ok but pete and vegas back at the safehouse.....do they go back to that room? do they have sex in that room or is the memory too tangled up with the negative feelings and abuse of that time? do they return to that bed to have sex as a fully committed , open and consensual couple? to cleanse the space as it were? or do they lock it away?
👀👀👀👀 wouldn't you like to know 👀👀👀👀.
no but, jokes aside, they, FOR SURE, in the end go back and make love in that room. and they BOTH cry during it bc its never been as emotionally intense ever as it has been now. no this is .... different from all their other times. different from anything they've ever had with anyone. nothing compares to how emotional this is. bc yeah its not like they havent had sex ever since they came back to the safehouse. but one time, vegas excused his way out of it just when things were about to get going. another time, vegas treated pete like he was made of out glass and it just didn't feel like them.
and sometimes, pete plucks up the courage to find that room and go inside it and see that .... everything is still there, the way it was. the chains suspended and hanging down from the ceiling, the handcuffs attached to the end of it, the cage for vegas' dead hedgehog, the bed, the outline of the stain of the noodles vegas had dropped just before he threatened to kill him when pete had escaped. its all still there.
its not easy. the first time pete goes into that room, its just the him stood in the way doorway scanning the room, until he sees the handcuffs, and his grip on the door handle tightens to the point where his knuckles go white and he slams the door shut and sinks to the ground trying to remember how to breathe again. he hadnt even realised he was holding his breath all this time.
a few days later he tries again. and again. and again. until he's able to step foot into the room. and then he's able to walk around the room. and then he's able to trace his fingers over the items present there. and then he remembers how vegas choked him and dragged him to stand, to pin him against the wall as he drew his knife out to his jugular, saying he'd kill him, and how helpless and defeated and degraded pete felt that in the end, he was ready to kill himself. and he cries. he breaks. he sobs. he whimpers. he just lets himself go. and then he tries. he tries to sit on the bed at first. and that's enough pushing the limits for one day. the next time he goes into the room, he tries to lie down on the bed. and he remembers how vegas forced him to eat. but that memory dissipates into all fhe times vegas cooked food for him and bought it to him, as he waited on the bed for him. and he remembers lying there telling vegas he grew up with an abusive dad, just like him. and he remembers seeing vegas cry as he mourned his dead hedgehog and how amused vegas was by his intrigue of his blood type. and how vegas didnt like beinf called sensitive or needing love, but look at him now. and there's a soft smile on pete's face. and he remembers vegas looming over him to feed him medicine through his mouth, how vegas looked and felt when he was inside him when they had sex the first time, how he kissed him, how he lay next to him and told him he didn't feel like a freak anymore, but that pete was a fool. and pete can't help but touch himself as he lies there. he touches his mouth, his lips, his jaw, his chin, his neck. his hands move down his chest, down his body and ... god. he shouldn't. he shouldn't be feeling this. his heart shouldn't be betraying him like so, pounding away in his chest until he can hear his own heartbeat, until he can hear how ragged his breathing has become. until he can hear vegas saying "let it out", and he's moaning his name as he jerks himself off.
he shouldn't. he shouldn't be doing this. but he only does it because he knows vegas is scared. and that's stopping him from fully giving himself over to pete when they get intimate. and what else can pete do?
and they've talked about this. at first, they didn't. because it was too raw. too ... new. too ... sensitive. but then it startes to tudn into a pattern. and then a common recurrence and pete's patience began to waver and get thin. until one day, whilst they were kissing on the sofa, pete took hold of vegas' hand and bought it upto his neck in an attempt to get vegas to choke him, because pete needs it, he wants it so badly. and vegas jerked away. and pete tried to reach out and bring them closer again but vegas stood up and walked away. and pete couldn't hold back anymore. so he followed vegas, around the house, asking him what that was, begging him to explain himself, telling vegas again and again that he knows he won't hurt him, so what's stopping him? and then when vegas still doesn't answer, pete's bitterness, perhaps even his insecurities, come out. he ends up spitting out and yelling if its him, if vegas is bored of him now, if the thrill of being with him has gone, does he not excite him anymore? because, damn it, pete just wants a response. something, anything, from vegas. and that makes vegas halt. and the way his hands are clenched into fists, his back as straight as a rod, the tension wound up in his body, the way his shoulder rise then fall as he breathes deeply, has pete himself on edge. he doesnt know if vegas will hurt himself or the furniture around them. and then he hears it. vegas sniffing. that then turn into him sobbing. it always ends like this. pete doesnt even realise when he starts crying himself, and in the end, their limbs end up wrapped around one another as they sit on the floor and cling onto one another, with vegas constantly apologising to pete, telling him that its not pete, its him, and pete constantly telling vegas that he wants all of him, that he needs all of him.
vegas doesnt dare go into that room. because the final memory he has of it is of pete almost killing himself right in front of his eyes, and then leaving him. but one day, he hears a sound coming from that room. and it sounds .... just like pete. and he trembles as he walks up the room, because part of him thinks he may have misheard, part of him thinks he hasn't and that means pete is in that room, which leads to the rest of him feeling completely uneasy about what pete could be doing in there. the last time pete was in there, he was trying to kill himself, afterall.
and its not until he places his ear right upto the door, that he realises that pete is saying his name. no. not saying it. moaning it. vegas knows exactly what pete sounds like, when he's on the cusp, about to orgasm. and vegas shouldn't. this feels ... too private to be intruding in on. until he realises that he is pete's boyfriend. that its come to this: he can't even pleasure pete enough anymore, so pete has to go to seek and chase out that pleasure by himself.
so vegas opens the door. and what he had suspected was right: pete's lying there, naked, on that same bed, touching himself, one hand wrapped around his neck as the other is jerking himself off. and when pete's gaze finally meets vegas', he doesnt shy away. he doesnt curl in on himself. he doesnt apologise or justify himself or his actions. he has tears in his eyes, his voice is hoarse, and he begs for vegas as he tells him he needs him.
and it feels like this was the one thing vegas didn't even realise he perhaps needed to see, for all the pieces to finally fall into place, for the wall he built up between him and pete to finally crack and break, and vegas strips himself naked and moves towards the bed until he's finally, finally, on top of pete. and pete offers his hands, just like he did back then, and vegas kisses them, just like he did back then. but this time, pete doesnt offer him the rope. so vegas grabs his wrists and holds pete's hands above pete's head and pins them down to the bed with his own hands, the grip bruising, just how pete wants it.
and he kisses him. ferociously at first, but it sweetens out into something so languid and slow and deep, a pilgrimage of each other's mouths, until vegas has to pull away to breathe. and pete is beaming. basking. his tears glisten and vegas doesnt even realise when he started crying, until pete tells him that he's missed him. vegas knows what pete means exactly by that. and all vegas can do is apologise, again. and the look in pete's eyes shifts to something much darker, hungrier then, even as he continues to cry, as he looks down at vegas' mouth. he tells vegas he doesnt want his apology. and vegas moves one hand away from holding pete's, and down to gripping his jaw, his thumb running over pete's bottom lip, as he asks him what he wants. and pete keeps his reply simple as he wraps his legs around vegas' hips and draws him in, completely down on top of him: he wants vegas to take him. to not hold back anymore. to let it out and to let go.
yousharknotpass
2087
blakekathryn
