for every mile, a kingdom.

vashti barzrud. if i told you, i'd have to kill you. time and space stretch out before you and the universe implores you to take your place amongst all things. you are part of everything.

[vashtiofbarzrud]

bountybossier‌:

Oh hell, you remember that? Never did get around to crackin’ one of those things open. Huh. Not likely, as much of a fuckin’ letdown as that might be, huh? Things got eight arms I think and that’s askin’ a whole damn lot. I don’t know if I see myself as a main course kinda guy. Maybe one of those side salads or somethin’.

Great. You’re just making it sound like I’ll have to take back my promise to swallow you whole to leave you to this... whatever it is instead. Salad really isn’t on my menu.

So is that a natural eight-armed freak or did you and one of your fellow offspring just get lonely on one of these cold, hard Maine nights?

[vashtiofbarzrud]

kadavernagh‌:

Look, I’m not going to stand for being insulted. And my family never had cows, for the record. But you seemed distressed and – never mind. I just wanted to check.

Facts aren’t insults. What I seem to you, a human, a mortal - whatever you are, and what’s actually the case, what’s actually real...

Yidhra, I don’t even know why I’m bothering explaining this to you. I don’t need your pity. Check on yourself. Check on the rest of your kind. You’ll all need it soon enough.

[vashtiofbarzrud]

thelittlemerdermaid‌:

[pm] And I applaud you for it, sincerely. As much as I appreciate the vice, I’m a biter. It’s just as effective as a good stab but twice as fun.

Orphan by choice, not by rejection. I was too good for th`Oh, sorry chickadee, did I touch a nerve with that one? Alright, alright. Fine. But since you’re already aware of my iron deficiency, do I get to at least know what kind of queen we have under that big ol’ crown of yours?

[pm] Just a biter? Here’s hoping you don’t let good meat go to waste.

It’s always seemed to me that far too many of your kind are a complete waste of oxygen, so all I can say is good for you. Not so good for me if I have to run into any of the orphans by rejection, though. Any I should watch out for?

A Queen for centuries, and for centuries more to come. That Queen enough for you?

[vashtiofbarzrud]

kadavernagh replied to your post: <p>You're nothing anymore. Just a human. You...

Are you… okay?

Fantastic, yet another idiot, illiterate Maine cowpoke who wouldn’t know how to comprehend anything even if they were struck across the face. I’m more than okay. I’m Me - the best I possibly can be. And what business is it any of yours?

[vashtiofbarzrud]

deathduty‌:

Well, that’s not insulting at all. No, they’re humans. They do a fun dance when they’re done fixing things! Very entertaining. What’s your address? I’ll send them over. 

And I would want that why?

It’s 3/2765 Amity Road, above that magic shop. Spade’s. Tell them to head up the stairs at the back of the alley, but if they see anyone else back there, they can just... come back later. I do actually want them fixed, after all. Unless they commune with Mimes, that is.

[vashtiofbarzrud]

whatsin-yourhead‌:

No, I didn’t know that. I sort um– don’t really care, either? If you’re only ever going to say rude things, then there’s no point in like, taking to heart what you have to say. It’s just…meaningless. You’re meaningless

You’re a lot of big talk. Why are you so mean? What benefit do you get from being so cruel? It can’t actually feel good to be so mad all the time, can it?

Paimon, I seriously shouldn’t even be surprised anymore... and yet somehow, somehow I still am. I try to help and this is what I get in return. Ingratitude.

Fine.

If you really think this is cruelty then you really are more dense than I was originally estimating, and just maybe someone should show you what it truly is. And I feel nothing, so how should I know?

[vashtiofbarzrud]

You're nothing anymore. Just a human. You should be ashamed.

And who the hell are you supposed to be? Who are you to dare talk like that to me? To question me?

Who have any of you been to do any of this?

I know what I am. And you know, now that I’ve been granted so much opportunity to think about it, I’ve never been so sure of what I am in my entire LIFE. I never even used to think about who or what I was, but now something I never gave any thought I suddenly find myself thinking about all the time! I finally get to be assured of my own divinity instead of taking it for granted without any pause for thought, any reflection. Lucky me. And I should feel blessed, but it’s too bad, isn’t it? That I’m not the kind of creature to be content with such. I revile it.

You send me this and you can’t even show me your face. But I promise you this: I’m not ashamed to show you mine. I never will be, so maybe you should just come and find it for yourself.

[vashtiofbarzrud]

bountybossier‌:

If that might work, su You know what? You’re right, maybe it would be doin’ the place a favor. Ain’t gonna argue with you on that. A guy cut me off the other day? Might as well toss him in.

Not going to crack this one open and season it this time around? “Big ol’ fuck off animals” not worth the effort? If I were you, I’d consider it. Wouldn’t want it to send it back and make you the main course. Though who am I to say that’s not your kind of thing?

[vashtiofbarzrud]

whatsin-yourhead‌:

It’s just a word. Not really, I guess. I wasn’t technically asking, though, I was more just confused by what you said, cause there were a lot of names in there that…I’ve never heard.

Uh, thanks, I guess? No, he didn’t. He’s perfectly fine. And happy enough

There was a single name. All of you just constantly astound me with your stupidity, you know that?

