Vegi Venturer

I am an adventurous vegetarian wanting to make people laugh and enjoy life

[vegiventurer]

You're Not Special

I know this title comes off a little like I am yelling at you but let me explain. For a couple of months now I have been listening to this podcast call Terrible, Thanks for Asking. It was created by this rockstar of a woman named Nora McInerny and her team. She mainly talks about death and grief or things that are troubling in people's life.... she even has her own story that I won't spoil. You just have to go and listen to find out.

Today I went to listen to some episodes that I need to catch up on and there is this one particular episode that resonated with me A LOT. But I will talk about that more later.

The Problem:

Before recently, I never thought my life was successful. And with my "perfect thoughts" plaguing me all the time I would fall in and out of pretty big bouts of depression. And depression fueled my resentment and that caused even more depression.

I would strive to be the best person I thought I should be, which is an impossible feet. There is no one that I know of that can be that person. Seriously not even Beyonce, Barack Obama, Oprah. That person I have created for my dream self is so grossly perfect that if I even somehow transformed into that person without dying, I would still hate her. Maybe not on the things she does but probably more on the journey to that perfect person because I still went to an outrageously overpriced college that I will be paying off with my retirement money, I still made mistakes in relationships with close people, and I still disappointed people along the way.

These things I did in my life made my grief 10 times more worse than everyone else. I would distance myself because "no one can understand, trying walking in my shoes for a day." I took all my past failures and pains and created a wall that would always make everything about me. 

What I Am Going To Work On:

So this podcast episode talks about a man who has had a way harder life than I did. Heck literally everyone on this podcast has had situations that I would deem worse than mine... but it's not a contest. But his story about his orphaned life was not what got my attention. It was the quote he read at the beginning of the episode by James Baldwin.

“You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, who had ever been alive.”

Your past failures are not special. Your past fuck ups are not special. Your hardships are not special. These things don't define you. It's what you do with them and how you thrive with them that makes you special. 

This is something I tell myself everyday and my resentment has been taking a back seat to a lot of my present life right now. I have become a more confident and better person acknowledging my mistakes and moving past them rather than dwelling on them. I know these feelings are going to come and go. They just chinese fire drill in the suburban that I am driving down the path of life. I don't think you should fully release things like resentment, or depression because even though these things can be bad, they ground you in a sense. They are markers in scenarios in life that you can determine either you are going to live with the consequences or turn it around in your favor.

If you haven't listened to the Terrible Thanks For Asking podcast I highly suggest you do. Especially if you are having a hard time right now. I'm sure if you want it enough you can just pop Terrible, Thanks For Asking podcast into the google machine.

Let me know if you are holding onto some things you need to get rid of. As always I am all over the socials with the handle @vegiventurer and I hope to see you tomorrow.

[vegiventurer]

My Unhealthy Chips And Guac Diet

The Problem:

I have had a terrible relationship with food for my entire life. I have been overweight for the majority of it with bouts of a thinner physique resulted from a poor high school diet. I would either binge myself to a large and unhealthy state or starve myself to an unhealthy and thin state. There was never a happy medium.

Diets were a lot of the reason for this yo-yo weight gain and loss. I would go on a diet and lose a ton of weight and than I would gain it all back because I would binge off the diet. I hated rules that limited myself to things I wanted to eat. I mean I dieted all through high school and that’s the time to enjoy what you want to eat with friend and here I was starving myself and denying even veggies and dip.

Fast forward to my diet now…. it’s all over the place. Some days I do great. And other days I just eat chips and guac for lunch and than nothing in the evening. My mornings consist of coffee and a vitamin. Sometimes I just eat sugary things such as candy and soda for lunch…. which is ridiculous.

Not only is this a terrible way of eating but it hasn’t been helping me with my diet and lifestyle. I have been consistently plant-based for over 3 years now but not the right plant-based. I mean Oreos are vegan and potato chips are vegan and that has been apart of my diet.

What I Am Going To Work On:

I have been trying to get on the macro train and focusing on more whole plant foods and such. When I eat more whole plant foods I can feel a difference when it comes to energy and digestion. Same thing when I keep up with my water intake. Granted I am not focusing on hitting my macros exactly every time. I find when I try to fully commit to diets and weight management I self sabotage because if you haven’t been reading these blog posts I have a thing called perfectionism that seems to ruin my life EVERYWHERE I GO!

