LEAVE 'EM IN STITCHES

† Elias - 27 - Lame as fuckk † same old, same old Selfship acc: @stitchships I like hanging out here I guess

[glitchedstarr]

I'm too lazy to go on tumblr desktop to fuck with my blogs HTML so here's a simple quickie intro I can pin:

♡ Elias/Eli/Stitchy

♡ 27 (Nov 17)

♡ Don't ask me about my gender

♡ Man boob and oc lore enjoyer

♡ Blog is mostly random shit but my main fandoms are Hollow Knight and Sally Face rn.

♡ Major selfshipper go follow @stitchships and if you interact I'll kiss you

♡ I'm not the fondest of minors interacting and I will block if I get uncomfortable

♡ I've been on this same blog since I was 15 years old

♡ Find all my other socials ALSO @ glitchedstarr

[cobaltspartan]

fascinated by jeff the killer tbh. everyone in that creepypasta has generic white usamerican names (jeff, keith, barbara, billy, etc.) except for jeff the killer's doe eyed little brother liu. why is he liu. is liu chinese? it's okay if he's chinese. is jeff also chinese? has jeff the killer been chinese this whole time? am I a bad person?

[karvina]

variations on "feel old yet" meme:

lying (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 36 years ago

lying (undershooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 7 years ago

lying by a ridiculous amount (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 900 years ago

lying by a ridiculous amount (undershooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 15 minutes ago

real date of event no one reading was alive for: feel old yet? the great san francisco earthquake happened 118 years ago

real date of event no one reading was alive for or cares about: feel old yet? prince frederick henry died 395 years ago

event no one reading was alive for and also lying: feel old yet? the great san francisco earthquake happened 4 years ago

event that did not happen: feel old yet? brian mulroney was assassinated 48 years ago

event that did not happen and even if it did this would be a lie: feel old yet? brian mulroney was assassinated 197 years ago

real date of event on a cosmological scale: feel old yet? the sun was formed 4,600,000,000 years ago

lying on a cosmological scale (undershooting): feel old yet? the sun was formed 12 years ago

lying on a cosmological scale (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 12,000,000,000 years ago

real date of a personal anecdote that only you know or card about: feel old yet? i made a really good stir fry 5 years ago

reversal: feel young yet? frozen 3 is coming out in 3 years

reversal on a cosmological scale: feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 8,000,000,000 years

reversal (lying about event): feel young yet? the first episode of spongebob will air in 3 years

reversal (lying about time, overshooting): feel young yet? frozen 3 is coming out in 8,000,000,000 years

reversal (lying about time, undershooting): feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 3 years

reversal (lying about time, really undershooting): feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 12 minutes

real date of a recurring event that wasn't very long ago: feel old yet? halloween was 13 days ago

lying about recurring event: feel old yet? halloween was 10,000 years ago

reversal of recurring event: feel young yet? thursday is tomorrow

reversal of personal anecdote: feel young yet? my laundry is done in 52 minutes

real(?) date of a nonspecific event: feel old yet? something happened 2 years ago

lying about the reader (undershooting): feel old yet? you were born 5 years ago

lying about the reader (overshooting): feel old yet? you were born 650 years ago

making a reasonable guess about the reader: feel old yet? you were born 22 years ago

technically telling the truth about the reader: feel old yet? you were born between 0 and 120 years ago

threatening the reader: feel young yet? you will die in 7 days

non sequitur: feel old yet? half of all chameleon species on earth live in madagascar

non sequitur (lying): feel old yet? chameleons are immune to fire

lying on several levels: feel old yet? chameleons were invented 36 years ago

self-reference: feel old yet? i started writing this post 40 minutes ago

giving up: feel old yyet?th e emmenkr,tn dbw a 8 gn m hk\

i can't finish the joke someone else come up with a punchline: feel old yet?

declarative statement: you feel old.

subversive declarative statement: time isn't even real.

reference another meme: feel old yet? yeah. this is the beach that makes you old.

reference another meme specifically about injecting non sequiturs into long posts: feel old yet? the glue that lets you walk up and down anything was invented 36 years ago

[mevil]

[calidotgov-deactivated20240108]

congratulations piracy

[livefromtheloam]

Ad agency: Please don't steal the King's potatoes, no matter how easy it is.

