InnerTalks

A way to communicate with my roomies in this body. Self diagnosed DID system, just trying to figure out what the hell is going on.

[yourdivergentneuron]

A lot of people will never know how fucking devastating it is to lose your youth to mental illness. I should be glad for them but mostly I just feel bitter

[inkskinned]

ive been on tumblr a long time and i remember when everyone said “oh don’t romanticize mental illness” and it was agreed that doing that was gross and a good way to kill people indirectly

but somehow we’ve come full circle and there are people who legit defend their right to be anti-recovery there are people who don’t want to get better and spread the idea that you can’t get better as if it’s gospel and it’s fucking frightening to me bc nobody seems to want to say “hey? this is toxic and untrue and is your disease speaking, and it’s not something you should accept.”

and i feel like every recovery post gets about 500 of these people saying “this isn’t something that will work” “cool karen i’m depressed” “maybe it worked for you but it won’t work for other people” and that’s… just… im so sorry if you’re 15. i’m sorry if you’re in high school and watching grown adults tell you it doesn’t get better. that nobody says that with time and help and patience the world stops being so heavy, that accepting your illness as a fact is one thing but accepting it as the only way to be is just wrong, that you can learn to live with it and still find some degree of “happy”…. if i had seen this shit back when i was … oh god starting at 12 when i was already self-harming …. i think i’d have actually honest-to-god killed myself. not a joke, not a funny tumblr punchline, i would have actually just killed myself. 

i’m saying this right here and right now to the adults on this site. if you for any reason shoot down positivity that’s causing no harm - you might have indirectly worsened someone else’s condition, and you should try and do better in the future. if you find it necessary to tell people “recovery is a lie”, you need to do better. i know everyone has different circumstances, but i also know that mental illness behaves in such a way that everyone thinks they can’t recover.  if you feel like you should be spreading the Word Of Relapse, you are causing toxic language to be normalized and you need to do better. 

im team “cool karen ive got depression and that means i’m going to try this because i’ve got to try something” i’m team “romanticize recovery” i’m team “it isn’t working now but it might in the future and it’s worth staying to find out” im team “hey this didn’t work for me but it might help somebody else out”

fuck guys it shouldn’t be an unpopular opinion to say “i don’t want any of you to die”.

[stephrc79]

Oh thank fuck someone finally said it!

[perpetual-allegory]

I kind of wish that the idea that you can just be was a little more mainstream.

Like, having drive and ambition is great. But it gets drilled in kids’ heads that there is some pressure to constantly be looking for the next move up, to be bigger than life. It wears you down to never be satisfied.

Not everyone is destined for greatness. It just doesn’t suit some people.

There’s nothing wrong with having a quiet life, making enough to get by, having a small apartment where you’re comfortable, and just living. You don’t have to constantly be looking to go onward and upwards. Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is to just be.

[variousatonce]

Therapy group

I am in a therapy group of reflection, about gender violence.

Today the topic was about sexuality and sexual abuse.

I felt really triggered.

It was hard to listen about all these women experiences. It was so hard cause it reminded of myself a lot.

It's hard to think of my experience as an actual fact that really happened and actually affected me so deeply that intervenes with every aspect of my life by the simple fact of getting my self-esteem away.

My value as a human being has been ripped off, and It's been so hard to reconstruct my mind, my feelings, my life, to be free of that chain.

I cried a lot in my way home.

I has being abused as a child. I has been abused as a girl. I has been abused in a subtle but deep way.

And I still after all these years, even now as a man, it haunts me.

It screws up every relationship I have.

I am angry, I am sad. I am scared.

It's not fair.

[variousatonce]

Taking medication for mental illness be like:

You take 4 different meds and mess up the dosages taking the one that is prescribed for morning in the night

[baawri]

Say no to stereotypes, be happy everyday! [x]

[thick-thighs-and-french-fries]

Cant reblog this enough

[sweet-cherry-fairy-deactivated2]

I love that this shows both sides, how society is ingrained to see women as baby-makers and men as walking wallets who’s only worth is if they make good cash. Both are equally demeaning and limiting in different ways. 

