Valorant Shitposts

Three valorant idiots who do nothing but suffer make a blog, as a treat. Mods strix, eagle, and feud.

[valorantshitposts]

Ask Box is Open!

Feel free to ask us anything, and share your valorant headcanons!

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ATTENTION ALL SPIKE RUSH GAMERS

If you play chamber on spike rush

FUCK YOU

[victorborkowski]

more incorrect valorant with the disclaimer that these are technically for an rp server, but i still think they apply pretty well outside of it to the characters in general, so <3

[valorantshitposts]

Gamers... It is with GREAT joy that I announce: I’M OUT OF BRONZE BABY

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phoenix vibes w/ lil nas x's music. thnk u for coming to my ted talk

we know phoenix is a celebrity of sorts in the story, maybe they’re.... roomates? ;)

[valorantshitposts]

Sorry we’ve been inactive, we’ve all had a lot going on, Glad to see new people every few days going through the blog <3 -Eagle

[valorantshitposts]

since we all know yoru have a motorcycle that is in the ep 4 warm up cinematic

my hc is that phoenix somehow have a cool car. a nissan skyline gtr or a camaro or something

AND THEY GO RIDE OUT TOGETHER -

There's no way that phoenix doesn't have a car that he loves dearly, it's like a child to him. He doesn't like, drive it to headquarters because the likelihood of it being

a) shot with a gun

b) shot with a grenade

c) exploded

or d) literally anything else the valorant agents can do

is extremely likely

but whenever they're on break and socializing? yeah u can imagine jett's surprise when he drove up

[valorantshitposts]

chamber is such a daddy fr

THE TUMBLR MISINFORMATION CAMPAIGN CONTINUES

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Omen on the battlefield may be terrifying, but off he's only able to be described as Formless Entity who Can't Human Good. He doesn’t eat food, he just pushes it at his face and it goes in. He doesn’t get sarcasm, has no concept of a sleep schedule, and doesn’t smell. Like, you don't need to nag him about a shower cause he just. Doesn’t. Not to mention it took a few days to teach him how chairs work. With all this it should make sense Jett was the only one willing to let him stay with her

to be fair, if you were mist that could hold a gun, why would you wanna know about chairs?

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sage sitting across the kitchen table like -_-

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relentless chamber bullying

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relentless chamber bullying

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on god

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in an unexpected turn of events, riot releasing some french guy into valorant like some kind of invasive species let loose in a nature preserve is what sets this blog rolling in its grave so fast it torpedoes back into the world of the living

[floofidumpii]

FRENCH (PARASITE)

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FRENCH (DEROGATORY)

[valorantshitposts]

on god

[valorantshitposts]

in an unexpected turn of events, riot releasing some french guy into valorant like some kind of invasive species let loose in a nature preserve is what sets this blog rolling in its grave so fast it torpedoes back into the world of the living

[valorantshitposts]

on god

[valorantshitposts]

Killjoy's "stay safe raze" is completely platonic

(This is a joke that i thought was funny...yes, i now realize it's a dad joke)

you wouldn't do mod spite like this. bullying. bullying i say

feud