Regular people: Wait, the King has easily stolen potatoes? How do I get in on this?

Internet users who have been stealing potatoes for years: We made a machine that picks so many potatoes and also that machine is free. Enjoy!

[commandtower-solring-go]

Ad agency: you wouldn't steal a movie?

10 year old me with 0 income and no movie: YOU CAN STEAL MOVIES????

[can-i-make-image-descriptions]

[Image ID: Headline from IFLScience reading: "You Wouldn't Steal a Movie" Advert May Have Led To More People Stealing Movies /End ID]

[geekysteven]

[teaboot]

Fun fact! Both the music and the font in that ad were incorrectly sourced and did not provide compensation to the creators

[dailycatsblog]

[tinyyellowflowers-blog]

After school care pulled me aside about my child dropping an f-bomb “without remorse” and I put on my concerned face and nodded a bunch.

Apparently he was building something with a younger kid “who really looks up to him and is just starting to make friends” and said “Hey, you’re really fucking good at this.” which is, in my estimation, really a parenting victory.

[tinyyellowflowers-blog]

I absolutely failed at doing this:

[oidial]

anything/anyone can be a sheep if you believe

shes a border collie!!! so she takes medicine to dampen her herding instinct!!! except when she doesn't.... ! all sheep* to the sheep corner NOW

*sheep/ sheep adjacent

and some backgrounds! some of you have not realized these aren't apart of the comic and thought i was doing some scary horror 'they weren't real' bit, so i have added a WARNING! <3

OK, TEEHEE, BYE!!!!!

[foxpost-generator]

The phrase "anti-herding meds" is in daily use, thank you.

[64mpg]

me: 🧍🏽‍♂️

my nervous system: we are going to get in so much trouble seriously

[fairweatheralways]

[itwashotwestayedinthewater]

Big Tasty

[gltzgghln]

@wires-walter-the-automaton W HY DO I IMAGINE ACE MAKIGN THIS WHILE DRUNk

[classic-rock-n-rolls-kid-deacti]

Because this is definitely something he would do! He would probably make it for Peter. Also, is that cheese?

[gltzgghln]

i first thought it was butter fsr lmao ace would be on his knees begging peter to eat it, crying and all but peter keeps denying then gene comes in to save peter’s life by agreeing to eat it for him (because there’s no doubt in mind he wouldn’t) and luckily ace couldn’t hear them discussing the plan over his own sobbing ace then looks up and notices it gone, peter then shyly exclaiming “yeah it… actually was really good, i’m sorry ace” and ace is sO HAPPY he gets up to hug peter and peter hugs back, feeling bad for lying to his sweet spaceman but it was kind of worth it at least gene got his midnight snack bc it’s literally 2 in the morning

[itwashotwestayedinthewater]

hey what the fuck are you talking about

[meltedbartsimpson]

oh my god they’re talking about the band Kiss

[cremia-deactivated20210626]

shut the fuck up

[itwashotwestayedinthewater]

THEYRE TALKING ABOUT FUCKING KISS?

[encryptidarchivist]

count dracula? uhhh ok. one

[cool-jpgs-of-wizards-with-swords]

🧛 nathing vrong vith me

[peatbogpirate]

this one's from last year but I just started my rotk reread and this scene makes me giggle every time

[sailatina3]

To a certain extent I get that sexual orientation is socially constructed but I need you all to understand that lesbians still exist and no we will not fuck men or be attracted to men. Im sorry but its the exact same shit as "well gender isnt real so trans people are actually regressive"

And I do notice how this line of logic is used to devalue the existence of lesbians and not nearly as much for other sexualities.

[redstonedust]

wands are like the smartphone of the wizard world, a slimmed and streamlined spellcasting apparatus of the modern era that has many slightly older wizards going "ugh kids these days don't know what it's like to have the sturdy weight of a Staff in your hands at all times. sure its not as portable but at least i can still use it to beat a motherfucker when im out of mana."

[dailycatsblog]

[halondrus]

[cicero-not-cisero]

GIRL THERES STILL TIME