Much has been said about the innocence of the Heartstopper tv series since it premiered. In season one, there is no drinking, no smoking or drug use, no swearing (much to the irritation of those who just want Nick Nelson to say f*ck since he does so regularly in the graphic novels). There is also little sexual content, and nothing beyond hand holding and some pretty innocent kissing. But this doesnât mean pleasure takes a back seat in the series, and sometimes finding ways to show physical attraction in subtle ways, leaving it up to the viewer to interpret, makes for an equally satisfying experience. I feel Heartstopper excels in this area, particularly where Nick and Charlie are concerned. There are dozens of these moments and I couldn't possibly mention them all, so I'll highlight my favorites. Feel free to add yours to the comments so we can all obsess discuss. Now, letâs dive right into episode two, where we see the first hints of how Nickâs feelings for Charlie are changing.
Nick seems fairly oblivious to start, but everything changes the day Charlie visits his house and he notices Charlieâs haircut. In the previous scene, Tori said Charlieâs hair looks the same, which leads us to believe that Nick is a little hyper-focused on Charlie's appearance, at least enough to notice a subtle change in his hair length. He doesnât hesitate to reach out and play with Charlieâs curls, and when Charlie asks if it looks bad, Nick starts to blurt out that Charlie looks good, before he catches himself, looks Charlie up and down, then corrects to say the haircut looks great. Subtlety is not a skill Nick Nelson has mastered.
We've all talked a lot about the scene in which Charlie tries to teach Nick how to play the drums, but itâs a turning point for Nick and I think it needs to be mentioned. My favorite part of the scene is when Charlie grabs Nickâs hands and starts tapping out the beat. Theyâre squished together on that little stool, Charlieâs hands tightly gripped around his own, and when Nick finally breaks his gaze away from their hands and looks at Charlie, the realization that something is different is clear on his face, even if he hasnât quite put all the pieces together yet. I love the parallel between their hands touching in this scene and the next.
In the next scene, we see that Nick and Charlie have been sitting on the couch watching movies. Nick seems a little tired when he looks over to see that Charlie has fallen asleep next to him. Perhaps his defenses are down because of the late hour? We see everything start to slowly click into place in Nickâs mind. He starts by smiling fondly at Charlie but quickly lowers his gaze to Charlieâs mouth. His own mouth opens a little and he looks back up at Charlie, considering.Â
They are alone, the room is cozy and quiet except for the movie playing softly in the background, when we see Nick looking at Charlieâs upturned hand, practically asking to be held. Nick canât resist hovering his hand over Charlieâs in this safe space. While the first experiment is short, Nick looks at Charlieâs mouth again after the first pass of his hand over Charlieâs, and he canât resist going back for more. On the second pass, he holds his hand over Charlieâs for a much longer time, soaking up the imagined feeling of what it would be like to lower his hand just a little bit more and slot their fingers together. Is he remembering what it felt like when Charlieâs hands covered his own when they were sitting at the drum kit?
By the end of the scene Nick knows what heâs feeling, and whatâs fascinating is that even after everything thatâs happened so far, he doesnât make excuses and run for the door, yet. Instead, he and Charlie have a lengthy goodbye and a spontaneous hug before Nick finally begins to panic and leaves.
We see a similar sizzle and fizz in episode three when Nick and Charlie are alone in the ballroom and have their first kiss, which is just as tentative and soft and sweet as anyone could have wished for. But while I adore their first kiss, itâs the second kiss that truly shows the physical attraction between them. This second kiss is more passionate, less controlled, and a little messier than the first. They now know they like kissing each other, but itâs too new and exciting to worry about technique and how their mouths fit together. This kiss is full of want, and while itâs still pretty innocent by tv standards, we can see how different this is than their first nervous kiss. Charlieâs hand cups Nickâs face before they kiss, then Nick pulls Charlie in closer by his shoulder. Mid-kiss, Charlie fists his other hand in Nickâs shirt, and when this kiss ends, Charlieâs hand slides down so heâs gripping Nickâs shirt in both of his hands. They donât separate right away after this second kiss and while we can see Nick is a little shocked and awestruck, the panic doesnât settle in until he hears Harryâs voice.
The morning after the party, thereâs an entirely different tension between our boys when Nick shows up unexpectedly at Charlieâs house. Neither is sure how the other is feeling since Nick ran off after their kiss the night before. When they retreat to Charlieâs room, we see Charlie looking at Nick as he takes off his rain-soaked sweatshirt. This isnât the first time Charlie has seen Nickâs body; theyâre on the rugby team together and weâve seen Nick without his shirt in the changing room before practice. But that isnât a safe place to look at another boyâs body, especially not for an out gay kid like Charlie. While the circumstances are not ideal, Charlie canât help but look in the privacy of his own room. Of course Charlie being Charlie, he quickly averts his eyes when he catches himself looking, adding to the guilt weighing on his mind.
