the use of AI lately has made me feel so hopeless, i translated pages of an unfinished fanzine of mine so i can remember why i love art...i hope it can resonate with anyone feeling the same way
So I've been participating in an event on discord called "The March Hotel" where for the month of march ,you have to subit a drawing everyday to gain coins that will be collected at the end of the day.
And I want to post all my drawings from that months ,and the comms,and the challenges I did but all in one go after the event ended(we miss u march hotel /golden goblin)
Each drawing has a story only I know and even if I see there's beauty in leaving the story unknown , there's also beauty in leaving
Something that made this special from the others.
Start.
This was my first drawing that I submitted,it was a inspired by a panel from @showbiz-and-souls by @biposi .
I didn't get the pose how I wanted and mug's arm is weird ,and so is cup's ,and the faces were ehh,but I was really proud of how it turned out still !and I even tried to do lie a test for the pose bc it kinda complexe for me, and it was my first full body drawing of cups and mugs tg too and remember this one bc it will be imp with the finale one
Expirment.
2,3,4 was me trying to see how diff looks for the same character change them and diff tiny ways ,like how mugman blinks wasn't working out with me for some reason but was kinda alright with Cuphead even tho I liked how casino cups artist drew them but I couldn't,it made me wonder a lot that even when you do the same thing it will still turn out different ,with a different and a different feeling
Comic.
I like this one a Lot ,I think my favorite form all my traditionals ,it actuallyade in 2 part ,like 2 panels the first was like a meet with sans and the cupbros in the hallway (I even tried to draw the background ) and in the second one we shift to see bendy behind him (and you can see mug's finger on the edge).I drew the first over 2 or 3 day ,and the second one one day .What I love so much about this one is I felt how different they looked ,like I LOVE sand in the second so much I never got him this right ,he feels perfect to me.And when I drew the first Io ed the background and the little gaster blaster ,but when I look at the second,I loved how the plain and clear it was without the background,and it made me debate wether I wanted to put background or not or to remove it from the first.But I decided to leave them both ,to know that there isn't always a better way for something, sometimes it's just good in it's own way ,it doesn't need other things, or the adds made it complete.and I love how I drew bendy here he feel innocent yet still scheming something.overall loved how I could notice the progression,and how even the second looks better it took less time.
Repeat.the first was one I drew randomly cuz I wanted to do smt diff than things that already exist like Cuphead and do smt I don't like doing that much which is humans and bangs.I liked her but thought that was it I didn't know what to add and then I saw a challenge about drawing a character going to a golden ball and to not go weak with the accs .And I was like "she's very plain ,what can I do?.." and then I was let's at least try looking things up ,and I found many ,rose ,diamond necklace ,earrings,patterns , gloves,hair accs ,random sleeve thing bc why not .when I started searching I found only a 1 or 3 of these and then the rest flew in my mind and I remembered things I saw on others like the corset and earrings.And it made me réalisé that you only just need someone to tell you to try smt to just go ahead and do it ,and that just by a little start you find yourself doing do much more that you thought
Boxes
Here it was challenge but I forgot to participate early and couldn't post there later bc it required special roles ,but I still kept following with the challenge bc it was genuinely fun to do and it was on EOF those thing that make you like stare and think"ohh this one feel reaallly good , it's like magic" which is a feeling I got many times when trying things in the challenge or getting out of my comfort zone na drying smt new
It then upgraded to making smt out of like 7 boxes .It was one of the first time I actually made something of my own head completely on that spot ,I even gave it like special features ,it spins and I tried to do some smears to show it.and it was also one of my favorites ever
Ok if you there thank you for reading this much but it felt important to me to leave a little entry to each piece to know how it even if slightly changed smt in my progress and a little memory.Ill post part 2 and more of the rest of the daily and challenges and comms (gambles) later bc I can't post more than 10 pics
Jax wasn't trying to "start shit for no reason". His world was breaking down, he was scared and wanted a taste of normality.
I have some issues with the way people are seeing this scene here. At face value, it does look like Jax just wants to start fighting for no reason and Zooble and Pomni are ignoring him for that.
That isn't what's happening here.
See, Jax's coping mechanism is to keep things predictable, and keep himself in control. All he's ever known in his life was negativity, being yelled at and condemned and shamed for everything he does, and everything he does wrong. He acts out and bullies and abuses because that's what's normal to him.
It's shown right here in this scene,
Jax thought Zooble was going to yell at him. He turned to them, scared, anticipating a scolding or something to the nature of "Get out, nobody wants you here."
But no, Zooble offers him forgiveness and community. He's hit with that reality, the reality that people love him. Zooble is a kind person, not "the grumpy one", and they truly do want nothing but the best for him.
Here he was, antagonizing everyone, thinking they all want him to die. Assigning them roles because he believes they're as fake as Caine is.
Thinking Pomni would laugh at him.
Thinking Ragatha would try to downplay his feelings with her positivity.
Thinking Gangle would agree with Zooble and pin everyone against him.
But no. Jax realizes that the people around him are forgiving and kind and they actually want him around. He realizes that these people... they're actually his friends. That's pretty shocking for someone like him.
He jokes about it, saying "Hah, you guys worry too much!" when they tell him they're worried about him abstracting.
But he opens his eye, and looks at Pomni. The person in the group he trusts the most. Almost as if to ask...
You'd still be worried though, right? You still care about me, right? Even after everything I did...?
In the café scene, Jax was subconsciously testing that. He didn't intend it, of course, because he doesn't have that kind of self awareness. But subconsciously, he was testing Pomni and Zooble. Trying to see if they really were telling the truth.