What a colossal shame. Even if he can’t see it, doesn’t know it, he’d be better off more than this language can even express. You would be too, but I doubt you can see it either. Blind as well as stupid, no doubt. Just like everyone else on this plane.

[vashtiofbarzrud]

thelittlemerdermaid‌:

[pm] Do they now? Even when you’re publicly hating on them? Not afraid of them but there’s probably a handful that would be totally cool with stabbing me with something sharp and made of iron, if you pick up on what I’m puttin’ down here. 

You don’t miss much, huh? So what’s that make you, queen bee? I’m pretty sure this town is the opposite of an Aos Sí. All the fae here are just like the orphaned rejects who’ve somehow stumbled into some wonderful magical wasteland. Oh but please? I love when people completely slay their kind. Literally and figuratively. I’m not picky.

[pm] All I’m telling them is what they need to hear to keep them in line. And you want my advice? Sounds like you should just get to the something sharp and stabbing part first.

It makes me Me. Is that right? So what, you count yourself in or out of that assessment? And... I meant what I said. I don’t want to go into it. Don’t make me repeat myself. It’s enough already that what happened happened without having to talk about it. Let’s just keep it to you and I sharing a mutual love, which at this point, is music to my ears more than you can ever know.

[vashtiofbarzrud]

bountybossier‌:

So a little fuckin’ PSA here. Think there might be a big ol’ fuck off squid creature animal in that big lake so just avoid that whole goddamn thing. Beach might be a better bet, maybe. Live your fuckin’ life or somethin’. Or die, I don’t give a fuck what you do. But, sun’s out, so that’s neat or some shit.

What are you trying to have it do? Starve to death? A few less people in this Asmodai-forsaken town would be doing this place a favour, so maybe you should just try leaving well enough alone.

[dariodanoite]

tinder chat | vashti & dario

[vashtiofbarzrud]

dariodanoite‌:

Well I’d say all but- I can’t just blindly give that title to you now, can I? I’d need some convincing.

Mmm, and how do I know you won’t just hunt me if I confirm that?

I’d say any dream with a girl like you in it would be good, don’t you think?

I don’t care enough to convince you of anything. But maybe I know I’ve already earned it by default.

Maybe I will. Maybe I’ll make good use of you, too. No good hunter leaves their prey to waste, after all - I’d hate to finish up with you before I find out what you taste like.

Of course they would be. But in my opinion, I think dreams are only worthwhile when they’re made reality. It’s the only way to get what you want and be able to keep it; they’ve never any use if they get away from you.

[vashtiofbarzrud]

deathduty‌:

That’s what I thought, wife.

That was my scream in excitement for you. Sometimes, when I think of you, I simply can not contain my love and devotion. It must be screamed. Horribly sorry about your windows though. Would you like for me to pay for the repairs to fix them? 

Just so long as you’re not screaming for me. And yes, I would - but whoever you hire, for once I’d actually prefer they be human. I’m not stupid enough to trust your kind in my house, so don’t send any.

[vashtiofbarzrud]

whatsin-yourhead‌:

I mean, it ate my hand, but I can’t say that on main I…what?

Hey, wait– aren’t you that really rude lady?

You have no idea how much I despise that word. What. Do I look like someone who's going to offer you a lesson in reading comprehension?

Oh, now I know exactly who you are. The one who “wasn’t supposed to be anyone”. Glad you have that level of self-awareness. Tell me, did your friend end up following my advice? Or maybe he’s still just working on it?

[vashtiofbarzrud]

bobdangit‌:

Not as conventionally as someone who swears by demons.

No idea what a lamia is (they the fancy pen company?) but I apologise for the shoes. I mean, clearly not only were they an occupational hazard, but they were just begging for trouble. I’m sure the next time you pick a fight with a guy who looks like the rock that wiped out the dinosaurs, you’ll pick a different set of footwear.

No idea? No idea? Let me just get something straight whilst I’m still letting you live long enough to hear it - you don’t lie to me. Do you seriously expect me to believe that you had no idea what you had? That it was just mere snake skin? Then the alternative is even more barbaric - you’re murderer to a creature that can barely even defend itself.

So which one is it? Either way, you’re some special breed of coward even for your kind. And Paimon, that’s truly saying something.

[dariodanoite]

tinder chat | vashti & dario

[vashtiofbarzrud]

dariodanoite‌:

Você está fazendo melhor do que a maioria das pessoas. So you’re already better in my eyes than most. Of course, that was already the truth. 

So what are you, then?

Then I’d be happy to let you break mine. An honor, truly. You’re up at 3 AM as well, aren’t you?

Most? You can’t do a little better than that?

And I believe the saying goes Gentlemen first. I wouldn’t want you to disappoint me by saying you’re scum piece of human yourself now, would I?

Maybe this is all just a dream that I can’t tell is good or bad yet. What do you think?

[vashtiofbarzrud]

deathduty‌:

I do. I said I was devoted, didn’t I? I meant it.

Thank you for your generosity. Please never say “sharing is caring” ever again. Those words are beneath you, as human words always are. True love does take sacrifice, you’re right. I can share you.

You know what? You’re totally right. Forget I said it. I was... tired.

...By the way, you wouldn’t happen to know anything about what caused the nasty crack in my window earlier, would you? Have you been keeping busy without telling me?