This is probably the most loveable of them all, my fave book of all time.
2.) A Riddle to Solve - SSTAR2000
Another really unique book, the mc is really powerful although some parts are a bit cringe (?) because it feels like she's everything like those memes on tt of y/n. Overall a good book though (try it out).
3.) Oh, Ophelia - Maebelletree
I really love this too especially because it is a unique book, I haven't read any other tmr books like this.
4.) Now and then - hmmdisgustin
It is just like the title going back and forth from now and then.
5.) Kneel - JulieHoscar
I absolutely abhor Tom Riddle in this book, but I'm still going to recommend it because I still do like this book. This book make me feel ambivalent.
6.) RIDDLE. DISCONTINUED - ravenclaws-
Although this book was discontinued, it still has a very good plot line, it shouldn't have been discontinued, but I guess it is very hard to write a story. Maybe in the future it will be renewed (?) hopefully.
7.) Midmorning - murderarts
This book is heartbreaking, even though it is only a short story, I still feel emotionally attached to it.
That's it for the recommendation, notice I did 7? It's because it is believed that Tom riddle rather likes the number 7 and also because of his seven horcruxes.
Summary: eddie has a date, with someone who isn’t you. you’re less than thrilled about it
Warnings: ANGST, jealousy, unrequited love, eddie being clueless, cursing, mentions of vomiting, me knowing nothing about D&D (i’m sorry but it deserves a warning), eventual best friends!-to-lovers!
Word Count: 4.6k
A/N: alright y’all this is the imagine i had talked about a few days ago and as someone who loves these kinds of fics, i’m quite proud of myself. also i apologize for my lack of knowledge about D&D, eddie would definitely be disappointed, but i had a friend read it over and he thinks it makes sense so we’re going with it! i hope you all enjoy :)- sava
part two (coming friday, july 22nd)
“Well hello everybody!” Eddie exclaims, scaring half the Hellfire lunch table with his presence. You hear groans and curses fill the table as Eddie laughs at the reactions he pulled from his friends. You just sit in the seat that’s located on the left of his, laughing at his usual antics, but curiosity begins to strike when you take a look at Eddie.
His face is bright and shiny, his smile stretching from ear to ear as he sits down with his lunch, pulling out some pretzels to munch on. You take in the other details about him, how his hair looks actually kept up and how he doesn’t reek of his usual pot smell, but of…cologne? You had no idea who it was that was sitting next to you, but it sure as hell wasn’t Eddie Munson.
“What’s got you so happy today, Eds?” You ask, nudging him with your elbow. He flashes you a big smile, pretzel bits showing along with his pearly whites. He looks adorable as ever.
“Well I’m glad you asked, sweetheart. I, Eddie Munson, have a date tonight,” he announces. Your heart does a summersault at the nickname, his nickname he always uses on you, before you fully process the second part of his statement, making your breathing stop for a moment. What the fuck?
You didn’t make this fact known, but you were crushing on Eddie…hard. The two of you have been close since your middle school days, having really connected with his band Corroded Coffin playing at the school talent show and approached them afterwards to share your appreciation. It’s been history ever since.
But it wasn’t until your freshman year of high school when you started crushing on Eddie. You had been having a hard time at home due to your parents divorce, and your father winning full custody meant you moved into the same trailer park Eddie and his Uncle Wayne lived in, the two of you growing closer than before now that you only lived a few doors down. You and Eddie would spend most of your nights together anyway, and one particular night your freshman year, you felt these butterflies flutter around in your stomach as your head rested against Eddie’s shoulder watching Sleepaway Camp, your and his favorite movie that you’d watch at least once a month together. Since that day you had kept your feelings hidden from him, not wanting to ruin things between you and your best friend. You thought the pain of not having him in your life at all outweighed the pain of being stuck in love with him, and that was a fight you’d be willing to battle.
“W-what? W-with who?” You ask, trying to cover up your slight stutter with a cough.
“Okay so you remember our latest show at the Hideout? Well with more and more people starting to show up as of recently, we’ve been getting some fans. And this girl, her name is Shirley, gave me her number and I thought ‘What the hell?’ and rang her up yesterday,” he explains to you and everyone at the table, the freshman not being able to help their curious little selves.
“That’s cool Eds,” you reply back, trying with all your willpower to remain neutral and shove the emotions you were actually feeling down deep inside.
“Yeah. We’re actually hanging out after Hellfire. She even said she might swing by, she’s been curious about the game a little. At least, that’s what she told me,” he tells you, causing you to drop your fork and look at him. He shoots you a weird expression at your reaction.
“Oops, sorry. But uh, I thought you weren’t allowing non-members into the meetings anymore?” You ask, your eyebrow raised.
“That’s true, but, as Dungeon Master, I’ll make an exception this one time. Who knows, maybe she could become an honorary member. She’s really cool, Y/N. You’d get along with her great,” he tells you as he clasps his hand on your shoulder.
“I seriously doubt it,” you mutter lowly, hoping your close proximity to Eddie didn’t allow him to hear. As if a saving grace occurred, the lunch bell rang and you jolted up from your seat, collecting your trash. You could see Eddie eyeing you from your peripheral. One thing there is about Eddie, he’s observant as hell. You’d usually applaud and commend it, but in cases where you were trying best to hide your feelings, you absolutely hated it. Sometimes you wondered how you were able to get away with him not knowing how you truly felt, but all the more relieved that he didn’t.