Thankfully, Nick and Charlie are back on track the next morning and this time, they can barely (read: cannot at all) contain their excitement when they see each other in form the next morning. Iâm not sure Iâll ever be able to watch them say hi to each other without smiling like a fool â and happily so! A few hours later, we find Nick waiting for Charlie in Mr Ajayiâs art room. Charlie pokes fun at Nick for saying he missed him after only four hours apart, but honestly, if you are Charlie Spring, you are probably bursting with joy hearing the boy you like say this to you! The boys are still all smiles as they banter and tease, and Charlie pulls Nickâs hand to his under the table. This is all really new, and scary for Nick especially, but itâs also exciting and fun, and joyful. They are simply happy to be alone together, to be able to openly flirt and smile and touch, however secretly, in the sanctuary of the art room.
Iâm running out of room for gifs so Iâm going to skip over episode five, since I went into great detail about the arcade scene in another post, and move right on to my favorite episode in the series, Girls. So much happens to advance Nick and Charlieâs relationship in episode six, it almost â almost â could have been a happy season finale.
We first see Nick and Charlie spending time together on a blanket in the park with Nellie. Nick asks Charlie about how he knew he was gay and itâs clear heâs trying to work through his uncertainty about his sexuality. I love how this scene opens because weâve just seen Nick have his big Pirates of the Caribbean moment, after which he watched the vlogger talk about bisexuality. But now heâs ready to open up a little bit more to Charlie. He asks him questions and includes him in the conversation. He doesn't divulge much, yet, but this is the first time weâve seen them openly discuss it, and it feels like a big step that theyâve reached this point.
When Nick gets frustrated with himself, Charlie tries to lighten the mood and takes his hand before asking Nick if he wants to kiss under the guise of helping him figure things out. This moment is so adorable and soft it makes my toes curl, but I also think it shows how comfortable theyâve become with casual physical intimacy.Â
After some playful banter, Nick reaches out for Charlieâs hands and pulls him back down to the blanket. Theyâre out together in public, tucked in next to an old tree for a little privacy. And while Charlie initially looks around before taking Nickâs hand, and their almost-kiss is interrupted before it starts, the lead up to the kiss sparks with attraction. Nick looks like the only thing he wants in the entire world is to kiss Charlie, which is understandable because Charlie looks absolutely kissable!
When I started planning this post, I was only going to focus on this next scene â in which Nick and Charlie are doing their homework in Charlieâs room â because it is packed with little moments that show how much these boys are attracted to one another, but also how far theyâve come in their relationship. So letâs dig deep into all of my favorite moments.
We start off with a beautiful, long shot of Charlie watching Nick. What I love most about this scene is how much time Charlie is given to simply look at Nick and appreciate the physicality of him. In the graphic novel, Nick is caught staring at Charlie in this scene, but I actually prefer that they changed the point of view in the tv series. Weâre given ample opportunity to see Nickâs soppy love face (my favorite thing in the entire world, to be honest) throughout season one, and a lot of the focus is on Nickâs journey. But Charlie is on his own journey, and I think itâs important that heâs given the screen time here. In addition to leveling things up a little bit, I think this scene in particular has special significance for Charlie.
Charlie is an out, gay boy, the only one in his entire school. He had a sort-of relationship with Ben for a few months, but it was always clandestine. They met in the shadows to kiss occasionally but they werenât boyfriends. Ben never came to his house. Ben never acknowledged knowing Charlie in front of anyone. Their relationship was limited to secret rendezvous in dark corners, only on Benâs timeline and on Benâs terms. Even though Nick and Charlie are tucked away in Charlieâs room, and they arenât out to the world as a couple, they have established a relationship by this point and have talked about how much they like each other. As Charlie said in the art room in episode four, it is completely different than it was with Ben.
So itâs because of this that Iâm thrilled that Charlie gets to have focus in this scene. The guy he likes so much is in his room, casually doing his homework, and Charlie is given all the time in the world to just stare and appreciate how attractive he finds Nick. The lighting highlights Nickâs entire body, not just his face, and Charlie just stares and stares and lets his mind wander. He twiddles with his pen and just keeps on looking, and it gives the viewer time to wonder what heâs thinking.
Even after Nick catches him staring, and Charlieâs eyes flick back up to Nickâs face, it takes Charlie a second to get a hold of himself. Then he tosses his pen at Nick to break the tension. In reality, itâs only seven or eight seconds before Nick looks up and sees Charlie watching him, but in a 22 minute episode, every second counts. It feels like a conscious decision to show that itâs a perfectly normal, wonderful, and exciting thing to be able to simply look at the person youâre attracted to and take the time to savor it.
