• okay but like does anyone remember that jonas brothers song
• i fell in love with the pizza girl ,,, now i eat pizza every day,,,
• BC that’s what i think it would be like if vernon was your pizza delivery boy
• okay from the beginning
•you’re a university student and exams have been destroying your happiness lately
• you want to die basically
• like you work so hard at your job and at studying that you NEVER get a break and it’s so,,, stifling,,, you just want to graduate and LEAVE
•so when you finally get a day without exams where you can just chill, you order pizza
• because why not??
• and since you’re ordering it online it has that lil box at the bottom that asks for special instructions
• at first you were gonna write the classic “send ur cutest delivery boy”
• but you didn’t really feel like fixing you hair and outfit to impress some pizza boy that probably wasn’t even cute in the first place tBH
• so you go with your second option: “pls tell me a quality pizza pun when u arrive. thx.”
• most of the time those pizza places don’t even pay attention to the requests unless it’s like an allergy mention or smth so u don’t really expect anything
• BUT BEHOLD
• when someone knocks on your apartment door you get up and head over w ur money
• you probably forgot that you even requested a pun lol
• you open your door to see a really cute delivery boy with a smile on his face
• u pause bc first of all what the heck
• then you remember your request and you excitedly ask him why
• so the boy just sort of gives you this dorky, satisfied grin and answers
• “They just weren’t rolling in the dough.”
• cue crickets
• bc like it was a good joke but it wasn’t /that/ good
• suddenly he’s embarrassed and red and he’s like “rlly let me try again i have better puns i prOmiSe!!!”
• since you’re feeling nice you let him try again
• “okay okay what did the angry customer give the pizzeria owner?”
• “wut”
• “a pizza his mind.”
• “that one was worst than the first one tbh”
• “NO WAY my puns are good”
• “mediocre at best”
• and the pizza delivery dude is not expecting a tip at this point bc you’re so freaking brutal abt his jokes that he searched the internet for on such short notice
• “pls im a college student w debt just have mercy on me”
• and now you’re actually giggling a bit bc did he think you weren’t gonna pay him??? like some kind of hooligan???
• please,,, you have class
• so you like hand over the money w his tip like “what’s ur name pizza boy”
• “it’s vernon”
• “makes sense. u look like a vernon”
• “is that an insult?”
• so he leaves and you’re happy bc of your pizza but also you’re kinda sad bc,,, dang,,, the pizza boy was cute and you didn’t even get his number,,,
• gUeSs yOuLL hAVe tO bUY mOrE pizZAs!!!1!11!1
• so that’s what you do and you don’t rlly know what to put under the special request to make sure you get vernon so
• you just kinda
• “send the boy with horrible puns pls”
• and everyone once again knows this is vernon bc no one tells horrible puns like he can
• so he’s back and you take more time to study his face bc he’s handsome obv
• like just imagine his black hair tucked under a red pizza cap,, and his eyes are really dark in contrast to his boyish smile like wow. a visual.
• “who did your eyebrows?”
• “uh,,, myself? wait what does that mean??? what do they do to your eyebrows?”
• so you explain eyebrow beauty to him
• where is this going destinee pick it up
• and during this time he’s actually pretty fascinated but then gAsP he forgot to open with his pun!!!!!
• “What’s the difference between a pizza and my pizza jokes?”
• “…”
• “my pizza jokes can’t be topped!”
•“pretty sure they can be topped”
• “next time i’m going to conveniently forget your garlic sauce”
• “who said i was going to call you again, delivery boy??”
• hE cAnT wIN
• lowkey thinks you’re cute so he puts up with ur incessant teasing
• “what’s ur name anyway?”
• “y/n”
• “well, y/n, since we’re friends now do you wanna listen to my mixtape”
• VERNON WOULD DO THIS YOU GUYS KNOW
• he’s already pullin out a blank cd with some horrible handwriting on it
• nd you accept it but like,,,, what are you supposed to do???
• thank him??,??,,?
• anyway vernon leaves bc he is on the job and has to deliver other pizzas before they get cold ya know
• so,, since you’re bored,,, you listen to the mixtape while you eat ur pizza
• and like some of the songs are lowkey cringe but some of them are highkey good
• now what do you do
• tell the pizza guy you like his rap??
• is that too far?? like he said you guys were friends but,,,,,
• the next time he comes you tell him that you rlly liked his mixtape and behold!!!
• lil vernon is blushing!!! bc you’re one of the first people to compliment him on his songs and it makes him super happy and mushy inside like what a dweeb
• TIME SKIP
• you and vernon keep this delivery boy/customer friendship or whatever up bc it’s fun and you guys kinda sort of think each other are cute
•like ObViOuSlY bc vernon is a d o r a b l e
•and you’re practically an ANGEL
• *20 starts playing*
• anyway yeah one day you’re craving pizza again so you make your order
• and when it asks for any special instructions
• you type in
• “send the cute pun boy”
• as a joke but gET THIS
• YOU ACCIDENTALLY PRESS SEND BEFORE YOU CAN DELETE IT
• so like while you wait for vernon to arrive u r freaking out and sWeAtiNG bc vErNoN cAnT kNoW yoU liKe hiM !!!1!1
• that’s weird !!!!!
• your doorbell rings and you’re shaking as you open the door bc you’re sure you’ve just ruined ur friendship w him
• but like when you open the vernon is just,,, leaning against the doorframe,,, w a smirk on his lips and red ears to match his cap,,,,
• “you…called…me…cute…”
• nd suddenly he’s getting closer to you and his smile is widening like where did he get this confidence from???
• skkahdhs and just when you think he’s going to kiss you he whispers
• “d’you wanna hear another pun?”
• LIKE WAY TO RUIN THE MOMENT VERNON
• but you gotta keep ur composure right so you reluctantly nod like yeah vernon!!! listening to your stupid puns is how i want to spend my time!!! definitely not kissing you!!! that’s for sure!!
• but this meme:
• “How do you know if you’re in love?”
• nd you stutter out a lil “what” bc is this just a joke or is he on to smth
• and he kinda smiles shyly and opens his pizza box
• “if they steal a pizza your heart!”
• you look down and the freakin pizza is shaped like a heart and has “will u go out w me?” written in pepperonis
• and it’s so cheesy
• hehe get it?
• that you can’t help but laugh like “ofc i’ll go out w you dork”
• and you invite him in to share the pizza
• luckily you’re his last stop for the night so the two of you can stay up all night talking and laughing and sharing puns over pizza
• goals tbh
germansingergirl
turnnoffyourmind
yousharknotpass
dededos
jacobvanloon
baratheonpilled
areudirty