Another thing I am also focusing on is gaining muscle while losing weight. Working out has also made me feel good during these health bouts and I really want to get working out 5 times a week into my schedule. I don’t think that this is a huge commitment. All it takes is to just make it a habit.

I have a lot more confidence this time around because there comes a point in your life where your health and body agree with you when you want to change what you have been doing. I feel unsatisfied with every bad decision I made. I also don’t feel that great and I am REALLY tired of not feeling that great.

Let me know if you are trying to work on your health. I know sometimes health takes a back seat in life but over the years I have been coming to the realization that my health is what is keeping me here. So keep that in mind when you can’t make time for yourself.

As always I am all over the socials with the handle @vegiventurer. And I will see you tomorrow.

[vegiventurer]

Wrapped In Plastic Is Not Fantastic

I watch a lot of documentaries on Netflix. And a recent one I have watched is "A Plastic Ocean". And it is terrifying where our world is going!

The Problem:

There is a lot going on in the world right now. Certain places of the world are batshit and killing each other, there is a shooting in the U.S. just about every other week, women had to make a hashtag to identify their predators and tell stories about sexual assault and abuse, Trump. The list goes on and on. But a lot of other issues that I know of never really see the light of day.

And I get it. I don't want to be paying a shit ton of money for health insurance. I don't want another terrible piece of shit human (if we want to call them that) shooting up a school or church. I don't want other fellow women be pressured and touched by their predecessors to gain in an industry. But I also don't want to set up future generations up for failure because of my poor choices of not recycling and allowing people to shove as much sugar into products. 

Plastic, regardless of if you live in a land locked area, manages to get out into the ocean. It goes to landfills, it is scattered in nature, and it is killing plant life and oceanic animals that consume it because it looks really similar to things they have eaten before. There is tons of research out there with figures and estimates of how much trash we have thrown away that is causing problems to lives of animals and ourselves. 

I mean for God sakes turtles are eating plastic bags because they look like jellyfish! And if they eat too many plastic bags they can't dive because all the plastic in their tummies makes them float on the surface! How sad is that....

What I Am Going To Work On:

I am going to focus on recycling a lot more. My apartment complex makes it so easy. I just need to throw everything that is recyclable into a bag and throw it into the recycling bin vs. throwing it all away in the regular trash. I also been using reusable products to reduce waste such as mason jars for coffees, grocery bags for groceries, I have even made some produce bags out of old t-shirts that I don't use anymore.

Reducing your carbon footprint is so easy and in some places you get rewarded for doing so. I know I get a discount when I bring my own cup to Starbucks, and same with my reusable bags for groceries. 

I don't think these changes are that hard to make in your daily life. You just have to be more aware and isn't that the whole point of me writing these posts? Right? And maybe because I really like sea turtles and I don't want them to die because of my mistakes. I literally cried when I heard that statement and I still tear up when I talk about it. So if you aren't doing this for me at least do it for the sea turtles.... Now I just want to whisper sea turtles every time I see someone in the market ask for plastic bags.

Let me know what you think. And challenge yourself. You don't have to go full recycle on me. But acknowledging what you can do in certain situations and acting on them is a plus. 

As always I will be posting every day for the next year. You can follow me on all the socials with my handle @vegiventurer. And I will see you tomorrow.

[vegiventurer]

Smelling The Roses

This week and last week has been crazy.... I fell off from my original goal to write everyday for a year. But! I am still determined. I plan to make up the posts and write 365 posts on my reflections. Before I started looking inward I would have given up on the day that I didn't post a blog post. I would have tore myself down and felt bad about how I can't achieve any of my goals, and the list goes on.

The Problem:

I think I have some obsessive compulsive issues that hinder that mentality of tearing myself down. Compulsion and Perfectionism are in cahoots when it comes to my sanity. I remember there was a time in my life where this would ruin my relationship with writing. 

You see I have issues with how I write, and how I wrote in notebooks. I would have to have the same pen with the corresponding notebook, I would have to have a calculated system of how to categorize the content I wrote in notebooks, I would have to write legibly, and if I was taking notes and the sentence I wrote bowed into the line above or below it I would have had to get a WHOLE NEW NOTEBOOK and re-write things to where they were perfect. 

You have no idea how many half filled notebooks I would have at the end of a semester in college because of these "rules" that compulsion and perfectionism would burn into every fiber of my being. But recently that changed.

