Once you don’t value what you have it will Slip and never Return , and even if it does it’s not to stay
Sypnosis : 8 men supposed to give her all the love they promised end up leaving her behind without a valid reason
Pairing : ex!girlfriend Reader x PolyAteez !
Warnings : this chapter contains lots of, regret , Smoking , Wooyoung’s being mentally unstable, sad memories, unexpected surprises , Late night talks
Tag list : @legbouk , @scarfac3 , @hcyaa , @loverlele , @mulletjoonsupremacy , @veneziamadness , @belle643 , @atinyreads , @baguette-atiny , @parkthothwa8 , @hwadump , @owjohny , @miaatiny , @tunaasandwiich , @riririyuhn , @vixensss
" Rin's run away will start in a few "
Jongho said as he looked at the time
" I don't think I'm going "
Seonghwa said as he was in the balcony smoking while looking at the blue purple sky
His slim fingers brushing his blond hair back as he sighed
" What about the others ? "
Jongho said as he looked at the elder
" Mingi despises her and you know that Yeosang will go Yunho probably too , Hongjoong you know he can't "
" I don't even need to mention Wooyoung "
Seonghwa came back inside as he sat down next to the younger
" Have you visited him ? , did he talk to you? "
" Wooyoung is not making any progress, they said he attacked a nurse because she looked like Y/n "
" I really wonder were she went "
" We all do Jongho , if I knew that meeting Rin would cause to this disaster I would've never got involved with her "
" I can't believe I let someone else blind me from making my own decisions , I should've known from the moment Y/n cried in the bathroom that night "
Yunho said as he went out his room
" She was crying because we brought Rin home without telling her , and she thought she wasn't enough "
Seonghwa sighed and groaned
" We just destroyed everything "
" I freaking miss her , the house has never been the same after San and her left "
Jongho felt his eyes sting but he quickly wiped them
" You're not the only person who does "
Hongjoong said as he came in looking tired , he had the big eye bags under his eyes that made him look like a Panda
" But what can we do about it ? she's probably better off without us "
Seonghwa leaned back against the couch, his gaze unfocused, as he ran a hand through his hair, still feeling the weight of everything
"We've all been carrying this guilt, but I don't think any of us really understand what she's probably going through now , It's been five years and we're still stuck in this mess."
Jongho stared down at his hands, gripping the fabric of his jeans
"I still remember when she used to laugh so freely, like nothing could touch her. It's like that light it just vanished , And I can't even bring myself to apologize for how we all failed her , how do you even apologize for something like that?"
Yunho, who had been quiet up until now, shook his head
"You don't , Some things can't be fixed with words."
He looked at Seonghwa, his voice steady
"I didn't understand it at first, why you stayed distant, but now I see it she was the glue holding us together , Without her, we were just falling apart."
Seonghwa muttered, his eyes growing distant again
"I should've done something. I should've noticed earlier maybe I could have kept her from leaving , I should've protected her"
Hongjoong sighed heavily, wiping his face with both hands before speaking softly.
"We all should have , But what's done is done maybe the best we can do now is try to learn from our mistakes, not repeat them."
" You told her to leave and never come back Hongjoong, "
They all sat in silence for a moment, the weight of their regrets hanging in the air like a storm cloud
"I think of the way she smiled at me,"
Jongho said quietly, breaking the silence
"It wasn't just a smile it was like she could see through me , Like she knew what I needed before I even knew."
Yunho nodded, eyes focused on the floor
"She had this way of making you feel like you mattered. She could light up the whole room with just one look."
Seonghwa muttered, his voice a bit choked
"She made everything feel possible , even when things were bad"
The words hung heavy between them, thick with nostalgia and longing
Hongjoong , ever the realist, looked between them
"But we can't change the past. We all lost her, in different ways , And now, all we have left are these memories"
He paused, a quiet resolve settling in
"We need to move forward , We need to fix ourselves"
"But what if we can't? What if we can't fix anything? What if she's better off without us? I mean it's been five years already "
"Then we'll live with that guilt forever , But we owe it to her to everything we had with her to try"
They all fell quiet again, the reality of their situation setting in like a cold chill , What had they really lost? More than just a person.
They had lost a part of themselves. And now, with no answers and no way to turn back the clock, they were left with memories that burned just as bright as the sky had the day she'd walked out of their lives
Seonghwa once again took a long drag from his cigarette, the ember glowing bright as the smoke curled up into the air.
His thoughts were elsewhere, tracing memories until Jongho started talking
"Remember that time we were supposed to meet her at that restaurant?"
Jongho suddenly asked, breaking the silence that had settled over them like a heavy fog
His voice was low, almost like he was afraid to bring it up, but the memory was too strong to ignore
Seonghwa's fingers tightened around his cigarette, the memory hitting him harder than he expected.
