Wolfing's life

A little blog to help me understand my own madness

[vanwolfing]

Raunioiset Neck Warmer Review: A Beginner-Friendly Introduction to Cables and Charts

[vanwolfing]

Little Women and CAWPILE

Hello all! I think I am back. I was in therapy and realised how much I miss writing on a day to day basis. So I decided to start it back. Currently my goal is to write only book reviews and write them based on the language in which I read them. That means that if I read a book in Estonian then I write the post in Estonian and get it translated to English for this blog. My most recent read was…

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[vanwolfing]

Teacher who has been teaching for more than a 100 years

I have found my calling as a teacher. I am also studying special education at university, but mainly I have acquired my skills by reading, working, and recalling the methodologies of my teachers. To my disappointment, the best teachers are still books and the method of trial and error. Therefore this is about one of the most inspiring and thought-provoking books that I now want to write…

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[a-touch-of-undeath]

Reblog if you're an active kemetic / electic paganism with kemetic gods because I need more kemetic friends in my life.

[unmaskingthedivine]

Shadow Work Mega-Masterpost

Behold! A compilation of virtually everything in my shadow work tag to date: 

Original Content

Disclaimer

Shadow Work Masterpost 

Beginning Shadow Work Masterpost

Shadow Work Exercises Masterpost 

Internalizing Shadow Work

The Shadow and the Inner Child: Part I and Part II

14-Day Shadow Work Challenge

Stones for Shadow Work

Core Beliefs

Resolving and Eliminating Core Beliefs

Thoughts on Shadow Work (# 1)

Thoughts on Shadow Work (# 2)

Thoughts on Shadow Work (# 3)

A Warning Regarding Shadow Work

Let’s Talk About “Positive” Shadow Aspects

Dissecting Positive Traits

Let Me Make Something Clear…

Guidelines* for Successful Shadow Work (*)

Cooperative Shadow Work

Overcoming Fear

Shadow Work Related Asks

How do I begin shadow work?

Is a dedication ritual necessary?

Advice on distinguishing between shadow and depression?

When starting shadow work… ?

Could I have stumbled upon my shadow [in a dream]?

I’m going to start shadow work– but I’m scared. Any advice?

Do you know how to deal with embarrassment with shadow work?

Shadow Work Related Videos/Discourses

Facing Your Own Shadow - Alan Watts

Shadow Work Related Videos - Teal Swan

What is Shadow Work?

Shadow Work Related Quotes/Excerpts

From ‘The Temple of Shamanic Witchcraft’ by Christopher Penczak

► Facing the Shadow 

► The shadow is not evil

► Facing the dark

► Partnering with shadow energy

► Closet analogy

► You might want to pull away

► Energy is neutral

► The shadow is a constant ally

From ‘Tarot Shadow Work’ by Christine Jette

► The Shadow Knows

► To catch a glimpse of your shadow

► The only requirement for shadow work

► Working slowly is essential

Shadow Work Related Content by Other Tumblr Users

Shadow Work I: A Series of Little Deaths by @duskenpath

Shadow Work II: Types and Terms by @duskenpath

Shadow Work III: Timing by @duskenpath

A Shadow Work Technique by @buterfligurl

Mastering Your Inner Shadows by @starlightsilver

Shadow Work Related Divination

Dragon Rune Spread from spiritedenterprise.com

Shadow Self Conversation Tarot Spread by @arcanemysteries

Obscure Sorrows Tarot Challenge by @reinedelair

[unmaskingthedivine]

Let the challenge begin…

Okay, so apologies if this is difficult to read. You can see a text post with more detailed guidelines here; I just wanted to make a short and sweet photo post. 

I will do my best to promptly post my daily challenges for reference purposes if nothing else. I would love to see what any participants come up with, so if you feel comfortable with doing so, share your daily challenges and tag #shadowworkchallenge. 

[owlwomantarot]

Oooooof. Yeah that's about right.

[adamjk]

[vanwolfing]

This aligns with my own goals so much I had to share!

[legsdemandias]

Friendly reminder that the reason you feel so much better is because of your meds, don’t stop taking them unless you talk to your doctor first, you really do need them, I promise. 

[legsdemandias]

Around June I stopped taking my eye medication because I hadn’t had a problem with my eyes in months. I got really lazy about doing it; then I stopped them altogether.

Turns out, the reason I stopped having problems with my eyes was because I was religiously taking my medication. Whodathunk. Now I have to work to get back to the place I was before I decided I was “better” (I wasn’t!).