What I Am Going To Work On:

Recently I took part in the Deepak Chopra and Oprah Winfrey 22 Day Meditation Challenge. I had a notebook I was writing in and I lost the pen I was writing my notes with for the challenge. Not going to lie I had a mini meltdown about it. But then I just said Fuck it and started writing with a new pen. For something so small I have never felt so ALIVE! And I wrote notes with different colored pens, I let my writing go off the page, I am even writing other things in there without a system as to how I want to process the content. Sometimes it just takes a small step such as this to help you stop and smell the roses and enjoy the correction of these habits that you made for yourself.

This mentality rolled over to me not caring that I didn't write a blog post everyday for a year. I had reasons as to why they weren't written. I didn't have the time and I wasn't going to squeeze them out and have them be shitty posts for you. I am letting some of my compulsions go so that way I can live more free to the world rather than have stupid habits that are not going to change the fabric of time. 

Let me know if you struggle with rituals and have a hard time smelling the roses. I am all over the socials with the handle @vegiventurer. I have one other post today to write for you and I'm sorry today is kinda a blog post spammy day but I don't have time tomorrow to span these out. Thanks for dropping by and I will see you tomorrow.

[vegiventurer]

The Been There, Done That List

I remember a couple months ago I was looking up things to add to a bucket list because I am twenty five now and I want to do some cool things. But when I was searching I found these things that were labeled

25 things to do before you're 25

30 things to do before you're 30

Curious, I gave these articles a skim to see what I missed out on and to get inspiration and..... they are the most stereotypical crap that I have ever read in my entire life. Drink wine in France, finding love in Greece, reading particular books that help the average female accept themselves... Puke.

The Problem:

I'm sorry but I am not wanting to find love in Greece, or wanting to read more self help books that I have already managed to choke down with the time I spent to read each painstaking chapter. I want to do some wild and crazy things that I never imagined doing. Just because I have lady parts it doesn't mean that I don't want to go hiking half dome, travel places other than "the city of love", or become a CEO of something.

Another thing I hate about these kind of lists is the timeframe. 25 things to do before you're 25? 30 things to do before you're 30? Our lifelines are longer than ever before and you want to limit yourself to 30 years on things? No thanks. I also feel the same thing about the bucket list. I feel like I shouldn't have to worry about doing things before I die. I mean I am morbid but I am not wanting to anticipate what things I want to do before I die. 

What I Am Going To Work On:

I have decided to change the name of my bucket list. I call it The Been There, Done That List. It's a little different than a bucket list. Instead of writing down things that you think you want to do before you die, you write down things that you have already done that you feel are noteworthy to the list. I think this encourages more of an achievement more than a deadline and it makes me acknowledge things that I wouldn't have put on my list because "it wasn't bucket list worthy".

I have done a lot of things in my life good and bad, but I have never really revelled on the good. I have taken a chance of moving away from my home state to take a job that I really enjoy, I am challenging myself to write and succeeding.....kinda, I am taking my life more seriously than I ever did when I was 21, and I got two amazing fur babies that I thought I would never be able to have because of my finances. I know some of these are small and maybe stupid to some people but you have to enjoy the small achievements as well as the big ones. A lesson I just learned a couple days ago. 

Let me know what you want to put on your Been There, Done That List. I am on the socials with handle @vegiventurer. This month is kinda crazy with the holiday getting in the way and stuff so I will be making up the 3 blog posts I owe you today. Keep a look out!

[vegiventurer]

Life Is Gonna Life

The Problem:

So I have been learning yoga and meditation for the past couple weeks and one of the things that is emphasized is you have to let life flow and don’t be hesitant of where it takes you. The more you let life flow and be present in the now the more control you have of yourself with happiness, presences, and spacial awareness.

To me that is terrifying! Never once in my life have I let my life “flow”. I need to know what is happening at all times whether it be in the day, the week, the month, my future…. Everything. You have no idea how many times my mom has had to tell me to live one day at a time when I called her balling my eyes out about fears, problems I was having that could effect the future, or how I never have time for myself because of everything going on in my future.

And this having to know mentality has meddled too much in some things. I gave up a relationship because I was thinking way too far into the future, I never took risks because I had to plan it around things that I had planned, I put my own work, like this blog, on the back burner for so long because I needed to get what I needed done for the next couple days, and the list goes on. 

