nothing to give

priv. sel. indie oc — no fandom.

[51don]

[vexsed-blog]

spiroamavi:

In spite of the fumbled chewing, his smile still relayed through his eyes even as a busied hand made the attempt to cover his mouth. The expression seemed to teeter somewhere between the ledge of bashful and friendly - that was, until the first words offered to him had been to point out what a mess he’d made.   

      The observation took a split second to register in Theo’s mind, the clicking churn of a gear visible through those same expressive eyes, until finally gaze fell downward. A brief inspection of his own crumb-speckled chest unlocked a sudden bark of laughter. Followed by an even more amused cascade of noise, he was finally forced to finish the mouthful that kept trying to sputter out with a complete swallow.  

       “I do!” Theo agreed, at last revealing his grin to full capacity. He didn’t seem to mind, making no real effort to brush away his snack-dust coating. “Hopefully, I’m being a porker with purpose. Let’s see if all these carbs can counteract the six jello shots that are gonna kick my ass in T-minus…” Vibrant irises dimmed as he squinted to peek about the kitchen until landing on the neon green of a digital clock. “Eh, 20 minutes?" 

        From his chipper tone, that too didn’t seem to be of much concern. With a thoughtful nod, Theo finally took a few wandering steps to relieve his spot as the snack bowl’s diligent guard, to instead hoist himself onto the counter.   

        ”You just get here, or did you see that whole shit-show?“ The crunch of another cheesy pretzel followed Theo’s innocent inquiry, feet idly swaying to just barely tap his heels against the counter’s side.  

❛ this is a shit-show. ❜ 

    piss.            this looks an awful lot like conversation.

ever the expressive sort —well, only if you could count the three he has as such —alex’ reaction was all in the motion. the standard pursing of lips, clenching of the jaw and the one, twitchy brow that invoked something between a disappointed headmistress and pseud theater student. he was, as usual, a golem of terracotta and perturbation.

realizing that, not only had he failed to recall the perched stranger, he had also forgotten his entire reason for being in the kitchen to begin with, his vexation was directed inward. and suddenly everything that had only irritated him a little had increased in tenfold. the noise, the people. his brain.

another thing that dawned on him with some delay; how thoughtless his prior comment was. sure, even the obnoxious, tacky walls were causing him to internally emanate distress signals, but in all fairness, the stranger hadn’t said a thing out of line. i don’t even have a reason to be an ass.

 ❛ that was rude. i mean; i was rude. ❜ he lent back against the counter, switching between his thumb resting on his collarbone and palms on his hips, before settling on simply crossing his arms like an insecure bouncer, ❛ i’ve been here for awhile, i just haven’t paid attention. been paying attention. attendi—yeah anyway; what happened  ? ❜

      wait, what the fuck is a jello shot.

[mellow-dee]

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[vexsed-blog]

shootingsharp:

Jill can’t help the grin that spreads across her lips like wildfire across barren grasslands. Her arms cross over her chest, and for a moment she doesn’t even answer, preferring to watch his cool demeanour fall in the presence of Bongo. The plan worked without a single flaw, then. 

“He’s uh…” At this rate, Jill can’t remember at what point in her life she hasn’t had, or needed him around. “–Just turned seven. He’ll have been with me that long in a month or so.” 

 on his knees, scuffing his trouser’s on the cold, hard floor; alex ran his palms down the dalmatian’s spine and returned to gently pet his head. the thunder-faced expression he’d been sporting as per usual, faded. instead he held the faintest smile, as brown eyes flickered between jill and bongo.

in fact, it was quickly becoming difficult to concentrate on anyone but bongo. a wizard.

 ❛ he’s perfect, what the shit, ❜ still fussing the dog, now looking at the space between him and his owner; head slightly tilted in jill’s direction, ❛ you have any others, or is it just him  ? ❜

[vexsed-blog]

spiroamavi:

   For a few long moments of reprieve, the only noise in the kitchen had been the muffled blare of upbeat music and Theo’s own consistent chewing. It was miraculous really, but the inevitable intrusion of someone else finally pulled him out of his intoxicated rumination. Reacting to the question at his own leisurely pace, a sarcastic “Mm-Hmm.” caught in his throat beneath a mouthful of snack mix. As his head bobbed in a reinforcing nod, Theo’s slender frame rotated on the ball of his foot, coming to a halt once facing the person who’d addressed him.         Eyes landed on a chest, where he’d initially anticipated a face, but managed to find it once honey-colored irises flicked up just a smidge.         Oh. That face was familiar. He saw it every week!…but what was his name? Shit…

     The focus of trying to recall memory through a fogged brain relayed a bit too obviously on his face; lips parted and dark brows drew down sternly just before perking back up. If his smile her anymore animated, a sudden beaming lightbulb could have very well sprouted from his head. Ding!

