Vampire: The Shitposting

Because a lot of stupid shit happens in game.

[livius-varro]

[vampiretheshitposting-blog]

From logan-lee, Nosferatu be like

[helioraiser]

two versions of the same meme

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When the Anarchs/Sabbat/Malkavians/etc. encounter a delicate scenario.

[i-am-not-a-robot-ish-deactivate]

anyway im gonna fuck nines

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Toreador moments

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Just Ventrue things

[cat-tully]

#same

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This is a Toreador mood

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The only Wareador concept I will allow

[jeffbritta-deactivated20201018]

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No one ever appreciates low-humanity solutions 

[harveykinkles]

BIG FUCKING MOOD

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Malkavians be like

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Me rn

[crazyexedits]

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Ventrues be like

[obscurehistoricalinterests]

Nosferatu - Straight from the warrens, right under your bed

1. You know you’re supposed to be the eyes and ears of the Camarilla, but more realistically, most of the time you’re its headache.

2. The Tremere are so exasperated by your constant hacking into their mails that they now send carrier pigeons to each other again.

3. On the other hand, the rest of your Nosferatu brethren simply send all Nosferatu-related mails to themselves and expect you to hack your way to them.

4. More unwanted than a mirror in a Nosferatu warren - old Kindred saying.

5. Most people live in fear of their nudes being leaked. Kindred live in fear of Nosferatu nudes being leaked.

6. Year 230 BC - the first recorded Nosferatu headshot on an enemy, executed by a huge zit, fair winds and an impeccable trajectory.

7. If the Nosferatu can’t find any nudes to steal, they will simply take some at the opportune time.

8. That’s the only reason Beckett hasn’t been naked since photography was invented.

9. You are forbidden from tending to the warrens’ fungal garden since one of your aggressive cross-breeds got into a biting match with a visiting Gangrel.

10. Ugly, depressed, hiding in their rooms, cannot afford to live alone and accomplished stalkers on social media - the millennials are truly a generation who understands you.

[dutchfruitjar]

When insults had class

These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words. A member of Parliament to Disraeli: “Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease”. “That depends, Sir,“ said Disraeli, “whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.” “He had delusions of adequacy.” - Walter Kerr “He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”- Winston Churchill “I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.” -Clarence Darrow “He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway). “Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.” - Moses Hadas “I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” - Mark Twain “He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends..” - Oscar Wilde “I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend…. if you have one.” (George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill) “Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second  …. if there is one.“  (Winston Churchill, in response.) “I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.” - Stephen Bishop “He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” - John Bright “I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.” - Irvin S. Cobb “He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.” - Samuel Johnson “He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.” - Paul Keating “In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.” - Charles, Count Talleyrand “He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” - Forrest Tucker “Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?” -Mark Twain “His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” - Mae West “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” - Oscar Wilde “He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts… for support rather than illumination.” Andrew Lang (1844-1912) “He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.” - Billy Wilder “I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.” Groucho Marx

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Camarilla insult generator

[sf3]

armageddon

[beep-beepster]

world war 1

[elreyputo]

did muffin really needed to start all that drama

[africanaquarian]

how’d all this happen

[memelzebub]

2016 in a nutshell

[mxnrique]

Game of Thrones could NEVER write something this dramatic.

[vampiretheshitposting-blog]

Camarilla politics be like

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Seeing your rival at court after avoiding being murdered

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Toreadors on Nosferatu