They had all agreed to meet at that small, quiet place Y/n loved . The kind of restaurant with dim lighting and food that seemed to taste better just because of the company.
But Seonghwa had the boys attend Rins prom day.
He'd never forget the look on Y/n's face when she called him that night.
"Where are you?" she had asked, her voice tinged with confusion, maybe even a hint of hurt.
" I've been waiting for you."
But he hadn't shown up none of them did , and she'd stayed there, alone, the same way she'd always done when they let her down.
Jongho exhaled a heavy sigh, the memory clearly still haunting him as well.
he said, shaking his head
"I thought we had time , I kept thinking Oh she'll understand , but she didn't , And we never really made it right."
Yunho leaned against the wall, arms crossed, his gaze far off in the distance.
"She never really said anything about it, but I think that was the moment it all started to change. She stopped trusting us, stopped believing that we'd put her first. That was the point when we really lost her."
Seonghwa's heart tightened in his chest. He wanted to argue, wanted to say that it wasn't true, that they could've fixed it somehow. But deep down, he knew they couldn't go back.
He'd seen it in her eyes the last time she'd looked at him, so tired and defeated, like she'd already made up her mind.
"I shouldn't have stayed with Rin,"
Seonghwa muttered bitterly, the words tasting like ashes
"I should've been there for her. I should've known then that she needed me more than anyone else."
Jongho replied, his voice barely above a whisper
"But I think we were too caught up in everything else to see that."
The weight of the conversation hung heavily in the air. They were all broken in different ways, mourning a person who had slipped through their fingers. And no matter how much they wanted to change the past, they couldn't.
Hongjoong, always the pragmatist, spoke up once more.
"We can't fix what's already broken. But if we don't at least try to move on then we'll just be left here with more regrets."
Seonghwa's gaze flickered over to the younger , seeing the same exhaustion in his eyes that mirrored his own.
They had tried Lord, how they had tried but time had slipped away, and now they were left with the consequences of their choices.
"I still don't understand why she didn't fight for us, though,"
Jongho murmured, frustration and hurt seeping into his words.
Yunho finally looked up, his eyes softening as he glanced at Jongho.
"Maybe she was tired of fighting. Tired of always being the one to hold things together, only for us to tear them apart , We never gave her the space to be weak, to have moments where she could fall apart without feeling like it was her responsibility to fix us too."
The silence that followed was deafening. They all knew the truth, but none of them wanted to accept it.
Seonghwa shifted uncomfortably, still staring out the window
"I should've never let Rin into this relationship , That's was my biggest mistake."
Hongjoong said, his voice quiet but firm
"All of us were at fault. We all pushed her away in our own ways."
Seonghwa's fingers clenched into fists, his nails digging into his palm.
"But I could've stopped it. I should've. I could've seen what she was going through—seen how it was tearing her apart."
"And maybe we could have helped,"
Jongho added softly, his voice heavy with regret.
Seonghwa closed his eyes, leaning back in his chair. The ache in his chest was unbearable, a reminder of the person they'd lost and the chances they'd missed. He could still hear her voice in his head, still feel the sting of her absence.
"I just wanted to fix it all,"
he whispered, more to himself than to anyone else.
"But I don't even know where to begin."
The words hung in the air like an unanswered prayer, a desperate wish that maybe just maybe they could find a way to make it right.
But the truth was that they all knew they couldn't. The only thing they had left was the hope that Y/n had found peace, even if it meant doing so without them.
And maybe, just maybe, that was the hardest part of all
Seonghwa wasn't expecting anyone , and it wasn't like they ever got visitors
Not after the kind of day he'd had , exhausted with his mind running through the past .
The house was quiet—too quiet. The others were asleep, the world outside dimly lit by streetlamps.
He was rinsing dishes when the sudden knock echoed through the apartment.
He frowned, drying his hands on a towel.
Visitors didn't come here not unannounced, not at night.
When he opened the door, he expected a neighbor, maybe someone that just wanted help
She looked nothing like the woman he remembered years ago. Her hair was in a pixie cut , her face thinner, and her eyes carrying a weight he'd never seen in her before.
She held a small backpack over her shoulder... and beside her, gripping her hand tightly, stood a little boy.
A boy who couldn't have been older than five.
San's complete facial expressions ……..
Seonghwa's breath hitched.
Y/N swallowed, her voice trembling.
His voice cracked into the cold hallway
"Y/N... what... what is this?"
The boy peeked out from behind her leg, staring up at Seonghwa with wide, familiar eyes that sent a shock straight through his chest.
"I know it's late," Y/N murmured, glancing down at her son, "and you probably never wanted to see me again... but I didn't know if I should have left before trying to say goodbye ."