“Hey sweetheart? Is everything okay?” He asks you. You quickly turn to him with a slight smile and nod, before rushing towards the trash can that sat behind him.
“Yep, all good. Just gotta go tend to some newspaper stuff. I’ll see you at Hellfire!” Your words moving as fast as your legs as you bid the table goodbye until your meeting tonight, practically sprinting towards the newspaper room, where you’d spill your feelings to one Nancy Wheeler in your secluded gossip corner.
Nancy was one of the only people who knew about your crush on Eddie. The two of you have been super close since you started high school, and even more so with all the shit that’s happened with the Upside Down that started when the two of you were sophomores. Plus, with her brother now joining the Hellfire Club, she asked you to keep an eye on him, especially with everything that’s already happened in Hawkins, but you really didn’t blame her for that.
Stumbling down the hall with your backpack sliding off your shoulders, you open the doors to the newspaper room and see Nancy’s head pop up from her collaborating with Fred. You walk down the stairs calmly while giving her a pleading look, nodding your head towards the corner the two of you have your major discussions at. She gives you a small nod before returning to her conversation with Fred.
You unpack your bag and begin working a bit on the paper while you wait for Nancy. You were trying your best to remain calm, focussing on your breathing so you didn’t get worked up more than you were when you started talking with Nancy. Your mind had a habit of working against you, running a hundred miles a minute coming up with the absolute worst scenario of every situation you encountered. You didn’t need to be thinking doubtfully about your friendship with Eddie, but you physically couldn’t help it.
How could Eddie have a date with someone and not tell you sooner?
The two of you were best friends, he always told you when something great happens to him immediately after, and you do the same with him. Living just a few doors down, you had that luxury of always being near the person when you celebrate your wins, or comfort one another in your losses. So him keeping this from you until the next day? It definitely hurt, in more ways then one, and you didn’t quite understand it. Would you still be upset about it? Absolutely, so that bit didn’t matter much. You just wanted to know why. Why he’s choosing to date someone now, after being single for so long. Why he-
“Hey, I’m here. Sorry, I was working with Fred on the basketball story,” Nancy tells you, pulling you out of your zoned-out state.
“No worries,” you say, your voice residing somewhere distant. You feel a slight kick come from under the desk, prompting you to look down for a second, before bringing your eyes up to see Nancy, who shoots you a look of concern. Nancy too, was very observant, from what you’ve seen over your friendship the past three, nearly four, years. The people you surrounded yourself with the most were some of the most observant people in Hawkins, which was both a blessing and a curse. You sigh, turning slightly closer to her, ready to confess.
“Eddie has a date tonight,” you whisper softly. You watch her jaw open, as shocked as you were. At least, hoping in the same sense that you were, and not in a negative way. You never really knew about Nancy’s stance on Eddie, whether she liked him or not. The way you talk about him all the time you would think she’d be sick of it all, but never stopped you from spilling your secrets out to her.
“No way! With who?” She whisper-yells, scooting closer to you. You watch over her shoulder at Fred and some others looking your way, so you fake working on a spread, signaling Nancy to do the same.
“Some girl that came to their gig at the Hideout on Tuesday. I didn’t see it so it must’ve been when I went to the bathroom,” you continue to tell her while fake focusing on the piece of paper in front of you. Your entire demeanor suddenly became deflated, saying it aloud and hearing it from yourself. All becoming so real.
“That’s crazy. Are you okay, Y/N?”
“No, but what can I do about it? He and I aren’t dating, so I have no room to say who he can or can’t date,” you answer. You peak over at her and see her looking you dead in the eye, to which you couldn’t blame her. Even you didn’t believe what you were saying.
“Yeah, I know. He said she might stop by Hellfire, and, Nance, I have no idea how I’m supposed to get through the meeting tonight if she’s there,” you tell her. She reaches out and squeezes your hand and you give her a tight-lipped smile.
“Hey, if you think it’ll help, I can pick you up from Hellfire tonight and we can chill at my house for a sleepover. Junk food, distractions…I can even invite Robin and see if she’ll pick up some tapes after her shift at Family Video tonight,” Nancy suggests. You eyes widen in excitement and nod, truly needed a night where you don’t talk or think about Eddie. Just a night with your girls.
“That would honestly be the best, thank you Nance,” you tell her. She flashes a warm smile your way and scoots a bit away from you.
“Perfect. I’ll pick you and Mike up at 9 after I get Robin from her shift, if she’s free. It’ll be fun,” you tells you. You agree and continue working on your spread, excitement flowing through your body at the thought of a fun night ahead, even with the dread buried in the pit of your stomach at the thought seeing Eddie tonight at Hellfire with a woman at his side. A woman that wasn’t you.
Running down the halls and towards the room behind the theater, you look at your watch and try to pick up the pace. You had lost track of time in your efforts in avoiding Eddie by doodling some drawings in the sketchbook that you kept on you at all times, which in turn made you late to Hellfire, something you never did. But in your defense, you usually had Eddie giving you a ride to and from the meetings. Today was not like the rest. Walking through the threshold of the meeting room, you give yourself a few moments to catch your breath.
