You were right. When you told me life sucks and it isn’t fair, you were absolutely right. Having 3 hours of distance between us hurts. There are some days where I sit here wishing I could rewind back to what we had. I wish you were here with me- your arms felt like home. I hate that we’ve started to grow distant, because it makes me wonder if you’ve moved on. If you don’t have feelings anymore. I miss showing up to work everyday all excited because I knew it meant getting to be with you. I miss us always being together somehow- when we weren’t physically together, I’m pretty sure we were constantly texting and snapping. I miss your sweet texts and snaps, now we rarely text and when we snap, we barely speak. I miss getting compliments from you. You helped me gain some confidence in myself that I’ve really, really needed to find. I’d do anything to go back and relive this whole summer. I remember how this all started. I remember the first real conversation we had outside of work was on snapchat about a family issue I was having. I remember you coming to work the next day, looking at me and saying “How are you holding up?” and I just sobbed in your arms and you just hugged me, comforted me, were there for me. That meant the absolute world to me (just like you do). I miss our stupid sense of humor. I miss your hugs that were seemingly random, but always came when I needed them most (maybe you knew that, maybe you didn’t). I miss holding your hand. I miss the way you’d squeeze my hand a few times to signify that you had to leave for a minute. I miss sitting on the couch wrapped in your arms while we would watch cartoons and Vine compilations. I miss the way you’d let me snuggle up so close to you- it was so, so comforting. I miss how you would subtly play with my hair and then lightly kiss the top of my head as I laid wrapped in your arms, you probably never saw it, but it always put the biggest smile on my face. I miss you constantly tickling me to death. It never failed to make me laugh, you somehow always knew when to put a smile on my face. I remember when you’d joke about wanting to kiss me and I tried to avoid kissing you for the longest time. The real truth is, I did want to kiss you all along. I was just scared you’d hate it, scared things would get awkward, scared I’d disappoint you or something. I’m sure you could see it in the way we’d look at each other, which is maybe why you always joked about it. But when you finally made me feel absolutely 100% confident in letting it happen? I know you said it made your day, but it made mine too. Speaking of the way we’d look at each other, I miss looking at your pretty eyes. I will never forget the day we were kissing, you pulled away, looked into my eyes, got shyly quiet and said “you are just so beautiful”. That’s when I knew I fell. Hard. I miss your voice, your laugh, I miss you. I miss everything about you. You came into my life exactly when I needed it. No one has ever made me feel the way you did, the way you do. I hope someday we can find our way back to what we were, ya know?
I miss you. I miss us. You were my hardest goodbye this summer. No matter how many times I rewrite this letter and ramble, I don’t think I can ever fully express my gratitude for you. I’m so lucky I got the chance to get to know you. Thank you for making my summer the best, for dealing with me and my awkwardness, for always making me laugh, for always being there and just being such an amazing person- you are SO great. I miss your hugs, our cuddle sessions, holding your hand, kissing you, and just everything about spending so much time with you. I know I’m not always the best at saying things, but I want you to know that you mean SO much to me and I’m never going to forget you and all that’s happened between us, even though it seems like things are changing between us. You have brought so much joy, comfort, acceptance and so much more to my life that I will never fully be able to thank you for. Thank you for never judging me. Thank you for making me feel so loved, so appreciated, so wanted, so accepted, and so special. Thank you for coming into my life. I appreciate you so, SO much.
Everyday, you are on my mind constantly. So many little things remind me of you. Every night when I pray, I pray for you (and thank god for you, even though we may not be what we were anymore). Whenever your name pops up on a notification, my heart still skips a beat. You are still the first person I think of when I wake up and the last person I think of before falling asleep. You appear in my dreams. I know it’s stupid, but I fell hard. I wish I knew how you felt, because man, I would do absolutely anything to go back to us. No one has ever made me feel this way, nor have I felt this way for anyone else. I never said it, but I think I fell in love with you. And in my mind, you’ll always be my true love, I think. But maybe we aren’t meant to be together? Maybe that’s why it hurts so much- to know you love someone but it may just not be meant to be. I know you said “I wish we could’ve been something more, I wish things were different”, and the truth is, me too. But it doesn’t mean they still can’t happen, I just don’t know if you want that anymore, even though I truly do. Regardless, thank you for being so amazing, thank you for being part of my life, thank you for being you. I am so lucky to have had the chance to have had what we had with you, even if it was so temporary. I will never forget it. I will never forget you. You are the absolute best and you deserve the world- never forget that.
tangentwithtanner
kianamaiart
turnnoffyourmind
areudirty
andulkaphoto
origamiaround
2087
