I have a complicated relationship with death, as I’m sure many do. It fascinates me, it scares me, in many ways, it rules me. When I was 15, my boyfriend died by suicide and I developed post traumatic stress disorder. My fear of death controlled my actions, thoughts and relationships for many years. When I entered my 20s I began actively working to accept death as an inevitable part of life and work through this trauma. This cemetery I chose for my site specific performance has been a huge part of this on going healing process. I began coming here with my partner about 3 years ago. Here I can appreciate the temporality of life and I think about how the energy of people who have passed never ceases to exist, and I find comfort. I have taken so much from this place, for this performance, I wanted to give to it. The graves that line this cemetery are predominately from the late 1800’s, early 1900’s, many seem long forgotten. For this performance, I bought a bouquet of roses, the flower of gratitude, and placed them at the graves. I did this to give back, to remember, and to pay homage to the space that has aided in confronting my own prolonged grief and acknowledge how far I have come.
(Sound warning: I left the sound in the video because I think its essential to the space, but it was very windy, so for the sake of your ears turn down your volume to low before clicking on the video)