“Sorry I’m late, I-“ you began to say, but were interrupted by giggling coming from Eddie’s throne. You see a girl with strappy heels and a short, short dress leaning against it playing with Eddie’s brunette fringey curls. That must be Shirley.
“Oh good, you’re here. We almost started without you,” Dustin exclaims, his goofy smile appearing on his face.
“Yeah, I doubt it,” you tell him, throwing your bag in the seat closest to him and ruffling his hair, him protesting and swatting at you in return. You notice out of the corner of your eye Eddie giving you a confused look, then looking towards your usual seat, which remained empty. It was no secret that you had your own seat in Hellfire, right next to the Dungeon Master himself, but today, you knew it was best to keep your distance. Didn’t want to interfere with his date and all.
“Alright, now that everyone’s here,” Eddie pauses, giving you a look. You chose to just look at the table in front you to avoid eye contact. “Lets start.”
Dustin is the first to roll the dice, and everyone around watches as the campaign for the week begins. You try your best to pay attention to the game in front of you, but keep getting distracted by the amount of giggling coming from Eddie’s throne, due to himself and Shirley. They were acting like those couples you and Eddie would make fun of in the halls that were practically fucking in the halls of Hawkins High, and you’d always make fake sick sounds as you passed by them. Now that he’s acting those same people right in front of you and the rest of the club, you felt yourself growing sick, for real this time.
You stood to the side as you watched Shirley climb in Eddie’s lap, draping herself all over him and her lips ghosting over his ears as she whispers little things in his ears, and the reactions he gives to her words make you want to punch a wall. Not in anger, but in jealous. The green eyed monster had awoken inside you, and you felt yourself getting riled up at the thought of them continuing this act throughout the rest of the meeting. The worst part of it all? You knew this isn’t where the night ended for them, and you could only imagine what other kinds of plans they had up their sleeves.
“Y/N, you’re up,” Mike whispers to you, snapping you out of your small jealousy-induced trance. You take the dice from Gareth and shake the dice in your cold hands a few times, before tossing them on the table.
6.
You didn’t have enough health to pull any big moves. No luck to play the hero tonight. You sigh and slump your shoulders as the rest of the group lets out an annoyed groan. You were completely off your game for the night and you knew with how observant the club was, they could tell. But luckily for you, they didn’t press you about any issues you may be having.
“What’s your move, Lady Y/N?” Eddie asks you, his smug look making your skin crawl. Usually his dramatics during the game always wowed you and you’d join in, but it was hard to take in anything he was saying or doing with the leech that was attached to his hip.
“I…retreat,” you say, taking a step back from the table and Mike is quick to take the dice and roll for himself in order to save the campaign. You walk over to the seat you set your stuff in and take the sketchbook out you’d been busy with before the meeting and begin to draw.
“Do you know where the closest bathroom is, rockstar?” you hear Shirley ask. You mentally groan.
“Sure thing. Y/N, can you show her where it is?” Eddie asks, turning to you. You place your sketchbook back in your bag and stand from your chair. Flashing Eddie a fake smile, you nod and begin to walk towards the door, the sound of Shirley’s heels clicking behind you filling your ears.
The halls are quiet as you make your way to the bathroom around the corner.
“So you and Eddie, you’re best friends right?” Shirley asks you as you continue your journey to the bathroom.
“Yep, since middle school,” you answer.
“Oh that’s cool! I’m gonna be honest, I was a little worried when Eddie told me he had a girl best friend. I always think guy girl friendships are weird and don’t last. They usually always end up dating in the end or ending the friendship because one likes the other, and the other doesn’t feel the same way. At least, that’s how I see them,” she rambles. You slowly nod and point out the bathroom, her thanking you and doing a fake little run inside.
Pressing your back against the wall outside the bathroom, you can’t help but think on the words she said, the thoughts of you and Eddie ending your friendship lingering and seeping into every fiber of your body. It’s the exact reason you kept your feelings deep down and hidden, but would that work out in the end? Are you putting yourself through the pain and heartache for nothing?
The bathroom doors opens once more and she comes out.
“Thanks for waiting for me. I’m really excited to hangout with Eddie after your club ends,” she tells you.
“What exactly do you two have planned?” You ask, your curiosity getting the best of you. Part of you didn’t want to know, but your brain was screaming at you to find out.
“Nothing special. We’re gonna go back to his place and hangout, maybe smoke some. He also mentioned something about watching a movie…Sleepaway Camp? Have you heard of it?”
You froze.
Did she really just say that?
She stops and turns to you, giving you a look of concern. You felt the world around you starting to spin, the feelings from everything starting to come up.
“I-um, I’m sorry, but I-I’m not feeling too great right now. The theater’s in there, but I’m gonna go outside and get some air. C-Can you tell someone to bring my stuff out to me when everything ends?” You ask, your voice shaking as you lean against the wall for support. She gives you a nod and scurries inside the theater, leaving you to bolt out the doors of the school and towards the parking lot.
You bent over and held onto the railing by the stairs that spilled out into the parking lot, convincing yourself you needed to wretch. The feelings clouding your brain were mixed, swirling together in a nasty mixture that you weren’t sure how you’d describe to Nancy and Robin. The feels of hate and sadness blurring the lines and becoming one as you stood outside, wishing you had your jacket to protect your from the harmful feelings and the cool March temperature.