But of course, the scene that makes me feel Nick and Charlieâs attraction deep in my bones comes next, after Nick tells Charlie he told Tara and Darcy theyâre going out. Charlieâs face is a mix of disbelief and joy when he tackles Nick to the floor. Nick gives Charlie the most bewildered look when Charlie breaks their kiss to ask him if heâs sure he wanted to come out to the girls. When they begin to kiss again, Nick flips Charlie over so Charlie is underneath him, completely wrapped up in him, then dives back in for another kiss.
The viewer doesnât see a lot of actual kissing in this part of the scene, but the boysâ body language â Charlieâs arms tightening around Nickâs body, his fists bunched in Nickâs sweatshirt â shows the viewer how different and intense these kisses are. The rest is left to our imagination.
I was doing some digging and I just found this amazing album of prop photos from Good Omens! From what I can gather the site is a community of prop and costume makers, but I didnât see much context for where they came from than that. Iâm so surprised I havenât seen these on Tumblr yet. Theyâre high quality and would make really good references for anyone who needs them. I included a selection here but Iâd highly recommend checking out the album for more!
Been sick all week so getting out of my artmaking rut has been curbed slightly, although your words of encouragement have been very helpful and much appreciated. I did dig this out of its drawer and progressed a tiny bit. He lost an eyebrow that needs to be reworked but fixed his mischievous wine stained grin :)
The people glad about Ben Soloâs death seem to have never once considered - or simply do not care about - the family tragedies of Shmi Skywalker, Padme Amidala and Leia Organa, and how desperately these women hoped and wished for their families to survive and be happy.
Shmi Skywalker was separated from her son and abandoned to a life of slavery by the Jedi, who - choking on hubris and arrogance - couldnât perceive the importance of the woman the Force itself chose to mother The Chosen One. Her love stabilised and nurtured him; without her influence he grew increasingly vulnerable to his own worst tendencies and the machinations of Palpatine. Shmi gave Anakin to the Jedi with a motherâs hope that he would live a better life than the one she could offer him. She never saw him again, and died a violent death.
Padmeâs dream of political justice in the galaxy was destroyed by Palpatineâs machinations. She lost her husband to the Dark Side and Palpatine, too. She died giving birth to her son and daughter, who she so wanted to raise with Anakin on Naboo. Everything she fought for and loved was ripped away from her. She died heartbroken and in the agony of childbirth, her life-force siphoned by Palpatine to keep Darth Vader alive.
Leia lost Padme, Anakin and Luke the moment she was born. Her adoptive parents, Bail and Breha Organa, and her planet were murdered when she was a teenager. Her own father tortured her. As an adult she made her own family, only for Palpatine to steal that joy from her by corrupting her son while he was still in her womb.
Palpatine invaded Leiaâs body and manipulated Ben against his family just as he did Anakin. Padme and Leia witnessed their families be torn apart by the same evil. After Ben fell to the Dark Side, Leia wanted him back. She wanted him to come home to the light and LIVE. No mother wants her child to die tragically young at thirty years old after a lifetime of having the devil in their head. Ben Soloâs death means that there is no hope or justice or promise of life enduring for the Skywalkers.
But that promise existed once. There was a time of joy and belonging and renewal. A united family was born out of the tragedy of the old, determined to make a better world and live with happiness.
We thought The Powers That Be tore apart that happy ending in order to say something important about the cycles of war and trauma and evil and the need for universal balance. Instead, it was torn apart for⌠what? In the end, every one of Skywalker women were denied the family and lasting happiness they sought to create. The death of Ben Solo, after he has realised the error of his ways and COME HOME, erases everything that Padme and Leia (and Shmi and Luke and Han and Anakin and Rey) fought for and wanted. His contrived and senseless death renders their sacrifices in vain and condemns every generation of the Skywalker family to lives of meaningless suffering and heartbreak. To justify Benâs death because âhe deserved itâ is to trample upon Shmi and Padme and Leiaâs hopes and dreams. It dismisses everything they symbolize as as characters - their revolutionary work, their incandescent strength, and their transformational love - as less important to the outcome of the story than an audience memberâs desire to revel in death and revenge.
It is a statement that womenâs emotional lives, and the stories we create about them, donât matter. Itâs hateful and cruel.
As for Rey: she wanted Ben, and she lost him. No other in the world was her equal in spirit and love and potential. No wonder she takes the Skywalker name in the end. To be a woman and a Skywalker is to lose those you love the most, and have men write your story as if youâre an inspiration.
