Mental Illness Sideblog

Kai, twenties, they/them. Mostly: BPD | Possible AvPD | Paranoia | Ask to tag | thinspo blogs don’t interact var sc_project=11530568; var sc_invisible=1; var sc_security="0b58095b";

[curseworm]

bro oh my god … vanilla extract

[curseworm]

vanilla extract smells wonderful but tastes horrific on its own. but mixed with sugar and flour and cream it tastes just like it smells. we need the support of others to reach our full potential

[curseworm]

no man is an island everyone is vanilla extract

[yourdivergentneuron]

TW ED

People who run active ED blogs absolutely deserve recovery. But that doesn’t mean they should carelessly interact. I just got another wave of interaction from ED blogs and thankfully today is a good day for me and I was able to fight off the triggers.

Don’t interact with recovery blogs from an active ED account. That’s not to say don’t interact with recovery blogs, it’s to say don’t do it from accounts with ED names, with triggering icons, with weight posted in your header, etc. Make another account if you have to.

I would say don’t run an active ED account at all. Take it from someone who’s been in your shoes, don’t. You can say you’re pro-recovery all you want but posting constant checks and “inspiration” and tagging so you can find a community of people doing the same thing? That’s not how you recover. Two drowning people can’t save each other. I’m speaking from painful experience.

Should go without saying, but please don’t interact with THIS post from an active ED blog. Feel free to DM it to others or whatever. But I have a zero tolerance post for interaction from active ED blogs. And you know what I mean by that. If you have a vent account and sometimes you make posts related to having an ED, I don’t care. But when it’s the focus of your blog, I’m reporting any interaction I get.

You deserve recovery but you need to respect the boundaries of people in recovery.

[yourdivergentneuron]

The psych who diagnosed me with BPD, several sessions in: wow, it seems like you’ve taught yourself some key DBT skills without even knowing what you were doing, that’s impressive

Me: thanks, I literally had to in order to survive this long

[it-wasnt-that-bad]

I know other people have commented on this before, but like... can we stop trying to downplay some of the harmful aspects of personality disorders?

When I first found the bpd/pd community on tumblr like 5 years ago it was huge for me. I had all these thoughts and feelings and urges that made me feel like I was a horrible irredeemably bad person. I thought that if I told a therapist about them that they would be horrified and appalled. I thought no one else felt that way and that I was uniquely bad.

I tried not to act on those urges, but sometimes I did. I did things that were wrong. Nothing horrendously awful, but still things that went against my moral code. Honestly I still do at times.

Finding the bpd community on tumblr showed me that I was not the only one. The thoughts and feelings I had were not unspeakably and uniquely awful. There was a name for what I was experiencing. There was an explanation. It was not a fundamental moral failing. This lessened the deep deep guilt and shame. Knowing that other people felt that way and thought those things was what allowed me to eventually be open about them in therapy.

I still have some of those thoughts and urges. I still sometimes act on them. I am absolutely not excusing that. It is our responsibility to address those issues and work on not acting in harmful or hurtful ways. But it was seeing that other people had those thoughts and feelings that allowed me to finally address them in constructive ways instead of just drowning in guilt and self-loathing.

I saw this thing that was like "people with bpd aren't actually manipulative, they're just doing things because they're hurt that other people perceive as manipulative." And while that's true for some things that's certainly not always the case. Sometimes people with bpd are actually manipulative.

By framing it as "people with bpd aren't bad because they don't actually do [bpd thing]" you're throwing people who do experience that thing under the bus. You can cause people who experience that thing to feel even more guilty and ashamed, or even to suppress and ignore those issues instead of acknowledging and addressing them.

So please. Stop trying to minimize bpd to make it seem more acceptable to neurotypical people. Stop the whole "we're not like those other people" thing. If you don't experience certain symptoms congratu-fucking-lations but you don't get to speak for everyone with bpd or throw us under the bus to make yourself look better. If your bpd has never led you to act in ways that are harmful/hurtful and wrong then you're in the extreme minority and tbh you're probably either wrong about your diagnosis or lying to yourself about your own behavior.

[milfholder]

here’s a twitter thread of charities related to colon cancer that you can donate to in honor of chadwick boseman (x)

here’s a suicide hotline for if any of you are in need of immediate support (x)

please take care of yourselves and your friends tonight everyone

[milfholder]

more from twitter 

here’s a thread of black cancer fundraisers/research fundraising (x)

here’s a thread of fundraisers for black students of the arts (x)

[yourdivergentneuron]

I think I’ve reached the point I’m just going to start reporting th!nspo blogs that interact with my recovery posts that very clearly ask th!nspo/pro-ED blogs not to interact. If you really want to interact with my content about my recovery, don’t use an account that’s likely to trigger me to do so.

[memes-to-show-my-therapist]

[yourdivergentneuron]

I think I’m slowly reaching a point that seeing calorie information is generally becoming less triggering, and I’ve even had a handful of times I had no reaction at all! I’m still at least upset by it the majority of the time, but it feels like maybe I’m finally making progress against the damn ED thoughts

Edit because apparently this needs to be said: don’t interact with this if you’re a pro-ED/thinspo blog, I would really think it went without saying that shit triggers me

[becomingabettermeblog]

Here’s a reminder that learning to accept and deal with negative emotions is apart of self care. To feel anger/sadness/pain etc is to be human and it’s unrealistic and unhealthy to try and ignore/not feel them. Instead, learn how to deal with these emotions in a healthy way and remember that everybody feels negative emotions and that’s ok!

[kingnamjoonssi]

eventho I have body issues and feel ashamed whenever someone touches me, I really could use a pair of arms wrapped around me with love right now

[yourdivergentneuron]

That Patrick/Manta Ray meme but:

“Hitting your child is abuse”

“Yup”

“Your parents hit you as a child”

“Yup”

“Parents who hit their child are abusers”

“Makes sense to me”

“So your parents abused you”

“No, my parents would never abuse me”

[pastelparrotlet]

Say it with me:

I do not need to engage in unhealthy behaviors to deserve help for wanting to engage in unhealthy behaviors.

[neztoad-deactivated20211221]

you are allowed to cry for the childhood you lost, for the years that are filled with trauma instead of the innocent naivety childhood is supposed to hold. you are allowed to grieve the person you could have been. you are allowed to process your trauma however feels right, don’t let others govern how you are ‘supposed’ to deal with trauma.

[dumbassborderline-deactivated20]

‪oh hey look a human person i have to interact with hehe *inferiority complex smashes me in the head with a metal bat leading to death by blunt force trauma* ‬

[yourdivergentneuron]

Crowley is a wholeass BPD mood

[yourdivergentneuron]

Imagine not taking literally everything as a personal attack

[yourdivergentneuron]

Idk how this post got outside of mental illness tumblr in the first place but I hate it

[yourdivergentneuron]

It’s been...a tough while for my mental health tbh