Sitting on the stairs with no luck on spewing your guts out, you let out a sigh and hug yourself in a pathetic attempt to warm up a bit. Your body grew cold rather easily, something that was always an issue, but the solution, or rather the two, were inside. You kept your jacket on you at all times, even despite the temperature being hot, because you never know when you might need it. In the event you forgot your jacket, Eddie would either lend you one of his, or just wrap himself around you, rubbing your arms with his big ring-clad hands to get you in a good place. You always welcomed that comfort. It felt nice being so close to him, even if he may not feel the same.
Your pity party is interrupted by a car pulling into the lot and parking right by the stairs. As the window rolls down, you see Robin pop her head out in a cheerful manner, but soon her features soften when she takes in your sour expression and sad body language.
“What happened?” Nancy asks from the driver seat. You rise to your feet with a sigh and walk over to the car, leaning inside through the window.
“More like what didn’t happen,” you respond, shaking your head and shrugging.
“Did that girl show up? Nancy filled me in on everything when she picked me up, so I have a ton of movie choices for tonight,” Robin rambles.
“Yeah she showed up. And they were being gross and lovey-dovey all night. Made me want to puke,” you explain. You feel Robin’s hand touch yours in an attempt to comfort you, to which you place your other hand on top of hers and give it a pat.
“And what prompted you to be out here instead of inside?” Nancy asks.
“Well first off-“ you begin, but hear laughter coming from behind you as the school doors open. You turn and see everyone laughing and walking together, the meeting drawing to an end for the week and you let out a soft sigh. Everyone goes in different directions, with Jeff, Gareth, and Dustin going off in one direction, Eddie and Shirley going towards their van, and Lucas and Mike coming towards you guys. Mike nor Lucas had your bag in their hands, which made you worried that you’d have to go all weekend without your supplies and homework.
“Wait, Y/N, where’s your stuff?” Robin asks. You shrug your shoulders and turn to the side, Eddie standing by Nancy’s car. You see his unreadable demeanor comes closer to you, his eyes fixed on yours as he holds out your bag to you. Taking it, you sling it over your shoulder and slide over as he kept walking closer to the window you once hung out of.
“Wheeler, you might if I borrow Y/N for a sec before you take off?” He asks. You watch Nancy nod and Eddie leads you over away from her car, out of ear shot of both Nancy and that crew, and Shirley, who’s waiting at Eddie’s van. You both just look at each other for a moment, you not really knowing what to say.
“Thanks for grabbing my-“
“What’d I do?” He asks you, his voice sounding neutral. You look towards the ground and swing back and forth on your feet for a moment, trying to think of a reasonable excuse for your behavior today.
“Nothing,” you reply, your eyes glued to the ground.
“You can’t even look at me, Y/N,” he says, looking down to try and catch your eyes. You let out a huff and look back up at him, trying to get this conversation over with, which was something you never wished with Eddie.
“There’s nothing wrong, okay? I promise,” you tell him. Now it was his turn to huff, added with a kick to the ground. You could see that you’re irritating him, and if you were him, you’d be irritated as well. But today was not your day, you just needed time away from him and try to bury the feelings you had towards him even further down. Take the weekend and recoup. Not to mention, his date was merely a hundred feet away and waiting for him to go back to your place and watch a movie together. Your guys’ movie.
“Y/N, please, I know you better than anyone. Can you please ju-“
“Eds! Are we going soon?” Shirley yelled from the van.
Ouch.
She just used your signature nickname for him.
What else did they plan on taking from you today?
“Soon sweetheart, I promise,” Eddie yelled back.
Double ouch.
Now he was using your signature nickname.
“You know what Eddie, just go, she’s waiting on you. Have fun watching Sleepaway Camp,” you tell him. Shit, why’d you just say that.
Your mind was starting to think before your mouth, the feelings that have been brewing the entire day bubbling to the surface and taking over the part of your brain that had rational thinking. That green-eyed monster was started to show her true colors. You turn on your heel and begin to take off towards Nancy’s car, when you feel Eddie grasp your wrist, stopping you.
“Wait, Y/N, how’d you know we were watching Sleepaway Camp? Did she tell you that?” He asks. You sigh and shift towards him.
“Yeah, we talked in the hall. But it’s not big deal Eddie, just go,” you say, not understanding why he was so determined to make things right between the two of you right now? Yeah, the two of you hated leaving things in a bad place, but you never pressed him about anything he was super upset about or just didn’t feel like talking about, and usually he was the same with you. Maybe today was not destined to be in the cards for you after all.
“You’re jealous,” he says matter-of-factly. You scoff and cross your arms, trying to add another layer of defense between you and your fragile heart that was about to break loose with all these feelings. You were starting to lose your resolve, and you weren’t sure how much longer you’d be able to hold yourself together.
“I am not jealous!”
“You are totally jealous! Jealous that I’m spending time with someone, a girl, who isn’t you. Don’t worry, Y/N, you aren’t being replaced, I’ll always make time for you,” he tells you, thinking he’s helped, when really, it only hurt more. Like he thought he’d have to pencil you into his life.
“It’s not that Eds-“ you begin to say, but his laugh cuts you off.
