VAMPCORE

[philorot]

Vampire bites

Redraw of this

[fanghusband]

pretending I don't care about becoming a vampire so that it happens faster

[fullmetalfisting]

when i was 10 or so i was deathly afraid of vampires so i stole the garlic powder from my mom’s spice cabinet and kept it in my coat pocket and if i was out at night with like my parents and thought someone was acting really sus i’d try to surreptitiously sprinkle a lil garlic powder on them 

like imagine a weird little girl deciding you failed her vibe check and promptly seasoning you 

[gaytiemcgrath]

absolutely obsessed with this reply

[mrspider-deactivated20221213]

vampire stake to the heart wont work if your tits are big enough

[mochibat]

Yeah, you just catch it

[kool-aidpipelining01]

Nah nah nah, deflects it. Stake? Just bounces right off. Done. Back to doing hot girl shit.

[miss-nerdy-mess-deactivated2023]

Then I just use a spear instead.

[mrspider-deactivated20221213]

you are trying so hard to kill a vampire with big bazongas and for what. why would you do that to the ecosystem

[garrettwrites]

Follow me on Twitter for more vampire nonsense

[shrike-dyke]

human: dude you've been in our d&d group for literally like three years, you don't need to keep asking if you're invited every time

vampire: i knowww, i just get anxious ok?

human: oh fair

[lastsonlost]

I feel personally attacked. Lol

[mrspider-deactivated20221213]

i think if the “classic vampire” like dark, brooding, cloak wearing was a phase all immortals went through before eventually settling down and becoming like, a cat lady with mysterious amounts of accumulated wealth and an aversion to sunlight

[mrspider-deactivated20221213]

like count suckulots comes to granny wrinkletons house in hopes for easy blood and instead shes awake at 3 AM and invites him in for “tea” and is like “i remember my cloak wearing phase, do youngins these days even have castles anymore?”

[casteliacore-deactivated2018080]

What if the sun doesn’t actually hurt vampires?

Vampires are just nocturnal, the same way we are diurnal. A vampire could go out during the day, but they would just rather be sleeping.

Vampires are just afraid of the light, the same way we are afraid of the dark. Their eyes are meant to see in the dark, so they just can’t see very well in the light. It hurts their eyes and they can’t see what’s around them, so it’s just scary.

Some vampire was probably too afraid to admit that he was afraid of the light, so he made up a fake allergy to the sun. Word got out to mortals, so we just assumed that all vampires are allergic to the sun. You know how mortals like to stereotype and whatnot.

But imagine pop, sunny vampires that are the vampire version of goth, dark humans. They like to go out in the sun and wear bright clothes, and the other vampires think it’s metal as fuck. “Oh, you know Victoria Anne III? Yeah she’s totally pop. Her friends call her Susan.”

[writing-prompt-s]

I fucking love this

[cobaltdays-deactivated20210208]

what y’all thinking about fellas

[atavisticem]

So garlic is a natural anticoagulant, but then why would vampires be allergic to it?

Hear me out:

What if vampires made up all the stuff about them being allergic to garlic so that their victims would eat it, thinking it would ward off vamps, but instead it makes their blood easier to drink!

Because it doesn’t clot!

This has really been getting to me recently. Have I uncovered their master conspiracy or am I going insane?

[nyanbinyuri]

you know too much

[gojiro]

Fun Vampire Fact; the reason that Vampires traditionally cannot see their reflections in a mirror is because mirrors used to be backed with a reflective layer of silver — which, as the metal of purity, would not ‘interact’ with Vampires, who are the Devil’s work.

However, modern mirrors have used aluminum as their reflective backing for many years now — and aluminum is not a ‘picky’ metal at all. So Vampires are able to see their reflections in modern mirrors.

[sheepnanigans]

Morrison vampire stuff

Some Morrison worldbuilding tidbits for you:

vampires getting super invested in nutrition so they know how to take care of their humans, and then being horrified at what humans will actually consume:

three-day-old coffee

twenty piece chicken nuggets

one (1) granola bar as a meal

their own fingernails

humans lying about what they eat:

“How do pop rocks even work?” “They’re made of tiny larvae that explode when they come into contact with human saliva.” “… That can’t be real.”

the constant exasperated repitions of “human stuff” or “vampire stuff” whenever they don’t understand each other

humans dabbing garlic on their pulse points when they’re pissed

“C’mon, I’m starving, why are you like this?” “Are you sorry?” “Yes” “What’s the magic word, Clarence?” “Please?”

vampires that forget humans are delicate and accidentally hurt them

humans that act like wounded dogs over minor injuries just to watch vampires fall over themselves apologizing

vampires exaggerating time for comedic effect:

“I haven’t heard this song in forty years” “This came out in 2004″ “It’s been forty years. I have aged.” “You literally have not.”

“When was the last time you did any laundry?” “1965″ “Fuck you.”

telling vampires to “go back to your coffin” when they’re grumpy

humans constantly asking “how did they do this in your day?” about every single daily task

vampires who hoard tools and appliances from the time period they most enjoyed

young vampires flipping off the sun and screaming at it about evolution

old vampires who pull their collars up and frown behind their sunglasses

erroneous threats based on abilities no vampire actually has:

“I’m gonna show up to your wedding as a swarm of bats and shit on the cake”

[scriptmedic]

Would a vampire biting someone's neck be safe? Like possible diseases aside, where would be relatively safe places to bite without possibly causing the person to bleed out?

So the problem with vamp mythology is that vampire bites tend to go  for the artery (the neck, for example), which tend to bleed…. well, a lot. The wrist is another common target. 

But really, nicking an artery anywhere is perfectly liable to be lethal. 

I’ve seen this countered in vampire mythos in setups where the vamp’s spittle is a coagulant, and so they drink and then lick the wound to seal the blood vessel. I think this is a fine idea, and a perfectly reasonable adaptation: if a vamp can keep a victim (or thrall) alive, they can drink from the same well repeatedly, though realize that it takes about 42 days for a human to regenerate the blood lost from a donation, so if they are drinking solely from thralls, they’ll need quite a large group (depending on the volume the vamp needs to consume to stay alive).

Other locations vamps could bite but typically don’t: The inside of the thigh (femoral artery), the foot (pedalis dorsis), the back of the knee (popliteal artery), the elbow (brachial artery), the wrist (radial or ulnar artery), the inside of the ankle (medial malleolus). A good bite on the clavicle could even get at the subclavian artery, but the vamp would  have to come from over the shoulder unless they have bottom fangs as well as topfangs. 

If you have a willing partner, I would suggest you try to put your teeth around places where vampires supposedly bite and work out the logistics of things. Human teeth are designed more to rip than they are to actually puncture, meaning that if you or I bit someone the way vampires are supposed to, we would rip the skin off before we punctured the artery. 

Biting things is surprisingly awkward. 

Also realize that humans require pressure from both halves of the bite pattern in order to actually get the leverage to puncture anything. We don’t just produce a single clean hole, but a whole ring of tooth  marks. Even with elongated canines* (fangs), we still need a way to apply that force, which still implies applying force with the jaw. 

I hope this was helpful! Good luck with your mythbuilding!

xoxo, Aunt Scripty

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