The Jedi invited this curse on the family when they took Anakin from Shmi. The Skywalkers have been bound to that festering cosmic trauma ever since. We thought it would be healed, but itâs still there. It will haunt the Skywalker name forever.
Palpatine wanted to destroy them, and he did. Shmi, Padme, and Leia, and all the rest of the Skywalkers: they never escaped the curse upon their family. They strove and suffered and lost. And now theyâre all gone.
I donât know who made these wonderful family pictures. If you do, please let me know so I can credit them.
Iâm slightly obsessed with @seaskystoneâs Pray for Us Icarus series and was inspired to do a couple of drawings. The first one is from Part 1, which is beautifully sad, and the second one is from Part 3.3, which is a wAR CRIME. (It gets happier but i do love to wallow in melancholy)Â
âJust draw âcause you love it, you know, I think thatâs why you should be doing it. You should always be doing art for the right reasons, um, and with the best intentions. Anything at all is completely possible and I think thatâs what I like about drawing. I think itâs just really fun. You can do anything you want. And thatâs part of, like, whatâs really enjoyable about it⌠is kind of losing yourself in it.â - Gerard Way
Aziraphale and Crowley made love in a French castle once in 1019.Â
They had not known the other was an attendant at the wealthy noblemenâs engagement ball nor had they known theyâd find the other when they snuck off for some quiet in the library tower. Perhaps it was the music, perhaps it was the wine, but as Crowley kissed the line of Aziraphaleâs collarbone he whispered, âJust this once, angel.âÂ
Aziraphale ran his hands through the demonâs long hair and looked over his shoulder at the star-filled heavens staring at them through the window.Â
âYes,â he said. âJust this once.â
Aziraphale and Crowley kissed in an Italian garden once in 1274.Â
The garden belonged to Crowley, heâd found himself in the possession of a beautiful countryside estate, Aziraphale thought it best he didnât ask how.Â
Grapevines grew on the latticework, the ocean could be seen over the hedges. Aziraphale visited only that once, holding a glass of wine made from the very grapevines that grew around them, the sun was setting, staining the marble around them pink and the ocean orange. He still has a bottle of the wine in his cellar. Â
They reached a pause in their conversation, and while Crowley thought of a new topic to discuss, Aziraphale studied the flow of the sunset on his face, the way it illuminated the gold of his eyes. He kissed him swiftly and suddenly, he never noticed Crowley spilled a drop of his wine.Â
âIt felt appropriate for the moment,â said Aziraphale. âDonât worry, it was just this once.âÂ
âRight,â said Crowley, âJust this once.âÂ
Aziraphale and Crowley held one another on an English battlefield once in 1462.
They had been on the same side, you may think this unusual but they found themselves on the same side of a war far less than they found themselves on the opposite. Heaven and Hell liked to pick the winning side.Â
Crowley had taken an arrow to the heart and his corporation had disagreed with its presence. He began to die on the grass far quicker than he could do anything to remove it. Heâd closed his eyes, and he expected to open them to the black ceilings of Hell, but he didnât, when he woke he saw only the unfittingly blue sky above the soldiers as he was cradled Aziraphaleâs arms, his head held against the angelâs beating heart. There was no arrow in his own.
âYou canât be doing things like this,â whispered Crowley.Â
âI know, dear,â said Aziraphale, pressing his cheek against his hair. âIt will only be this once.âÂ
Aziraphale and Crowley danced in a bookshop once in 1895.Â
A wonderful invention such as the âphonographâ had just come to light and Aziraphale absolutely adored it. Finally! Music! In the comfort of his own home. Crowley had been slower to understand, what was the point of listening to music alone?
âItâs like itâs playing just for you!â Aziraphale explained.
âWhat am I supposed to do with music thatâs âjust for me?ââ asked Crowley.Â
âWhat you always do,â said Aziraphale. âSing, dance, only now no one is watching.â
Crowley finished his drink and stood off the sofa they were lounging on. âFine,â he said, âdance with me then.âÂ
He held out his hand.
Aziraphale looked at him with wide eyes, and for a moment Crowley wondered if heâd made a dire mistake. Misjudged. But Aziraphale exhaled, taking his hand, running his thumb over his knuckles.Â
âJust this once.âÂ
Aziraphale and Crowley said they loved the other on a London road once in 1941.Â
They road together in the eerie silence that always followed a Blitz strike. Aziraphale held his case of books to his chest in hopes that it would muffle his heart pounding loud enough to roar in his mortal ears. What he whispered next was so quiet Aziraphale thought for a moment that he hadnât said it aloud at all.Â
âLove you too, angel,â said Crowley after a time. Far too calmly to bring Aziraphale any ease. Â
He swallowed. His mouth dry and his throat burning. âIâll only tell you that this once,â he said.Â