If you thought this post was just about anti-depressants or lithium, it could be! For me, this post is about eyedrops, for you it might be about antibiotics, or it might be about zoloft. Whatever it is, please consider talking to your doctor before making a sudden shift to stop taking it. It’s not bad to be on medication. It’s not bad to need it. 

[vanwolfing]

It's so important to remember that there's more medication than just ones for mental health.

[vanwolfing]

To be read 2020

Hello!

Today I want to write about books because I’ve recently started reading a lot again and it’s always such a pleasure to read bookish content :)

This year I thought I would try a different way of reading and that is actually by having set books for each month that I have to read during the month and review for you and then I will have some extra books that are on a running tbr and will read if I have time amongst the other books I am reading. This running tbr will also include articles or magazines and might not always end up as a review.

But here are the books I definitely am planning to read in 2020:

January: “Everything Is Fucked” by Mark Manson February: “American Gods” by Neil Gaiman March: “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck” by Mark Manson April: “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” by Robert Kiyosaki May: “Hackers & Painters” by Paul Graham June: “CODE” by Charles Petzold July: “the Millionaire Fastlane” by MJ DeMarco August: “New Moon” by Stephanie Meyer September: “Leadership Wisdom from the Monk Who Sold His Ferrari” by Robin Sharma October: “Miracle Morning” by Hal Elrod November: “Eclipse” by Stephanie Meyer December: “Machine, Platform, Crowd: Harnessing Our Digital Future“ by Andrew McAfee and Erik Brynjolfsson

I was hoping to add books that would be newer and also some that would be older and my main goal when creating this tbr was to create a list that would be mostly educational but also would bring me back to the times when my only entertainment in life was to read books.

In addition to these books I have also decided to read some NetGalley books if I manage to finish some books before my monthly goal and also starting to familiarise myself with listening to audiobooks online. Currently I am reading “Everything is Fucked” by Mark Manson and listening to “The Great Gatsby” by F. Scott Fitzgerald. I am also trying to revive my writing schedule because I’ve managed to mess it up a little but oh well... Life happens.

[vanwolfing]

From the circle of life to the meaning of life

Last night I was talking to a friend and he encouraged me to write about this, so here we go. To give you a little background we were talking about the structure of life or I guess even the meaning of life in a very philosophical way :D And we both had very solid ideas of how life could work and I presented a way to combine both of those ideas. I believe I have written about it in my previous blog but I honestly can't remember, so it definitely doesn't hurt to write about it in a more adult viewpoint.

There are two ideas needing to be combined here. Firstly, the idea of the circle of life. The idea here is that life is a circle and our main goal is to break through of those repetitive cycles. Secondly, there's the idea of life being a journey or like a tree, a winding road, and so on. Essentially we live a choice based life and each choice in your life gets you somewhere.

During my so far short life I've managed to believe both of those thoughts. Previously the idea of the circle of life seemed very valid. Nowadays, I have been believing the second idea of being on a constant road but yesterday whilst being half asleep and philosophising, our conversation concluded that maybe both combined are a very valid ideas in itself.

So here's how I am seeing it now.

Life is a journey. Every choice in your life advances you in the bigger scheme of things. You learn to cope with life, you learn to do different things and you become a better person... well maybe not better but you grow as a person and therefore your story advances. However, one cannot forget about the lessons to be learned. With every choice and every event we have to conclude something and learn in a bigger scale, not just how to be a more evolved version of yourself.

For example, with my second relationship I learned what my mom went through whilst being in a relationship with my father. I needed to learn that because I was very close to ruining my whole life with similar patterns and to be quite honest with that person, only to later find out how much damage that period of my life did to my mental and physical health, how much time I wasted on doing absolutely useless things and I also learned what I never ever want in a relationship again. I broke a pattern and learned a lesson that my mum learned after 20 years of wasted time. During that relationship I learned a lot about myself and relationships but the real lesson in that relationship came from somewhere else.

So in life, it's the bigger lessons we learn. The lessons that destiny(I guess destiny is not the best word because you either believe in it or you don't, but it's the best name I can give to it) has forseen for us. If we don't learn those we get stuck in the circle of life. What that means in my theory of life is that no matter which path you chosse life wants to teach you the same lessons over and over again, each time hurting you more and each time making it harder and harder to understand what life is trying to teach you.

When one reaches to that point it's wise to take the time for just yourself and trying to generalise and try to see what are the repeating factors. In case of the example I brought earlier I took a step back and saw the similarities between the person and my father. I don't think that my ex is a bad person and I am not trying to make him seem that because I believe that he can be a lovely partner but for someone else.

