Vanity Incorrect Quotes

[adlerre]

Incorrect Quote Link List

Consolidating my IQ links here. (Also if anyone else wants to help build the KyaLin ship please bug me about them. I'm recently getting into them).

@incorrectagathaallalongquotes, @incorrect-kyalin-quotes, @incorrecttheconjuringquotes, @incorrectcrelosiequotes, @incorrectdovessoquotes, @incorrectgentlemanjackquotes, @incorrecthicsqueakquotes, @incorrectintheheightsquotes, @vanityincorrectquotes Also, if I'm gonna have links here's my AO3:

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Thank you to all the friends I've made through these blogs! (If you're not mentioned below I probably just can't remember your username or we're enemies. Who knows.)

@aca-gay @the-north-girl, @release-the-sheep, @pygmy-puffle, @queenofquestions, @oswinoswalddd, @calexinred, @thegeneralisalive, @paperairplanesopenwindows, @astrestoiles, @thatoneconjuringnerd,

[vanityincorrectquotes]

Vanessa, mentally: Wait is she into me? Quick, make a bad joke and see if she laughs.

Vanessa, aloud: Did you hear about the skeleton who couldn’t go to the party?

Vanessa: He had no body to go with.

Charity, laughs: That’s really funny

Vanessa: ...

Vanessa, mentally: Well, that’s not a fair test. That joke is hilarious.

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Vanessa: You took advice from Paddy?!

Charity: It’s called hitting rock bottom, babe.

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Chas: Who told you that?

Charity: I literally know everything. No one has to tell me.

Chas:

Vanessa: Paddy.

Chas: PADDY!

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Charity, missing Vanessa: Sigh.

Chas: Okay, just stop. You're not even sighing. You're just saying the word "sigh".

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Charity, mentally: Everything's going to be fine. It's just a crush. I’ll just get back to focusing on the pub and I’ll get over her really fast.

Vanessa: Hi Charity!

Charity, mentally: I love you.

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Vanessa: What's your worst nightmare?

Charity: You leaving me and then dying.

Vanessa: I would never leave you-

Charity: And you dating Rhona when you get to hell.

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Vanessa: You ever been tied to a bed?

Tracy: Only by my depression.

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Charity, to Vanessa while trying to teach herself to cook: I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?

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Chas: You’re meddling with forces you don’t understand!

Charity: No duh? Why would I meddle with forces I do understand? I already know everything they know.

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Vanessa: Do you three ever get tired tearing other people down?

Charity: No.

Chas: Not really.

Tracy: Nope.

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Chas: You have to kiss the cutest person in this room

Vanessa: Rhona?

Rhona, blushing: Yes?

Vanessa: Move over, I have to get to Charity.

[vanityincorrectquotes]

Charity: Well you only live once!

Chas: That can’t be the answer for every horrible thing you do.

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Vanessa: Sometimes I let the cat drink the bath water when I’m still in it.

Priest: Once again, a little weird, but technically not a sin.

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Vanessa: Why are you smiling at me like that?

Charity: Oh. I was smiling?

Chas: [groans disgustedly]

[vanityincorrectquotes]

Rhona: Hey Charity! How're you?

Charity: Moving from one crisis to another as elegantly as I can.

[vanityincorrectquotes]

Charity: So I found a fool proof method of determining if someone is truly evil.

Chas: And that is?

Charity: If they dislike Vanessa, they’re evil.

Chas, nodding in agreement: Yeah okay, that’s pretty solid logic.