“Then what is it then? You mad you don’t have a ride? Or-or-or upset that we’re watching Sleepaway Camp?” he pesters you. You could feel yourself getting really worked up and uncomfortable, wanting to just jet off to Nancy’s car and ride far away from this conversation.
“Oh wait, do you like me or something Is that it? Do you have a big ol’ crush on me?” He asks mockingly, making you freeze. “Just tell me what’s wrong Y/N, please.”
You hesitate.
Fuck.
You. Fucking. Hesitate.
“N-no, I don’t have a crush on you,” you say, brushing it off with a weak laugh. You see Eddie himself freeze, looking at you with a deadpan expression. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
“Wait, Y/N…you have a crush on me?” he asks. That was definitely an understatement. You swallow down a breath that wasn’t able to escape, your body beginning to shake in fear.
You see the way his entire demeanor changed when he realized. The dramatics you so desperately loved stopped all together, replacing it with a scared look. Scared that it’s true and he had to let you down? Scared that he didn’t feel the same way? Scared it was you, of all people? That familiar feeling of wanting to throw your guts up began to boil in the pit of your stomach, your chest tightening as you continued to stare Eddie down like a dear caught in headlights, the silence booming throughout the parking lot. You couldn’t handle this, not tonight. You’ve already had the shittiest day possible, you need to escape before you lose your best friend forever.
You take off in the opposite direction, towards Nancy’s car as you hear Eddie calling after you. The tears were brimming your eyelids, desperate to fall and let every emotion you’ve been bottling up all day to come out in a flood. You open the car door and hop inside, practically shoving Mike in the middle.
“Drive Nance,” you say, shooting them a pleading look.
“Wait, Y/N, what happened?” Robin asks.
“Nancy, can you please drive away, now,” your voice raising as you plead. Nancy responds by changing the gear and stomping her foot on the gas pedal, making your escape out of the parking lot and away from Eddie Munson, who you can see still standing in the empty lot watching you leave. You let out a shaky breath as you turn and face out the window, hot tears rolling down your cheeks and sobs racking your body as you all make the journey to the Wheeler’s house.
i hope y’all enjoyed! comments, likes, and reblogs are greatly appreciated! :)
↳ a/n: i just felt like writing angst. don't get me wrong, i love all the smut and fluffy eddie fanfics but a girl needs to get sad sometimes :')
also forgive me if there are inaccurate points in this story, I'm not really familiar with what life is in america and i just based it off in what i've seen in medias 😅
pls take note that english is not my first language and there might be incorrect spellings or grammar, feel free to correct me. enjoy!!
[Let's pretend everyone knows each other before the whole vecna thing and he started attacking in summer instead of spring for the sake of my fanfics plot.]
↳ summary: a drunken confession doesn't always end up the way they do in movies.
↳ warning/s: angst, language, alcohol, mentions of vomit, not proofread
↳ pairings: eddie munson x fem!reader, robin/nancy/steve x platonic!reader
↳ word count: 4.1k
It was a tragic event in some point of your life the moment you started to see Eddie more than a best friend. His doe brown eyes more prominent as the orange hue of sunlight seeps its way on his irises, and while no one pays attentions into this —not that its a very urgent matter to have the pattern of his eyes etched into memory— you watch in awe and savor the image as something only you get to have a privilege to daydream about at nights, or more accurately, every seconds of your life. While you unfortunately don't have the angle to stare at his eyes, it was a very good thing that Eddie Munson happens to have the perfect shade of lips to also gawk at. You watch as his lips move in different ways depending on whatever words come out of his mouth, and what really makes you shiver into core is the way he wets his lips in mannerism, this man have little to no idea with how you're down bad for him, you get so lost in it that even Eddie stops midway of the conversation to shake you off your thoughts, having realized that you were no longer listening by the way you just stopped fidgeting, but his very oblivious behavior thankfully didn't realize his best friend was fantasizing about his lips.
You had first befriended Eddie wayback in middle school, his weird personality drew you into him. You could say he was a rare type of person, while there's literally a hundred carbon copies of bullies, know-it-alls, girls who only dress to impress and blah blah blah. Not once did you find anyone who's like Eddie, sure there were some who may be similar to him in some type of way, but it was the vibe that makes him so special to others. And you had no intent of befriending someone like him just to fill that empty gap if in case your friendship goes downhill. Surprisingly, Eddie thought of you the same, and that's where both of you clicked off and were inseparable since then, despite your growing reputation in Hawkins high by joining the cheerleader team, not once did you try to save yourself from evil glares by avoiding Eddie. The rest of the cheerleader team did not take this too kindly and even went as far as to convince you that he's no good news with evidence from- well. rumors. It had you laughing internally, surely with your friendship with him, you know him more than the rest in the school campus, or let alone Hawkins at that. You paid no mind though, and you were also grateful to have Chrissy —your friend aside from Eddie— there by your side and even she disagreed with the students' hatred towards Eddie and the rest of his Club, seeing it only as them being ignorant having grown up with a boring and scarily brainwashed from their religious family that everything unusual are already deemed as something satanic.