     “Alex! Hey!” Any sentence of greeting stopped short as he made a quick attempt to cover the crude mess of snacks in his mouth, using a hand that was also already full of snacks.

  in every moment his name was recalled and alex couldn’t quite return the favour, he felt like he’d been anchored to the very spot. floating between the idea of ‘pressing on’ or ‘actually trying’, it was a common event that peppered his late childhood and, evidently, followed him into adulthood.

 it was, in all honesty, the feeling of dread. or alternatively, ‘i know that you know something; but i dont know what you know.’ alternatively alternatively; the human brain is utter bullshit.

shoulders rose, followed by painfully alert self-awareness which prompted him to drop them. gaze drifted from counter to counter, soon finding the man’s hands, covered in tidbits of an assorted shades of beige and orange. it all looked congealed, with a mind having been blanketed in a sweep of anxiety.

  ❛ you have, ❜ thrown for a loop, alex paused as he decided that he’d rather just ‘press on’ and hope the stranger doesn’t notice he is one, ❛ snack dust ...or whatever, on your shirt. ❜

[vexsed-blog]

notethcn:

             QUITE UNFORTUNATE THAT his brother and he did not share one mind at times like these ; he would have appreciated his input greatly once the question came. How much easier their often executed trap would have ben if they could pop a quick question to each other in times of need? 

Ah, well. It was fun.

             Slender fingers gripped at the edge of his oversized sleeve, a frayed strand of his jumper pulled with the press of his fingers. He was impressed actually, that the other managed to figure out his trick so quickly, that his carefully constructed cover was swept off of him in a breeze. Few could do it, really, and most hardly cared about what they were doing as long as they were getting what they wanted from them. It was a lot more fun for one to be expected to show up and the other arriving instead. 

                            still. it wouldn’t really be him if he gave up so quickly.

            ❛ Dude. ❜ He clicked with his tongue, a disappointed headshake was given, his lips pursed tightly together to hide the somewhat mischevious, happy and impressed smile.  ❛ You gotta be more specific. Do you mean work-work or the work at the bookstore? I get shit confused easily man, you have to give me a little bit of detail for me to remember. ❜ And hopefully it’s something broski shared with me.

  if you would hear from others, alex’s default expression seemed like a perpetual state of impasse. moody or stone-faced, their image perhaps explained them more so than it ever did him.

 it was not, necessarily, out of disinterest, but rather, a feeling of being inherently, well, dislodged. obnoxious huffs and rolled shoulders peppered his projection; leaving people to either catch up or let him drift from a conversation they’d soon become disinterested in. and truth be told; he could never blame them.

and yet, the geode enthusiast continued with neither overt interest, nor apathy. alex felt like he was there for ethan’s amusement. a familiar feeling, one that bred noxious resentment. there was an itch.

 ❛ what —why would i ask about work at the book store  ? ❜ eyes fixed to ethan, awaiting an explanation. admittedly, he barely cared about the tiny portion of the world he’d occupied for work, but the man’s response was rather telling. as if i’d ever show interest outside of work.

the itch worsened —alex wasn’t going to play whatever this game was; he didn’t care enough to dance even to try and catch him out. 

❛ it doesn’t matter, actually, ❜ lips curled, following with a scoff, ❛ i’m sure we can talk about this later. oh, and for the record ethan —don’t waste my time talking about shiny dirt. ❜

[vexsed-blog]

TAGGED BY @notethcn TAGGING @shootingsharp / @spiroamavi / @viriumspiritus ( always, deal with it )

BOLD THE AESTHETIC FOR YOUR MUSE. ITALICIZE WHAT CAN BE TAKEN TWO WAYS. REPOST AND DON’T REBLOG !

                                        MUSE AESTHETIC  !

the softest palms that never want to touch you until after a bottle of wine. / just braid your hair if you won’t brush it, at least, you useless girl. / pulling on your skirt with one hand as you shuffle away. / you’ll get it done before the day is up. / guilt that isn’t yours to have. / it’s a crooked game, but it’s the only one in town. / chains. / how could you do this to me? / the sharp sting of guilt. / you feel something even though you’re paid to do the opposite. / the family you never had. / falling backwards through time. / quicksand. / drowning, but you don’t save yourself. / you’re getting better. / they smile like a snake. / you’re the stars and the sky. / there’s a part of you that couldn’t stay away even if you were forced to. / they are your wings, there’s no doubt there. / let’s take off somewhere. let’s fly. / you edge a bit too close to the sun. / another ghost to take your place after every stumble. / deep roots in the ground slashed open in the sun. / rock candy melting in water. / waves rise and leave the foam behind. / the precipice you call home has a tip you’ll reach eventually. / happiness is the best front a man can take.

