#john tavares

[highdefinitions]

fuck it. here’s another updated version of the idiots list

[allchellies]

i’m so excited for everyone to get super dickiebrini-pilled during worlds. i need hockey canada to understand the social media goldmine they have with sam dickinson and milk him for all he’s worth. i need tons of clips of dickie and mack playfighting at every opportunity and mack’s whiny “dickie!!!!!!” whenever he loses, and the way dickie laughs and tucks mack under his arm and mack pouts like he’s still mad but everyone knows he’s all good once he’s pressed against someone’s side.

i need dickie, mack, minty, and kovie to play cards late at night in their hotel room and get lost on the streets of fribourg and make such a lowkey nuisance of themselves that jt has to play the captain/dad card and scold the kids to behave, and the second he leaves the room, mack swoons dreamily, and the others all groan and berate him for his taste in men because “dude, he’s old enough to be your dad!” and mack glaring back like “so? what does age have to do with anything? that’s discrimination!” and dickie nudging mack and reminding him, “hey, hey, i’m a week older than you, remember? that totally counts!”

i need canada dominating the tournament and dickie finally getting the recognition for his potential that he deserves (and not be known as just another horrible san jose blue liner) and for minty to score at least one game-winning goal and for mack to tackle him to the ice a la marty style in celebration. and i definitely need team canada to win gold, because goddamn it, i want to see mack crying tears of happiness instead of tears of sadness this time and avoid olympics-like heartbreak once again.

[flyersyaoi]

being john tavares is like. i’m a middle-aged man with a wife and three kids. i was once the captain of the toronto maple leafs. i got sued for tax evasion. i was drafted first overall. i’m the most hated man on long island. i’m the reason the OHL 15-year-old exception exists. i was once canada’s golden boy. montreal almost killed me. i’m a lululemon girl. i’m the reason the NHL doesn’t participate in the olympics. i’m running a multi-level marketing scheme for a cursed amulet that repels 5G. i led toronto to its first playoff win in twenty years. the most important tournament i’ve ever played almost ruined my career. i have a kombucha tap in my house. i’m an ambassador for red light therapy. i’m a mother to matthew knies. i slayed the dragon. i’m a hockey superstar. i’m the most important leaf. i’m never going to get what i want. i’m clinically insane. i’m just Some Guy.

[dstrome]

found these hockey cards at my local card shop today, and I'm obsessed? tfw you accidentally hire a romance cover painter instead of a photographer, and just roll with it

[13hischier13]

icymi- Twitter is currently having a field day with the fact that John Tavares is suddenly endorsing a device that is supposed to block WiFi signals to promote healing. see below for some of my favorites!

[johntauvares]

I love my gay little sport

[ursodumbnpoetic]

[punksalmons]