oh the vanity!

blonde curls big eyes like brittany murphy

[vanityfaire]

vanity ☆ she/her ☆ usa

yapping about hockey or exy. i <3 my loser sports teams

table of contents

vanity chirps! - answers to my asks. open at all times to all users. im happy to chat about anything. keep in mind this is not a gossip blog.

vanity writes fanfiction! - links to fic that i've written or recommended. i'm @ vanityfaire on ao3 as well. kudos and comments always appreciated but never required

vanity editz! - all my txtposts. ur more than welcome to reuse images, pls credit!

vanity yaps! - miscellaneous blog PSAs

most active on leafs lb and sharks lb

my hockey team tier rankings here

player tags are typically ordered like [current team] [player name] [initials+reg season number]. the only exception to this rule is mitch marner who will forever be mm16 to me i don’t make the rules 🤷‍♀️

pls don’t post my blog on other sites (including screenshots) she lives on tumblr and tumblr is where i’d like her to stay. thank u!

[vanityfaire]

reavo calling mitch marner 'baby' in the year of our lord 2026 i need everyone to get more leafsexes pilled NEOW

[vanityfaire]

getting asked whats your favorite season is the worst because the easy answer is summer but the REAL answer is specifically the kind of summer in offseason hrpf fics that essentially boils down to Let’s Do Steroids At My Lake House :D

[vanityfaire]

“a lot of men going on right now” sean that’s literally the best part

[vanityfaire]

major shoutout to the kid dressed like jarvy in the harvard tank behind the bench 😭

[rimouskis]

happy pride to the nhl player who was preparing to come out and changed his mind. I hope he's happy and loved.

[vanityfaire]

why doesn’t rod the bod have a playoff beard

he’s not a player??? why would he grow one???

he is REALLY serious about manscaping #sponseredbygillette

he does have one but he bleaches it

it’s a sign of religious respect for the hockey gods. much like a monk’s tonsure

what is the point no one is beating nikolaj ehler’s gorgeous face mane

mama have you SEEN his titties i am NAWT looking at his goddamn face

Voting ended on3h

[vanityfaire]

“beats carter hart cleanly on the first shot” GUYS WHO PUT MY FAVORITE SONG ON 🥹

[vanityfaire]

Ryan likes the post of his personal enforcer Will Smith Hockey: http://xhslink.com/o/3sd62q4E15y

he's truly such a sucker for the guard dog treatment. never to be outdone by known brawler gabe perrault tho. and like genuinely i need people to understand how batshit that is

[vanityfaire]

congrats to caleb malhotra for going third oa

[vanityfaire]

*uploads a 1634 page legal document registered to the toronto city court detailing an incredibly messy divorce proceeding between a Mitchell Daniel Marner and a pseudonymous litigant A.T.M.*

[vanityfaire]

the usual suspect (ryan john leonard) at the scene of the crime (wsh annual summer bulk/charity brag/blond exhibition post)

[vanityfaire]

jt bring back the grown out bleach job or the choco syrup youth pastor frat boy flow either way it’s pride month so u have to pick one

[raikkonens]

[vanityfaire]

team canada elimination and kitchener memmer today is a BAD day to be former london knight sam dickinson

[vanityfaire]

look i was just kind of having a day alright

[vanityfaire]

hey friends how do we feel about the slightly brighter blog color is it giving cherry coke or this mitch marner suit