So, he drops that bitter remark.
"Y'know things were just fine before you and Zooble came along."
But why? Why those words specifically?
Because Zooble and Pomni antagonize Caine. They call him out. And look what happens when that happens! Jax wants to avoid that!
Let's pause for a second, and go over to Ragatha. We're all familiar with her coping mechanism, and she even demonstrates it to Caine!
She's happy, positive, kind, always ready to help, and always ready to give you a little encouragement when you need it!
She's a people pleaser because her mother was a controlling matriarch. She learned that being a little doll, the perfect little daughter, the perfect little friend who never says anything you don't want to hear, will help her survive.
She. Fawns.
And so does Jax.
Jax, no matter how much he denies it, no matter how much he wants to pretend like he's in control, is doing the exact. Same. Thing.
Jax plays by Caine's rules. He gives the circus members their roles. He abides by his own, loyal to being the funny one. He's the perfect plaything, the perfect little cartoon character for Caine.
The perfect circus bunny, performing just for his ringmaster.
And what do Zooble and Pomni do?
They disrupt that. They disrupt that peace. They threaten Caine, they threaten HIM.
Now, let's get one thing absolutely clear here.
Jax HATES Caine. He hates him, he thinks he's a liar, he controls them, he abuses them, he's been stuck here with this controlling overlord that uses him like a fucking puppet for his own sick and twisted desire to stroke his own ego.
I'm sure Ragatha hated her mother as well and never actually cared about her, she only pretended to be positive and happy to appease her and avoid being punished.
Jax pretends to be a sadistic, funny, sarcastic, jerk to appease Caine. To avoid being punished.
"Caine's not gonna do anything malicious, it's not in his nature."
He's scared of what Caine might do to him. So he lies to himself thinking that if he's good enough for Caine, if he's artificial enough, cartoon enough, if he throws away enough of what makes him human, he can avoid punishment.
Now, back to what he said. "Y'know, things were just fine before you and Zooble came along."
Jax waits for an answer, because he wants Pomni to jump at his throat and scold him. He wants to be hurt, he literally uses them to self-harm. After all, his biggest fear is being laughed at by his closest friends.
And to his surprise, they ignore him. They don't engage.
And he's testing Zooble on what they said. Do you really care if I abstract? Even if I degrade you? Even if I'm an asshole to you?
That's the best way to deal with someone like Jax. Just don't engage, as Zooble said. Just ignore him. He wants to use you to harm himself, don't let him do that.
"Okay."
One last offer to give it to him. Let him have it.
But no. Nobody engages.
That is the confirmation in Jax's mind that Pomni and Zooble were telling the truth.
He...can trust them. He can trust Pomni.
So when Pomni starts her plan with Kinger, he jumps up to ask what's going on. Of course he TRUSTS her but he didn't think anything was ACTUALLY going to happen, right!?
Now he's finding out Kinger is actually capable of being sane! He's not a crazy old man!
What the fuck is happening right now!? Gangle is happy, Ragatha is being genuine, Zooble is forgiving, and now Kinger is sane and normal?
And look what Jax does about this information.
He doesn't double down. He doesn't take the bucket off Kinger's head, he doesn't throw a rude joke to catch everyone off guard, he doesn't try to sabotage what Pomni is trying to do.
When he says "Wait!" while Kinger is talking, it's not because he wanted to stop him. It's not because he wanted to distract him or make him crazy again so he'd stop talking.
It's because he remembered that Caine is always watching. He was trying to get Kinger to stop talking because he knew Caine could appear out of nowhere and throw this entire plan out of the window.
So he gets up, and he says,
"I gotta distract Caine so he doesn't listen in on this."
Jax gets up to help them. Jax chooses, on his own volition, under absolutely no pressure or request, to go and volunteer himself to be the distraction AGAIN, despite how much he hated it the first time. Despite how angry he knows Caine is, despite the fact he knows he could suffer greatly if he does.
Just so the others could have a chance.
"I'm never doing anything for you guys ever again."?
Yeah, right, Jax.
This progress is insane for someone like him. And he goes to have a mini panic attack about the fact it's all real, that these really are human beings and not Caine's playthings or his NPCs.
But he still goes to distract Caine. Because he trusts Pomni, he trusts that her plan is going to work.
Because what does Jax accuse Caine of doing?
"You lie to us constantly!"
Honesty is something Jax values so closely that he abandons his coping mechanism and OFFERS to get tortured by the AI overlord just so the others could have a chance.
It's not one of Caine's adventures or some random NPC he's never seen trying to tell him that there's a chance at escaping.
It's Pomni.
He trusts Pomni. Pomni is his friend.
And by extension, he trusts Kinger, and Zooble, and Ragatha, and Gangle, because they're all humans. They're not Caine, they're not AIs, they won't betray his trust like he does. Jax finally was able to break out of his delusion to see that.
Okay so I need to say this before tadc ep 9 comes out,I've had this theory or more of a hope that is : if they leave the circus or the simulation and are alive and we actually see them waking up their human forms will be humans like in reality like a tv show ,not animated which I feel would be really cool and sets the difference that this is a game .(here have this pic so you're not bored from all these words)
AND and I know that of this were to happen which is already a tiny chance ,it would be amazing if the actors that wake up are the ACTUAL voice actors like Michael,Lizzy,..etc but I know that won't happen but just imagine! I had this theory since ep 5/6 and it's more of a headcanon really.
turnnoffyourmind
prguitarman
theartofmadeline
izzy806
gummygunk
baratheonpilled