There are days that I believe the yogi lifestyle more than others where the universe is listening and gives if you are open to receive. Like when I was running around my apartment looking for my notebook that had all my blog post ideas and I kicked the meditation book I just bought and got the notification for the next day of the meditation challenge is ready to listen.

There was even a time where my younger brother said he was planning to propose and I was looking for a partner…..and the universe told every man in my life to fuck off. Texts conversations fizzled out or certain scenarios would happen that would buckle that relationship at the knees. And after I cried my eyes out and ate an entire $5 pizza to myself I got an email for a job opportunity 17 hours away from where I was living at the time…… Tell me that’s not the universe or God or whoever you believe in not saving my ass from something that wasn’t a priority at the time.

I was looking for a guy for the wrong reasons. Because my brother’s life was progressing faster than mine I tried to move forward in a different direction when I really needed a job that wasn’t paying me minimum wage for something I went to get a degree for.

What I Am Going To Work On:

I mean I have already started this but I am focusing more on the now and not the future. Life is going to life in every instance or belief we have about it. God is going to guide me through praise and prayer, yoga is going to ground me in the present and learn to flow with my life’s current, my simulation that Elon Musk talks about is going to end eventually, and I’m sure the flying spaghetti monster will give me the carbs I need to lose all this fucking weight and get them gains. 

I’m going to make time for meditation because not only is it making me stress free, it’s also kinda fun and I can see myself practicing this more than painting happy trees with Bob Ross. I mean you should see the tongue twisters that are the 8 limbs it’s amazing. 

Let me know down in the comments what you do to live more in the present. And if you’re not stop worrying about the future already. It’s going to come. Just think of your present day like Christmas eve and the future as Christmas day….except you won’t get gifts everyday you will just keep reliving Christmas eve…. you know what never mind don’t listen to me just stop worrying.

I am all over the socials with the name @vegiventurer. You should follow and stuff. I’m pretty fucking hilarious. I will see you tomorrow for another blog post.

[vegiventurer]

Perfectionism Is A Shitty Roommate

The Problem:

I have been struggling these past couple of days because I went back and read some of the posts I have written.... and they are terrible. Granted I knew this was going to happen because I haven't wrote a well thought out essay since high school. But if you have been reading along these past couple of days I have this little problem....called perfectionism.

Perfectionism with OCD tendencies is bad juju. The only thing I can relate perfectionism to would be one night in college when I came home from work and my roommate at the time was throwing a party. Her and I weren't getting along and obviously she had been drinking so you can image. The only time she talked to me was around me to other drunken babies that were her friends. Saying snide remarks under her breath even though I wasn't the one who was wearing a broken party city shell bra, failed at making jello shots by pouring it all over the place, and was to the point of intoxication where if she made insults no one took her seriously. See perfectionism is judgmental and rude. Unwanted and loud. Everyone around perfectionism is slightly annoyed because they didn't sign up for the babysitting that transpired that night, including me...

The difference between my ex roommate and my perfectionism is I let the relationship between my me and my roommate go. "I don't need toxic people in my life" she says as she puts herself down about her image, work goals, and just life in general.

What I Am Going To Work On:

I need to learn that nothing is perfect. I am never going to achieve this unobtainable expectation for myself that I have. I think this will probably take some time since I have built my perfectionism up for MY ENTIRE LIFE! You know the usual things. But when I find myself bashing on things like my appearance, my work goals, writing of these reflections, etc. I am going to acknowledge that I did it and reward that acknowledgement with a compliment. And hopefully after a couple of times compliments it will get easier.  And maybe one day my perfectionism will sober up and learn how to make a fucking jello shot. I mean its just jello, vodka, and water how do you fuck that up? 

Let me know if you have these same problems and what you're doing help your perfectionistic tendencies. I'm all over the socials with @vegiventurer as the handle. Expect a post every single day and come back tomorrow for more insights to life.

[vegiventurer]

I Don't Understand Boys

So yesterday I talked about how I am not the best at being a wing man for my friends when they need support. And the main reason I touched on was I just don’t have the emotion to support, and I am a very blunt person that loves saying the word I told you so.

But when it comes to girlfriends and their relationships I feel like I fall short because I don’t understand boys… at all. I have had relationships with partners where I tried to just please vs. understand needs and that NEVER worked out. I saw needs as more of a checklist or a getting from point A to point B standpoint when needs are more like one of those toy maze games where you had to get the ball into the center.