So to summarise this ramble... Life is a journey and some lessons need to be learned and life will not give up until you learn those lessons.

[my-aesthetic-vibes]

The best comic of the year 2020

[vanwolfing]

The Adventure Starts Here

Hello and happy 2020 to you all!

I thought that this might be a really good post to be the intro to today's blog post :D

This is the first year where I have written out proper resolutions and that even before the year started. I wrote out some of them when I realised that I needed to fix my mental and physical health and when I concluded that things have gotten so stressful that I need to prioritise myself and my health to keep on moving.

So this post will probably not be too entertaining since it is just me setting the stage. It will contain all of the apps I will be using and all of my starting measurements, I will also talk about my plans for my weightloss.

First things first here are my current measurements:

Bust: 117 cm

Chest: 134 cm

Waist: 136 cm

Hips: 145 cm

Thighs: 71 cm

Upper arm: 41 cm

I will keep you updated each month with a longer post of how I've been doing and measurements.

So my plan of action is quite simple. Firstly I will start changing my eating habits and by this I will be tracking my health in an app called Yazio(https://www.yazio.com/en). I have been using it on and off since last year and I really enjoy the design of it. Secondly, I will be fixing my sleep schedule and I will be tracking my sleep cycles with Sleep as Android (https://sleep.urbandroid.org/) to figure out what's wrong with them in the first place.

The reason why I've started tracking sleep is because I absolutely can't feel completely rested and therefore I want to see whether it's just the fact that I don't get enough hours or is there something else going on. Also I love to watch sleep data :D

For workouts I will be keeping it minimal in the beginning. I will be aiming for 10 000 steps a day and following some smaller workout routines from youtube. Something simple and short to start out the habit and start to enjoy it on a simpler scale.

I will also start thinking of how to track the state of my mental health, like stress levels and mood in general and things like that. I don't know yet how since I would like everything to be in one place. So if you have any recommendations then let me know.

I hope you had a great New Years Eve and when it comes to the next health update then see you in a month :D

[vanwolfing]

Countdown to 2020

Hello!

I don’t think many of my previous followers don’t have any other personal connection with me, other than the pictures I’ve posted and probably many others have stopped following me after the bigger changes that were made to Tumblr last year. Some of my readers might not even use Tumblr and that’s fine too. I hope that everyone reading will enjoy their stay here :)

Anyways… Today I wanted to open up a little more and write about the few things I’ve done in preparation to the new year and post about some of my resolutions for the new decade and also for the new year.

Getting ready for 2020

So here are a few things I’ve done in order to get ready for 2020. Most of the things I’ve already done and the last few things I’m planning to do within the last few days.

Decluttering my room

Not only have I managed to declutter I’ve also switched rooms with my brother. I honestly couldn’t be happier with the desicion because I’ve needed a bigger more mature room where I could start as a new person. I haven’t completely finished it yet and the goal wasn’t to 100% do it before the new year but the goal was to make it livable before that and so it is. There is still a lot left to be done because I want to get rid of as many things as possible and therefore there is a lot of things to be thrown away/donated but as a preparation I can check that one off the list.

Closet cleaning

With switching my room I got the luxuries of owning a closet in the same room where I sleep in. Which honestly is a huge upgrade in itself. Whilst I was switching out my old closet which was in the hallway of the apartment to my new closet then I also decided to get rid of a lot of old clothes and I am planning to reduce the amount of clothes I own even more. I want to get down to just the staple items where I can make most of my outfits with only a few pieces of clothes. Maybe that mentality will change over the years but this is definitely my current goal.

Create a finance tracker

I want to create a finance tracker because I want to increase my earnings but I can’t do that without knowing my current spendings. Therefore I want to create a tracker which is accessible both on my phone and on my computer and that I won’t quit after two weeks. PS! Let me know if you have any suggestions on some apps or programs or Google Sheets layouts

Figure out a weekly schedule for this blog and for my life really

I want to figure out a weekly schedule for writing to this blog because currently I feel like posting once a week doesn’t satisfy me and therefore I need to figure our how my life will start flowing on the new year and when to start posting on this blog. The schedule will start to form once I have more statistics on when I am getting a more steady flow of reader statistics because currently they are very all over the place.

Finish up all loose ends from 2019

By this I mean finishing all of the things that I can do before the new year startds and that don’t really require much extra effort other than taking the time and getting it done

Goals for the new decade and the year

Wow, this is already quite a long post but I’ve figured out how to plan out my blog posts so now they all should have some more content and should start getting more and more interesting… hopefully.