It was the last week of your senior year in Hawkins High, a place not so pleasant as it is filled with bustling crowds, loud noises and whatever type of sounds you can imagine, but to say you won't miss your time there would be an understatement. After all, Hawkins High did help you become who you are today, preparing you with social conflicts that you may come across one day. It felt good to be finally out on your own, sure you still have to survive more years in college but the difference was you were out of this cursed town and hopefully you won't have a sudden change of heart to return here for whatever reason. Plus not to mention, you're getting your own place at least close to whatever university accepts you but the never ending dream of moving to florida had not once changed as you grew older and older, it was annoying having to put up with your relatives bickering and pestering your passion just because they don't see you fit to live in an environment such as 'florida' and that one day you'd get over that phase. Imagine the scowl on their faces when they realize that that dream never left you.
Deep down in your very tenacious nature, an evanescent crack that lay unmoving in the middle of your heart divided into two, the other side enraptured with your endless yearning for success and the other solely preserved for Eddie —a haunting thought of staying in Hawkins engrossed your mind overtime whenever your thoughts of him and what could've been and the future of your education aligns in a specific run of time. Then comes with it is a heavy weight feeling of vacillation that has left you staring at your ceiling in the middle of the night. Though it may be a very disrespectful guess, you were unsure if Eddie's time to graduate was this year. Considering he was still the same inconsiderate person as the last year having repeated the words 'this is my year' as he spoke with much enthusiasm, where it just ended just the same with him in the same grade level for the past two school years. An eternity cycle that not only plagued his life but yours as well.
This week was mostly filled with stressful endeavors but the results of the exam that had just happened the day before was ultimately excellent, your hard work paying off and it was a sigh of relief when the one and only Steve Harrington offered to celebrate your success by throwing a party in which you almost declined if it had not been of the details that only your circle of friends were invited which included; Robin, Eddie, Nancy, Dustin, Mike, Lucas and Max which was pretty small for a party but it didn't matter though. A huge crowd would have had you clutch your head in a buzzing pain from a never ending chattering.
The gathering had started about thirty minutes ago and you were confident it won't end in an hour or so the next, hell, even it feels like all of you would stay at the Harrington's until tomorrow considering that Steve's parents are away for what you recalled him mentioning for two or a few more weeks. Obviously the younger ones were stripped off the privilege of drinking an alcohol, not only because it's illegal or all of the responsible adults would get to experience the fury of their respective guardians but mainly because you didn't want to clean up after their mess, especially if it would be the first time they've drunk off their asses. First ones would usually end in disasters.
You had been meaning to ask Eddie about his score in the current exam, seeing as you didn't have the chance to hang out with him due to your determination in passing. He had declined your offer to study with him, using the 'my uncle needs me to help with his work' as an excuse along with a very translucent lie with a 'I'll make time to study, don't worry'. You had contemplated arguing with him but decided against it, bickerings with Eddie about small things would sometimes end up with both of your communication cut off until the other had the nerve to apologize first and you'd continue being the best friends you both are as if you weren't about to strangle each other to death a few days earlier.
Either way, even with doubts you believed Eddie and his speech once in the cafeteria before spring break was spoken much with pride in his voice, his words planted deep in its roots that he was sure of the outcome as it blossoms.
Before you know it, you are brought back from the draining thoughts of the finals by Steve's booming voice;
"Alright, I'm gonna get another bottle of beer,"
Right, you had forgotten you were engaged in a conversation with Robin, Nancy and Steve. If only Eddie had arrived here earlier you wouldn't have drifted far off your mind. Luckily, the three of them didn't seem to notice the distant look in your eyes.
"You want one, y/n?" Steve added, a wary look on his face. Nancy and Robin who were now occupied in each other's exchange were mindless to Steve's change of tone as he turned to you.
"Yeah sure." You said. Aware that this would be the fourth bottle for the night. The longing for a certain dark haired metal head didn't seem to sink deeper in the alcohol that you had consumed, a possibility of him not arriving put a hole in your chest that made you sad.
Steve's retreating figure disappeared into the entrance of his house, the chattering and yelling of the kids playing dungeons and dragons inside along with the cackle of firewood burning mixed with the gossiping of two of your friends immersed you into a hypnotic tranquility of your mind. Before you knew it, an approaching step behind you had doubled, indicating that it wasn't only Steve returning with a new bottle of beer in his hands. He reached his hand on the left of your shoulder, using the cold and wet bottle to tap you thrice in which you accepted without diverting your gaze away from the grass beneath your green converse.
"Hey, look who's here." Steve along with Eddie entered your line of sight as they sat in the chair just at an angle where you can see their faces clearly. All the five of you sat in a circle, on your left was Robin, beside her was Nancy, an empty chair, Steve and then Eddie next to him making him beside you on your right.
Your eyes widened in delight as your long awaited friend fortunately didn't bail out on your little party. He turned to offer you a smile. The smell of a cheap cologne along with the lingering remnants of nicotine sticking on to his clothes greeted you with a comforting familiarity.
"I thought you weren't gonna come." You told him, returning a smile. You leaned forward to show interest in a conversation with him.
"And miss all the fun? hell nah, besides I get to see a familiar pretty face here."