The Problem:

I blame some this on my hard perfectionism I have. I like being rewarded for things that I do and with the point A to point B attitude I would be excited to be praised when I got to point B but when it wasn’t that simple I would get frustrated and wouldn’t understand why I wasn’t getting couch cuddles when I made dinner when my partner at the time was complaining about his work. The answer to that is it wasn’t that simple to fix at the time.

I also assumed since I was the one with the out-of-control emotions there wasn't room for the guy I was with to have emotions. When these two things combined, they essentially made the wall that distanced myself in my relationships.....along with other things.

What I Am Going To Work On:

Overall I have a lot to learn about the opposite sex and with partners. I need to understand that I need to give as much as I receive and not just chalk every guy up to be the same. Relationships are not as simple as a task or a math problem. 

I also need to learn about loving myself and another person. Because the wise words of Rupaul are true "If you can't love yourself than how the hell are you going to love someone else." But I think that mantra and topic is for another blog post.

The goal is to open up and listen to people to better relationships and understand people regardless if they are my future partner or not. Another thing I need to do is not let my perfectionism control my life like it should. Relationships are never going to be perfect.... as well as life but this is also another topic for the blog.... and I need to learn this in order to survive a relationship without driving my partner insane.

Let me know if you have anything that controls your relationships or if you have something you want to work on. It doesn't have to be a love relationship, maybe a friendship, or bettering your relationship with your parents. As usually you can find me all over the internet with @vegiventurer on twitter, instagram, and youtube. I will see you tomorrow for another reflection blogpost. Ta ta for now.

[vegiventurer]

I'm A Pretty Shitty Wingman

The Problem:

So I am a pretty blunt and upfront person when it comes to certain things. And this has come to bite me in the butt a couple of times because I either come off as an insensitive bitch or someone who wants to be right all the time.

And that doesn't really help a sista out when her shitty boyfriend breaks up with her and all she wants is a shoulder to cry on and maybe a glass of red wine and all I do is push her face away and say "I told you so." I just feel like her mom after she failed a test when I told her to study something stupid and irrelevant.....like math.

I personally think I get this attribute, if you even want to call it that, from my mom. But the difference between my mom and I is:

She's my mom and has the right to talk to me like that

She knows when to differentiate her tone in certain situations

I didn't realized how insensitive I was being until she went all quiet and was looking at her final texts with this man (or piece of shit) sniffling her emotions away. And this has happened multiple time with multiple people. 

Not only has this made me feel like an emotionless robot but it has also done things such as:

Screaming at past boyfriends on where I think our relationship should be

Distancing friendships because we can only talk about stuff that I won't put my two cents into regardless of if it effects me or not.

Not starting relationships with people because I can't be bother with the stupid I automatically assumed you had.

What I Am Going To Work On:

Here is the thing. I have already started applying myself when it comes to things like this. I put myself in the position of the person that I am talking to and ask myself if I would like my answer  or not. I try to relate a little more rather than just say what they don't want to hear. 

I think everyone can learn from this. Learning to understand other people's perspective of things allows you to understand both sides and make your judgement from there. Doing this has resulted in me growing better relationships with people, gaining new friends, and learning how to soften my perspective.

I will be posting the image below to my socials. Let me know if you have the same problem. Has it resulted positively or negatively? Are you going to try to be more aware of this?

[vegiventurer]

I'm No Lady Swiss Army Knife

The Problem:

Over the past couple of months I have been spouting off things that I wanted to do. I wanted to blog, make videos, make tutorials, design comics, draw, yoga, make vegan recipes, stand up, write, and everything else. But with a busy schedule and no hobby that I would say I am an expert in.... things got a little crazy.....

I got discouraged when I would schedule to do all these things and wouldn't get them done, I bought a lot of things that I didn't really need, I would intentionally procrastinate things because I wasn't happy with my production of stuff I was doing, I got super passionate in the beginning and fizzle out around the first couple of days, and I continuously put myself down because I wasn't doing things efficient enough to my standards.

I think that can be a problem with someone that is very creative maybe? We want to constantly produce things whether it be artwork, music, food, Instagram profiles for their cats? And it can be a lot sometimes, like when you hit a creative block when you really need to get something done.