Anyways these are in no particular order and they are goals for both the new year and also the new decade. 2020 will be the year when I will reinvent myself because I’m done living the way I have been so far.

Blog goals

Get the first 100 views for this blog

Figure out a schedule that works with my work and school times

Get some income from this blog

I don’t want to earn my whole income from blogging, although that would be nice. I just want to prove myself that it is possible for someone like me to earn some extra money just from sharing my ideas online.

Health goals

2020 will be the year where I will improve my health and this will be a whole new journey which I have planned out. My biggest fear in regards to this is that a year is such a short period but anyways.

I want to work on improving my mental health

Lose 12 kg

Learn how to meal prep

Start working out

Having a steady sleeping schedule

Other goals

There are a few more goals that I don’t want to put into a bigger category because they don’t fit together too well.

Create a nice planning workflow

I am using this Moleskine planner for my main planning but I also want to figure out how to bring the technology into it as well.

Travel to St. Petersburg with my friends

Get my driver’s license

[vanwolfing]

Wolfing Watches: Weathering with You

Hello again!

Today I went to the cinema to see Weathering with You.

Some facts about the movie:

Directed by Makoto Shinkai

Published: 2019

Running time: 112 minutes

Personal rating on Letterboxd: 1.5

I went to see this movie with great expectations since I've seen some of his previous works and quite enjoyed them. I also quite enjoy full length animes, definitely more than I do series. However, this time I was up for disappointment.

Firstly, let's talk about the things I did enjoy though. The artwork was amazing but so far I haven't seen an anime with bad artwork. I also enjoyed the music but that was mostly it, because the rest of the movie raised a few questions or just gave a bad impression.

Personally I found this movie exteremely plotless. There is no backstory for the characters whatsoever. We don't know what got to them to this point and it keeps bothering the watcher because the previous times and some of the actions of the characters are based on their past which we dont know. The movie opens up at one point and tells us about the history of one character who even isn't that important to the bigger picture anyways.

The movie also seemed to make a bigger deal out of very irrelevant things or even if they were relevant then it didn't explain them any further. The main issue that kept popping up over and over again was the fact that the main characters were underage but never we found out why it was that important to the main storyline. Yes, I do get it that children living on their own without any guardians is not good but why bring it up as a huge deal on the last 30 minutes of the movie and never explain why those kids decided to live on their own or what brought them to this situation.

When I am watching a Japanese anime I usually am looking for that deeper meaning in this soft surface. I want to learn something from it, even if at first it's hidden from the viewer. I have seen plenty of animes where the meaning itself is hidden in a form of a metaphor or a symbol in the movie and this time the movie was completely lacking it. It was even lacking a more general message. In my opinion they had just taken some details and ideas and just put them together in one what seems to be a coherent story on the first glance but ends up being a complete mess. I feel so sad to say that but in regards to this movie I wish I could get my money back.

[vanwolfing]

Happy holidays!

Happy holidays to everyone! Hope you're having a great time with your loved ones.

[vanwolfing]

Let’s get acquainted

Hello again!

I know I wrote just yesterday but in order to get this blogging thing started I want to get properly acquainted.

I am a 20 year old life questioning computer science student. For anyone interested here’s a link to my github. I’m hoping to start working on my own projects a lot more starting January. I have many ideas and we shall see how many of those I will be able to finish next year.

I also work as a robotics and computer lesson teacher in two middle schools. I am in love with both of those jobs. I am also trying to start earning from the side with some other little projects, this blog for example.

During my free time I like to read and practice my bass. I’m hoping to write about these adventures as well since it has been a while since I’ve done both properly in a while.

Yesterday I mentioned that I have some plans for this blog already. First off, I want to keep all of the things I have created here so far. This blog has served as my just inspiration blog for such a long time that it would be a shame to just delete all of that and never speak of that again. There might be some posts that would make me want to write about more in depth now that the purpose of this blog has changed. Secondly, I would like to start writing in depth movie and book reviews on here and also on my goodreads and letterboxd accounts, all of these reviews will be posted here and will somewhat differ from the ones on those respective sites.

Since my main focus for 2020 is better health and fixing my life in more ways then one :D Then I want to also write about my health journey. I will probably give a longer status on that in my next post.

[vanwolfing]

Welcome back, Wolfing

It has been a while since I've been blogging. However, it's time to come back and this time I'm trying Tumblr.

Over the next few days there will probably be a lot of changes to this blog and the way it looks but there are a few topics I already know I want to write about.

So I hope you'll enjoy this as much as I will and I hope to write to you soon.