His words had made you blush, an overwhelming feeling deep inside you made your heart beat in an abnormal pace, you were sure it's gonna burst right then and there. Eddie who moved closer too scrunched his face in a dawning heed that the beer Steve had recently passed onto you wasn't exactly the first you drank tonight. The way your eyes are almost in a half close position and how you were on a verge of struggling with your words hinted that he was in fact right about his assumptions and not to mention —how your breath smells like beer. Eddie wished he had arrived sooner, maybe he could've helped your alcohol consumption. It sounded hypocritical especially with his behaviors regarding the substance but Eddie is exactly the type of person who would think others are more important than his own life, and he cares for you deeply.
"Did you drink too much?" He turned his head on his right side, just right when Steve finished taking a sip of the already half filled liquid in his hand.
"Don't look at me man, I'm as worried as you but I'm sure she'll manage." Steve gave you a nod.
Silently thanking him, you raised a hand to give him a thumbs up.
"'Ight, as long as you don't puke all over me and say stupid shit like the last time." Eddie laughed, sending you once again in a heavenly bliss somewhere in the back of your mind where you had embedded every detail of his laugh and smile. A burning desire to getting what you want —him— had consumed all your doubts and all it took for you to finally say the word was if everything had vanished in the space around you and all that's left was his presence that you couldn't get tired of.
The heat from the bonfire added a feeling of warmth on your cheeks, it had made the words seem to stuck and left undelivered in your occupied mind. Robin who was oblivious to her heroic interference had you internally sigh in relief, saving you for what could become an awkward staring session as to seeing Eddie kept his gaze on you.
"You guys wanna play that dumb game truth or dare?" She slurred.
"Why not." Nancy shrugged in agreement beside her.
"Really? that's so childish," Steve chirped.
All three of them diverted their gaze on both you and Eddie, waiting for your response.
"Sure why not." Eddie who now unfortunately doesn't have his attention on you, said.
"Okay, yeah. Sure." You cleared your throat. Already missing a certain someone's eyes on you even though it had made you nervous.
"See Steve? It looks like you're the only kill joy around here." Robin chuckled.
"Oh shut up, since you suggested it, you play first." Steve grumbled, though a bit annoyed with Robin, he can't help but let out a light laugh.
It was nights like these that had made you sulk in despair as the thought of never coming back to Hawkins comes back to visit your mind again. How probably this will be the last time you'll ever see them again, that there's no one the same as Robin's cheerful personality with great humor. Nancy's ability to illuminate even the darkest room as she saunters into one. Steve's cunning mind and determination to help those who he cares about and most importantly Eddie. The first person that made you love living in Hawkins the moment you and your family moved years ago. Not only was he good at making a fool out of you in a joking way but he was also a very nice person, despite what people spread rumors about him. That was one of the things you admired about Eddie, his talent at not letting simple words get to him, not once did he let it affect the way he is. No matter what, Eddie was still the very thing that made you like him. Hell, he even has a great taste in music.
"Okay, y/n can start asking me truth or dare and then me then Nancy, Steve and then Eddie and so on until we're bored out of our mind."
"m'kay, Robin, truth or dare?" You started.
"Dare." She replied, a brave look present on his face which caused the little group to break out into snickers.
"Okay, I dare you to say the most horrifying thing you could think of to the next person." All the rest of you didn't miss the dry look overcoming Robin's face as she dropped the winning smirk previously.
"Oh god, I should've chosen truth, damn it." A few seconds passed by and Robin turned to Nancy, having already thought of what she'll tell her. But not before saying;
"I hope you'll still talk to me after this Nance." which resulted in all of you laughing.
The game continued for minutes, there was an uncomfortable atmosphere then, some truths that made your tiny circle fall into a stomach wrenching laughter that had you gasping for air. While there were a sudden pause in the game now and then where either one of you stood up to offer to bring in more drinks and before you know it, you're on your fifth bottle for the night. Your vision fogging now and then, an unnecessary laughter for whatever memory came into your mind and a very warm feeling in your chest as the world seemed to spin faster.
"So, y/n, truth or dare?" Eddie asked, with his fourth beer for the night placed in his hands, the ring on his fingers making noises as it clashed with the bottle.
"Truth." You blurted out without a second thought, your mind fuzzy, head leaned back as it rests on the top of the chair's backrest, eyes half closed. The nauseating feeling starts to consume you, in hopes of it disappearing, you ignored the bubbling in the back of your throat.
"Among these people in the group circle, who would you date?" And as if Eddie turned on a switch with his words, you lurched forward with your right hand flying to cover your mouth.
"Oh my god, she's gonna vomit!" Robin yelled.
Your feet dragged you inside Steve's house, already making your way to his bathroom. Surprisingly, you were able to hold what was about to come out of your mouth. You hurriedly lifted the toilet cover, and as if on queue, you retch the contents of your stomach on the white ceramic.
Unbeknownst to you, Eddie didn't waste any second as he followed you throughout the house, and as you hunched over the toilet, he rested his hand on your back in a comforting manner.
"Told you to go slow." He said, worry in his voice.
You relaxed from the warmth radiating off his palms, even with the thick coat of your hoodie did not blockade it from easing you. Though you already felt the silent rumble of your stomach indicating that you were going to throw up no more, comes with a thudding headache that makes you close your eyes as if trying to make it go away. Your hand managed to flash the toilet, as the other went to wipe the excess vomit on your mouth.