[variousatonce]

Anxiety early in the morning

I think I care a lot about parents. It affects me so hard to feel that they just don't want to understand. I try to understand them. Because they are another generation, they come from their own experiences but the lack of comprehension hits me. They are abusive but they don't know they are. It's completely accidental. I get that. But it hurts anyway when they belittle my problems and feelings, and my desire of better communication with them. So I ask myself if it worths to get to them, or I'm just using too much energy to keep our relationship glued with the hope of their redemption (?) I want to believe that they love me, or even like me, but is hard to see, and to feel it. I was starting to feel very supported by them, but it looks kinda fake now with my mom saying bad things while drunk and my dad trying to avoid making contact with my feelings. Are they scared? I think they are scared of the guilt. Because in some way they think that they failed at parenting... Because of me... And I feel guilty about being the way I am because maybe I ask too much. I ask for too much, and maybe I should accept that they don't have the capability to fulfill my needs. They have give me everything I need to live comfortably and safe. And I'm grateful. But what I need is... Comprehension. Support... Love. Is it my fault being not able to see that in our family? Is it that I'm the problematic who takes everything too personal, like my mom said? Am I oversensitive? Am I wrong for asking for help? Do I overreact to everything?

[callistomist-deactivated2020091]

I decided to create a masterpost that would help you with what you are struggling with. Hopefully any of the links below will help you! Reminder; You’re going to be okay. What you are going through will pass, just remember to breathe. 

————————————————————————————-

Distractions;

Here are some distractions to help keep your mind occupied so you aren’t too focused on your thoughts. 

-Draw something

-This website translates the time into colours.

-Create your own galaxy.

-Play flowing.

-Make a 3D line travel where ever you like. 

-Listen to music.

-Calm.

-Ocean mood, do nothing for two minutes.

Sleep issues; 

- 8 hour sleep music.

-Rainy mood. 

-Meditation.

-Coping with nightmares.

-How to cope with nightmares, 11 steps.

-Calm

-Foods that can affect your sleeping, both positive and negatively. 

  Uncomfortable with silence; 

-Rainy mood.

-10 hours of rain and thunder.

-3 hours of rain and thunder.

-Human heartbeat.

-Rainforest.

-Sound of rain on a tin roof.

-Autumn wind.

-Rain on a tent

-Traffic in the rain.

-Soft traffic. 

-Fan.

-Train.

-Simply noise.

-My noise.

-Rainy cafe.

Anxiety; 

-How to stop worrying. 

-Tips to manage anxiety and stress.

-The 10 best ever anxiety management techniques. 

-Self-help strategies for anxiety. 

-Helping a friend with anxiety. 

-All about worrying.

-8 myths about anxiety. 

Sad, angry and depressed/depression; 

-“I’m always sad”

-Feeling sad.

-Going through trauma.

-“I’m always angry”.

-Anger management. 

-All about anger.

-National helplines and websites.

-Self-help strategies for depression.

-Dealing with depression at work.

-Dealing with depression at school.

Isolation and loneliness; 

-Pets and mental health.

-All about loneliness. 

-“I feel so alone”

-10 more ideas to help with loneliness. 

-How to deal with loneliness.

  Self-harm;

-Alternatives to self-harm and distraction techniques.

-146 things to do besides self-harm.

-More alternatives to self-harm.

-Self-harm alternatives.

-How to take care of self-harm wounds/injuries.

-Getting rid of scars.  

Addiction; 

-How to help a friend with a drug addiction.

-What is addiction?

-All about alcohol and addiction.

-The facts about drug addiction.

  Eating disorders; 

-Helping a friend with an eating disorder.

-Eating disorder treatments. 

-Support services for eating disorders. 

-Self-help tips with eating disorders.

-Eating disorder recovery. 

-Recovering from an eating disorder. 

-100+ reasons to recover. 

-Understanding and managing eating disorders. 

  Dealing with self-hatred;  

-3 ways to ease self-loathing. 

-How to turn self-hatred into self-compassion.

-Self-hatred resources.

-10 step plan to deal with self-hate. 