i’ve never seen someone as beautiful as you before. / you disagree; they’re more beautiful. / discomfort at the tiniest of touches. / the sky opens up when you see them. / rain comes down. / poppy fields. / your sanity hanging by a thread. / oh god, what have you done? / roommates weren’t supposed to be the smartest ones of all. / they’ve got a devil on their shoulder and an angel in their mind. / you try to help but it only got worse. / now they’re dead, it’s all your fault. / adam & eve in the garden. / a temptress in crisp button-downs. / fuck, you’ve gone off the deep end, haven’t you? / they lie so perfectly you almost forget yourself. / the spark that lit the kindling on your funeral pyre. / sugar and spice and a taste for the dark side. / yes saint laurent black opium on your pillow, a scented cloud drifting behind you like a cape. / crisp green apples piled up on the table. / your shoes are sharp, but your wit is even sharper. / what a pretty one, they say. / you laugh without humor. / a soft, hollow spot sits in your chest. / there’s a place you’ll never leave no matter who tries to stop you. / the seat of power fits like a glove. / heavy is the head that wears the crown. / you share a space, but not a mind. / they think you are weak; you are, maybe.

what are you going to do with all of these pills? / an empty bird’s nest. / broken pencil tips. / there’s an empty paper in front of you that you’ll never fill. / we want you to succeed. i hope you can grasp that. / they weren’t there when it happened. / corruption. / there’s a red string tying you together. / the scent of whiskey on the horizon. / you’re the best friend i’ve ever had. / pink tipped fingers lock in secrecy. / 99 red balloons drifting through a hazy sky. / you try to lift your head up, but it’s so much effort. / always walking on sunshine./ there’s a million reasons to come down from the clouds, but you can’t be bothered. / hair twisted up with glitter butterfly clips like a haphazard mobile. / you drift, but you know where you’re going. / no one has any dirt on you because you’re infinitely spotless. / the empty side of your bed they crawled into when they were nine. / court hearings. / I miss you. / siblings are a funny thing. / they point out every family-shaped hole in every picture on the mantelpiece. / blackbird screaming / wake in nightmares. / are you an illusion? / I don’t feel real.

[vexsed-blog]

@spiroamavi

    alex wasn’t entirely sure who matthew was — or was it russell  ?  james  ?  who cares  ? — nor him being twenty-one years of age apparently being everyone else’s business. unfortunately for him, however, roommate was hobnobbing with her college friends and besides her, he had no one else.

  it was a pity invite and alex was not above wallowing in self-pity.

 being taller than most was a benefit in many ways ; namely the ability to effectively weaponize his own shoulders in an effort to move every wobbly-footed, word-slurring, giggle-riddled party-goer whether they would have moved if he’d just asked, or not.

  get the snacks from the kitchen, the orders echo in his mind as he slid between bodies towards the weirdly dim lights and box piles. emerging through the door like a curious doe, he craned his neck around only to see an unhelpful, solitary fellow standing in front of his very objective.

   ❛ you mind moving  ? ❜

[vexsed-blog]

shoves her fingers into her mouth and whistles. the liver-spotted dalmatian, who had otherwise been captivated by the various stains adorning the lower corner of a wall twenty feet away, trots over. "his name is bongo. he's friendly."

   !!

 there were multiple factors to alex’s near-perpetual scowl of myopic, self-defeating suffering ( also known as angst ); why his face was less like thunder and more like category five.    although the one thing that was always a quick and easy cure for his diaphanous ego   ?  dogs.

   ❛ oh, shit, ❜ kneeling down, his palm hesitating over the dalmatian’s head, a smile seemed to crack the usual expression with buttery ease,  ❛ —what the fuck. he’s amazing.   how old is he   ? how long’s he been in your family   ? ❜

[vexsed-blog]

"got someone you might like to meet."

     !

   knitting his brow into a tight frown, alex was somewhat perturbed by the obscurity in her wording,   ❛ oh, yeah   ? ❜

[vexsed-blog]

❝ hi! sorry to bother you, we've been giving out these muffins to people all in the spirit of valentine's day, would you like one? there's blueberry and chocolate chip! ❝

      a part of him wanted to give a firm no or perhaps accurately, a fuck off i’m pretending i’m busy but i’m actually not. although logic dictated that it would be a case of biting your own nose off to spite your face. plus, he was hungry.

 ❛ uuh. ❜   looking down, trying to recall what was which off the top of his head, he shrugged and said the first thing that came to mind; ❛ choclaberry —no, shit. the blue fucker... what you j— blueberry. ❜

[vexsed-blog]

tcciturnity: 

      perhaps she would be GENEROUS, releasing air between her lips and imitating the closest thing to a snort she would get to. a hand dove into her pocket, fishing out a small notebook and soon scribbling on it before she presented the words ‘tbf i can’t “say” anything so’.

      watching her, alex’s brow furrowed as she presented the notebook. with the scribbling, he quickly became aware of the actual gap in height difference; namely, he could see what was being written.

