evil bitches only

[duckdotcom]

off to see an evil chiropractor and evil massage therapist because my throne made of a thousand skulls has lots of weird bumps from the craniums and jawbones and it's really fucking up my evil spine

[ulysses-but-somehow-more-transer]

take my ass to torture city where the grass is ouch and the girls are hit me

[armpits-are-crying]

nope. funkytown again

[ulysses-but-somehow-more-transer]

come on

[lakevida]

being asked to leave a physical real life area and calling it a soft ban is pretty good

[miracoll]

[starshipgenius]

They Throw These at me Because I am so Beautiful and a Star.

[orcboxer]

got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?

[internethistory]

[daveedmee]

explosion at health potion factory 0 dead 0 injured

[nocturnaltigerrevelation]

>have problem

>recognize it as part of my divine punishment

>no problem

[yujateaandpi]

Was driving with my grandmother and in broken English she says “no eyes… no nose… no face. Don’t trust.” To which I looked around wildly in search of this omen of ill portend.

Cybertruck. It was a cybertruck.

[itsjunetime]

clowngirl getting an orchiectomy and the surgeon just keeps removing ball after ball after ball after ball after

[estrogenesis-vaporeongelion]

clown nurse standing by solemnly adding each successive ball to the ones she's already juggling

[dogpuppy]

[creature-adjacent]

Carnivorous plants doin this is so funny to me

They don't wanna eat their pollinators :(

[questionablepastries]

[wingkink]

btw it's so fucking stupid you can be anxious physically in your body even after you've decided mentally you don't care. I'm supposed to be in charge here

[dumnslut]

[ur-favorite-fishgirl]

sex is a distraction from your true purpose in life which is to go to the aquarium and look at the fish and go "wooooooaaah.... fishies". cmon guys we all need to lock in.

[sickdogs]

being a kid and hearing adults say stuff like "woah 2011 was 4 years ago haha" didn't really convey the fucking horror of a youtube video crossing my recommended labelled "9 years ago" and it's from 2017. that's not true. 9 years ago is 2010 or something. don't lie.

[c3rvida3]

They tried to execute me yesterday but my ass was too fat to fit in the electric chair so they just told me to promise I'd stop posting stupid shit. Which I obviously did not agree to.