Those creative blocks are the proverbial potholes that the city refuses to fill because "it's not going to cause that much damage" even though it took my WHOLE BUMPER OFF THE FRONT OF MY CAR! in my creative life. And since I have many passions I feel that I encounter a lot more of those creative blocks than I shouldn't be running into. 

What I Am Going To Work On:

Recently I asked myself:

"What do I want to do for my artistic career?"

And the only thing I could think of was:

"Make jokes and help people"

And I want to focus on this with a writing aspect. Whether it be these blogposts, scripts for skits or comedy stand up, or comics I just want to make jokes and help people. This thought streamlined my work and personally took a FUCK TON of stress off of my shoulders for wanting to be more than what I am right now.

This thought has also helped me realize that I can't be perfect in EVERYTHING. I can be good at things.... but not everything. Plus you can't be great at everything from the beginning..... even though I want to be so freakin bad! I have learned this the hard way before, but it has helped me realize that I can ask for help from others. 

Before I hated asking for help. I never wanted to have conflicting opinions on work to where I would look like the bitch in the situation that had to have it her way. I hate confrontation to the point where my body will begin to envelop itself in sweat and I can only formulate sentences at the level of a 2 1/2 year old toddler. But I think I just need to learn how to project and not get so emotional on things. IDK just a thought.

If you are having the same troubles as I did just ask this question.

"What do I want to do for my _________ career"

It doesn't have to be about your career. Maybe your lifestyle, hobbies, relationships. Whatever you want. This question is your oyster..... which isn't really vegan so maybe..... This question is your sweet potato.... doesn't really catch like the oyster thing but oh well. 

Let me know what you guys want out of your life with the hashtag #365daysofreflection. I will be posting this image on all my socials so let me know wherever you go, whatever you do, I will be right here waiting for you......Yes I just used lyrics from the great Richard Marx song "Right Here Waiting." Right okay this got awkward...... Bye

[vegiventurer]

I Procrastinate Too Damn Much

The Problem

Ever since I was a senior in high school procrastination has been a huge problem of mine. " I have a man that loves me. I don't need to go to college or be productive." she said as she skipped college classes to go make out at home with her high school crush.

But that relationship sank like the titanic after applying to an art college, getting in, and seeing that long distance relationships are hard. But even though that relationship fizzled out the procrastination stayed. I put a lot of things off that were my dreams because I had to work two jobs..... even though if I just hustled I could have done them during my binges of Netflix and Youtube for hours.

I mean I have had this blog for almost a year and I am now just applying myself!!!!

I personally think my procrastination comes from a place of failure. Failure and perfection. I don't want to invest time into something that won't gain traction or won't benefit me in the long run because it is a waste of time. I also don't want to do something unless I know 100% how to do it. And let me just say Procrastination and perfectionism are not a good couple AT ALL.

Procrastination is always sitting on the couch with pants being an optional accessory to the food stained oversized t-shirt. He always wonders why people are always looking for Waldo when he's a grown ass man who can take care of himself as he takes another rip from his bong that he stole from his last roommate. He just bought noise cancelling headphones for his game play to dull the nagging from perfectionism as she come home from her 9 to 5 to a house that smells of $5 pizza and B.O.

Whereas Perfectionism is perfect in her eyes. She has an exceptional well paid job kissing the asses of higher ups. She organizes titles of books like she does To dos in her bullet journal that she had to watch two tutorials to understand how to use. And even though she is perfect regardless of these things she keeps procrastination a secret. Because she thinks she can change him if she's persistent and constantly bitches about the things she hates about him..... and maybe the sex is amazing but who knows. I don't ask them about their relationship.

Some days though they go full Mr. and Mrs. Smith blowing up the house because they both get in the way of each other and those days are my absolute worst. I just lay on the floor, staring up at the ceiling, Kim K ugly crying about why can't I just do these things? They are so easy all you have to do is just do it!

Hey don't come for my with my gif choices.... You signed up for this shit.... and if you didn't be sure to subscribe for more vegiventurer blog content.

#Spon

What I Am Going To Work On

I know these things I bring up are going to take some work to fix. But I think a lot of it is:

Realizing if I am procrastinating out of fear of failing or not being good enough

Following through and Just doing it

Assessing what I did over a period of time and finding the positives out of me following through

They say it take 30 days to break a bad habit and 60 days to reinforce a new and better habit. So If I baby step into these 30 and 60 days and don't really expect big changes than I am moving in the right path. And if you are going to apply this to some of your bad habits,  don't get upset if you fail the first time around. I have failed many times and perfectionism nagged the shit out of my right ear to the point where I can't hear that well if you mumble conversations at me.