Eddie, who had noticed you struggling, put his hands on either side of your waist to help you stand up. Guiding you to the sink. The moment was silent, except for the running tap and the snoring of the kids downstairs. Even with your mind out of nowhere, you couldn't ignore the growing tension between you and Eddie. Feeling his eyes on you in front of the mirror, you refused to look up.
"Hey, you feel better now?" Eddie whispered.
"Yes." You said plainly and rather quickly, afraid that you wouldn't have it in you to shut up once the words you've always wanted him to know start flowing out of your mind. You started to move, mainly trying to avoid the now awkward atmosphere. Your definitive demeanor to escape the interaction had made you forget you could barely walk, you stumbled forward, but luckily Eddie managed to hold either side of your shoulders to steady you.
Unconsciously, you raised your eyes to look at him through your eyelashes, and then the alcohol had made your thoughts inevitable from being kept out of its cage called your mind. Before you know it, your brain stood frozen and in its authorization in controlling the words coming out of you seemed to have been replaced by your heart.
"You're really pretty, Eddie." You slurred, and if it couldn't get any worse, you continued;
"It's you," Eddie frowned his face in confusion,
"You asked if I could date anyone in the circle. It's you Eddie. I like you." The confession was a moving hurricane and as always, with it comes a raging storm as the faucet turned somewhere back in your head and tears pooled in the corner of your eyes, and as it becomes too much, the first tear cascaded down your cheeks making contact with the cold tiles of Steve's dimly lit bathroom, your irises darkened as the realization of what happened had swallowed your gaping heart, hopelessly clinging unto the man situated in front of you.
Eddie reached to wipe the tears in your cheeks, a look on his face you couldn't quite read. But it was not a good one.
"You're drunk, y/n. Come, let's get you to bed." Eddie tugged your arm as he turned around, missing the hurtful emotion that washed you. He stopped when you didn't budge.
"I'm so sorry, Eddie." You started sobbing, hating the way you felt pathetic. Diverting your gaze on the dirty spot of your converse, anything to look at but the empty gaze of his brown eyes.
"I shouldn't have asked that stupid question." He spoke. His eyes are looking away from your figure. Confused by the way it sounded, not sure if he was mourning with your grieving heart or disgusted by your revelation, you gained the courage to look at him. But right now, Eddie was a closed book, the cover page worned out by time that the title itself was indistinct.
"Eddie-"
"Y/n, I- You don't like me, you just can't. I don't have it in me to be dishonest to you." He paused, and for a moment you could see a hint of hesitation as he opened his mouth but closed it with a sigh. Eddie turned his back on you, making it impossible to even see through him. Even though you could see the reflection of his side profile, you refused to look away from his back, afraid of what emotion you'll be seeing.
Eddie felt sorry for you, and he wishes that what just happened in the past few minutes was a nightmare and that he had fallen asleep with his drunk self. The sniffles echoing through the bathroom had enclosed him off his thoughts of convincing himself that this isn't gonna be the way your friendship was gonna end just because you had decided you'd fallen for him. There was a hesitation in what he's about to tell you, willingly lying to himself that he too reciprocated your feelings towards him which ends up with you happy, but then his mind drifted off to Chrissy. The girl that has sent him to cloud nine the past few days you were off ro God-knows-where. He wasn't going to give that up because he cherished what was between you two.
With sympathy laced on his tone, Eddie managed to utter, "I don't like you that way, y/n."
It took seven words to completely skip a painful beat of your heart, but your fragile mind at the moment had sworn it had heard it break into millions of pieces. Eddie hadn't missed the hitch in your cries as it stopped the moment he said those words. Turning back to face you, he frowned at the sight of you.
Feeling the need to say anything, you squeaked through your tighten throat, "s'okay Eddie." refusing to meet his brown eyes you've grown accustomed to.
"Y/n I-" He reached to put a hand on your shoulder, but retreated when he saw you back away.
"I think you should just go." Eddie took note of the crack in your voice, the close proximity had prevented him from not hearing everything coming out of you. A rush of guilt started to eat him away.
"Are you sure-" He tried.
"I SAID GO!" You snapped. Feeling another wave of hot tears about to escape your eyes. It was not that you were mad at him, but you hated the way he's giving you pitying looks.
Not wanting to upset you any further, Eddie fought his lingering thoughts of going against you and encase you between his arms right there, reassuring you and apologizing for why he didn't have to fall for you the way he did. So he did what he usually hated to do and left you without giving you another glimpse.
A flourishing paradox that birthed by the annihilation of both you and Eddie's friendship —though had left a missing piece inside both of you— had seemed to pull you in deeper than him. The comforting free fall had you gasping for that empty void in order to feel nothing at your current situation, clinging on to that rope that had you come into a conclusion that it'll be easier to grieve your dying cold heart that way. Not only had you lost yourself the moment Eddie escorted his way out from the room but you had also lost the sole reason for staying at Hawkins, which you had once thought was a good thing. You mentally shook yourself in despair for destroying what treasure could be worth more, years of built up memories had ended up only because you let your heart take over for once.
What was once a delightful sight to think of— you would never look at Eddie's brown eyes the same way again. The very last memory of it was a hurtful peer dawning upon you as it realized that its owner had not even once felt the same way as you do.
a/n: i might write a part two depending on the result of this fanfic :))
titsay
vaporwave
romaincrisis
izzy806
