Overly Sarcastic Productions - sentence starters
1. “Please note: ______ does not condone violence. Or at least not murder. And usually not violence.”
2. “I’ve been turned into a robot! Send help! My emotions are fading away!”
3. “What ho, fellow humans. Are you enjoying having skin today?”
4. “I got it! Just give me an ax and a pot lid, I don’t even needs pants!”
5. “I keep trying to shoot people in the head, and they keep not getting shot in the head by me, and it’s very frustrating.”
6. “So are there, like, animals that aren’t bears, or do you just have really bad luck with bears specifically?”
7. “I’m a sleeve-hater with very high standards, alright? If I’m going to be displaying these deadly weapons, I want to do it in a nice case, you know.”
8. “Dear _____, eat shit. Signed, ______.”
9. “It’s a danger noodle! It’s the most dangerous noodle!”
10. “That was the worst thing I’ve experienced in a long-ass time, and I just got shot in the face seventeen times!”
11. “Why can I only sprint for two seconds before running out of breath? This is too much like real life.”
12. “In a post-apocalypse, fashion faux pas are acceptable as long as you have a distinct personal style.”
13. “All I see is that we got to _____ so much faster because of that. Think of how much time we saved rolling down the hill.”
14. “Given a choice between boyfriends and the moon, girls pick the moon every time.”
15. “The 70s called. They want to know if they can borrow some of your stash.”
16. “Let’s file that under ‘things you should probably never say, ever, just to be safe’.”
17. “I don’t think we appreciate the sun enough. And I say this as someone who gets sunburns from Hubble pics and people with unusually shiny teeth.”
18. “No more joking: if you do this, I will hunt you down and slap you.”
19. “See, stuff like this? It’s why you weren’t invited in the first place.”
20. “You warned me that you were going to do the voice, and I still wasn’t prepared.”
21. “Luckily, there is another, much more efficient option: murder.”
22. “I’m sorry, I must have misheard you. I was told there was murdering to be done around here, not arts and crafts.”
23. “Remind me to never pick a fight with a magpie. Apparently, those little scamps are stronger than they look.”
24. “Ugh, that was dumb! But not untrue.”
25. “You’d think people tend to sit still once they die, but sometimes corpses and bones become prolific travelers.”
26. “I like this one because it has many domes, each somehow dome-ier than the last.”
27. “And I am way too hopped up on cold meds to have any capacity for new research, self-awareness, or remorse.”
28. “That is too many horses. Put those back.”
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