I think another thing I am going to have to deal with is living with perfectionism and procrastination.... even though procrastination never pays rent and perfectionism expects me to do everything she wants me to do. But learning to live with both and stand up for certain things to where they don't run my life can be healthy right? Learning to ebb and flow with some of the key components in my life can get me through things a little bit easier. Like I can hang out with procrastination every once in awhile when I need a break from my personal work and everything else going on in life. And perfectionism and I can set up standards for blog posts like this or work in the future to make me a better person. Everyone can win if you just allow certain things and set guidelines for others.

Let me know if you are having these same problems on my socials. I will be posting this image on all my socials with #365daysofreflection:

[vegiventurer]

November 10, 1992

The year was 1992 on November 10th. I decided to grace the world with my presence Kill Bill buried alive style out of my mom's lady bits. I was blue, naked, and afraid.

Fast forward 25 years, here I am.... Overweight, depressed, and wanting more. I have been through some shit, done some shit, and felt some pretty shitty feelings along the way to where it has decreased my health and wellbeing. I have tried therapy, pills, talking to loved ones, books about different disorders that I let WebMD diagnose me with, I even went to a Tony Robbins seminar for God's sake. And the amount of self help books that have accumulated in my collection has steadily increased to a horrendous amount.

Why the fuck do I need to read chapters upon chapters to understand that a young Miley Cyrus song once pointed out to me in a catchy fashion...... everybody makes mistakes, everybody has those days. Simple... because I don't want to deal with myself.

"I have put up with myself for this long, what's the point of changing."

That sentence right there is the reason why I continue to be comfortable with my constant emotional rollercoaster ride that has me throwing up funnel cake, because we all know that funnel cake before a rollercoaster is a bad choice.

As I searched and searched for something to help me I recently dove head first into the purple Kool Aid that is yoga and meditation. To me it made a lot more sense at time putting my body in bendy positions while reflecting on childhood scars that still haunt me to this day. But I got tired of the reflections. A lot of books focus on one aspect and you meditate around it.... which is fine... But I got 99 problems and these reflections only resolve 1.

So what am I saying here? I want to do some self reflection Cierra style and just make a blogpost for everyday focusing on something in my life that I do for one year. It can be positive, negative, informative, whatever as long as I do one reflection every day.

And the goal behind this is to learn from mistakes, have a little fun, and move on from the bullshit that has led my life down into this pit I have been in for so long. And if it helps someone along the way than that would make my day a little brighter.

Now I am no expert so IF you are having issues that need to be resolved with a medical professional and you haven't done it yet..... Just do it. Even if therapy is not your thang at least you learned that. I don't want people getting hurt on my behalf because I am not your mom.... maybe your crazy aunt that let you have a sip of her wine cooler that one time.....but definitely not your mom.

These posts are probably going to be sloppy, misspelled, emotional at some points but this has been something I have been wanting to do for awhile now. I have talked to friends about this idea, I have thought about making it into a video series, etc. So we are going to write a post with some witty humor, terrible analogies, and maybe..... MAYBE some shitty comics or drawings so that way you won't get tired of unsplash stock photos and long wordy blocks of text.

So I guess I will see you tomorrow? Maybe? 

-Cierra

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I'm in the process of making two posts because this one is taking way long than i thought it would... stay tuned!!! #kombuchabrewing #kombucha #blogger

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So I have decided I am takin my photography and video and animation stuff more seriously but I don't think I should be putting it on this instagram since this is more of a put whatever I want up and soon to be my blog's instagram so I have made a work related instagram to post there along with other things I plan to do. If you want to see work like this in the future go over to @cj.the.editor for photos, video trailers, illustration, and motion design. Thanks #photography #professionalamateur #cj.the.editor

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Springtime on the antelope island #photography #nature #naturephotography

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This made the place smell amazing! Note to self: maybe cut the recipe in half so you don't have to much. Would u guys want the recipe? Let me know and I can defiantly make a blog post about it. #vegan #healthy #granola

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So I found out how much of a weak human I am on the weekends. So to get back on the healthy horse I am cooking off some oats for a healthier breakfast in the morning #granola #healthy #stopruiningmydietweekends