  ❛ oh, cool. ❜   he was both curious and plainly bewildered; but he didn’t quite want to give her a lot to write down, after all, he could practically see it anyway,    ❛ alex. ❜  points to himself,   ❛ and you   ? ❜

[vexsed-blog]

notethcn:

          ANNOYANCE, DISRUPTION, MAYBE a little bit of confusion were all achievable goals that could be accomplished whenever Ethan and he pulled one of their pranks – and if they could walk away without anyone catching on, then perhaps they did a little too good of a job pretending to be each other. They were alike; identical only in appearance but not in personality. 

           Still, for now, James was having fun and he’ll have more when he’ll relay this to Ethan later. ❛ Yeah. ❜ He stated, his hands flying up in the air imitating the burst of lava blowing up from a volcano, a quiet ’woosh’ sounding from him as well.  ❛ Lava forms a cavity in a rock, then cools over it and rain and/or water seeps through the tiny microscopic pores into the cavity. It’s nothing, but then it’s something. ❜ 

           But then as his rambles drifted to their end, a small feeling of guilt crept on the young thief’s shoulder, his lips biting down onto his lower lip, silencing himself before he could continue. And he could; often one to talk an earful of useless but interesting facts he got stored in his head for no other reason than to fill it. ❛ But you’re busy, right? I could talk your ear off about this but I'mma leave you to it. Uncle Google can help you if you’re curious. ❜

  it was apt that ethan had chosen to talk about such things; truly, his interest was comparable to a rock’s cavity. thoroughly buried as the yeah left his lips in preceding his explanation, alex pulled himself from the mental drift he’d indulged in thereafter.

      uncle google. fuck off.

  ❛ like i said; better things to do. yeah. ❜ smacking his lips with a pop; a brow rose, inquisitive, as he the feeling of unease had not removed itself entirely. he didn’t enjoy how the imbalance felt; as it lingered to the day, unanswered. a chasm in his atmosphere.

 thinking it worth a shot, alex’s narrowed gaze followed a softened expression. one of genuine curiosity, and in part, utter indignation should he feel that he’d have to spend anymore minutes than necessary with the man, now branded a series of vulgarities in his mind.

 ❛ hey, ethan, before i leave,  ❜ a mantra of ‘calm’ blanketed across his mind, although removing discontent was a priority,  ❛ —you remember what we talked about ...about your work   ? ❜

[vexsed-blog]

tcciturnity:

      smirks at that, a triumphant tilt of her chin upwards.

     ❛ take that as a yes. ❜   he pauses, trying to figure out how to communicate when he’s terrible at it already,    ❛ i don’t ...know any sign language  —wait, except how to say toilet. ❜    scratching the nape of his neck, he lets out an awkward, stilted laugh.  

[vexsed-blog]

tcciturnity

presses lips into a thin line, arms folded before her chest, head tilted and a brow raised.

jaw tightens following a resigned sigh.  ❛ you don’t —or can’t  —speak, then  ? ❜

[m--artii]

          There was absolutely no reason for there to be fifty different kind of dish soap in the world and yet each time the gardener wined up buying a new bottle, he found himself cussing under his breath.  ❛ Why in the fuck– ❜ he began, crouching down to one of the lower shelf, his hand reaching in the hole in the middle of two products – an empty space where something once stood, now probably sold out, but Mark – ever the optimist – still reached behind it in hopes of getting something out of the back. When his fingers reached the cold, dead steel he cussed, somewhat loudly, head turning around in search of an unlucky store clerk in the vicinity.  ❛ Hey, ❜ He called once he spotted someone nearby, tapping the empty space on the shelf with his fingers.  ❛ Got any more of this shit in the back? ❜

                                                                               @vexsed

[vexsed-blog]

    it had been, in all honesty, a relatively nice day. the sun shone, but not too bring; the girl who was to take over his shift didn’t call in sick again, although the day wasn’t quite done yet. but for all the ( well, two ) positives he’d found, it was quickly unraveled at the cruel sound of hey in his direction.

      please. 

 a quick, rough cough to clear the cobwebs from his throat, a smile was plastered on his face. albeit practically non-existent. he was never a good liar, even when he tried his damnedest, although in all fairness  —he rarely tried at all. it didn’t help the customer had one of those questions, either. although, admittedly, it was delivered with a social finesse he could relate to.

   ❛  unsure. what’s the name of prod—the product   —you’re after  ? ❜

[vexsed-blog]

tcciturnity

narrows her eyes. grimaces for a moment. tilts her head and continues to squint up tbh.

 frowns, but expression quickly eases.  ❛ you speak english ...or —? ❜