vaneza

a visual journal

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details

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i ran out of notebooks so i’m now writing on a planner, in the january page. it’s my first time using one as a journal; it may be a bit trivial but it’s unfamiliar and the layout is very different and it confuses me how to go about it, but maybe i’ll just see where my pen takes me. anyway, how have you been doing? i hope the world has been kind to you. lately, i’ve been feeling like i’m wasting myself away by thinking too much and thinking nothing at all; running towards everything and nothing at the same time. that’s okay. i’ll keep writing until i reach myself.

in a few days will be my first year in therapy. i was expecting to feel excitement or even fear, but i’m strangely calm—like the ocean before it starts to scream. until then, i’m going to keep trying to find a shelter in my mind. i wish you a moment of rest, too—a short time for you to calm down. i hope you find a blooming flower in your heart very soon.

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3/29 - still in quarantine

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they’re social distancing

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anne, before boarding

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jiufen welcomed us with a cold, cold exterior. oh, how freezing it was being in her arms.

walking on slippery stone, i wasn’t able to watch people as i hoped i would. i was busy trying to protect myself and shielding myself from each drop of the rain.

we were about to leave when we realized we haven’t gone to the main thing that jiufen had to offer. a mei was beautiful, despite the flock of people crowding around it. i’ve seen photos of the tea house during the day, but the night view holds something dearer to me. i was in awe of the hustle and bustle inside the building. it was like a movie. different people in different tables, all producing different auras than the other.

i remember being so satisfied with myself when i took these particular photos. so many stories that could’ve happened in each person’s life in these photos. since then, i haven’t stopped asking myself what they could’ve been feeling a right at that moment.

i walked in that place, hassled and a little frustrated. i came out with photos of people whose moments could’ve been significant ones.

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my friends <3

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something about watching artists do what they love

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january 5th.

shot on iphone xr - 4k music: ichiko aoba - kokoro no sekai ig: @vanezanicole

a little something i made a while ago :) i have a youtube channel now! hopefully i’ll make it to vimeo by next year (hope to have more cinematic content!!)

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inspired by Before Sunrise (1995)

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