  Suicidal; 

-International suicide hotlines (1)  (2)

-Preventing suicide. 

-Reasons to stay alive.

-Dealing with suicidal thoughts and feelings.

-Coping with suicidal ideation.  

  Schizophrenia;

-All about schizophrenia.  

-Helping a person with schizophrenia.  

-Understanding and dealing with schizophrenia.  

-Delusions and hallucinations.  

OCD;

-Managing your OCD at home. 

-Overcoming OCD.

-How to cope with OCD. 

-Strategies for dealing with the anxious moments. 

Borderline personality disorder; 

-Helping someone with BPD. 

-All about personality disorders.

-Treatment for BPD.

Abuse; 

-Healthy relationships VS abusive relationships. 

-Emotional abuse

-Overcoming sexual abuse. 

-Hotlines services. 

-5 ways to escape an abusive relationship. 

-Domestic violence support. 

-Signs of an abusive relationship. 

-What do to if you’re in an abusive relationship. 

-Surviving abuse. 

-What you can do if you’re sexual harassed. 

-Sexual assault support.

-What to do if you’ve been sexually assaulted or abused. 

  Bullying;

-How to stand up against bullying.

-How to protect yourself when it comes to cyber bullying.

-How to help stop people bullying you. 

  Loss and grief; 

-How to cope with a suicide of a loved one.

-Grieving for a stranger. 

-Common reactions to death. 

-Working through grief.

(Other loss and grief)

-Moving away from friends and family. 

-Coping with a breakup.

  Getting help; 

-Seeking help early. 

-All about psychological treatments. 

-Types of help.

-All about age and confidentiality. 

Things you need to remember; 

- Don’t stress about being fixed because you’re not broken.

-Remember to remind yourself of your accomplishments. Tell yourself that you’re proud of yourself, even if you’re not. 

- This is temporary. You won’t always feel like this. 

-You are not alone. 

-You are enough. 

-You are important. 

-You are worth it. 

-You are strong. 

-You are not a failure, 

-Good people exist. 

-Reaching out shows strength. 

-Breathe. 

-Don’t listen to the thoughts that are not helping you. 

-Give yourself credit. 

-Don’t be ashamed of your emotions, for the good or bad ones. 

-Treat yourself the same way as you would treat a good friend. 

-Focus on the things you can change. 

-Let go of toxic people. 

-You don’t need to hide, you’re allowed to feel the way you do. 

-Try not to beat yourself up. 

-Something is always happening, you don’t want to miss out on what’s going to happen next. 

-You are not a bother.

-Your existence is more than your appearance. 

-You are smart. 

-You are loved. 

-You are wanted. 

-You are needed. 

-Better days are coming. 

-Just because your past is dark, doesn’t mean your future isn’t bright. 

-You have more potential than you think. 

- Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.

Please remember to look after yourself and know that you are more than worth it and you deserve to be happy. Keep smiling butterflies x

[invisiblemusings]

God bless the person who made this

[writeinspiration]

It gets better.

Anxiety GIF masterpost.

Book of Rage.

Stay here with us.

You are allowed to be whatever gender or religion you most identify with. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

You are a darling, lovely individual who deserves love and happiness. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

You are worthy of being wherever you are in life. You can do anything if you put your mind to it. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

[variousatonce]

News

I am attending the group therapy, and it is great. I feel less alone. I feel validation. My new therapist appart from the group is helping me a lot to understand my feelings and frustrations. I feel supported. My family is trying hard to support too, and I appreciate that. Sometimes they fail but meh, they try. Abt DID I think I am falling into integration. I haven't been feeling divided at all since idk several months. All the noise I heard continuously is now quieter and I think more clearly. I have this sensation that maybe I lied to myself in having DID. But I know they were real. They are part of my experience and maybe if there is something dangerous to my well-being they could come back and help me. Could that be? I'm still undiagnosed, but all my therapists knows how I ended up searching for help. I don't know if they believe me. But they are interested in raising my self-esteem over all, so DID is now like on a second place, I bet they have no idea how it works. But I mean, even when I have experienced so many things it is still so hard to believe that my mind has developed such a self defense mechanism to overcome the worst parts of my life. Right now I feel stronger. Vulnerable, sensible, but stronger, I'm working in getting closer to a better life quality. I have my doubts but hey, who doesn't? Sometimes I feel dull, sometimes I feel full, I AM and that's all that matters. I'm living instead of dying. So that's how it is right now.

