need to suppress yourself. there was something so relaxing about his presence.
but you had sworn off love, so these feelings; the tingle in your fingers whenever your around him, the heavy flaps of butterflies in your stomach, the way your face heated ever so slightly. they didn’t make any sense. it couldn’t be that you had feelings because you didn’t even believe in them, or love.
sure, you could admit he was a blatantly attractive man, and that was probably it. that was probably why all those feeling bubbled up to the surface the way they did when you were around him.
tendou, being ever mischievous immediately caught wind of what was going on, seemed he knew the truth, more than you did.
you were supposed to be at some party tonight but you really had no interest, you were only going because tendou absolutely insisted that you go and keep him company. a part of you really hoped that ushijima would be there but you knew better than that, he clearly was not a party person. that being said, that didn’t stop him from tagging along to go buy the alcohol tendou would be bringing, making sure to usher tendou into doing their weekly shop while he was there.
you were also tagging along, planning on buying something to take that you probably wouldn’t touch. while you were into the whole party scene, and drank a lot at them, exams looming over your head and your confusing feelings towards ushijima had left you completely uninterested in drinking or going to parties.
“what are you getting, tendou.” his calm voice rumbled deep in his chest. your head quickly whipped towards him, it was like a knee jerk. why the hell were you acting like this?
“just some stuff, they’re gonna have mixers so i don’t really mind.” he practically sang it back to the taller one. there was something precious in the way they interacted.
“and you y/n?” while you liked the sound of his voice, it was equally as satisfying as it was mesmerising. his words falling upon deaf ears as you just stared at him sort of lost in thought. he cleared his throat managing to rip you from your trance. “what are you getting?”
“oh—right—uhm i’m not really sure..” you continued to scan the bottles, nothing sounded appealing. infact they all made your stomach turn, making you feel sick before you’d even drank them.
“ushi why won’t you come to the party” the red head whined as she grabbed a bottle of something or other.
“you know this, tendou, it’s not my thing.”
“why can’t it be your thing—it’s y/n’s thing, see!” he gestured to you, not expecting you to look to uninterested in the liquor infront of you. “or it was.” he deflated as he stared at you.
“y/n?” the brunette called. you turned to look at him, face still bored.
“yeah?”
“are you okay?” usually, when people asked you this question all it warranted was a ‘yep.’ or a ‘yeah i’m fine.’ but for some reason when ushijima asked you this, it felt like he was genuinely asking because he wanted to know.
“i just don’t really feel like going tonight.”
“oh.”
“say what now?!” tendou exclaimed. “but you have to y/n please.” he was whining now.
“tendou. she doesn’t have to if she doesn’t want to.”
“no i probably should i also kinda wanna socialise tonight, ive been shut up doing revision all week i should probably see people.”
ushijima hummed, looking at his friend, curiously observing the way he lit up a little.
“hey y/n why don’t you go watch a movie with ushiwaka instead of the party!”
“why would i do that?”
“why would she do that?”
you both asked in unison, this only made tendou laugh. you knew your friend was a bit of a lunatic at times but you didn’t realise it went this far. this might have been his craziest idea to date.
“well duhhh. y/n doesn’t wanna be alone or whatever she said and well you’re not gonna be with anyone so it’s perfect!”
“failing to see how this is perfect.”
“you guys have been talking a lot more recently, no? it’s a good way for you to become better friends!”
you exchanged a look with ushijima, it seemed like he was actually considering this crazy idea.
you deflated, “yeah fine. so we’ll…watch a movie then?”
“yeah.”
“perfect! ooh you guys should go buy some snacks!”
—
ushijima shoved into the dorm room holding all the grocery bags, you had offered to help him but, ushijima refused, telling you he could handle it and that you didn’t need to worry.
he placed the bags down on the side and then it got awkward. you both sort of just stood there in silence for a while. if you were being honest, you hadn’t actually expected him to want to have you over. you’d expected him to say a stern no or something, but he hadn’t, had he wanted you here?
you decided you better not entertain those kinds of possibilities as your heart pounded in your ears and your stomach began to flutter. you still hadn’t quite figured out the true nature of your interest towards ushijima and you chose not to give that much thought either, you weren’t going to fall in love so feelings were out of the question.
“take a seat i’ll grab you a drink.”
you nodded, moving over to sit on the couch. he soon walked over with a glass of water.
“sorry we don’t have anything else.”
“no no it’s fine.”
he sat in the space next to you, and then came another awkward silence and once again you were plagued by thoughts of him, he was so close after all.
“what do you want to watch?”
“i’m not bothered.”
“i’ll just put on the movie channel then.”
there was the awkward silence again. ushijima flicked on the movie channel, you could recognise the movie that was playing but you’d forgotten the name of it, you didn’t mind it though.
as the movie carried on your both began to relax but neither of you said anything, watching the movie in utter silence.
a sudden strong wave of drowsiness hit you, this was probably the first time all week you had actually managed to unwind and just sit and watch a movie and do nothing at all.
you slumped a little in your seat your head lolling to the side and eventually meeting with ushijimas shoulder, just as you were about to force your head back up you felt him shift, relaxing just a little and moving so his arm was wrapped around you and your head was resting on his chest. surely this should have been a weird predicament but it actually felt right.
just as you were about to drift into sleep that’s when you realised you were really falling in love with ushijima wakatoshi.
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