Seonghwa stepped out of the doorway instinctively, staring at the child like he was looking at a ghost wearing San's face.
He whispered barely able to breathe
She hesitated, voice breaking as she finally spoke the words she'd been holding for years.
Seonghwa grabbed the doorframe to steady himself. His eyes filled—shock, grief, disbelief, and something deeper—relief? longing? He didn't know.
He only knew his heart felt like it was being pulled in every direction at once.
"I thought you lost the baby,"
"The doctors told me it was a miscarriage. And that there was no way I could have kept the growing baby But it wasn't. I only found out a month later... when it was too late to come back without facing all the pain"
"And by then... we all had already lost San. I didn't know how to walk into that grief with a child who looked exactly like him."
The boy tugged at Y/n’s sleeve gently, his voice small.
Seonghwa closed his eyes as if the little voice physically hit him.
When he opened them again, tears blurred the hallway lights.
"He looks so much like him,"
Seonghwa whispered, his voice barely holding together.
"God... Y/N... he looks exactly like him."
she said, brushing a hand over her son's hair.
"That's why I came at night so nobody else would see him. and I'm glad you opened the door "
Seonghwa looked up sharply.
"Wait—why? Why are you hiding him?"
"Because I'm not staying,"
"And I'm not ready for the others to know. Not yet. Maybe not ever."
Seonghwa stepped toward her, torn between disbelief and heartbreak.
"You came all this way..."
She nodded, tears finally spilling.
"I just needed to tell San didn't leave the world without leaving something behind."
The boy looked up at both adults, confused by the tears but not frightened.
Seonghwa knelt down in front of him, his voice soft, reverent.
he whispered stroking his cheeks
The boy smiled—San's smile.
Bright. Gentle. Effortlessly warm.
Y/N pulled her son close, brushing her fingers through his soft hair.
"I'm not asking for anything,"
"I just... needed you to meet him. Needed one person to know the truth."
Seonghwa stood, wiping tears from his cheeks.
"What do you want me to do?"
he asked, voice trembling.
"Don't tell the others. Please. I don't want them to hurt again... not because of me. Not because of him , it's better they just don't know that I still exist at all "
Seonghwa looked from her... to the child... to the memories flooding back.
"But Y/N... I'm glad you came back. Even if it's only for tonight."
She smiled weakly stroking his cheek
And for a moment, the hallway was quiet—filled with grief, love, loss... and something that felt like healing.
" I've missed you so much you don't even know how much I've wanted to turn everything around so that we would be together again "
" It is what it is , I've forgotten about it and i don't resent you or the others "
Seonghwa looked at her with tears as he shook his head still in disbelief
" And you should let go too find something or even better someone that will keep you going "
Y/N adjusted Siah in her arms, the little boy now fully asleep, cheek pressed against her shoulder.
Seonghwa watched him with soft eyes, then looked back up at Y/N.
"You said you're not staying,"
"But... what will you do now?"
Y/N exhaled, her breath shaky.
"I've been thinking about that a lot,"
"I want to take him somewhere quiet. Somewhere nobody knows me, or him"
" Start fresh. He deserves a childhood that isn't shaped by grief."
Seonghwa nodded slowly, his brows pulling together in sympathy.
"Does he know his grandparents?"
"I couldn't bring myself to show up at their door with him. I didn't want to reopen their wounds. I didn't want them to see him and break all over again."
Seonghwa nodded slowly, understanding completely.
“ Yes I know , and that’s what scares me the most ”
She sighed and adjusted the sleeping child on her chest
"I don't know if I'm ready for that,"
"I don't know if they're ready either. Maybe when he's older. Maybe when I'm stronger."
he asked, voice barely above a whisper making her take a deep breath
"I want to go somewhere peaceful,"
"Maybe a smaller city. Maybe by the ocean. Somewhere he can run, and play, and not feel like he's part of a story that ended in tragedy."
This wasn't just a goodbye — it was the last page of a chapter neither of them knew they were still reading.
Seonghwa nodded, even though every part of him wished she could stay a few minutes longer.
He replied as he prepared himself mental to depart from her once again
" Just... one more thing."
she asked gently , He smiled sadly.
" I'm sorry for ruining us , and every pain that I caused you Seonghwa ”
“ Hey , don’t you dare apologize for anything you didn’t do to me , all you ever did was love me ”
“ Promise me you won’t blame yourself for anything regarding us ever again ”
Seonghwa closed his eyes for a moment, breathing in the promise like something sacred.
"Good," he said softly. "That's all I needed."
She adjusted Siah one last time, stepped toward the door, paused—
"Goodbye, Y/N. Take care of him...and yourself."
Then she walked out — into the quiet night — carrying her son and the relief she didn't know she had.
And Seonghwa watched the door close, knowing this was the last time he'd ever see the only piece of his heart .
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