[variousatonce]

Rage *triggered

I invited my family to take therapy together. They are still skeptical about everything to do with psychology, so I feel like the ugly duck. I was feeling less alone since I thought they were opening, but apparently they still think my team of psychotherapy is unnecessary. I feel so dumb because I'm such an anomaly in their system of beliefs. I mean I wish I was normal! I wish I could have been better dealing with reality! But guess what I'm not the way you thought I was going to be. Plus, everyone needs help. Everyone has issues to resolve to live happier and healthier and in peace with their whole life and the way they are living. Not only me. And I was strong enough to see that I was in a problem that I couldn't deal with and needed help, but even after the problem, I realize that we can improve our life quality by being open to talk and to feel. To feel for real and not hide our feelings and thoughts to ourselves. Because emotional support is important. Even if you think I'm weak because I want it. Gott I've been craving for it since a child but no, let's just say there's no reason to feel bad at all, because we have everything we need and there's so much people suffering worse things than to be sexually molested as a little child, than to feel alone, and to have so many millennial issues going on, right? "Kids this days are so sensible!" "They are so needy!" "They think so weird stuff about so selfish issues like gender and well being!" Aaaghjdjs ... End of the rage.

[icantdrawbutdontcare]

You’re doing something so significant without even realizing it!

[ttomateverde]

when u know the way ur dad acts is because of his own unresolved issues/trauma but at the same time u know u dont deserve to be treated the way ur being treated but u cant do anything abt it

[variousatonce]

I feel so confused about myself and my feelings. I don't know what to believe.

[cruzfucker]

One of the girls in my therapy group was crying to me after seeing Split. She actually has dissociative identity disorder due to sexual abuse she faced as a child. She saw herself on the screen as a monster. She couldn’t sit through the whole thing. She left halfway through the movie in tears. Is our cheap shock entertainment worth dehumanizing an entire group of people to fit into a horror trope? Is our cheap shock entertainment worth teaching our mentally ill brothers and sisters that their very being is dangerous and to be feared?

[trashemoji]

me, tossing mediocre content into the internet void: Validate Me

[awesomecuza]

heey im a lil sad would anyone distract me with whatever

[mikkynga-deactivated20210728]

here is a hamster dancing for ya, thought he haven’t started dancing yet

[awesomecuza]

no move is needed to feel his passion

[mikkynga-deactivated20210728]

[awesomecuza]

his moves and passion has exceeded my expectations

[mikkynga-deactivated20210728]

 nd now is tired and needs to lay down

be flat, he hoped you enjoyed the show

[awesomecuza]

thank u lil guy

[thelavendersystem]

DPDR It is as though your soul or mind or energy or whatever it may be, is no longer there. As though you’ve been set free from your body but by the contradiction you are trapped in your body. It’s as though your body has become a large room and you are the smallest of creatures and you’re floating around that room with no purpose. Purpose and reason are non existent causing everything outside your body to become, off. Colours aren’t the shade they are supposed to be. The weather is instinctively wrong. Time slows down and speeds forward. Things move more obviously in the corner of your eye and people speak in a tongue you do not understand. Everything is disorted. It’s as though you are watching an incredibly boring movie where you play the main character. It’s being disconnected from yourself. You are you. But not you. You are here but there. The past and present warp into an odd new time experience. It’s not recalling having done things. It’s “waking up” and not knowing where you are and how you got there. It’s friends asking about previous conversations that you cannot remember having. It’s questioning reality. Your rationality. The world. And yourself. It’s seeing your body carrying on doing things on auto pilot. It’s slipping though the crack between the mind and the body. It’s trying to stay afloat in those waters where life is suspended. It’s life without living. It’s fear. It’s alien. It’s disconnectedness.

Diary entry 15/07/2015 (via thelavendersystem)